[cristinalaria]

“Five things I learnt from doing a reno” - by a thirty-something girl with no prior renovation experience

I've just finished my first ever renovation - a total bathroom renovation, including separate toilet. And you could say I've learnt a thing or two. Or ten... lots and lots of things learnt.

When talk of a reno started, one of my friends said to me, "But you're more the sort of person that I can imagine just giving out the money and not having anything to do with it". And he was right, no offence taken. I am excellent at paying for things and not exactly a handy-woman. But with an overseas trip later this year and a tight budget, I had no choice but to learn how to do things other than giving out money. So I ditched the idea of a builder and managed the project myself, plus plastered, caulked, painted, cleaned and did many, many more things. And the result? Well after five weeks, to be honest, I could not be happier!

So here are the top 5 things I learnt, from a thirty-something girl with no prior renovation experience (and who also never watches reality TV reno shows):

1. Have a mentor or someone who's been through it before, who you can ring and ask all your stupid questions to. If a mentor is not available, Google is great. (For example, old mate Google taught me it's "caulking" not "corking". This was after half an hour of me typing, "What is corking" and only getting tutorials for removing corks from wine bottles.)

2. If you need something, just go straight to Bunnings. Once upon a time, Bunnings was only a place where I bought plants and a cheap snag in my pre-coeliac days. Now it's one of my favourite places to visit and I never thought I could have so much fun wondering the aisles looking at skirting boards. The other day I ever helped an old man find a wall hook (FYI - it’s aisle 13 at the Bunnings in Mentone).

3. When choosing tiles, cabinetry, taps, etc. - take people's advice on board, but stick with what you really want. Yes I agree that bigger tiles means less grout means less cleaning, so I will take that into account. But if I don't splurge the extra couple of hundred bucks on the shower screen of my dreams with the black frame, then I will regret it every single morning and night I walk into the bathroom and see the boring shower screen that I got instead, staring back at me!! So I'm getting it.

4. Add a 20% contingency onto your budget (not 10) to cover you. My unexpected cost was needing to get a plasterer to put plasterboard on all of my walls, which then impacted plumbing because I lost depth and the fixings needed extending. I was (somewhat!) prepared in case I needed asbestos removal as I live in an old apartment block but thankfully I was clear of asbestos - although that could've been thousands of bucks extra.

5. Hire a cleaner for once it's all over! Just bloody do it. You will find dust everywhere. I mean, everywhere. And it's just not worth your time and your back, when cleaners are so much faster and efficient. Cut costs elsewhere!!

Please enjoy my before and after photos below! (No toilet photos because it’s not overly exciting - just a new toilet with new tiles and paint.) I’m now open for bookings as a Bathroom Renovation Project Manager, get in touch! Oh and I can now make macrame hanging planters too. I’m so handy ; ) x

[cristinalaria]

[cristinalaria]

The four worst words you could ever say to a food lover

What are the four worst words you could ever say to a food lover?

“The kitchen is closed”

“Your order is lost”

“There’s no food left”

While these are all horrific statements to anyone who adores food as much as me, there are four little words that are, believe it or not, even worse that these. Before I tell you what they are, let me paint a little picture for you.

I have loved to eat since the day I was born. Coming from a big Italian family, everything we, and I do, revolves around eating. We get together - we eat. We are sad - we eat. We are celebrating - we eat. We are mourning - we eat. We are bored - we eat. You get the picture. And what do we eat? Well I eat everything and anything, but my top foods are pasta and bread. Give me a bowl of pasta with some fresh bread, cheese and cured meats and I am in heaven. A couple of slices of pizza on the side would be great too! My Nonna makes homemade pasta and pizza; my go-to dish at home is pasta with whatever is in my fridge. My four or five trips to Italy over the past decade have been predominately all about eating. Sight-seeing is great and all, but give me a menu, stat! The photo above depicts me on the Ligurian Coast in Italy, only moments before that entire pizza was devoured.

