Sep 3, 2022
Pairing: Malec
This artwork was created for the Shadowhunters Reverse Bang 2022: Presented by the @malecdiscordserver.
Dear @dicaculus wrote an amazing story for it!! Please check it out here on AO3 💙💙
seen from Yemen
seen from United States
seen from Italy
seen from United States
seen from Türkiye
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United Kingdom
seen from United States
seen from Sweden
seen from United States
seen from Netherlands
seen from Saudi Arabia
seen from United States
seen from Indonesia
seen from Brazil
seen from United States
seen from China
seen from Türkiye
Pairing: Malec
This artwork was created for the Shadowhunters Reverse Bang 2022: Presented by the @malecdiscordserver.
Dear @dicaculus wrote an amazing story for it!! Please check it out here on AO3 💙💙
the way to a chef’s heart by @lecrit
This artwork was created for the @malecdiscordserver Mini Bang 2020.
(click image for better quality!)
Prompt: Wing Cuddles Summary: It’s the one year anniversary of when Alec left his old life behind him.
Read it on Ao3
It’s the one year anniversary of when Alec left his old life behind him. He doesn’t regret leaving. He misses his siblings, but the fact that they did not try to pay the ransom doesn’t make him miss them as much as he wants to. Izzy and Jace always made sure to include him in anything they could until someone saw them all together. The number of times Alec had to walk home alone because he was unwanted was too many to count.
He sits in his room, leaning against the headboard of his bed. He thinks back to his old life and realizes it doesn’t make him as sad as it first did. The memories from a year ago don’t send an ache through his heart.
The life he has with Magnus, he wouldn’t trade it for the world. The amazing people he’s met in this city of Edom; Helen and Aline are now close friends of him and Magnus’. Friday’s just aren’t right if those two are not over for a night of food and drinks. His neighbors know his name and greet him with a smile when he leaves for work in the morning.
The kid with the black wings he saw the first few weeks he and Magnus moved to the city asks him to play all the time. And also to brag about how he and Aec are twins because they share the same color wings. Max is his name, Alec comes to learn.
The people of the market pull him left and right asking for his assistance. There’s never a dull day. People ask how he’s doing, offering him goods from their stalls without him having to ask or pay them.
He finally feels wanted.
Alec pulls out the feather he’s kept hidden in his nightstand for 5 months now. He’s made sure to keep it in pristine condition but even after being careful, the vanes of the feather have become a bit frayed. The burgundy and gold still shine in the light of his room. He knows it’s weird that he’s kept a feather of Magnus’ after their first grooming together, but it was the first time someone trusted him with their wings and vice versa. His heart still swells at the trust Magnus has for him.
He wants to cherish that first grooming for the rest of his life. Magnus and Alec have groomed each other’s wings plenty of times since that day, but Alec will never forget the intimacy of their first grooming for as long as he lives. They made it fun. The sounds that leave their mouths end with a laugh rather than awkward silence. Alec never feels like a bumbling fool because Magnus makes him feel comfortable.
If only he had the courage to tell Magnus how he feels about the man.
A knock on the door has him hiding the feather under his pillow. He grabs the book on his nightstand to make it look like he’d been reading and not fawning over a feather.
“Come in!” he says, playing it cool before Magnus enters.
“Hey,” Magnus smiles at him, opening the door. “I was just wondering if you wanted to go out for dinner tonight.”
“Sure. What did you have in mind?”
“Well...” he trails off and plays with his ear cuff, a sign that Magnus is nervous. “You remember that restaurant that we went to the first month we came here?”
“Yeah, the Italian place?” Alec nods, moving so that his legs and hanging off the bed. “Didn’t they close down for maintenance?”
“They did, but they just reopened last week and I thought… Well, I thought we could see if their pasta is still as good as it was all those months ago.”
“That sounds great, Magnus.”
“Excellent,” Magnus cheers, clapping his hands together before turning to leave. As he gets to the door frame he turns around. “Oh, make sure to dress nice. Apparently this place is now deemed as fine dining and doesn’t allow people in street clothes to enter anymore. Guess our street look made them reevaluate.”
Alec laughs as Magnus closes the door behind him. He grabs the feather and puts it back in his nightstand before standing up from the bed and making his way to the closet. Alec only has a few nice dress outfits from the times that his neighbors have invited them over for their monthly cocktail parties. It should worry him how many times they have the parties but after the first few, Alec has found that he enjoys the small gatherings.
Alec picks out his outfit, a black suit with matching black shoes. He lays out the suit on his bed, eyeing it to decide what tie he should wear when he remembers the gift that Aline had given him for his birthday. He goes to his dresser, pulls open the top drawer, and grabs the small box that has kept the tie in pristine condition until he found the courage to wear it. Opening the box he looks at the tie and smiles.
Guess tonight is the night.
---
Alec makes his way downstairs to the living room. It had taken him longer than he had thought to get ready, but he wanted to make sure he looked his best. When he looked at himself in the mirror and the only color he had on him was the tie, he knew he made the right choice. He looks down at the burgundy tie and the gold swirls that twist around it and adjusts it for the twentieth time that night. He’s gelled up his hair so that it’s not the normal poofy mess he has to deal with.
He looks around and doesn’t see Magnus yet, which means the man is probably still getting ready. He shakes his head. He thought he was running late, but he forgot that Magnus wears makeup and won’t settle for anything less than perfect.
Alec wanders around the living room, not wanting to sit so he doesn’t crinkle the suit. His mind drifts again to the past year and his time with Magnus. The house is now filled with memories of them. A small statue of a raven on the fireplace mantle that Magnus had brought home one day saying that it reminded him of Alec. Alec had been a sputtering fool only able to choke out a thanks before placing it in the spot it rests now.
There’s a guitar on the ground in the corner next to a record player that Alec had gifted Magnus after he witnessed Magnus help fix a street performer’s guitar on his lunch break. Watching Magnus strum a tune while making it sound right, Alec could tell that he could easily play a song. When he passed the music store one day and saw the acoustic guitar sitting in the window, he just knew he had to get it. He’s glad he stuck to his gut because the look on Magnus’ face when he saw the guitar sitting in the corner was everything to him.
His weekends were now filled with soft strums of guitar and a silky voice singing the sweetest of tunes.
Alec turns his gaze to the wall and all the framed photos that hang. He steps up to the wall and takes in each photo. The one of him and Max showing off their wings in the park. Max had insisted on a hero pose and how could Alec say no to the little guy. He could hear Magnus laughing with Max’s parents, but he couldn’t feel embarrassed when Max was looking at him like he was the coolest person on the planet.
The next photo was of Magnus and Aline both laying in chairs soaking up the sun’s rays in the back yard. Their wings spread out behind them, not caring that they were in the way of everyone else. What the photo doesn’t show is Helen sneaking up behind them with a bucket of water. Alec doesn’t think he’s laughed that hard before in his life, watching Aline chase her wife around the yard yelling profanities. He remembers looking over to where Magnus had sat up in the sun chair looking like a drowned rat and seeing the softest smile on his face instead of anger.
Alec goes to the next photo. This one is probably his favorite of them all. It was later in the evening with Aline and Helen that they decided to have a bonfire in the back yard. They had invited their neighbors and Max and his parents over for smores. Aline had Max sit between her and Helen as a way to punish her wife for her earlier antics. There’s a visible pout on her face as she watches Aline help Max get his marshmallow on his stick.
