#malcom seward

[badass-at-fandoming]

Ya girl broke down and purchased the Victorian Trilogy like a Legal Adult(TM). I’m on page 106 are u ready for some OOC snark notes.

Some of these are NSFW and this post is rather long, so I’m going to put this under a cut. Also! If anyone wants a PDF version of the Victorian Trilogy, hit me up! I’m going to try to upload these to the Trove too.

Prologue:

Beckett: This house is definitely cursed.

Beckett: I’m going in.

Me: you don’t have to?

Beckett: no, I’m gonna

~

Inside the cursed house,

Beckett: hey, sorry to interrupt but do u got any artifacts

Emma, in the throes of magical ecstasy, dripping blood: do I know you?

(lemme say. what a way to meet your future boyfriend)

~

Beckett was doodling hieroglyphs like a good archeologist and Colonel Blake (Emma’s mortal husband) shot him and Beckett was like, "Wow, rude."

Notes from Ch1-5:

Boulle says Jill Off Rights

~

Regina: And this is my fiancee, who respects and loves me, Lt. Malcom Seward

Me, in my best Captain America voice: I understood that reference

~

Emma: [fakes her death]

Mary, an adulty adult: [SCREAMS]

Regina, an eighteen year old: Mary, I need you to get your shit together and help me wash this body or so help me

~

Col Blake: there will no be no talk of witchcraft in this house!

Regina: I didn't say anything about witchcraft

Blake:

Regina:

Blake:

Regina:

Blake:

Regina: ...well now I'm thinking about it.

~

I want Beckett to be snarky wolf dad to Regina send text

~

Regina, visiting her mother’s corpse to angst: God, why is it so dark in here.

Regina: [attempts to open the curtains]

Uncle Thomas, who is definitely a ghoul, appearing out of nowhere, sweating: No! It’s, uhhhh, Slavic tradition to, um, not let the sun see dead bodies because, ahhhhh, sunbeams steal souls.

Regina: do you have any concept of how EXTREMELY fake that sounds

Notes from Ch6-8:

why won't these vampires let Regina fuck

~

#LetReginaFuck1887Challenge

~

I am immensely enjoying the way this book is taking the White Wolf’s "vampires aren't interested in sex" rule and flinging it out the window. Every single goddamn one of them fucks

~

Vampires: we need to maintain the Masquerade

Also vampires: [murder people in the most suspicious, public way possible]

~

The Tremere are gaming for the Most Unnecessarily Dramatic Clan Award this year, I see

Yeah! If there are shorter passages of Beckett being cute, I will screenshot them. Until then!

[badass-at-fandoming]

Guess who finished A Morbid Initiation! It me. And let me tell you I was shocked, SHOCKED, by how good it was. Good feminist content in my White Wolf publication??? It’s more likely than I thought. Granted, I put the bar on the floor, but Boulle leapt over it so beautifully.

Mildly spoiler-ish snark summary below. Part 1 is here. Part 2 is here. If you want to read the novel, hit me up for a PDF!

Chapter 15 to End

At a Gather,

Regina, who has only met Kindred with Presence: What am I doing here? Will I ever measure up? All these people are so, so...flawless.

Bainbridge: hi

Regina: Oh, this one is ugly, thank GOD

~

Victoria, fully falling into Toreador compulsion: Look at that inferno consuming the poor of Southwark. Isn’t it...beautiful? All that emotion and suffering? The colors?

Regina, deadpan: No, wtf is wrong with you

~

Boulle absolutely fucking flexing on shitty White Wolf writers by making Regina like Sherlock Holmes and figuring out all Camarilla society on her own, which beautifully shows off her character, slowly builds the world for the reader, and displays how much of a dick Victoria is for not, just, yanno explaining hey that’s Lady Anne and if you’re rude she will murder you.

~

At a different Gather,

Regina: [sees Pool, her betrothed’s best friend] :O

Pool: :O

Regina & Pool: [Spiderman Meme]

~

Juliet Parr: Okay, so you’re Regina’s friend. I want you to spy on her for me and tell me of any potential Masquerade breaches.

Joanne: how did you get into my house

Juliet: Not important. I have a special dispensation. [hands Jo a knife]

Joanne: this just says “I do what I want” on the handle

~

Boulle says Reminder That Humans Are Monsters Too and Colonialists Can Eat Shit. (Seward is cancelled)

~

Regina is bisexual and it’s canon; I am SINGING

~

What is a ghoul to a woman with a very sharp shoe

~

What is a generations old plot to the love a daughter has for her mother

~

Area Men Determined To Get In The Way

~

Beckett: So...you wanted to talk to me about some drawings I made in my notebook about a goddess with a void for a head?

