Make up
I love makeup. Although I didn't know what I was doing when I first used makeup in high school (I actually still don’t), I loved it anyways. People utilize makeup for different reasons. Makeup can be something used to enhance what we already have, or cover things we don't like; it’s a form of art and creativity for others. It was something so new to me in high school. I felt pretty because I was getting more attention and compliments. I felt noticed, included, and approachable.
What I didn't realize was that it’s all in my head. Yes, makeup makes a difference, but my self-esteem, self-worth, and interactions with others should not be based on if I’m using makeup or not. It shouldn’t have determined how I felt about myself or be the main source of my confidence. Teenage years can be very confusing and we all just want to fit in somewhere. We haven’t found ourselves yet and sure as hell don’t know what we’re doing, even if we act like we do. We just didn’t want to be alone.
It bothered me and made me feel insecure when I did not have makeup on. I’ve gotten comments like, “Are you tired?”, “W_hoa, did something happen?”, and worst of all “I almost didn’t recognize you_”. Thanks. This made me feel like I was obligated to have makeup every time I leave the house or if people were going to come over. I was worried about what people would say if I didn’t have makeup on or what they would secretly think. This brought out a lot of uncertainty, insecurities, and anxiety for me.
Makeup did not make me more or less empathic and friendly towards others, makeup sure as hell did not complete my group projects for me. They say first impressions are important, but how corrupted are we for actually believing in that? There’s so much more to a person than first impressions. What if we missed a chance at getting to know someone because their first impression on us was quiet or reserved and we’ve taken it as something else? Are we only trying to be friends with pretty/beautiful people in the eyes of society?
If makeup was the only reason why people were friendly to me, approached me, or included me, then that’s very, very shallow of them. If they're only your friend for the way you look, drop them. Trust me, no one needs friends like that and it can develop into a very toxic relationship. People are not obligated to use makeup at all if anything, we shouldn’t need to fit into society’s norm of beauty. Who cares if you didn’t want to put makeup on for the day, or week, or month? I’ve slowly learned throughout the years that society may be superficial, but I don’t have to be a part of that.
I don’t owe it to anyone to look pretty. If you’re uncomfortable with my bare face, it’s still not my problem. I learned that I don’t need people’s approval for my looks. I’ve learned to stop caring about what people think of my appearance or fitting in to societal norms. Instead of allowing others to see and judge me as a person through my actions, they were judging me through my image. I’ve learned that if I always try to be the best version of myself, as a person and human being for myself, I’m a happier person even with flaws. There may be different things that influences us and our behaviors, but ultimately the decisions and actions are ours and ours alone.
Don't get me wrong, I still love makeup and use it here and there. BUT only because I want to, for myself, and no one else. Do things because you want to, not because others want you to. Do it for you and only you.