So the other day, I’m at home buttering up some toast when an unknown number calls my phone. I answer. It’s a doctor. And that’s when I hear the worst four words anyone could ever say to me…

“You have Coeliac Disease”

I’m sorry - what? Could you please repeat that? Were you even supposed to call me, are you sure you don’t have the wrong number? Yes, I am Cristina Laria, but are you sure? After the call ends and the hours and days go by, I go through the stages. I’m shocked. Then in denial of the whole thing. As if this is happening to me. Then it eventually hits me and I’m depressed. I can’t eat gluten. So I can’t eat anything! Bread, pasta. pizza. And not to mention all the sauces - soy sauce! Will I ever eat Asian food again? OMG KFC - my splurge! I know Zingers and Twisters are out, but if the chips have gluten in the salt, I will just die! (Google search “KFC Nutritional Value” - read the chips are not gluten-free, cry like a baby.) And this is for forever, not a little while - forever!

So that brings me to now. I have entered into the acceptance stage. I am not happy at all, but I am dealing. I start officially this Thursday and I’ve been having a lot of “lasts” - my last real pizza, my last piece of fresh bread (because gluten-free bread HAS to be toasted). A sausage roll. A piece of delicious, fluffy cake.

How can an Italian food lover be a Coeliac? Seems pretty damn cruel if you ask me! SEND HELP… x

[cristinalaria]

Sometime last year, I had a conversation with someone I met through work that went something like this:

Me: “Boysenberry ice-cream is my favourite, but you can just never get it anywhere besides in Choc Top form at the cinemas”. (All of my conversations are always about food, just in case you didn’t know. Even when I’m working.)

Work client: “Do you know there’s actually an amazing homemade ice-cream shop outside that big wheel in the Docklands that does the best boysenberry? Shop isn’t too flash but ice-cream is great”...

Me: “Oh really? What a shame, I never go to the Docklands”.

I remember this conversation well because I think about it every time I want ice-cream and am disappointed that there are so many variations of salted caramel available and no boysenberry.

In early December while in my car I heard a radio ad on Nova 100 calling for applications to be a Melbourne City Reporter for Summer for The City of Melbourne. And I excitedly applied because I love Melbourne and like to think I know a lot about it. Fast forward to now and I have just wrapped up the gig. And while I’m still confident I was the right person for the job, I’m surprised to say that I learnt a heck of a lot!

When you live in such a vibrant, dynamic city like Melbourne, there is never a shortage of ways to go out and have fun. But there are so many things that you simply don’t think about, unless you get the opportunity to look at them through the eyes of a tourist. That was what this competition made me do, if by chance or on purpose. Why wouldn’t I, a self-proclaimed “Melbourne expert”, be well-versed on the Docklands when it’s only five minutes from the CBD via a free tram? The same can be said about outdoor cinemas in Parkville, shopping in North Melbourne or, as demonstrated in the photo above, the bikes you can hire in the city. It’s almost as if as locals we love being the first to jump onto the next craze and then the next, but forget about all the other truly amazing things always around us we haven’t even explored. Hiring one of these bikes, for example, is perfect for me because I love to ride but I’m really lazy and get over it really quickly, so I can get my bike fix so easily with these! And I probably never would have tried it if it weren’t for this competition - I would’ve just continued to walk past them everyday and not even think twice.

So, Melburnians, I challenge you to do one thing in our fine city that you wouldn’t normally do. Something you might tell a tourist to do if they were visiting our city. You might just find yourself surprised like me. And for the record, yes the boysenberry ice-cream at Gelateria on the Docks overlooking the Melbourne Star Observation Wheel in the Docklands is divine. And definitely worth a return visit. Maybe next time, I’ll even go on the Star…

[cristinalaria]

“Cris and Jess” - coming soon!

[cristinalaria]

New York is a city that is always talked up. “Oh New York is amazing, you’re going to love it! It’s my favourite place on earth, it’s so amazing!” You never hear, “New York is a hole, don’t bother.” For first time visitors, it has a hell of a lot to live up to. (If it was a person it would have some serious self-esteem issues from the pressure of living up to all the expectation!) When planning our American adventure, I left NY for the end hoping it would be our highlight and it definitely was. I can see why everyone is in love with it. The whole city has a buzz, a bustling and exciting energy, where you can do anything at anytime and nothing feels impossible.

Seven days was nowhere near enough of course, but Dj and I managed to cram a lot in. After arriving on our flight from San Francisco, we picked up the keys to our Airbnb apartment in trendy Soho and settled into our new neighbourhood by going out for a gigantic American-style pizza.

