Start Again // New Year’s Chatzy // Max & Mia (ft. Izzy, Shadow, & Sparkles)
tl;dr: fireworks are not a pleasant time for two dogs, a small child, and a man who spent the last 20 years of his life fighting for survival are concerned. this is how they deal with it.
contains: fear of fireworks, flashbacks, the singing of childhood songs, talk of child death
ft. @mamamiajones
Max already has a bundle of blankets and likewise sound-muffling thick things bundled up on the couch. He'd completely forgotten about the fireworks at certain times of year thing that used to happen before the world went to shit. This...could've been very bad. Thankfully, Mia's given him an early warning, allowing for enough time to formulate a plan, and Shadow sits atop the pile of blankets as Max waits for the twosome to arrive.
Mia knew how much Izzy hated fireworks, and wasn't sure how their new puppy would respond, so she decided that spending the evening with Max would calm everyone's nerves at least a little bit. She holds Izzys hand, Sparkles trotting ahead of them unitedly.
Izzy being the excited five year old she is, with her favorite stuffed animal clutched to her chest, tears her hand from her mother and knocks on Maxes door
Max looks up as Shadow springs from the pile of blankets and bounds towards the door, barking excitedly. It takes a little longer for Max to get there, y'know, what with the aching pulls and tightness of his bones and muscles and general existence, but he gets there, and he opens the door to let them in. Steps back. Nods in greeting. Shadow's doing the friendly thing more than enough without him saying words anyway. Max smiles a little down at the dog, fondly.
Izzy wastes no time rushing to Shadow and petting her. Adults were very uninteresting when there were dogs.
Mia smiles fondly at Izzy before looking up at Max "thank you for inviting us over.."
Max shakes his head. "-- 'Salright. Probably easier this way, yeah?" He remembers what it was like, having a kid who's scared of something. He swallows a little, averting his gaze, and closes the door behind the lil' group.
Mia nods in agreement, smiling sadly. It's been her and Izzy for so long she doesn't know what it's like to have help that isn't in the form of her mother judging every choice. "I though it would distract her a little bit as well."
Max lets out a little 'hm' noise of agreement. Falls silent. Then, rubs a hand at the back of his neck and exhales as Shadow bounds around. "...Thanks. Y'know. For the warning."
Mia smiles softly at him. "It's no problem."
Max clears his throat, honestly...not really sure what to do with himself, aside from stand. He does somewhat hope he won't have to stay standing for much longer, though. There's seating for a reason. "D'you...want anything? Drink or...a blanket?"
Mia nods. "A blanket would be nice, and it looks like Sparkles has claimed hers already." She laughs, heading towards the small dog, kneeling down and petting her.
Max goes over to the couch, where all the blankets are, and gestures for Mia to make her selection while he lowers himself to the ground. Shadow immediately trots over to his side.
Mia takes a fluffier looking blanket, making herself at home while Sparkles nudges her nose at Max.
Izzy runs over to the couple, quickly getting under a blanket and looking hopefully at the two dogs
Max absently pets Sparkles as Shadow makes herself at home atop Izzy's blanket, groaning a little as he reaches to grasp a blanket for himself, which he then pulls around his shoulders. An inhale. An exhale.
Mia leans against the couch, sighing contently as she looks over at the other two. "They should be starting soon, but they won't be clustered together for a little while yet."
Max can't help but grumble, however, rubbing again at the back of his neck. "Some warning'd still be nice..."
Mia frowns slightly, wishing she could help more. "Some people start shooting them off early, i'm not sure what they're going to be doing here."
Max groans. "Why the...crap do they...why...?"
Mia shrugs "they think it's fun, it's worse when you're not in city limits though."
Max shakes his head. "No respect for dogs."
Mia nods. "It's awful for them.
Max exhales, holding his hand out towards Shadow, who comes over and snuggles next to him.
Mia smiles slightly, watching Sparkles nudge at Izzys hand for pets. Hearing the first firework go off, she immediately looks betwen Max and Izzy
Izzy jumps at the firework, letting out a cry before burying herself under the blanket, hiding her head
Max 's eyes widen and his breath stops for a moment at the first firework, and his arm automatically encircles Shadow, who trembles and moves closer. He forces himself to breathe, shaking his head, frowning.
Mia wastes no time scooping Izzy into her arms, sliding closer to Max as she takes Izzys spot. Sparkles curls against Shadow, whimpering. She looks over at Max, not knowing how to help him - she's sure that cradling him like she does Izzy wouldn't work
Max inhales, and exhales, and feels his shoulders tremble, and he inhales again, and he doesn't know if the fireworks are continuing because he's mostly hearing screaming right now, but he exhales and he shifts, holding his arm out to the others, remembering something about groups being easier as Shadow snugs into his side, squishing between him and Sparkles.
