Hello earth dwellers. For the first time in weeks I have crawled out of my pit. Only briefly will I stay on the surface but I urgently need to update you all. My skin has evolved into a new form of material that I have not encountered before but I believe it is commonly named “dry”. My hair is now beyond the point of no return and recoils at the sight of water. Luckily, water does not exist in the pit that I reside in, the only liquid being mango Rubicon. The only device keeping me alive is my laptop which I can use to watch netflix 24/7, ignoring the looming demon that I have lovingly named “School”. Oh no, I can sense School coming. I must crawl back to my pit before it consumes my mortal flesh. I doubt it would want my flesh anymore but, there is a possibility. That was me, reporting about my not-life. Bye I guess.
~ Egg (McMuffin)