Thursday we enjoyed brunch and coffee at a place that was reminiscent of Melbourne’s cafe scene. We spent the day exploring Soho and shopping, along the way discovering the incomparable Dean and DeLuca, the greatest deli ever housing all the food groups under the sun. Dinner was at Katz’s Deli, where we ordered the famous Pastrami on Rye which may or may not have been responsible for causing Meg Ryan to fake an orgasm in that famous scene in “When Harry Met Sally”… It was good, but not that good!

The next day we had coffee at what became our usual spot from then on, then set out to explore the bright lights of Times Square. From there we boarded a three hour bus to Atlantic City, New Jersey for a show - not just any show but the show that initially spurred on this whole US trip. The chance to see Jerry Seinfeld doing stand-up! We wasted a few bucks at the casino, had an Italian meal and then it was showtime! All the excitement of seeing Jerry caused my bladder to go into overdrive and my frantic last-minute dash to the toilet meant he came out as I was trying to find my seat in the dark and ended up getting a little lost! The show was incredible. Not at all disappointing, his comedy was smart, well thought-out, inventive and as he’s known for, very relatable. We loved it and are still laughing and reminiscing about things said. Dream come true!! I would say that I could tick that off my life bucket list, but Jerry did a whole bit about how you should replace the “b” in bucket with an “f” and so I have changed my tune! The late night bus back from Atlantic City on the other hand, was far from incredible!

Saturday we continued the Seinfeld theme and did “The Real Kramer Tour” with Kenny Kramer, the inspiration behind Cosmo Kramer’s character in the series. We will a little unsure if it’d be any good but turns out it was great! He told us stories about his life as Larry David’s neighbour and things that happened on set, and we saw sites from the show including a stop for soup at “The Soup Man”, the real life Soup Nazi. Only the Soup Nazi could make me order a Lobster Bisque on a 30+ degree day! Dinner was at Shake Shack, where their burgers lived up to the hype but I learnt that their “unmissable custard” was ice-cream that tasted just like Maccas soft serve.

The next day we went downtown and over the bridge to Brooklyn. We rummaged through new and vintage products at the Dumbo Flea Markets, then enjoyed the view of the Brooklyn Bridge from the nearby park. We headed back uptown and discovered a shop called “ABC Carpet and Home” which was six levels of homewares, furniture and kitchenware and I imagined all the things I could do to my new apartment if it was in New York and/if I had any money to my name. For dinner we had Japanese in Soho which Dj and I would definitely frequent if we were actually locals.

Monday was foodie heaven day - we went to the Chelsea Food Markets! The markets were housed in a former biscuit factory and the building was beautiful. Similarly beautiful was our stop after that at “The High Line” - former railway tracks that are now public gardens and just so lovely. From there we went to the Upper West Side where I sat on the stairs of Carrie Bradshaw’s apartment and proudly recreated the scene in one of the last episodes where Big turns up at her house and she announces she’s moving to Paris and shouts in the street that “I don’t live here anymore.” Dj and all the other boyfriends forced to take photos of their girlfriends outside the apartment did not look amused. We walked the huge grounds of the picturesque Central Park and enjoyed “Strawberry Fields”, an area funded by Yoko Ono to commemorate John Lennon right near where he was shot, which is now a place buskers gather and play Beatles tracks. Then we went to Tom’s Restaurant, THE restaurant featured in Seinfeld! Well, the outside of it anyway, the inside was obviously a set. It was actually more exciting than I anticipated it’d be! Dinner was at a fancy French restaurant courtesy of my thoughtful boss and we left very satisfied.

Another Melbourne-esque cafe for brunch and then off to Battery Park for a view of the Statue of Liberty. We were just going to “pop” into a discount designer department store “Century 21” on the way back… And we emerged four and a half hours later with lots of bags! A lot of crap to sift through but some really great stuff on sale if you have the patience. After a while I realised being ruthless was the name of the game and it was goodbye to my manners but hello to new Chloe boots, amongst other things! From there we saw the new One World Trade Centre and the Memorial pools where the Twin Towers used to stand. It was quite confronting, seeing all the names of the people who died and what they’ve done with the pools is so peaceful in an area that could have otherwise been quite loud. Whipping out the huge DSLR camera seemed inappropriate and Dj and I both walked around silently, consumed by our own thoughts. After a quick bite we had fancy desserts at “Spot Dessert Bar” where Dj’s was in a pot plant pot and mine was created by some kind of chemical reaction, ha!