Mia shuffles closer, wrapping her hand in Max's and leaning her head against his shoulder. She hums softly, knowing it'll calm down Izzy, and hoping it helps him to some degree.
Izzy reaches out to pet Shadow, sniffling as fire works go off every couple of minutes
Max does not note the humming of Mia, but does recall unbidden, from the recesses of memories he'd all but forgotten he had, a similar situation. And he clears his throat, holding everybody (including dogs) that he could close before slowly starting out, "The...wheels on the bus...go round and round..."
Izzy retreats into an old habit of hers, sucking her thumb as she uses her free hand to pet one of the dogs, not caring which one. She perks up slightly as Max sings, pulling her thumb out of her mouth. "The wheels on the bus go round and round All 'round the town!"
Mia smiles softly, looking down at Izzy, absentmindedly petting Shadow as the two sing. She countinues to hum the beat.
Max exhales, holding onto the others, even as the dogs tremble slightly, though his lip quirks upward slightly at Izzy's joining in. He continues, still low, still husky, just 'cause, y'know, that was his voice, "The wheels on the bus go round and round...round and round...round and round..."
Izzy continues to sing along with Max, slowly sliding off of Mia's lap to sit on Max's, curling against his right side. She shows him the little motions that Mia has taught him, but can't hide the yawn that escapes her.
Max 's breath catches a little, but after the hesitation, he continues, all the screams and worries of fireworks leaving his head, replaced by one thing. Sprog. His eyes shine as he continues, and he can't look at Izzy. If he does he'll cry.
Izzy 's voice trails off as she resigns to sleep, snuggling deeper against Max's chest, her eyes falling shut
Mia looks up at Max, frowning softly. She whispers, hand squeezing his softly "you alright?"
Max 's resolve breaks almost as soon as Mia asks that question, and the tears fall. He doesn't say anything. He just cries for Sprog for the first time since it had happened. Shadow twitches against him, still trembling from the fireworks.
Mia pulls her hands from his, instead wrapping her arms around him, holding him, and izzy and the dogs close to her. She lets him cry, humming softly again.
Max lets this happen, cradling Izzy to his chest as Mia holds the whole bundle of living things. He weeps, simple and quiet, until a particularly loud bang, at which point his shoulders tense for a moment, and when the tension seeps from the aching muscles, he's no longer actively weeping, though some tears may yet drip from his eyes. He can scarcely believe the words are coming out, hoarse and low and quiet, "I...had a son."
Mia would smile at the sight of Max holding Izzy close, if it weren't for how heart breaking the sigh had become. She watches him tense up, and takes a deep breath. She barely hears him, but she hears enough and her eyes widened. "What happened?"
Max shakes his head, dropping his free hand to smooth along Shadow's back. "...Died." Wasn't fast enough. Wasn't smart enough. Wasn't enough to save his son.
Mia 's heart breaks a little bit more when Max tells her what happened to his son. She can't imagine what would happen to her if Izzy died - she probably wouldn't survive. "I'm sorry." Her voice is a whisper as she trails off, not wanting to push him any farther.
Max exhales. She doesn't need to apologise. He flinches slightly at a firework, but it doesn't go further than that and he shakes his head. "'Sa long time ago..." It doesn't make it easier. But...that's what people say, right?
Mia rubs his arm, frowning as she watches him. "Doesn't make me any less sorry that you lost him."
Max shakes his head at her words. He doesn't need sympathy; it was the Wasteland. People died. People got lost. It was basically a guarantee that they'd lose their lives if they got too close to him. It was his own fault. So he doesn't deserve her sympathy. "...Don't have to be."
Mia shakes her head right back at him, she doesn't know what he's been through, but she knows that he didn't deserve the loss of his son "But I am."
Max doesn't look at her. He doesn't look at the tiny human cradled against his chest either. He just...exhales. "...Maybe...she'd be better lying down..."
Mia frowns softly but pulls away and stands up, nodding in agreement to his suggestion. "I.. can take her home if you'd prefer..."
Max 's eyebrows pull together a little as he absently pushes his thumb in a circle against Izzy's shoulder. "...Might be more fireworks. ...Best not to be out if there are. I...have a spare room if you'd both like to...it's up to you."
