Jul 21, 2019
As an update I’ve been seeking help from a therapist and now take pills for my depression. At the same time I’m making it a goal to change my art style like how I said before. This was something that I made as to prove it.
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As an update I’ve been seeking help from a therapist and now take pills for my depression. At the same time I’m making it a goal to change my art style like how I said before. This was something that I made as to prove it.
Shima Tetsuo art by me from Akira.
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The pain and agony I suffered through making this... I was and am still feeling very low and want nothing more than to leave earth through suicide and I just want nothing to do with anything. I’ve been hurt and broken and can’t get it out to anyone and I just felt it would be best to take my pen and draw out my feelings. Sure, it didn’t do the job 100% but it got some stress and pain off my mind. Of course, my mental health has not been the best in months to years. I broke down way too many times while making this and once I finished it, I completely lost it and cracked like I never had before in my life. I literally wake up everyday wanting to die and hope that I’ll get killed one way or another. I’ve tried to get help, but it never works. Talking to others just makes it worse because I’d just be adding them into the problem… I hate this feeling… I hate existing like this… I honestly just want to die… and I think I might… I honestly don’t want to continue on this road… if there’s another way, this might be it...