Their neighbors are chatting it up with Max’s parents. It was the first time they had met and they had hit it off immediately which meant they had added three more guests to their monthly get togethers. This also made Magnus sad because it meant less alcohol at the party, but Magnus got over it quickly once he saw how happy Max was to be hanging out with Alec more.
In the two-person wicker chair sat him and Magnus. He hadn’t even realized they had practically snuggled against each other until their neighbor had given them the photo a few days later. He may have drunk too many sangrias that day, but Magnus had felt so nice next to him. His wing decided to make the decision for him and curl around Magnus, pulling the man into his side.
He remembers Magnus relaxing into his side, his own wings pulled behind him so that Alec’s could curl around him. The photo shows them looking at each other with smiles on their faces. He forgets what was said to cause them to look at each other with such tenderness.
That was the moment he fell in love with Magnus.
Alec is taken out of his trip down memory lane when he hears footsteps coming down the stairs. Turning to ask Magnus what took so long, his words die before they even reach his lips.
Magnus was wearing a burgundy suit that matches his wings, gold seams around the edges of the blazer that shine. Golden cufflinks at the ends of the sleeves also glint in the light. His makeup flawless as always, eyeshadow the perfect match to the rest of his look. As Alec’s eyes look him over, they pause on the black tie around Magnus’ neck. When it hits the light just right, the colors of purple and blue shine through, just like his feathers. Alec’s throat dries up.
He finally looks at Magnus and sees the man is also checking him out. When his eyes reach his tie, there’s a glow to them that wasn’t there before.
“Alexander,” Magnus whispers, finally looking at his face. “You look stunning.”
“As do you,” he whispers back, voice a bit more hoarse than he wishes.
They stare at each other for a moment more. Snapping out of it with an awkward cough, they make their way to the front door. Alec locks up the house behind them before meeting Magnus on the sidewalk. The two begin the slow journey to the restaurant on the other side of town. Walking side by side, Alec has to put his hands in his pockets to stop himself from grabbing Magnus’. His wings, on the other hand, have no problem with showing his true emotions and his left wing is slightly extended behind Magnus. If the other man notices, he’s kind enough to not mention it.
“It’s a beautiful night out,” Magnus comments.
“Yeah,” he says. Not as beautiful as you, he thinks.
They walk in comfortable silence until they reach their destination. Nuovi Inizi is lit up in a soft glow. New Beginnings, Alec muses, how fitting. The owners really outdid themselves with the remodel as they step inside the restaurant. The ceiling lights are dim as candles fill the room in a soft glow that truly sets the mood. Magnus approaches the hostess, saying they have a reservation as Alec takes in the place.
“Follow me this way, Mr. Bane,” the hostess says. Magnus grabs his elbow and they follow the woman through the restaurant. They pass by a few couples that are also enjoying a night out, but they pass by them all and make their way through a set of french doors to the patio next to the ocean. Alec freezes at the sight causing Magnus to come to a halt as well. Magnus looks at him nervously and he understands why.
The patio has been cleared of all tables except for one in the middle. Fairy lights hang from the trees scattered around the area, illuminating the patio in a soft glow.
“Magnus…”
“Is it too much?” Magnus asks anxiously.
“I don’t,” he stutters finally looking at the man. “What is all of this?”
Magnus gets even more nervous if possible. He rubs his hands together, biting his lip before speaking.
“It’s the one year anniversary from when you decided to join me,” he says. “I wanted to celebrate the moment in a special way because it means a lot to me that you chose to come with me.” Magnus’ wings get smaller behind him and Alec realizes that whatever his face is doing is scaring Magnus. “We can go somewhere else if it’s too much-”
“No,” Alec blurts out. “It’s- You did all of this,” he gestures at the table, “for me?”
“Of course I did, Alexander,” Magnus admits, his wings losing their tension. “There’s no one else in the world who deserves this more than you.”
If Alec wasn’t sure he was in love with Magnus, he is now. He closes the small space between then and grabs Magnus’ hands, holding tight.
“Thank you,” he whispers. “It’s beautiful.”
Whatever tension Magnus had in his body leaves and he pulls Alec towards the setup. The hostess left their menus on the table before disappearing back inside. Alec pulls out Magnus’ chair before sitting down in his own. He grabs the menu and everything is new. None of the foods they had last time are on the menu.
“Wow,” Alec laughs, peering over his menu. “It’s like they completely threw out the old place.”
“That is for sure,” Magnus agrees with a laugh of his own. “You think they would at least keep the ravioli I had last time, don’t think I ever had it that good before in my life.”
The waitress comes back with a bottle of red wine and takes their orders. They fill the night with talk of work and life. Just like any night before this, words fall easily from their lips. Their laughter echoes on the empty patio and they have to stop themselves from getting too loud lest they annoy the patrons inside. When their dinner arrives, they’ve almost finished the whole bottle of wine and Alec feels warm inside. He’s pretty sure it’s mostly the wine but with Magnus sitting across from him, he can’t tell. Magnus always had a way of making him feel warm inside by just being in his presence.
Small talk continues during dinner and after. Alec’s pretty sure they’ve stayed past their welcome but their waitress has not said anything so Alec isn’t going to either. Alec sits back and closes his eyes. He lets the sound of the ocean wash over him and that’s when he hears it; music drifting from inside the restaurant and reaching the patio.
Decision made, Alec sits up from his chair and holds out his hand.
“Care to dance, Mr. Bane?” Magnus stares at the hand and back up at him. Alec raises an eyebrow. So he may be feeling a bit more confident due to the wine, sue him. It’s not like he’d have this courage if he was sober.
“Lead the way, Mr. Lightwood.” Magnus grabs his hand and Alec leads him to an open space.
He holds Magnus’s right hand in his left and wraps his other around Magnus’ waist. Magnus’ other hand wraps around his neck and brushes at the hairs on the back of it.
In this world of ordinary people Extraordinary people I'm glad there is you
They sway back and forth, barely moving as they stare into each other’s eye. Alec has never been happier for Helen, that she taught him how to dance one drunken night.
In this world of overrated pleasures And underrated treasures I'm glad there is you
Alec leans his head forward to rest against Magnus’ and it feels like he’s truly found his place in the world.
I live to love, I love to live With you beside me This role so new I'll muddle through With you to guide me
Alec doesn’t know what he would do without Magnus. What he would be. Who he would be. He shivers just thinking about it. Magnus must feel the shiver because the grip tightens before the fingers start stroking the back of his neck.
In this world where many many play at love But hardly any stay in love I'm glad there is you More than ever I'm glad there is you
“I love you,” Alec whispers in the small space between them. Magnus’s eyes shimmer in the soft glow of lights at the confession, a soft smile on his face. He looks even more beautiful than he has all night.
“I love you, too,” Magnus whispers back. They stare at each other for a moment before he closes the space between them.
The kiss is everything he imagined it to be. It’s not rushed or hurried. It’s gentle and soft, like they’re something fragile that needs to be handled with care. He tightens the hand he has on Magnus’ waist and feels the hand on the back of his neck drift into his hair. It never becomes heated even if he wants nothing more. Right now is not about that. It’s about the man in his arms and the fact that he loves him back.