On our last full day on holidays, first we lunched with a friend Olivia from C31 now living in US, such a sweetheart. We explored Rockefeller Plaza then went up the 69 flights to the “Top of the Rock”. What a view of the city! And the Empire State Building! Just spectacular, such a perfect way to finish our trip. (See a snapshot of the view in the photo above.) We went to the beautiful Grand Central Station, Chrysler building and off to Broadway to see “Book of Morman”. This was a must on my to-do list and it was bloody hilarious! So funny! Not PC and very crude as you’d expect from the South Park creators and the songs and the performers were incredible. The people seated in front of us who left at intermission clearly didn’t feel the same way as us. We ended the night with one last walk through Times Square to see the chaos at night. Arriving back in Soho, we were sad to be leaving the next morning but content with New York and our whole American adventure. Soho was a great area to stay in, so much around there without being full of tourists and tourist attractions. Thanks to all who recommended the area.

Like many people who have never been to America, I always thought I knew what it would be like from years of consuming American movies, TV and media. And as a result many things seem familiar. But interestingly I would say that in my experience from this trip (albeit a little limited from the cities we visited), on the whole the people and places really aren’t that different from us and Australia. The United States and its people have always seemed so far removed from us. Much more extreme, more exaggerated, more out of touch. But once Dj and I ditched Starbucks and found our local coffee roaster selling great coffee, it dawned on me that it all felt just like Australia. And for some reason that was comforting. That feeling of unity, that we are all in this together. That is until the barista handed me my “regular” coffee and I was reminded that the coffee sizes in the US are all whack and I was given about a litre of coffee! Or should that be in ounces? I don’t know! x

[cristinalaria]

Crooner Tony Bennett once sang about leaving his heart in San Francisco, with Rome and Paris seeming sadly grey. I never really understood this, as how could anywhere in America compare to the grandeur that is France and Italy’s capitals? Well now I can certainly see what Mr Bennett was talking about - there definitely is something special about San Fran. And while Rome still remains my favourite place to visit, San Fran is not far behind! Its landscapes are incredible, the vibe is cool - it almost feels familiar, like a much prettier Melbourne. Definitely our favourite place in the US so far.

After a quick flight from Vegas, we checked into our downtown hotel and set out to explore the city streets. We did a bit of shopping, which I was thrilled about having not done much up to this point of our trip! The great thing about US is that there is free wifi absolutely everywhere, so bored boyfriends can amuse themselves in shops with Pokemon Go. We stayed in for a quiet dinner and much needed early night.

Sunday was the ultimate touristy day. First up waited in a very long line to ride a cable car. When we finally got on it was packed but I snuck outside the carriage and got to do the “holding on the outside handles, wind in my hair” thing! That was the only time we rode one - it was great fun but the queues were ridic and it was much more efficient and cheaper to get the bus! We took the cable car to Fisherman’s Wharf - the sun was shining and the weather was mid 20s and brilliant, such a welcome change from the extreme humidity and heat of Vegas. The cable car gave us incredible views of the hilly streets and houses, the vista was just wow. We explored the wharf and went to a restaurant to try San Fran’s speciality Clam Chowder in a sourdough bread bowl. (I learnt their colder climate means excellent sourdough and gone was any attempt at a gluten free diet!) The chowder was fishy, creamy deliciousness and while I loved it, it was certainly not for everyone (ie. Djovan)! A highlight of the wharf area was seeing the sea lions who have made a home for themselves along planks of wood originally designed for boats to dock. There were so many! Lots of walking later and we found ourselves at Lombard St and “the most crooked street in the world” which was crooked yes and beautifully landscaped but perhaps a tad overrated. Dinner at Chipotle, my new fav Mexican takeout.