Hesha Ruhadze: Yes

Beckett: The Kemintiri drawings?

Hesha: Yes

Beckett: the drawings of Kemintiri

Hesha: Yes

Beckett: the void lady--

Hesha: where are the doodles, beckett

~

Back in the same cursed place the book started in,

Hesha: So you’re telling me that the drawings were on that wall, but SOMEBODY decided to build a hospital on this definitely cursed dirt and SOMEBODY shot you before you could finish the drawings anyway.

Beckett: ...yes. I presume by “somebody” you mean the British occupying forces, who are also currently dissecting bodies downstairs

Hesha: The British can Choke(TM)

Beckett: No, no, I agree.

~

Beckett: Ugh, I hate ghouls

Me, having written fanfic where he has a found family with multiple ghouls: I’ve ruined this whole man’s career

~

Ghoul, fully prepared to fuck with Beckett for murdering his regnant: The only one who knows the full story of Kimintiri is the white lady

Beckett:

Ghoul:

Beckett:

Ghoul:

Beckett:

Ghoul:

Beckett, who will be making out with Emma in four to ten business months: does she have a name or

[badass-at-fandoming]

Are you ready for more Morbid Initiation snarky summary!!!!!

Previous here.

Chapters 9-14

Beckett: Halim, I need to leave London ASAP

Halim Bey, a well-respected member of the Camarilla who also has Seen Some Shit: I take it you did not find the book you were looking for?

Beckett: Excuse you, I’m a professional. Of course I got the book!

Halim: then why--

Beckett:

Halim:

Beckett:

Halim: Mr. Beckett, did you do a Naughty

~

Halim, I shit you not, stuffs renowned Gangrel scholar Cuthbert Beckett into a Punishment Cabinet to think about what he’s done.

~

By “Punishment Cabinet,” I mean a literal cabinet, which is then packed up and mailed to Lisbon so Beckett can angrily drink blood tea and get a lore dump about a lady with a void for a head. Something something Kemintiri. The author actually cuts away from the lore dump and I’m sad about it. :(

~

MEANWHILE, BACK WITH BLAKES

Edward Bainbridge: hi, my name is Ed and I can do something no one else can

Wallig: and what is that?

Bainbridge: I’m going to creep out the creepiest dude in the World of Darkness.

Wallig: wh

Bainbridge: This is Wollig, the Tremere Regent. He’s the Regent of the Lion’s Green Chantry, which is a pulsing magical heart of the British Empire, upon which the sun never rises and British Kindred rule the night. Wallig is the scholar among scholars, dripping uncanny magical spark that others only have nightmares of.

Wallig: ...thank you?

Bainbridge, with his Food Merit: [sips tea]

Wallig: holy fuc--what the shit, oh my goD

~

Uh, Malcom Seward joins a secret society of imperialist white dudes who secretly rule the Empire???? Their secret is that they’re competent at military strategy.

~

Regina: Dad, I know I’m teenager and therefore have little experience of the world, but what’s going on is Not Normal and I think we should talk about our feelings, air out our grief, and maybe scale back on the heavy drinking and Uber Goth phase you seem to be going through.

Colonel Blake, a grown ass man: no.

~

Emma, literally breaking out of the Tremere Chantry and risking torture to visit him: Babe, I love you and need you to Get Your Shit Together for our daughter.

Colonel Blake, still a grown ass man: no.

~

Badass Alert: Regina breaks into Elysium

~

Badass Alert: baby Theo Bell!!!! He’s so cute!!!!! His sire, Don Cerro de Leon, is a bit of a tosser because he keeps showing off Theo like a shiny object, but, uh, it also sounds like he’s excessively proud of his childe and wants Theo to make all the right connections to become an Archon later? Very double bladed “hey, have you met my son who is handsome and intelligent and good and murdered several slaveholders with his bare hands.”

~

Badass Alert: Juliet Parr is a genderqueer Sheriff and I love her. (though TW for suicidal idealation because White Wolf cannot write non-ableist Malkavians)

~

Badass Alert:

Victoria, in most ominous, spooky Goth tones: now, to be your guide and patron in this secret night society, we must make a solemn oath...in blood.

Victoria:

Regina:

Victoria:

Regina:

Victoria:

Regina: all right. [takes hat pin, stabs her own finger, drops some blood in the glass, and downs it in one swig]

Me: holy shit, I love her.