He pulls back, laughing as Magnus follows his lips. He gives a small peck and leans his head next to Magnus’. Magnus tucks his face into the crook of his neck. Alec hums the lyrics of the song as they sway back and forth on the patio. The arm Magnus has around his neck drops to his shoulders and holds on tight. Once again his wings have a mind of their own and curl around Magnus’ wings. Their own little cocoon, tucked away from the rest of the world. He knows the wait staff will come to kick them out eventually, but right now?
Right now, Alec wants nothing more than to dance with the man he loves.
Pairing: Clizzy
This artwork was created for the Shadowhunters Reverse Bang 2022: Presented by the @malecdiscordserver.
And the lovely @hopesilverheart wrote a brilliant story about it 🥰🥰
You can check their post here or the fic on AO3 here. 💜
(right from the start you would be) My Light in The Dark
Pairing: Malec
Rating: M
Summary: What if Magnus couldn’t forgive Alec for breaking his heart after the deal with Asmodeus? What if Magnus left New York and never looked back? What if Clary never got her memories back? What if the parabatai duo was so broken for their lost loves, they couldn’t function anymore? What if broken hearts led to broken souls? What if one left and the other disappeared? What if Magnus came back to a New York where Alec Lightwood vanished a century ago? What if What if What if
Or, Second chances might take longer. But they always seem to find their way back to each other.
This fic was created for the Shadowhunters Reverse Bang 2022: Presented by the @malecdiscordserver
Art by the lovely @hopesilverheart
Chapter 1 - I’ll never worry about letting you break my heart (I'll break my own)
||| Then |||
“I’m not the first person he’s loved, and I won’t be the last. Breaking up is gonna hurt like hell, but it’s the kind of hurt he can recover from.”
“But what about you? Can you recover?”
Alec couldn’t.
Magnus’ heartbreak was stamped under his eyelids – a permanent reminder of his choice, of his sacrifice.
Two broken hearts for magic and immortality.
Did they even have the same value?
Alec didn’t think broken pieces could be worth something, but then again, his dealer was a Prince of Hell. Alec’s misery might’ve been a banquet for Asmodeus. Perhaps he would feed on it for the remainder of Alec’s days.
Oddly, it was a fitting punishment.
Because Alec destroyed the most beautiful thing in his life.
Could you be forgiven for hurting the person you loved more than life itself?
Numbly, Alec felt that the Angels didn’t care.
You’re a warrior, not a lover.
Your hand should kill and destroy, not touch tenderly.
Kill the demons.
Destroy himself.
Maybe do both while you’re at it. Alicante was falling in fire and ashes and blood all around him. Would it be a mercy to die while protecting his city? He wouldn’t care. But if he was going to die fighting, at least he wanted to give his siblings a chance to flee and live.
“We got this,” Alec stated with more conviction than he really felt. He notched five arrows and aimed at the swarm of flying demons coming to his and Izzy’s direction.
“We got this?” His sister looked at him like he had gone crazy already, but didn’t protest further. She readied her whip, already dreading the outcome.
However, before the demons could get any closer, all of them exploded in a big cloud of ash, flames and ichor.
It was brief, but Alec could see the red sparks floating in the air before blinking out of existence.
Magic.
Magic, although destructive, still lingering with familiarity.
“I’m sorry I’m late.”
And if the magic wasn’t already a dead giveaway, that voice sealed the deal. Alec’s entire body tensed, and he had to muster all his self-control to not flinch.
Turning around, he had to swallow hard – both words and tears.
Because his boyf– no, ex-boyfriend was there.
Magic and power circling him like a cloak.
“Traffic was hell.” He joked, but it fell flat on his ears. There was no humor there. Magnus’ voice was indifferent, almost detached, and he barely deigned throw a single glance to Alec’s direction.
Alec wanted to say a lot of things.
I’m sorry.
Forgive me.
I lied.
I love you.
Are you okay?
Are you happy?
Do you feel whole again?
You shouldn’t be here.
Asmodeus… If Asmodeus finds out, he will take your magic back.
Get out of here.
It’s dangerous.
Protect yourself.
Stay.
Go.
I love you.
I love you.
Please, Magnus.
Believe me.
But he stayed quiet. Which was a good thing, as he only then realized Magnus wasn’t alone.
There wasn’t a better word to describe what he was seeing than ‘army’. A whole army of Downworlders marching into Alicante – warlocks, vampires, werewolves, seelies. And despite each faction having their own leader, there wasn’t a shadow of doubt as to who the highest in ranking there was. The one they were all looking to in expectation.
Automatically, Alec stood straighter, posture rigid yet respectful. Even Isabelle acquiesced, doing the same.
“Magnus,” Catarina called, breaking the wordless, intense eye contact between Alec and Magnus.
“Lead all the healers to the nearest empty building you find. Take any volunteers to build wards around it and to retrieve any fallen.”
Catarina nodded once then turned around, soon being followed by a group of warlocks and other Downworlders.
After shooting one last glare at Alec, Magnus turned to the large army, casting a quick spell to make his voice louder.
“All the warlocks, with me to seal the rift. As for the others, either help the Shadowhunters to kill the demons or take the civilians to a safe place. I will also need coverage for the warlocks sealing the rift.”
“We can help,” Alec offered, but only received a cold glare from Magnus.
“We don’t need your help, Shadowhunter. Instead of wasting my time, why don’t you go help that parabatai of yours to deal with the Morgenstern boy? He is still a threat for my people and the cause of this mess. After all, you like to fix things, don’t you?
Alec’s jaw dropped. That jab… Magnus knew. Somehow, he knew what Alec had done.
Before he could spiral into a hurricane of despair, anxiety and fear for having broken the deal in some way, Izzy took his hand and pulled him away.
“Come, big brother.”
Looking at Magnus one last time – who wasn’t even looking at him anymore, but walking away instead – Alec’s shoulders slumped in defeat and he nodded.
After… He could talk to Magnus after.
And hopefully clear things between them.
Yes, Alec could only pray – to any angel who hadn’t abandoned them yet – that things were going to be alright.
~*~
In the end, even with the four of them – Jace, Clary, Alec and Izzy –, only the redhead was able to take Jonathan down with a new rune given by the Angels. They were all exhausted, mildly hurt (though nothing that an Iratze couldn’t help with) and a mess of blood and dirt, but at least they were victorious. The warlocks were able to close the rift and the Downworlders were already retreating from Alicante. Some of the leaders stayed back to negotiate with what was left of the Clave’s representatives, and Alec was sure Magnus was one of them.
He knew he had to go report to Jia about Jonathan’s demise and check with Underhill for updates about the New York Institute, but he couldn’t. He wouldn’t. Not without talking to Magnus. Alec felt that if he missed the opportunity, it would be the end for good.
He couldn’t afford that. Not again.
Losing Magnus… would break him forever.
Four hours later, Magnus finally left the Gard alongside his fellow Downworlders. He opened a portal so all of them could go back to their respective cities, staying behind until he was the last one to cross it. But before he could take even one step towards it, Alec called his name.
The portal didn’t close, but Magnus didn’t go into it either.
Fortunately, they were alone, the early hours giving them the privacy they so needed.
