withering disgrace

they/she

[abyssaldroid]

me searching for an old well via email:

I hope this email finds you, well

[abyssaldroid]

series about nonbinary people fighting sentient language in a western setting, calling it Thems Fighting Words

[sandmandaddy69]

[abyssaldroid]

do you put crisps into your sandwiches or are you not a cool person

[abyssaldroid]

please stop saying this or that 'wins the internet', you can't win on the internet you can also lose here, we're all losers

[vervaincircle-deactivated202411]

slapping this badge on my blog

[abyssaldroid]

i used to hate the rigid performativity of emails but now i lean into the pageantry — here have my regards, they are the warmest, I have warmed these regards with mine own flesh and they are yours dearest rando, sometimes they are my kindest regards, but those are cold because i've used the warmth for my wishes instead, you don't want my cold wishes, no, those are fantasies of a most frigid nature, god bless

[boatgrave-deactivated20250901]

[mysteryteacup]

*Scrolls past*

*reluctant sigh*

*scrolls back up*

*rebogs*

[failfox]

Babe wake up, new folding ideas video dropped

[beggars-opera]

Just lost a few braincells reading an nyt article about gen z "treat culture" and I can't even fathom that this is a thing. We're living in a dystopian hellscape where someone spending $5 a week on a cookie is considered a wasteful brat because they should have just gone for a nice free walk instead and saved the $250 a year that roughly equals four days' rent. That's why these ungrateful kids can't buy a house, naturally.

I am ALL for free treats, like hiking or reading in the park. But at some point you can't budget your way out of poverty, and you will literally go mad if you deny yourself basic pleasures that are literally all around you. They even lamented that little treats could snowball into doing something absolutely unforgivable like learning how to play the guitar or buying concert tickets.

At what point do we just start saying out loud that living an enjoyable and fulfilling life is now only acceptable at a 100k+ salary, and if you're one of the millions of people unlucky enough not to be in that category you should just eat dirt and be grateful?

[demonprincex]

it's literally millennial avocado toast bullshit all over again, but with nary a pause in between them.

[abyssaldroid]

Less hypocrisy more hypocrispy, it's like hypocrisy but with a better texture I don't fucking know jokes are hard

[abyssaldroid]

I highly suspected I wouldn't enjoy armored core 6: fires of mango rubicon but I decided to try armoured core 6: flies of mango rubicon anyway and I was right that I didn't enjoy armoured core 6: fridges full of mango rubicon the joke is there is a drink called mango rubicon I've put it in the name of the game I'm sorry there are no layers to this joke

[abyssaldroid]

yeah it's not the biggest or most pressing problem in the world right now but why do they send you twenty emails when you buy one thing - an email for each step in the process including when your delivery driver finally picks out a particularly elusive bogey, I don't need the digital clutter fuck you

[longowatchrepair]

[abyssaldroid]

Once again I am blighted with the inscrutable urge to play Max Payne 3. It's like a curse -- every few years I need to go back. I can't explain it. I'm sick with a disease.

[planetarytransformation]

so many of the transfems i know spent their time pre-transition performing a kind of lifelong exercise in self-deprivation, the goal of which was to find out exactly how little a person needed to live. they starved themselves, dressed carelessly, shunned friends, and hollowed themselves out so as not to be burdens on anyone but themselves.

i see it now, too, in the girls around me. i'll ask if they want care – a home-cooked meal, relaxed company, sex without the expectation of reciprocation – and they say no, no, thank you, i don't need it; what would you like, what do you want, because in their head they're still doing that awful calculus, still training themselves to disappear in the eyes of the people around them.

i don't think i'd have died without transition – not in the conventional sense, at least – but to take that leap, i had to stop thinking of myself as a human experiment in fuel-efficient living and start nurturing the anemic, atrophied flame of desire in my heart. i had to learn to eat well, to exercise, to style myself beautiful, but harder than that, i had to learn to ask the people around me to work on my behalf in order to enrich my life and give me the things i wanted.

and i did it; i learned. and it was agony, but courage is a muscle you can train, and every day i get better at accepting gifts with the hungry gratitude i never learned in my years and years as a sad, scared, lonely boy.

so be patient with the trans girls in your life. better than that: be proactive, attentive, generous; be forceful, if you have to, and learn to distinguish real discomfort from the terrified reflex of self-denial that so many of us once learned to rely on.

and if you are so lucky as to love a trans girl, you must insist upon her. you must insist upon her happiness, her comfort, her pleasure, and her rest, because she may still not yet know how to make those demands for herself. if you can devote any amount of energy to becoming an engine that nurtures the flame of even a single tgirl then there is a place for you in trans heaven, which as far as i'm concerned is the only one worth going to

[abyssaldroid]

Why are all classical pieces called something like Rigatoni al Forno IV in Ursa Minor for Ten Bassinets?

[pocketss]

remove brain