When life gives you lemons
A dear friend passed away almost a fortnight ago. It was unexpected. Days on and I’m still replaying the moment I found out over and over again in my head. Am I sure I wasn’t reading my phone while I was sleeping, it was some kind of bad dream, right? As well as constantly remembering that it did indeed happen, I continuously think about the last time I saw him. Did I give him a hug when I left? I’m sure I did, I always did. But the thing plaguing me the most is thinking about him before he died, being all alone in his home, deciding that he was so unhappy that he didn’t want to go on. The unhappiness must have been all-consuming and beyond my comprehension.
Thankfully though, with time has also come some common sense and perspective. Those around him helped in what way they could. After so much unhappiness there is some comfort in knowing that he has now, no doubt, found peace. And importantly I can now recall positive memories and feelings. The one that stands out the most is the proud-as-punch look he would give me when he walked into the office at the start of a work day and I happened to notice one of the brand new shirts or ties he was wearing. On one particular morning he debuted a new ensemble which I instantly loved - it was a lemon-coloured shirt, a colour he would never normally wear, and he matched it with a gold-striped tie. His lemon shirt brought a delightful pop of colour into the office. Every day from then on, whenever he wore the lemon shirt he would wait for me to comment on it before he could get on with his day. And whenever he would wear it I would refer to him for the whole day as “Lemon”. It was a silly little thing we both enjoyed immensely. My Lemon. Gone too soon.
This morning on the news I heard about Beyond Blue’s new campaign. And I was stoked. (You can read about it and watch one of their ads here: http://www.theage.com.au/victoria/meet-davo-the-face-of-beyondblues-focus-on-blue-collar-mens-mental-health-20150621-ghsfv8.html) While they have used the “larrikin tradie Davo” to front the campaign and target a certain demographic, the underlying message is simple - men need to talk. Whether they may be dealing with depression, anxiety, mental health, drugs, alcohol problems, whatever it is - men need to talk. But it’s not just up to men. It’s all of us. We all need to talk. There is nothing weak or shameful or lame about going through tough times. It happens to so many of us. And maybe, with a bit more awareness and discussion, it might also bring more hope. Please, everyone - chat, babble, laugh, cry, whisper, shout, or however you need to do it - for the love of God, talk!!
Life gave me my Lemon. And now I’m making lemonade. RIP MKS x