[Sebek realising how short humans' lives are on Malleus' wedding day]
MalSebe / Sebek + Silver | Twisted Wonderland 14-08-2024
[#twst one-sided malsebe, ansgt, wedding day, feat. ageing Silver]
plan to write this one for ao3, but if am jotting down notes I figured I might as well share
But Sebek who needs some alone time after all the festivities of the day.
He was here all day, working hard to make sure everything was 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘧𝘦𝘤𝘵 for his liege and his now-wedded partner. It sure had been a day, nearly making him exhausted from running around so much despite Malleus telling him to sit down a little too and enjoy the wedding.
but now he needs some time where he can just be alone, far away from prying eyes that would bother him and frown at the sight of him crying in the cold night.
He can't help but be startled when he hears his name being called out by a familiar voice, spinning around to meet auroral eyes.
He's quick to turn around, quickly drying off any leftover tears as he curses himself for allowing someone to sneak on him like this. Although he supposes that it bein Silver can pass.
"what are you doing here?" Sebek asks, "Shouldn't you be home or something".
"Well, 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘰𝘯𝘦 disappeared before the reception ended fully" Silver replies as he comes to stand beside him, looking up at the starry sky, "I wanted to make sure you were alright".
This has Sebek scoffing, not looking at him. "Why wouldn't I be alright on such a joyous day".
"Not very convincing seeing how you were still crying when I got there, I've never seen your eyes so red before".
"I was crying of happiness for wakasama!" Sebek replied, trying to deny it as much as possible.
Thankfully Silver doesn't add any more to it, simply humming. He can tell his fellow guard isn't really buying it.
"You know, in a couple of decades he'll be all yours again, you should try courting him" Silver ends up saying after they were both silent for a while. This earned him a scandalised gasp from the half-fae.
"SILVER!!" Sebek cannot help but yell out as he turned around, ready to scold him. Yet he suddenly stops when something just as suddenly hits him.
Had Silver always looked this... old?
Hair that had turned a duller grey when Lilia-sama passed was now filling up with white strands.
The corner of his eyes crinkled up when he smiled, some of it staying even when he wasn't. Ageing lines were etched permanently into his skin, showing he wasn't a 17 years old anymore.
Skin that was once smooth and soft looking a little rougher, some faint and faded scars telling stories of battles. Also, when had Silver become the same height as him, having also clearly built more muscles over the years.
Suddenly, it felt like Silver had aged in mere minutes. How old was he again...
"I'm turning 58 this coming spring" Silver said, as if reading his mind. "I told you, a couple of decades will pass you without you noticing" he added, looking back up at the sky.
Sebek was left speechless, staring at the side of Silver's head.
It felt like yesterday he was still being trained by Lilia-sama at Silver's side. That they were still in Night Raven College attending Malleus as he learned about the world. That he was being there as best he could for a grieving Silver when it was finally time for Lilia-sama to pass on.
How could Sebek not realised 40 years had already gone by in the blink of an eye? He felt like he had barely changed at all, only growing a little taller and broader than before.
Being half-fae half-human, he knew he would age faster than the usual nocturnal fae, even more so compared to someone of Malleus lineage. But he hadn't realised how he still seemed ageless when compared to regular humans.
"You know, I kinda wished I could have seen you be truly happy before my time comes" Silver admitted, offering him a little smile.
"I am happy" Sebek replied, sounding more defensive than he would like.
"You know what I mean" Silver sighed a little. They both knew what he meant, but Sebek couldn't see it happening. He wasn't worthy of being by Malleus side like this. Plus, it would only risk the place he had by his side at the moment as his bodyguard, which he is very satisfied with.
"I am sure wakasama will find someone much more worthy when that time comes" Sebek said, to which Silver looked a little sad.
"You are selling yourself short here" he pointed out, "I am sure you could be good for Malleus-sama".
"Be honest with me and yourself, just this once" Silver asked, "There's no one else here but the two of us" he pointed out, "Plus I still own you for being there for me when father passed".
"You were crying in front of me, I couldn't really just walk away" Sebek grumbled, not seeing it as Silver needed him to return the gesture.
"Then just humour this old man and grant him this one wish" Silver offered, a warm hand landing on his shoulder. And Sebek felt like that was a little unfair to ask it like this.
but he supposed he could indulge him, since no one else would hear...
He sighed as he leaned forward against the stone railing, letting his face against his his pristine uniform.
for a moment he stayed quiet, trying to find it in him to let it out with someone else. He had spent so much time trying to hide it (even if it was apparently not as effective as he thought it was). But a little squeeze from Silver's hand he decided to go.
"I wish... I wish I had been the one standing up there with him" he admitted, voice sounding quiet, much quieter than he had probably ever been in his life even when trying to be so. "I am happy for wakasama, I truly am, but.... Something deep in me burns with envy, making me hope I had been the one he chose to be by his side for a good part of his life".
He could feel his eye burning again, tears slipping out without him allowing it, seeping into the dark fabric of his uniform.
"It such a shameful feeling, but I can't stop feeling it and I can't stop feeling all the love I have for him, I wish I was te one he chose, even if for only a decade, or a day".
He hated the way his voice broke at the edge, cracking as he kept rambling quietly, crying.
And Silver stayed close by his side, a reassuring and heavy hand on his shoulder as he didn't speak, in a similar way to what he did all those years ago.
It felt strangely good and freeing, letting it all out like this, finally voicing the yearning and the love he's been pushing down all those years, weaving it inside and strengthening the genuine loyalty and respect he has for his liege, hoping people will only see an overly loyal guard rather than someone with shameful desires and wants from their king.
After a while he they fell quiet again, Silver's hand never leaving his shoulder, unless it was to rub a soothing circle against his back. It only left when Sebek finally straightened back properly, still lingering behind a little.
He took a deep breath, before sighing heavily, looking up at the starry sky.
"thank you..." he whispered, feeling a little better now.
"Don't mention it" Silver smiled as he looked up at the sky too.
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Gonna have to flesh it out better, but that's the gits of it. I've been plagued with the idea of Sebek yearning for Malleus like this, being happy for him on his wedding despite how it breaks him. But also Sebek being hit with the reality that Silver isn't a fae, that he is aging and that in a rather soon future, he'll be dying and won't be a fellow guard along with Sebek.
Now I can go cook in peace knowing I wrote this down somewhere
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