Jul 15
the first time I was day high I ate an entire loaf of bread
seen from China
seen from United States
seen from Russia
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Israel
seen from United Kingdom
seen from United Kingdom
seen from United States
seen from Malaysia
seen from Kuwait
seen from United States
seen from Canada
seen from United States
seen from France
seen from South Korea
seen from Germany
seen from United Kingdom
seen from India
the first time I was day high I ate an entire loaf of bread
if my hair just, looked like this without much effort and I could rely on it looking like this after I’ve stopped looking at it…I’m afraid I would become more powerful than you are ready for and more insufferable than you can imagine
once I get rich enough that I can afford very small cosmetic procedures it’s over for y’all
oh god the sponsor of this trip is brought to you by a desire to pretend my friendly lookin ass with a 13 year old boy’s voice actually has the voice of cruella de’vill from One Hundred and One Dalmatians
see? what if, like, hermione spoke like cruella d’evill, that would be crazy, she looks so nice like the approachable girl you can trust at the party and then see me later at the kickback, but with cruella d’evill’s voice, she’s not invited to anything anymore
I like cherries because they taste very good and I literally feel my adrenaline go up when I eat them because there’s a very real risk I will break the shit out of my teeth
where did this come from? what psycho at the Laffy Taffy factory (arguably THE chocolate factory of Charlie fame) dropped some crunchy shit into the taffy and said “yeah that’s our next move, keep em guessing”
I know logically they just cooked the sugar longer and this is essentially just white chocolate aka cheap shit, but…it’s so good. soooo fuckin sweet, but oh my god
unrelated to Mama Time but definitely related to Mama Time, why do I just assume I have an ugly personality despite only ever being told the opposite? like no one has told me I actually suck to be around, so why do I feel like everyone thinks it?
in fact, all of my past friendships (and relationships, if they even count as that, they were really just closer friendships) have ended because I’m like, a cool and great and awesome girl.
Like I had a roommate who randomly started hating me because a guy she had a crush on liked me, and like, shouted at me in our dining nook about how good and funny my personality is, and she could never measure up.
My high school boyfriend/bestfriend broke up with me because I was “actually too close to him” and also he was gay so it double wasn’t my fault.
after that I got heartbroken by TWO GINGERS…TWO OF THEM!
The first one broke it off because although he said I was funny AND hot, I was clearly “going through a lot emotionally” (because my parents were getting divorced after 25 years) and was reportedly “incredibly clingy” and “sorta pathetic.” also lowkey kinda felt fucked up by him? I came over and we played Strip Mariokart but instead of the races like I thought, it was the balloon VS. mode, that I am really bad at. so I lost a lot and stripped down naked in his living room under a blanket. he then told me I shouldn’t have, that I didn’t need to do that to make someone like me, that my personality was enough. I don’t remember what I said in response, but I should have told him to fuck off with that, that I knew my personality was enough, I was just trying something and I guess it didn’t work. I think that experience still sticks with me a little bit, like, it was definitely psychosexual trauma I’m realizing.
ANYWAY 2nd ginger takes my virginity because of my great personality. Says I’m hot AND funny. We listen to the Les Mis soundtrack in bed. I figure out, once and for all, how to give really good blowjobs, and I haven’t changed a thing about how I do it since. We watch Avatar, a movie I’m sort of afraid to watch again for some reason despite having seen the sequels 10 years later. Anyway, it’s great, except he goes home to Philly for Christmas, and ghosts me for weeks, until I literally moved out of Florida and back home. (which is decidedly not Philly) It’s when I text him that I’m leaving the state and like, never coming back, that he admits he cheated on me, but assured me it wasn’t my personality, it was that his ex in Philly is supremely hot…and the history they have and all that, whatever.
I’ll dish more some other Mama Time…for now I need to drink 32 more oz of water and maybe just watch porn or something lmao