“I see that you got your powers back, that’s good.” Alec began after the silence stretched for a while.
Magnus didn’t reply for a long moment, and Alec was already expecting to be ignored and be left alone. But then the warlock turned and looked at him as if searching for something.
“Once, I said you would blow up the very ground you stood to make something right. It seems that lying is included in your efforts.”
“What?” Alec said faintly.
“A meeting with the Clave? Really, Alec?”
Alec.
Not Alexander.
Alec.
He never thought he would hate the sound of his nickname so much.
Alec remembered that Halloween night. Magnus asking if he could go to Maryse’s shop too to help with the decoration, a hopeful gleam in his eyes for the first time in many days. And Alec having to refuse because he had a meeting.
That part was true. Though not regarding the other party.
“I know about the deal with my father.”
Alec paled. He opened his mouth to protest, but Magnus lifted a hand to stop him.
“Do not fret. I sent him to limbo. Your deal with him is null and my magic is safe.”
Alec’s shoulders slumped at once in relief.
“Why?” Magnus whispered, his voice broken and defeated. “You had no right to choose for me again. First, asking Lorenzo to take his magic back, then my father. Do you even care about my opinion at all?”
“Magnus, you were so miserable. It felt like you were slipping through my fingers. I thought…” Alec’s voice also broke. “I thought you were already going somewhere I couldn’t follow. And I couldn’t help but wonder if the next time I tried to catch you, it would be too late.”
Magnus clenched his jaw, barely containing his frustration and sorrow.
“I was trying to get better. That night I even decided to stop drinking. I knew how worried you were and I wanted to do better for you, for us.” His hands started shaking and his unglamored eyes were full of tears.
“Magnus, what I said… I don’t… I swear… I still lo–”
“Shut up!”
Around them, streetlamps exploded and glass panels shattered.
“Don’t you dare say those words. Don’t you dare taint what is left of me.”
Alec shook his head hard, using all his willpower to keep the tears from falling.
He wouldn’t break apart there, he wouldn’t.
“I thought you were different, but I was wrong again. Tell me. Tell me how you differ from Camille, because honestly? I can’t see a single difference right now.”
Alec flinched hard.
Stabbing him with a Seraph blade would’ve hurt less.
“You… You’re comparing me to Camille? I didn’t… I never… I–”
“You never cheated on me, yes, but hurting me? You lied, you betrayed me.” Magnus’ voice was harsh.
“I only wanted to make you happy again. I lov–”
“Don’t!” Magnus hissed, his slithered pupils becoming even thinner. “Don’t you dare.”
Alec missed the warmth.
He could take Magnus’ anger, but not that coldness.
The indifference. The hate.
Not again. Not again. Not again.
He knew he deserved it, this time, for going around Magnus’ back, but it hurt nevertheless.
And Magnus’ next words sealed the deal and finished shattering his already broken heart.
“You are no better than Camille.”
A pain like no other burst inside Alec’s chest.
It was even worse than when he had felt his parabatai rune ripping apart by Jace’s brief death months ago.
“Go live your life, Shadowhunter. I hope to never see you again.”
And with finality, Magnus turned and entered the portal – which snapped shut a second later.
Between one moment and the other, Magnus was gone.
Alec’s bow clattered on the asphalt.
His knees soon followed.
Alec didn’t care that they had won. He barely heard the loud cheering of fellow Nephilim celebrating their victory while the first rays of morning shone brightly over Alicante.
“Alec?”
“Big brother?”
Everything hurt.
And a traitorous part of him knew that pain would be a part of him until his last breath.
He felt familiar hands touching his shoulders and arms.
For the first time in his life, he didn’t try to keep the leader persona and hold his feelings in. He didn’t care that other people could see him.
Letting the tears roll down, Alec broke down in his siblings’ arms.
||| Now |||
Magnus’ boots echoed through the large hall, occupied by only another soul beside him. He bowed his head respectfully to the Elder and waited.
His visits to the Spiral Labyrinth had become increasingly frequent lately due to a magical instability – both angelic and demonic – affecting not only the Shadow World in its entirety, but the ley lines in more than one dimension, and Magnus had been appointed as one of the leaders of the Warlock community to aid in the damage control.
When he finally thought he was going to get a day of peaceful rest, he received the summons from one of the High Elders, leaving him no choice but to comply.
“We received a request from one of the Hidden.” The Elder spoke, turning to him slowly. His eyes were pure black, very similar to one of a demon’s, but they held kindness and wisdom in them.
Magnus’ eyes widened slightly. The Hidden were communities of Downwolders scattered around, living peacefully in-between veils of this dimension and others. They were like gatekeepers, helping to keep the connection between time and space, the mortal and immortal. Their localization was a secret, ever-changing, and one could only enter their realm with their permission. The Council of the Spiral Labyrinth kept tabs on them, helping them to hide even from the Seelie Queen and Unseelie King. Shadowhunters didn’t know about them either, so if they ever had any problem with demons, they dealt with them by themselves.
“As you already know, the current instability in your world was caused by the destruction of one of the nine hell realms.”
Magnus nodded. An internal conflict between the Princes of Hell had caused one of the dimensions to collapse into itself. He knew Edom wasn’t far away from the same fate without Asmodeus and Lilith’s still weak state. Small rifts had been opening in all continents, and only the ever-growing alliance between Shadowhunters and Downworlders were keeping the invasion of demons at bay. If even the Hidden were being affected by it, things were more severe than he had thought.
“Three days ago, the Blue Hidden were attacked when a rift opened at their borders.”
Magnus frowned, trying to rack his brain for what he knew about them. Since the Hidden didn’t have names for their different communities, they were classified by colors to facilitate their tracking by the Council. To defend themselves, they either trained their own or hired high-skilled beings to protect them. If Magnus wasn’t mistaken, Blue Hidden had the latter.
“Wasn’t their guardian able to defend them? Or could their warlocks not close the rift?”
The Elder shook his head. “They’ve dealt with that already. The issue therein lies on the gravity of the attack. The rift didn’t bring low level demons as per usual. It was a Greater Demon.”
Magnus blanched. “What?”
“The instability caused one of their veils to almost be ripped apart. A Greater Demon took advantage of that. Fortunately, their guardian was able to kill it, but not without great sacrifice. He seems to be on his deathbed and the people are in panic. Their leaders came personally to request your assistance to heal him.”
“I’m flattered by it, but you know well that healing is not my strongest suit. An experienced healer, Catarina Loss for example, would be of much more help.”
“And yet, they insisted on you. They made it very clear that the only warlock they would grant access to their lands was you.”
“This… doesn’t make sense. Why me?” Though, considering it was an attack by a Greater Demon, perhaps some dark magic still lingered, and a healer wouldn’t be enough. If they thought Magnus was skilled enough to help, why not?
“They are very desperate. They call this guardian of theirs Protector of Light, and they are terrified of losing him. They really believe you are his only chance of surviving.”
Sighing, he nodded.
“Very well. Where do I have to go?”
The Elder waved his hand, making a piece of paper appear. “Come to this city and wait there. Within the next few days, the veil will get thinner there. You will be able to feel the exact spot to open a portal.”
Magnus took the paper, and his face fell immediately.
Of course.