The next day was another big one - Golden Gate Bridge day, aka the bridge from the opening titles of one of my fav childhood shows “Full House!” San Fran is an extremely foggy city and everything I read said go to the bridge in the morning because as the day goes on the bridge slowly disappears. Two buses later and we arrived, seeing it in all its glory. (See photo above.) I always thought it looked red in colour but it’s actually more a burnt orange. We decided against walking the bridge as its actually pretty long and we had other places to go, so we ventured away along the coast. As we walked and time went on, the bridge became small and faint in the distance, but was still exciting to look at. We stopped at a small cafe for lunch along the way, then walked towards an impressive-looking dome building that ended up being the Palace of Fine Arts. At first it looked like we had suddenly stepped into Greece or Rome - it resembled an ancient ruin and seemed completely out of place in San Fran! Turns out it was modelled on such a design. From there we bused to see the Painted Ladies - the famous six colourful houses in a row, also known to me from Full House! The park surrounding it was sadly under construction so our picnic wasn’t to be, but I enjoyed staring at them nonetheless. While they are gorgeous houses, to be honest all the houses and apartment blocks in San Fran are also gorgeous and very unique in style. We had burgers for dinner, took a piece of delicious cheesecake from The Cheesecake Factory home with us and flopped into bed.

On our last day, we headed to the Ferry Building past the CBD end of town, which held Famers and Arts and Craft Markets on Tuesdays. We shopped and I enjoyed some delicious fresh fish tacos. We spent the rest of the arvo shopping and walking around the city, taking it easy, then for dinner we headed to Chinatown. It felt like we were in Melbourne’s Chinatown, it looked and felt exactly the same. Chinese seafood and veggies for dinner, where Dj managed to squirt the insides of a Shanghai dumpling all over his new jacket bought earlier that day, which was annoying but quite amusing!

This morning we had a very early flight to catch and I’m currently writing this from the plane. (Free wifi - get yourself together Oz airlines!) We’re en route to the east coast for our final destination - New York!! And this time the real place, not the fake one in Vegas. Can’t wait… x

[cristinalaria]

Hot. Colourful. Smokey. Bright. Tacky. Extreme. Loud. Did I mention hot? All words that come to mind when I think about Las Vegas! In my opinion, all the stereotypes and things you hear about Vegas are true… And to an even bigger extent than you expect.

Our amazing LA hosts Tanaaz and Brian decided to accompany us on our trip to Vegas, so rather than a 6am flight, we enjoyed a 4 hour luxury car ride leaving at a decent hour instead. Great way to do it too because the trip gave us the chance to see outside of LA. Leaving California and making our way into Nevada, the desert landscape was so dry and made it really hit home how much cities like LA and Vegas are truly in the middle of not much else! Arriving in Vegas we were immediately greeted by intense heat and humidity that felt very thick - it was like you had to push your way through it. I’m not a fan of the heat but thankfully inside everywhere in Vegas had top notch air conditioning.

With most hotels in Vegas having a theme our hotel “Excalibur” had a tacky castle exterior and inside were stained glass windows, swords, knights and the like. Tanaaz and Brian stayed in a pyramid, modelled on Egypt. A shower and a rest and off we went down The Strip - the main boulevard in Vegas! Being daylight it wasn’t quite as I imagined - it was busy but not crazy and the bright lights were minimal. As it got later and the sun set however, out came the craziness, the blinding and flashing lights, the spruikers promoting casinos, nightclubs, strip clubs, even drugs under their breath. Truly fascinating. We had Italian for dinner in one of the casinos, delicious but tiny dishes that were quite amusing. We walked and we walked and we walked! Casino after casino! So much to see, so much to walk, going from stifling heat to the cool air con. It was overwhelming, exhausting but also enticing and intriguing. Highlights included the reception and the water fountains outside the Bellagio, timed to music tracks, and everything about the Venetian. The Venetian, modelled on the canals of Venice was of course tacky and fake, but for some reason I really liked it. I think I appreciated the level of detail in the casino, the way there was even a St Mark’s Square and gelato shops (which we visited naturally). The casinos of Paris and New York, New York were nowhere near as impressive or committed to the theme or the details, even if they did have giant replicas of the Eiffel Tower and the Statue of Liberty. I bet a whole $20 and lost, Brian had a little bit more luck than me, and we went to bed beyond exhausted once again from walking almost the whole strip. Oh and did I mention the heat?!