Mia smiles softly. "that'd be nice, thank you. I wouldn't want to leave you alone with more fireworks anyways." She swallows, kneeling down and petting the Sparkles for a moment before looking back up at Max. "Are you alright to carry her? If I pick her up she might wake up."
Max shakes his head to indicate that she doesn't have to thank him for this, as Shadow curls up against Sparkles. He pauses, making a quiet thinking noise, pondering his capabilities in this particular instance. Then he nods. "I can carry her." He shifts, slowly, so that one arm's holding her to him, and will continue to be holding her to him as stably as possible, and moves his other to the seat of the couch for leverage. Standing might be a little trickier, though, and he frowns, moving his good leg to make it easier to pry himself off the ground.
Mia smiles at the two dogs, opening her mouth to say thank you to Max for carrying Izzy but stopping herself. He didn't seem to like being thanked. She moves back to her feet, watching him shift. Seeing him struggle she moves to his left side, carefully wrapping her arm around his waist in an effort to help him up.
Max exhales, and lets out a small, grateful noise, allowing her to help him up and painstakingly making his way up to his feet, whereupon he does not let go of either Mia or Izzy. Instead, he adjusts his standing position, shifting his bum leg to make sure the brace will still hold, waiting until he's certain before he lets go of Mia. "Alright. ...Thanks." He shifts his arms so that he's cradling Izzy in an even more sturdy manner before he gestures towards the door of the spare room.
Mia keeps a careful hold on him as he gets to his feet. She looks up at him as he adjusts, a small smile on her lips as she looks down at Izzy, still peacefully asleep in Max's arms. She grins when he lets go and thanks her "no need to thank me." She teases him lightly before heading towards the spare room and opening the door for him to carry Izzy through.
Max does just that, and carries Izzy through into the spare room as she slumbers against his chest. He does not, however deposit her in the bed, as the sheets are in the way, but he does gently rock the small human. "D'you mind...with the sheets?"
Mia lets the door go, making sure it doesn't slam against the wood before following Max. She pulls the sheets back, chuckling softly as Sparkles pads sleepily into the room. "Do you mind Sparkles sleeping on the bed with her?"
Max shakes his head, noting the advent of Sparkles and not particularly minding if she wants to join her human. "Dogs're good." As he speaks, he deposits Izzy in the middle of the bed, head on the pillow and ready for her mum to tuck her in. Max pats the bed in Sparkles' line of sight, indicating that she can hop on if she likes.
Mia smiles thankfully at Max before pulling the sheets up and tucking Izzy in. Sparkles happily jumps up on the bed, sniffing at Max before making her way to Izzy and settling down against her side, watching her. Mia leans down, pressing a kiss to Izzys head. "Good night baby girl, have good dreams."
Max sighs, turning away while Mia tucks Izzy in and kisses her goodnight, limping back to the door where he waits. "Does she need a light?"
Mia shakes her head as she gets off of the bed, giving Sparkles one last pat. "No, she'll be okay, she's never liked having them on." She walks back over to Max, looking up at him.
Max nods. "'Alright, then." He clears his throat, shaking his head a little to dislodge brain things, and blinks a bit, frowning as he moves away, heading back to the couch, which he sits upon, Shadow immediately smushing herself onto it against his side.
Mia follows Max slowly, petting Shadow as she passes them. She sits on Max's other side, not to close yet. She pulls her legs under herself before checking the time. "It's almost midnight, they'll be bad for a few minutes after that..."
Max exhales in response, putting his arm around Shadow as he tips his head back against the couch. "...Great..."
Mia frowns, keeping an eye on her watch. Slowly, she shifts closer. As the seconds tick closer to midnight she starts counting, keeping her voice soft. "10... 9... 8... 7... 5... 4..." Towards the last couple seconds she wraps her hand in his, leaning against him. "3... 2... 1..." And then the fireworks go off.
Max is okay with the closeness, as she counts down to the fireworks, and while she counts down, his hand in hers is loose. With the first fireworks, however, he's gripping her hand, all the breath leaving his lungs as his eyes fly open. Shadow presses closer into his side, hiding her face behind him, but all he can hear is screaming, all he can feel is death, and he knows where he is, knows damn well where he is, but that doesn't stop the icy chill down his spine when the bang of the fireworks hits too close to home, and he forces himself to breathe, squeezes his eyes shut, puts his head back, and holds himself still, so still his shoulders tremble.