Of all places…
“And while you are there, could you do this old fool a favor?” He waved his hand again and a package appeared. “I need you to deliver this personally to the head of the local Institute. The content is fragile, and I wouldn’t want to fall in the wrong hands.”
“Isn’t this supposed to be a task for their High Warlock?” Magnus forced himself to say, trying to not sound like a whining child.
“Lorenzo asked to delegate this to you since… What did he say again? Ah, that you are very easy with Shadowhunters.”
Magnus gritted his teeth. That asshole.
Plastering the fakest smile he could muster, he hummed.
A century.
It has been a century since he last visited that city. That loft.
A century since he last saw…
“Well, I guess it’s time to go back to New York then.”
~*~
“Nice to meet you, Mr. Bane. I’m Rinoa Goldstairs, Head of the New York Institute.”
Magnus smiled politely, but was already regretting being there. It had taken him two days to muster enough courage to approach the Institute, and at least three hours to knock on its door. If times hadn’t gotten better and relations between Nephilim and Downworlders hadn’t improved, he was sure a bunch of Shadowhunters would have already surrounded him with blades, thinking he was there to attack them.
The worst part was that aside from the Shadowhunters’ behavior, something more friendly and respectful, nothing else was really different. At least, not physically. The walls, the screens, the stained glass, the fucking floor was the same. If that new Head hadn’t changed the damn Head’s office too, Magnus would cry.
He might’ve gotten a bit too distracted by the past threatening to hit him at full force, because he totally lost track of what Ms. Goldstairs was saying.
“…you are a legend, Mr. Bane. Everyone knows about you and the four Shadowhunters that made history here in the New York Institute.”
“Is that what they are calling now?”
“It’s just sad that it didn’t have a happy ending after the Battle of Alicante.”
The Battle of Alicante was how the invasion of demons due to Jonathan Morgenstern’s attack was named in the Shadow World’s history. At least the Nephilim had enough decency to not erase the Downworlders’ contribution to their aid. From what Magnus had heard, it was thanks to some mysterious Shadowhunter who took the position of provisory Inquisitor and made sure that the Downworlders were not only remembered, but also given rightful credit to the salvation of the Nephilim’s capital.
“May I ask you what happened to those four Nephilim you mentioned? I thought this Institute would still be under the Lightwoods’ control considering how long they managed it for before. No offense to you, of course.”
“None taken.” Rinoa smiled, already typing something on the screen. “From what I know, the only Lightwoods still alive live in Idris and they came from the youngest’s lineage, Maxwell Lightwood.” Suddenly, four images popped on the screen.
Clary.
Jace.
Isabelle.
Alec.
Magnus’ heart clenched. Seeing Alec’s photo after a century… In the beginning, he had only felt anger and resentment. Now it was a never-ending sadness. He didn’t want to admit it, but he missed Alec more than he missed any other lover he ever had in his life.
All the photos were from the time Magnus met them – young, full of energy and fire in their eyes.
“Clarissa Adele Fairchild,” she tapped on the redhead’s picture and it transformed into a more recent photo – of a beautiful old lady with bright red hair, ink on her arms and a joyful smile. Though Magnus noticed, there were no runes. “Punished by the angel for the overuse of her gifted runes, lost all her memories of the Shadow World alongside her runes. Passed away thirty-five years ago.”
Another pang in his heart.
Oh Biscuit…
“Jonathan Christopher Herondale and Isabelle Sophia Lightwood,” Rinoa double-clicked and both their pictures also turned into their old selves.
They still had their angelic beauty, wrinkles and all.
And again, no runes.
“Both requested de-runement, later integrating themselves with the mundanes.” Magnus’ eyes widened in pure shock. “Jonathan married Clarissa, and they had kids. Isabelle stayed in a relationship with the vampire Simon Lewis until the end, but no marriage or kids. Jonathan passed away forty-eight years ago, and Isabelle passed away twenty-nine years ago.”
Then, Rinoa moved to tap on Alec’s picture, and Magnus swallowed the lump already forming in his throat.
He didn’t know what he feared more – seeing how Alec also got old, and remembering their fight over Magnus’ immortality, or hearing about Alec’s death, thus remembering the fragility of Shadowhunters’ mortality.
However, what appeared was a big question mark and a sign of error.
Rinoa hummed. “Right, nobody knows.”
“What do you mean nobody knows?” Magnus tried to keep a detached voice, but didn’t know if he did a good job considering how he was feeling almost hysterical now.
“One year after the Battle of Alicante, around the same time that his siblings got de-runed, he disappeared. No body, no angelic signature. No rune or magic could track him.”
Magnus felt his knees go weak, and only centuries of self-control prevented him from breaking down entirely after Rinoa’s last blow.
“Alexander Gideon Lightwood vanished from the face of Earth a century ago now.”
Masterpost
(right from the start you would be) My Light in The Dark
Pairing: Malec
Rating: M
Summary: What if Magnus couldn’t forgive Alec for breaking his heart after the deal with Asmodeus? What if Magnus left New York and never looked back? What if Clary never got her memories back? What if the parabatai duo was so broken for their lost loves, they couldn’t function anymore? What if broken hearts led to broken souls? What if one left and the other disappeared? What if Magnus came back to a New York where Alec Lightwood vanished a century ago? What if What if What if
Or, Second chances might take longer. But they always seem to find their way back to each other.
This fic was created for the Shadowhunters Reverse Bang 2022: Presented by the @malecdiscordserver Art by the lovely @hopesilverheart
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
You can also read it on AO3!
(right from the start you would be) My Light in The Dark
Pairing: Malec
Rating: M
Summary: What if Magnus couldn’t forgive Alec for breaking his heart after the deal with Asmodeus? What if Magnus left New York and never looked back? What if Clary never got her memories back? What if the parabatai duo was so broken for their lost loves, they couldn’t function anymore? What if broken hearts led to broken souls? What if one left and the other disappeared? What if Magnus came back to a New York where Alec Lightwood vanished a century ago? What if What if What if
Or, Second chances might take longer. But they always seem to find their way back to each other.
This fic was created for the Shadowhunters Reverse Bang 2022: Presented by the @malecdiscordserver
Art by the lovely @hopesilverheart
Chapter 2 - I'll be lying awake (Countin' all the mistakes I've made)
||| Then |||
“Now that I have seen some of that history with my own eyes, I can’t help but think if I’m lucky maybe one of my arrowheads ends up in that box.”
“I don’t even want to think about you being gone.”
“One day I will be, and you’ll move on.”
Alec released a tired but relieved breath when he signed the last document. His job was done. He made sure to not leave any loophole, any dot behind, before handing over the heavy folder to Aline.
“Are you sure we can’t persuade you to officially take the Inquisitor position? Our people would thrive having you to lead them alongside my mom.”
Alec smiled in gratitude, but just shook his head.
That was a recurring argument now. After the Battle of Alicante months ago, the Nephilim society had been in shambles. Alicante was in ruins, many Institutes around the world were empty after Jonathan’s massacre, and people were lost. Having been personally involved in Jonathan’s demise – and Valentine, Lilith, hell in general – and also used to the political game for years, Alec had been personally invited by Jia Penhallow to occupy the position of Inquisitor and help her in the damage control.