After a sleep in the next morning, the four of us went in search of a brunch spot. We found one that was highly rated and there we ate the biggest meals we’ve seen in the US to date! My oatmeal was in a bowl almost the size of a salad bowl, but worse were Brian’s chicken waffles and Dj’s chicken hash with scones - unbelievable. (There’s a photo on my Instagram to give you an idea!) After letting the food settle we headed to beautiful two casinos a little further out - Encore and Wynn. Both were absolutely gorgeous, with (rare) natural light and beautiful details. My favourite of all the casinos was the Wynn - there was an indoor garden with gorgeous flower displays which were mostly fake but looked very real. (The photo above with Tanaaz is of just one example.) There was also a merry-go-round made entirely of flowers, which was divine! After a bit more wandering we cabbed downtown to “Old Vegas” - the original Vegas which is much smaller and I’m told now is the hangout spot for locals. First we visited the "Mob Museum" - a museum devoted to the history of the mob in America and their involvement in creating Vegas to be what it is today. Having just completed watching The Sopranos I'm pretty interested in the mafia right now, so I found it fascinating! Without the mob Vegas wouldn't exist, which I had no clue about and I even got to see an outfit worn by Tony and one worn by Paulie in The Sopranos! Definite highlight. We had a to-die-for Japanese dinner of sushi and sashimi, which was much needed after a week of lots of grease. Then we checked out downtown. Brian explained it best by saying it felt like “Vegas meets Venice Beach” - it was a cultural melting with so much to see everywhere you looked! It was much grungier than Vegas and there happened to be a music festival on which mean the mood was even more electric. We spotted a restaurant called “Heart Attack Grill” that had the slogan, “Over 350 LBs eats free” (which Google tells me is 159 KGs). Then there was a set of scales underneath it. So people over 159 kilos eat free at the Heart Attack Grill?! Seriously America, get your shit together!! After walking the main strip we were hot and had seen enough so back we went to Vegas. From there we said goodnight to Tanaaz and Brian (sad goodbye after a brilliant week together) and Dj and I had a small gamble at our hotel’s casino, where our $20 crept up to $300 then ended at $0! Hey that’s Vegas! We’re both too tight to spend any more, we’re not great gamblers!

This morning we’re taking a flight to San Francisco. It was only two nights in Vegas but honestly I think that was enough. With more time we could have gone to the Grand Canyon, we had toyed with the ideal but the heat in the middle of summer would have been too extreme. Also with more time we could’ve seen a show and Dj and I both liked the idea of seeing Jennifer Lopez who was playing while we were there, but we chose to explore instead. While I definitely enjoyed my time, the heat and humidity was a killer and I’ve found that and the smoke everywhere pretty unpleasant and also hard on my dry eyes. (I appreciate the smoking bans in Oz even more now!) Might come back one day and do the Canyon but for now I’m satisfied with my Vegas experience, glad I’ve seen it and don’t think I’ll rushing back anytime soon… I’m more about food and shopping than bright lights and gambling! (I’m currently looking at slot machines in the airport - is that necessary?!)

Also one last thing - I have done so much walking on this holiday my legs feel like they’re going to drop off! Need to rethink the term “holiday”… x

[cristinalaria]