Mia doesn't know how to help him, she knows his problem with the fireworks clearly aren't the same as they are with Izzy. And so, she lays her head against his shoulder, pressing the rest of her side against him. Not knowing if it would help she starts humming, keeping her gaze on him
Max feels her against him, and keeps his eyes shut, flinching just the tiniest bit with every firework that bangs in the sky. His toes curl, he knows he needs to run, knows he needs to defend himself, knows he needs to move, but at the same time, he knows they're only fireworks, intended for celebration. Still, the fireworks are explosions in his mind, and hails of gunfire, and Bad Things that Hurt People, and he holds onto Mia's hand, reminding himself that this is inside, this is away, this is safe.
Mia keeps her grip on his hand, trying to think of ways to help him, if she could do much more than she already was. Spotting the blankets left on the ground she leaned down to grab one, placing it over both of their laps before puling it up slightly.
Max starts a little in surprise at the sudden pressure on his lap, opening his eyes to see what the change is and swallowing a little at the sight of a blanket before accepting it and tipping his head back again to close his eyes. If he shuts his eyes it'll be less jarring when the sight of people he's failed appears, a sentiment which is generally correct, including now, but there's something soft covering him, so he can do it, he thinks, swallowing again as he briefly squeezes Mia's hand in gratitude.
Mia watches Max carefully, hoping she hasn't made a mistake by putting the blanket over him. She smiles a little when she notices that it seems to help, if only slightly. She squeezes his hand in return, glancing at Shadow, smiling a bit more seeing the dog curled up against her owner. She doesn't know what more to do, if there is even anything else she can do, so she settles for silence, biding the time until the fireworks die out.
Max waits.
Mia lets out a breath she doesn't know she's been holding when it's silent for a solid minute. Softly, she speaks, looking up at him. "They're done."
Max doesn't move immediately. But then, slowly, he detenses, first the shoulders, then the elbows, then his hands, the left slower than the right. He makes a conscious effort to unclench his jaw. And then he opens his eyes, his hand relaxing around Mia's. He knows if he speaks, it'll come out strangled, so instead he settles for a quiet 'hm'.
Mia let's him relax in quite, no longer humming or trying to speak, she just watches him and Shadow. She doesn't let go of his hand just yet, letting him set the pace for what he needed on his own
Max exhales as the noise in his head fades to its usual levels, his gaze remaining firmly upon the ceiling. He's thirsty, he notes, but not overly so, so nothing needs to be done about that. But the encounter has led to no further injury, so he strokes Shadow's fur as she slowly begins to settle. "...Hm."
Mia sits, still allowing him time to do what he needs to do
Max lets out another 'hm', this one slightly stronger. "...Sorry. Hm."
Mia shakes her head as he apologizes. "No need to be sorry, take your time."
Max swallows, and turns his gaze on Shadow, extracting his hand from Mia's so he can massage his knee beneath the brace. "...You...okay?"
Mia nods. "I'm fine, how're you feeling?" dumb question.
Max lets out an exhale through his nose that could almost be a laugh. "Never better."
Mia blushes, smiling sheepishly at him. "That was a stupid question, huh?"
Max shakes his head, continuing to massage his knee as he strokes Shadow. "Heard stupider. ...You're...okay."
Mia covers a yawn with her hand. She drops her hand back down to her lap, looking back at him. "I'm glad you don't think i'm completely stupid for that question then."
Max clears his throat, noticing the yawn but not saying anything. Or, well, not immediately. "'Sa...nice thought. You're okay. ...Are you...? Okay?"
Mia nods at his question. "I'm fine, just a little tired. It's okay though, I want to make sure you're okay first."
Max leans forward at that, rubbing at the back of his neck as his bones groan at the shift, Max resting his elbow on his thigh before turning his head so he can shoot a tired, slightly wry expression towards her. "Don't worry about it. Some things you can't make okay. If you're tired...you can rest. It's okay."
Mia watches him, curling up even further against the couch cushion. "That's true, but doesn't stop me from wishing I could make them okay." She shakes her head "are you going to be alright if I fall asleep?"
Max reaches down and picks a blanket off the floor, wordlessly draping it over her with a nod, before he reaches out and pushes the button on the TV remote that'll turn it on, already at a nature documentary, hitting mute and turning on the subtitles.
Mia smiles as he places the blanket over her. She wraps it around her, yawning. She starts drifting off almost as soon as she closes her eyes. Shifting to get comfortable, her head rests on his right leg after a while.
Max shifts as she shifts, putting his hand upon her shoulder as she curls up against him. He says nothing. But with Shadow on one side and a warm human on the other, he inhales, and he exhales, letting himself fall into the nature documentary.
Mia passes out rather quickly, safe and calm as she lays curled up against Max.
Max does not.