Alec had accepted with the condition that it would just be temporary, until things were stable again and a better person could take the job.
Not that he didn’t think himself capable of it, no. But he was in no mental or emotional state to take on such huge responsibility.
Alec… Alec was tired.
There wasn’t a single day when he didn’t wake up haunted by nightmares. Guilt and sorrow and grief warred in his mind and heart, and he couldn’t think.
It didn’t help that most times, he couldn’t separate his pain from Jace’s.
After Clary had been punished by the Angels and kicked out from the Shadow World, Jace just… shut down. It was even worse than when he’d thought Clary was dead, because this time she was there, but unreachable all the same. It was killing him.
While losing Magnus was killing Alec.
Nephilim love once.
It might be blasphemy, but the urge to curse the Angels for molding their children’s hearts like that was too strong.
It was cruel.
Perhaps that was why the emotions cloud judgment phrase was constantly drilled into their heads from the beginning. Like a fail-safe to prevent such a mess.
And yet, Alec couldn’t regret it.
He would never regret loving Magnus. And he would never forget his warlock.
Keeping Magnus inside his heart was what kept Alec alive most of the time. Though it didn’t prevent him from doing dumb, dangerous stuff. Add that to Jace’s equally broken behavior, and they were a danger hazard in patrols and missions. More than once, one of them, or both, had to be brought back from the brink of death after some self-sacrificing act. They weren’t trying to be suicidal, but it was as if their own safety didn’t matter anymore.
Their feelings, their pain at an infinite feedback loop, were putting the parabatai bond in haywire, almost cannibalizing itself. They either felt too much or nothing at all.
“I need a break,” Alec told her honestly, freezing for a second after realizing what those words had once meant, echoing back to him from one of the worst days of his life. He blinked hard, then cleared his throat. “There are wonderful Shadowhunters out there that could do a better job than me. Diana Wrayburn, Diego Rosales, even you or Helen. Our generation is more hopeful than the ones before us, and I’m positive it will only get better.”
“Thanks to you. You opened the roads for that, Alec. Your ideas, your alliance with the Downworlders, everything helped bring the changes we all needed. If it weren’t for you, the New Accords wouldn’t have even been signed.”
Alec gave her a small smile, tilting his head. “I only did my job. And I had help.”
“You are far too stubborn, Lightwood.” Aline rolled her eyes, but her smile was fond. “I’ll get going then. Helen is waiting for me to choose the cake.” She got up, then glared at him. “You will come to my wedding, right?”
“I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” He grinned a bit, and it was genuine. He was happy for Aline and Helen, he truly was. They deserved the freedom to call each other ‘wife’ and have that in an official document, and not in whispers behind secret doors or closets.
Aline nodded once, winked at him, then left his office.
Exhaling slowly, still – always – tired, he looked around. Even after taking the temporary position as Inquisitor, Alec mostly worked in his office at New York, only going to Alicante if strictly necessary. That way, he could focus on his tasks both as Inquisitor and as Head of the New York Institute. He didn’t mind the double amount of work. It wasn’t as if he did anything else in his life besides working.
Wake up, work, sleep.
Rinse and repeat.
Alec barely even slept in his bedroom. Magnus’ ghost still lingered there, reminding him of his failure.
He either slept in his office or with Jace when the nightmares were too much for both of them, and they were trying to keep the other safe and sane.
A knock on his door dragged him out of his musings, and soon his two siblings were entering, making themselves comfortable on the chairs in front of him.
Alec could see the toll of everything not only on himself and Jace, but also on Izzy. Even though she didn’t lose a lover – her and Simon’s relationship being stronger than ever –, she was too wrapped up in her brothers’ problems and safety to be able to fully relax.
Lightwoods never did anything in halves, worries included.
Alec opened a drawer and took out three envelopes, putting them down on his desk.
One for each of them.
One for a dismissal and two for de-runement.
“Are you sure about that?” Alec asked once more, eyeing his siblings with a serious look. “You know there is no way back from this.”
Jace nodded, also breathing with an exhausted expression.
“Since Clary saw me last week… Even though she doesn’t remember me or anything from before, she… she asked me out.” Jace smiled small, but it was so pure, so happy. “Her mind might not remember, but I feel that her heart does. And I don’t want to miss this chance. I don’t want to lose her again. If we can’t be together in the Shadow World, the mundane world will have to do.”
“You know it will be hard to adjust. You won’t be able to go after demons anymore.” Alec reminded him, but Jace only shrugged.
“If Mom could, I can, too. She already told us she would help. We can stay with her until we find our own paths.”
Alec nodded, then turned to Izzy. She cocked an eyebrow at him, causing Alec to roll his eyes fondly.
“I can understand Jace, but why you? Your boyfriend is still a vampire.”
“I don’t have a good reason to stay without you two.”
“You don’t need to stay here. You could go to the Los Angeles Institute and be with dad and Max.” Alec said softly, trying to reason with his little sister.
“Dad and Max have their own life, I wouldn’t feel comfortable.” Isabelle sighed. “Besides, he may be a Daylighter, but Simon could just as well be a mundane, ignoring the speed, strength and blood diet. He could be by Clary’s side again, and with Jace and Mom also being mundanes, all of us could stay together.”
“You could come with us, Alec.” Jace tried for the umpteenth time, even though he already knew his brother’s answer.
“As a mundane, you will get a part of yourself back, Jace, but not me. I’d prefer to continue living as a Shadowhunter, even if an independent one, and continue doing the work we are supposed to do. Mag–” Alec closed his eyes shut, the word burning his throat like acid and threatening to do the same with his eyes. “He told me about cities and countries where people are still slaughtered by demons, but there aren’t Shadowhunters to help. I want to look for these places to see if I can do something for them.”
“Couldn’t you ask Jia to consider that as some kind of mission? You don’t have to resign just for that, big brother.”
Alec shook his head gravely. “The Clave is already understaffed as it is. They will lose two of their best soldiers,” he looked gently at his siblings. “I can only afford this ‘vacation’ due to some gratification after everything we did in the past. If they deem me fit to work, I’ll be stuck here in the Institute or in Idris.”
Jace and Izzy nodded grimly, and soon silence befell on them, each one lost inside their own head. It was Jace who broke the brief peace.
“This is it, then?” His eyes were on the envelopes, Alec’s and Izzy’s soon doing the same.
But then, Izzy extended her hand to the center of the desk, grinning softly for the first time in a long while.
“Three go in.”
Alec and Jace exchanged glances and smiles, also extending their hands and touching their sister’s.
“Three come out.”
||| Now |||
Magnus hated cemeteries. There wasn’t a place that screamed mortality more than a land full of graves. How many mortal lovers did he bury? How many immortal lovers and friends had their lives cut short and were nothing more than bones in the ground?
With a pang in his heart, he thought of Ragnor.
He thought of his mother. He thought of Raphael.
He thought of Alec.
Once, a long time ago, he’d wondered what would happen when Alec died, hopefully of old age. Would he be allowed at his funeral? Would he never be allowed to visit his beloved’s place of rest since Downworlders weren't allowed inside the City of Bones?