As we got off our plane at Los Angeles' LAX airport, we were greeted by a large photo of Obama and an American flag, which immediately excited both Djovan and I. Neither of us have been to the United States and have always been curious to see whether the images portrayed in TV shows and movies were indeed accurate. We were greeted at the airport by Djovan's longtime friend Tanaaz and her boyfriend Brian, who took us to their apartment and our home for the next 6 nights. And boy did we hit the jackpot with those two - such incredible, hospitable hosts! After a nap and a shower, Tanaaz and Brian took us on a drive through the Hollywood Hills to the prestigious Beverly Hills, postcode 90210. (Sadly no cast members were spotted.) There I had my first American meal - I tried to go healthy with a salad but it was covered in mayo and also a drip-style coffee, which wasn't terrible. While walking along Rodeo Drive we saw a huge crowd up ahead surrounding the Vera Wang store so we joined in, curious to see what was happening. There were paparazzi, video cameras and whispers that three Kardashians were inside the store! Suddenly a security guard came right up to where Tanaaz and I were standing and created a path in front of us and sure enough, straight passed us walked Kim and Khloe! This is one of the times I was happy that I'm tall, because I got a great view as they walked to their car. (Smaller Tanaaz not so much!) Their mum Kris was also there but walked a different way. I don't care for the Kardashians but seeing the whole thing was so interesting. The insanity, the screaming, the fuss as they got in their car and drove off. My favourite part of all was the police officer trying to get people off the road screaming, "These people are no more important than you!" Day 1 in LA and we saw the Kardashians - not bad! That night we headed to outside Universal Studios to an area of restaurants and shops. I enjoyed a delicious steak and we had a bit of a wander, Djovan very excited about our pending visit to the actual studios in a few short days. Saturday we went on a day trip to Santa Monica and Venice. Santa Monica was a picturesque beach with palm trees, but the boardwalk was really geared up to tourists and because the weather was stinking hot it was packed! We lunched at a health conscious, LA-style restaurant where I had a ridiculously yummy quinoa burger and green juice. Then we went down the road to Venice. Tanaaz and Brian told us that Venice Beach was quite colourful and they were right - such a cool place! Walking down the boardwalk just looking around was fun in itself. So much to look at. I guess the best way to describe it is hippy/eclectic meets grunge. Stalls and shops selling slogan clothing, henna tattoos, handmade and sewn objects, with boom boxes blaring music. My favourite part were The Green Doctors - for $US40 "doctors" were assessing people's health conditions to grant them a card which allows them to legally buy marijuana for medicinal purposes. What was so great about the Green Doctors was that the spruikers at the front of the stalls were dressed in green scrubs and looked so unlike doctors or nurses - very unkempt, listening to music in their headphones! I also loved the Muscle Gym - an outside, open air gym where you can watch muscly men lift weights! That night was another great meal at an Italian organic restaurant in The Hills. Sunday we went to the Farmers Markets and The Grove in West Hollywood. We leisurely wandered through the food stalls and shops and I enjoyed seeing LA locals doing their weekend shopping. Sunday night we had tickets to The Magic Castle, which I was really excited about! Brian is a member, which is lucky because otherwise the Castle is impossible to get in to. We had to get quite dressed up, then once we arrived we had to say the "magic words" to a bookcase for the door to the castle to open. (Can't disclose the magic words, ha!) Inside we watched top notch magic shows which really did amaze me. I became obsessed with learning how the tricks were done! It was a mixture of card tricks, mentalism, slight of hand and illusion. I loved it! (I kept thinking of that Curb your Enthusiasm episode when Larry wants to learn how to be a magician and Cheryl's cousin won't teach him!) Monday was Disneyland day! The day I was waiting for! We arrived at 11am and didn't leave until after 11pm. It was an incredible day but exhausting, it's just so big. It really is magical! At first Dj and I were a tad overwhelmed and needed to sit down, there were so many people and the heat was burning. But after a drink we were off! We started with a Beauty and the Beast show (which Dj loved of course), then we did ride after ride (and queue after queue), ate, shopped and were merry! The highlights were definitely the parades and the fireworks. We saw two parades, daytime and nighttime and they were out of this world! The size, the scale of it all, the detail. So elaborate. Giant Disney characters in sets on floats, surrounded by dancers. And everything was lit up at night and looked magnificent. And the fireworks - what a show! I can't believe they do something so spectacular on a daily basis. I can't speak more highly of the parades or the fireworks, that's worth the ticket price alone. Everything about Disneyland is just incredible - the level of detail in everything is remarkable, everything has been so well thought-out and looks stunning. By the end of the day we were so tired we couldn't walk, but it was worth it. Happiest place on earth indeed. (Above is a picture of Walt Disney with his famous mouse and in the background you can see Sleeping Beauty's gorgeous castle.) The next day we were still exhausted so we were very slow! Dj and I went Hollywood Boulevard and did the touristy stuff. We had a burger at Hard Rock Cafe, saw the Walk of Fame and the handprints at the Chinese Theatre. We ticked off all that stuff in a couple of hours - it was too touristy, but you need to see it once. That night Brian and Tanaaz took us to Griffith Park to the Griffith Observatory which has sweeping views of LA and the famous Hollywood sign. This was a favourite place of mine, a tranquil setting with breathtaking views of the city and was quite thrilling to see the Hollywood sign in real life. Dinner was at a Downtime taco place which really hit the spot. Our last day in LA was Universal Studios day - what Dj was really looking forward to! We were both still so tired from Disneyland and happy that Universal wasn't anywhere near as big! The highlight for Dj was the Jurassic Park area, something he has always wanted to see. I enjoyed that and really liked Springfield, The Simpsons area. In my opinion the best attraction was the one based on the TV show "The Walking Dead". You walk through a dark house with dead people and blood and real life zombies coming at you and it's bloody terrifying! Universal Studios was great but it's nowhere near as impressive having been to Disneyland. Perhaps it would have been better doing Universal first. At night we headed to a jazz club in LA that Dj booked tickets to, as he heard that one of this idols actor Jeff Goldblum played there. We arrived and sure enough, there was Jeff and Dj lost his shit! We enjoyed dinner and drinks, listened to jazz and watched what was essentially the Jeff Goldblum show - him chatting away on stage, playing the piano with his band and saying hello to every person in the audience, all there to see him. There was a photo opportunity where Dj got to meet him and he was very star-struck. Jeff was everything he hoped he'd be and more and as eccentric as ever. Great ending to our time in LA! So this morning we were supposed to catch a 6am flight to Las Vegas but we changed it up a little and now I'm in a car on the road! More to come on that later. A few things of note: Firstly we've had no jetlag - so refreshing after so many trips to Europe with terrible jetlag. I find it so interesting that valet parking is so common here - it's normal actually. I hate that the prices of things advertised don't include tax. So you have to factor in an extra almost 10% for tax and then 20% for tipping at restaurants. I like that in Oz the GST is included in the advertised price. And finally while in LA we haven't seen many Golden Arches, there really is a Starbucks on every corner! Every. Single. Corner. And it tastes so shit - I miss my Melbourne flat whites already... x

