Debatable HDs: The Situation vs. Pauly D
I know it's been a while since I've posted. I've been going on trips and hanging out with my friends, since it's summer! Also, no one reads this . Also, I've realized that the Hot Douche is a rare specimen and I'm running out of material. So send me your douches!
Last night I was arguing with my friend Cristin on whether or not The Situation from Jersey shore qualifies as HD material. Obviously the "douche" part is not what we are debating here. I may be wrong, but I think she even described him as "crispy", which is awesome and hilarious. Then we discussed Pauly D, whom some find greasy enough to butter their bread, if you know what I mean. I'm talking about sex.
If you don't watch "Jersey Shore", I don't know what you are doing with your life. You should probably just kill yourself. I KNOW people like this IRL and while their personal fashion choices may be mad questionable, at least they are fun. From what I care to research, I believe The Situation (above left) used to be a stripper before the show. And Pauly D is an aspiring DJ whose musical stylings I'm pretty sure you can predict without having heard one song played by his Lego man haired ass. What's up with that flat-top? I see 8 years behind the style curve Mexican dudes on the subway with that same 'do. Pauly, you should know that not enough time has passed for your hair to be retro or even ironic. And you know that gelled shit flakes all over the place!
(I had to edit this because at some point in my stupid, meaningless life, I would have boned The Situation and contracted god knows what. I must have been bonging it way hard beforehand. Please don't judge me by that, because I was obviously not sober.)
I actually took the "delete" key to my previous statement about being so low on self-esteem that I would actually be in the same room alone with The Situation. That's how embarrassed I am about ever allowing that dark thought to knock on my brain door. HOWEVER, it is worth mentioning that after drinking the way these people drink, you're gonna need something to sober you up, and that might mean having to withstand a shrunken steroid dick to quench your thirst for some cheap meaningless sex with some shaved gorilla. Pickins is slim down the shore! I mean if you put yourself in that situation, you'll have to deal with the available chodal repercussions. I think by now, you know who I'd pick as the winner of this debate. But your nasty ass might be pointing you in a different douchey direction.