Ms. Goldstairs kindly informed him that although a silver plate with Alec’s name was put there as an homage to the brave Shadowhunter who did a lot for the Shadow World, his true grave was in a mundane cemetery. Not so surprisingly, it was Max’s request since their mother and siblings would have the same fate as mundanes. And since there wasn’t a body to bury, the grave only being symbolic, the Clave allowed it.
After some inquiries, it wasn’t hard to find where the Lightwoods were. With greater melancholy, he saw Isabelle, Jace, Clary, Maryse and Luke’s graves. The curse of being attached to mortals, he thought bitterly.
Then, he saw it.
Alexander Gideon Lightwood
Beloved son and brother
Due to his unknown fate, the year inscribed as his passing was the same as his disappearance. Magnus touched the cool stone with shaking fingers.
Yes, he had been beyond furious, hurt and lashed out after finding out what Alec had done.
But after years, after a number of new lovers who never held a candle to his Shadowhunter, after many long conversations with Catarina, he had to admit he missed Alec.
He knew there was no coming back for them, and yet…
He still loved that selfless asshole who took his heart and never gave it back.
Knowing that he disappeared a long time ago, nobody knowing what really happened, was unnerving. Magnus couldn’t help but think if he never left, maybe Alec wouldn’t…
“Magnus?”
Magnus blinked and looked over his shoulder, his eyes widened slightly.
“Sheldon?”
Simon glared at him for a moment, then broke into a toothy grin.
“I’m glad you’re back.” He was holding a huge bouquet of red roses and purple columbines that he soon put on Isabelle’s grave. “Today is our anniversary. I never miss it.”
Magnus’ eyes softened and he smiled sadly.
“It’s never easy for an immortal. I’m glad you stayed by her side despite it.”
“I couldn’t be anywhere else. She was my greatest love. I would’ve never abandoned her.”
Magnus’ face fell and he quickly averted his eyes, once again looking at Alec’s name on the tomb. Flicking his hand without the usual flair, he conjured a bouquet of white and pink daphnes to give a bit of color to the simple tomb.
“You know…” Simon began slowly, and Magnus glanced up to him. “The only time I saw Jace regretting his de-runement and their broken bond was when he couldn’t tell if Alec was alive or not.” Simon explained while caressing Izzy’s photography in the display. “We never found him to see Izzy or Jace or Max, even Maryse and Robert, one last time. Obviously, by now, he must be no more than dust and shadows.”
“How is that possible? Was he on some kind of mission?”
Simon told Magnus about Alec’s plan to help Downworlders in isolated places and how it went well for the first few months.
“He would always communicate somehow and come back to spend some time with us. He was always worried about his siblings, wanting to know how they were adapting to the mundane life. The last time we heard from him, he was going to some island between Indonesia and Malaysia. He never came back again. He even missed Clary and Jace’s…” Simon shook his head in defeat. “We went there to look for him and even paid a warlock to help us track him, but… It was as if he had evaporated.”
Magnus went silent. Did he dare go there to look up himself? So close to his homeland… Was there another reason for Alec to go there? But then again, going there now would be in vain. After so many years, it would be dumb luck to find a bone or any of Alec’s belongings.
Although…
“Did Alec take his favorite bow?”
“Yes, why?”
Because Alec’s bow was actually Magnus’ bow. And tracking something that he owned was easier than something owned by another person.
Magnus hummed. Maybe after his visit to the Blue Hidden, he could try to track the bow and see if he found evidence, anything of Alec to put an end to this mystery for good and let his soul rest in peace. Maybe it would also bring closure to the Lightwoods still alive.
It might bring closure to him, too.
He hoped so.
~*~
Once, Magnus wished to erase his memories of Alec. After emptying another one of his expensive whiskeys and dropping it on his fluffy carpet, he pondered about it again. This time his father couldn’t stop him, and all that repressed pain would vanish for good.
But then, he would look at his omamori charm – still intact thanks to a little spell – and dismiss the idea. Clutching it against his chest, memories and words and phantom touches of Alec would caress him, and breathing became both easier and harder.
Magnus always tried to fool himself into believing that he had moved on from the Shadowhunter, but he knew it never happened. Sometimes he wondered if things would have been different if he’d had a second chance with Alec. If they had met again. Would he have forgiven Alec? Would seeing him have brought back all the anger again? Would he have punched or kissed him?
“I hate you…” Magnus wiped his mouth, the alcohol still burning in his throat and getting worse as sobs tried to break free. “I hate you, stupid Shadowhunter…”
He curled into himself on the floor and screamed.
I miss you.
Lamps and glasses and bottles and portraits broke when his magic lashed out, shattering everything around.
Come back.
They’d wasted so much time.
Stay.
Why did they fall in love if it wasn’t supposed to be?
Stay with me.
The last thing Magnus felt before losing conscience was the warmth coming from his omamori.
To bring luck and protection.
He welcomed the darkness.
I love you.
~*~
Magnus’ eyes snapped open.
It was already dark outside, but it wasn’t the light – or the lack of it – that dragged him from the oblivion. Even in his hungover state, his magic could feel the fluctuation of the ley lines. Something was changing in the air. It was very subtle, almost imperceptible even for the best magical users, but Magnus had always been too attuned to his city of heart.
The veil was about to rip, allowing a passage to the in-between, to where the Hidden were.
Magnus could feel it in his core like a tender whisper.
They opened their gates. Magnus could enter.
Getting up, he snapped his fingers to put himself together – clothes, hair, makeup – and conjured a hangover potion from his apothecary, cleaning his blood right away and clearing his foggy mind. He also made sure that his eyes weren’t bloodshot anymore and all trails of tears were gone. He took his messenger bag, full of some of his most potent potions, and wore it over his shoulder. Lastly, without paying any mind to it, he put the omamori charm inside his trousers’ pocket.
Steadying himself with a deep breath, he finally opened a portal inside the loft and went into it with only one destination in mind.
The Blue Hidden.
(right from the start you would be) My Light in The Dark
Pairing: Malec
Rating: M
Summary: What if Magnus couldn’t forgive Alec for breaking his heart after the deal with Asmodeus? What if Magnus left New York and never looked back? What if Clary never got her memories back? What if the parabatai duo was so broken for their lost loves, they couldn’t function anymore? What if broken hearts led to broken souls? What if one left and the other disappeared? What if Magnus came back to a New York where Alec Lightwood vanished a century ago? What if What if What if
Or, Second chances might take longer. But they always seem to find their way back to each other.
This fic was created for the Shadowhunters Reverse Bang 2022: Presented by the @malecdiscordserver Art by the lovely @hopesilverheart
Chapter 6 - All I want to do (Is come running home to you)
||| Then |||
“But what you and Magnus have is real. If anyone can make it work, it’s you two.”
“There’s nothing you two can’t work out.”
The years blurred together.
After leaving his loft in New York, Magnus moved to his penthouse in Paris. He spent the first years reacquainting himself, desperately needing to feel his magic and the world around him again. Losing what was so fundamental for him, then regaining it back, left him unbalanced. When he felt strong enough, he moved again.
Magnus never stayed at the same place for long. He refused any new request to become a High Warlock wherever he was, focusing solely on helping Downworlders and mundanes alike. This time, he really tried to keep away from Shadowhunter business and get involved with them.
But one could only keep away for so long. The new generation of Nephilim seemed resolute to make things better and mend their relationship with the Downworld – which was proved true by the signature of the New Accords.
