So technically this was an English assignment I got, but I ended writing it about the most recent chapter of MelancholyMango’s Phanfic “Misfit” (10/10 reccomend to anyone who want some quality angst). I don’t really write... like ever, so I’m not expecting any notes or anything. Honestly the only reason I’m making this as a post is because i couldn’t fit it all in a message/ask/whatever they’re called. @mangothatismelancholy, i dedicate this (kinda shitty (ok really shitty)) English assignment to you. Thank you for all your writing, I hope this at least kind of gets across the joy you and your work brings me. Love you! -Gemma
Fresh out of the shower, I pull on an oversized t-shirt and clamber onto my bed. Pepper is curled up at my feet, her ears and tail twitching even as she sleeps. I take a moment to smooth our her fur, then I open up my laptop. The soft hum of the computer fan is the only noise in an otherwise silent room. I pull my comforter up around me, settling into a familiar routine. The google chrome icon bounces for a couple seconds before opening a blank tab. My fingers automatically type in the name of a familiar website, and I readjust my glasses as Tumblr loads. Humming, I mindlessly scroll through endless photosets and textposts, liking some things and reblogging others. My eyes stop as I see a familiar icon. My favorite fanfic writer just replied to an excited fan who was raving about the newest chapter of one of the author’s most popular works. I barely even register the movement of my fingers quickly opening a new tab and typing in the platform that the author’s work is published on. As soon as the site is loaded, I look to the notifications button. Sure enough, there’s a small number one in the corner of the box. I click on the button, and my heart skips a beat as I see the message I was hoping for, “MelancholyMango updated Misfit”. I scramble to click on the notice, letting out an embarrassing squeal of excitement as the story’s most recent chapter lights up the screen. The next couple of hours are spent riding a roller coaster of emotions as I alternate between screaming in frustration and almost sobbing. The author had warned us about the upcoming chapter being an angsty one, but I’m afraid that that didn’t prepare me enough for the reality of the heartbreaking (and heart-breakingly beautiful) writing. Her writing invokes some of my most intense feelings, be it joy, frustration, or pain. Most of the time it’s the latter two, but I love her for it. I’m a bit of a masochist when it comes to fanfiction, because the more it hurts my heart early on, the happier I feel later when it’s all resolved. I breathe in deeply, relishing the raw, unadulterated emotions I’m experiencing, the pure excitement at the thought of the next chapter and when the story might update again. Slowly, I close my laptop, shutting my eyes as I attempt to regulate my breathing. When I open them again, my breathing having steadied, I smile. MelancholyMango has done it again, torn my heart apart in a slow, excruciating way, only to have me begging for her to continue, elated by the pain. She’s got me (and 9.3 thousand other people) wrapped around her finger, and we love it. Thank you Kali
