DEAR GRINGOS,
(PUERTO RICANS LIVING ON PR FULL-TIME, PAY ATTENTION):
THERE WERE ONLY 4 OPTIONS FOR PR;
THERE IS ONLY 1 OPTION LEFT:
1. DEAD: TERRITORIAL POSSESSION (COLONY / STATUS QUO)
2. DEAD: STATEHOOD
3. DEAD: INDEPENDENCE
4. ALIVE: SPAIN...
1. DEAD: TERRITORIAL POSSESSION (COLONY / STATUS QUO): IT'S 2025, NOT 1898 ANYMORE, YOU'RE THE LAST COLONIZERS ON EARTH, STOP IT... NOW...
2. DEAD: STATEHOOD: NEITHER Ds NOR Rs WANT SPANISH-SPEAKING PR TO HAVE ELECTORAL VOTES, SENTORS, OR REPS; IT'S BEEN 127 YEARS, OBVIOUSLY WE ARE NEVER GOING TO BE A STATE: STOP BLOWING SMOKE UP OUR ASSES WITH THE STATEHOOD STOGIE... NOW...
3. DEAD: INDEPENDENCE: WE HAVE BEEN A COLONY FOR 532 YEARS, WE HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO BE INDEPENDENT; PLUS, YOU ARE THE ANTITHESIS OF COMMUNISM AND YOU ARE SCARED SHITLESS THAT WE WILL GO COMMUNIST, WHICH WE PROBABLY WILL, STOP LETTING US DREAM A DEAD DREAM... NOW...
4. ALIVE: SPAIN: IN 1898, YOU FALSE-FLAGGED THE USS MAINE, BLAMED SPAIN, DECLARED WAR ON SPAIN, INVADED PR, STOLE PR FROM SPAIN, AND KEPT YOUR ILLEGAL POSSESSION FOR 127 YEARS... REVERSE YOUR HEINOUS INJUSTICE... NOW...
GIVE PR BACK TO ITS RIGHTFUL OWNER: SPAIN... NOW...
PUERTO RICO IS SPANISH...
MAKE PUERTO RICO SPAIN AGAIN...
REUNITE PUERTO RICO AND SPAIN...
REUNIFY PUERTO RICO AND SPAIN...
NOW!