Maybe the Shadow World could finally see some peace.
Magnus also started teaching Madzie. Her and Cat left New York, and with time, Madzie stopped asking about Alec. If it was because Cat talked to her or her own understanding of the whole thing, he didn’t know. He didn’t try to figure it out either. It was a relief to not have a constant reminder of his broken relationship with the Shadowhunter.
Sometimes, Magnus considered putting the omamori charm into his box of memories alongside all the trinkets of past lovers and significant people in his life.
But it never felt right.
Somehow, it didn’t belong there.
No matter how many times he opened the box and tried to put it there, he couldn’t. He wouldn’t.
He didn’t.
He would always banish it back to his New York loft and leave it there as another piece of décor.
That wasn’t the only shadow reminiscent of his past with Alec. During the first decades, Magnus tried his best to hide his heartbreak with parties, a lot of alcohol and sex. At first, only with women. Then, with men who were smaller or slender. Blondies, redheads, colorful hair. Even a bald guy once or twice. Green eyes, dark eyes, brown eyes, red eyes.
Never taller men. Never men with broad shoulders or muscled back.
Never brunettes with hazel eyes.
Then, seventy years later or so, as if a switch was flipped, Magnus became obsessed with them. Especially in times when he started imagining Alec marrying some perfect Shadowhunter and having kids, or Alec killed by a demon somewhere, Magnus would miss him even more, the heartache on a soul-deep level.
He then would look for the first tall, dark and handsome man in clubs, sex dungeons or parties, get really drunk, and proceed to lose himself in another one-night stand.
(Once he accidentally called his partner for the night ‘Alec’, earning a temporary hex from the man.)
Fortunately, before he lost his sanity, a good distraction happened.
Well, not exactly good. But a distraction nonetheless.
It was when the ley lines began to go haywire everywhere, and demons in a true Apocalypse-fashion started to pour out from various hell realms.
Magnus was promptly on the front line to help deal with the situation.
He fought and sealed rifts almost daily for more than ten years.
When things seemed to calm down for a bit and he thought he would finally get a few days of rest, a fire message came to him.
A summons from the Spiral Labyrinth. By the cryptic message, they had some kind of special – and very urgent – mission for him.
Without much choice, he changed his clothes and opened a portal, hoping it wouldn’t take much time and he could finally take a vacation somewhere with a lot of sun and water.
He had a good feeling about it.
||| Now |||
Alec was conflicted.
Magnus was about to leave and go back to the world where his home had once been.
After that kiss, they had spent more and more time together. They talked a lot more, finally discussed the big elephant in the room.
They argued, they cried.
A lot of sparkles flew from both sides.
It was terrifying.
It was cathartic.
It was as if a whole century hadn’t passed between them.
They were different people, but they were also the same. And their feelings for each other had never disappeared, they were only buried.
But then, Magnus’ departure knocked on their door.
And Alec… Alec didn’t know what to do.
He knew that if Magnus crossed that portal, if he left that realm… They would never see each other again.
Alec had lost the love of his life twice. He wouldn’t recover from a third time.
However, he couldn’t leave the Blue Hidden. They needed him to protect their home. As much as things had changed during the last decades, they were still peaceful people who had never held a single weapon in their entire lives. How would they defend themselves against demons?
“They have us.” A voice stated and Alec groaned.
“I’ve already told you to stay away from my mind!”
Yrviss just grinned, making herself comfortable beside him on the large bench at his front porch. Momo sat on his other side, and Magi leaned back against the wooden railing.
“You trained us well, we don’t need you anymore, so shoo.” Yrviss waved her hand, her scales catching the strong afternoon sunlight.
“Wow, I feel so loved right now,” Alec drily pointed out.
“But you are,” Momo poked at his side. “And that’s why you should be with the one who loves you the most.”
“I don’t even know if he wants that.” Alec sighed. Meddling pupils. He should’ve suspected they would quickly figure out what Magnus meant to Alec. Izzy would be proud.
“He carries your memento.” Magi commented nonchalantly, but Alec looked at them with a confused expression. “It looked like an omamori. Red and gold. He would take it out from his pocket, looking at it with a wistful expression, and then put it back.”
“How do you know it’s mine?” Alec squinted an eye, though the blush on his cheeks was unmistakably.
Magi just shrugged. “Energy. Your aura. Love. The omamori was so filled with it, it was vibrating.”
Alec felt his heart give a hard thud.
After all this time…
Could he dare hope?
Magnus said he hadn’t forgiven him yet, but if Alec tried harder, maybe he would one day?
Relationships take effort.
Horribly true.
It was a never-ending process.
But…
He looked at his pupils. His children.
“We promise to go visit you if you come visit us too.” Momo said softly, resting her head on his shoulder.
Yrviss and Magi nodded, smiling softly at him.
They had grown up so well.
“I’m proud of you.”
I love you all.
They knew.
And Alec knew they loved him back just as much.
~*~
Magnus was nervous.
He didn’t have any connections to that place, so why was he hesitant to leave it? The veil would soon be down and the portal to his world was going to open, and he should be relieved.
Yet, it was as if half of him was being left behind.
And well… Who was he trying to fool besides himself?
He didn’t expect to connect so effortlessly with Alec again.
He had never stopped loving him, and it was clear that it was the same for Alec.
But Magnus was still afraid to give it a new chance just to end up being disappointed again. What if they were never meant to work out? He had been hurt so many times by past lovers, and he truly believed it was going to be different with Alec.
It was.
And it could be again if they were just more honest with each other.
If they didn’t try to fix the other when a new issue arose.
If they…
A sudden change in the air caught Magnus’ attention, and soon enough, a portal opened before him.
That was it, then?
His job with the Blue Hidden was done.
He could go home and demand the vacation he so desired. Or maybe go and aid a helpless client. Perhaps close another rift and destroy more demons.
Drink. He definitely needed a strong drink to forget Ale–
“Magnus!”
Magnus swirled around, heart in his throat, and was met with an Alec all dressed up and carrying a big bag.
“What?” He asked in a small voice, not daring to believe his eyes. Magnus had decided to leave quietly, refusing to even say goodbye to Alec in fear to make some stupid decision, like staying. But if he was understanding it right, did Alec want to…?
“Can I…” Alec approached him with slow but decisive steps. His smile was small and shy, but oh… it carried so much tenderness and tentative hope. “Can I come with you?”
“Isn’t this your home? Are you okay with it?” Despite the insecurity his voice clearly carried, Magnus’ heart was stuttering inside his chest.
Was he ready?
After a century, all that resentment and pain and heartbreak… Could it be forgiven?
“My home is you, Magnus. That hasn’t changed either.”
Looking at Alec’s eyes, the sincerity, the desperation, the pure and ever-growing love, Magnus was a gone man.
“Stupid, stupid boy.” Achingly slow, he cupped Alec’s neck, his fingers gently tugging the strands of hair on his nape. Then, almost reverently, Magnus whispered. “My archer boy who never misses.”
Bringing him closer, they sealed their lips and kissed the heartbreak away.
It was a new hello and a I miss you.
A beginning and a continuation.
A rebirth and repetition.
A love you.
Holding each other’s hands, they entered the portal back to their world.
To start their eternity.