[cristinalaria]

[Bang head here]

I like to think of myself as a pretty calm person. I’m not one for arguing and I rarely get angry or riled up. I think I can count on just one hand the number of things that really annoy me: people pushing onto trains without allowing passengers to disembark first; baristas making me cappuccinos instead of froth-less flat whites; and my boyfriend’s obsession with cracking his knuckles and every possible joint in his body fifty times a day. But that’s really it.

Of late however, there’s been one little thing that’s making my blood boil. I’ve been so annoyed and frustrated that I just want to scream and/or constantly bang my head against a wall. If train passengers were all to push onto trains giving me frothy flat whites while cracking their knuckles in front of me repeatedly it still would not even be close to evoking the kind of feelings I’ve been experiencing of late.

The thing causing me all this distress is... real estate.

You see, I’ve been trying to buy my first property. A modest little two-bedroom apartment to live in. I have my finances in order, a potential housemate ready to go and so many tea towels and vases that I’ll never need to buy any more of either in my entire lifetime.

This property search has been going on for well over a year now, so as you can imagine I have seen A LOT of properties. (Just a small selection of them can be seen in the photo above.) They range from rundown pieces of crap that aren’t safe to live in, to palaces waaaaay too pretty for my budget. I’ve seen places so teeny there isn’t room for any kind of couch or table. Bathrooms covered in thick layers of mold and toilets with skid marks. Carspaces that are so small not even Mr Bean’s car would fit in it. (Or maybe if you could do an Austin Powers-style fifteen point turn and maneuver yourself into it.) Outdoor courtyards that are the selling point of the property but it’s conveniently not mentioned that said courtyard is actually the parking space in disguise. Shocking cigarette-stained carpets. Tenants who won’t get out for the inspection, so inspectors have to look around them while they watch TV on the couch, burping beer. Concrete cancer oozing out of buildings. (A lesson from my brother and one that’s good to learn about.) Section 32 contracts missing the Body Corporate meeting minutes. (A bit of research later and what do you know, they’re currently getting quotes to completely rebuild the foundations of the whole the apartment block and it’s very costly.) Of all the things I’ve seen, by far the weirdest thing of all that still sticks with me to this day is the place in St Kilda East with a bedroom that was a creeeeepy floor-to-ceiling shrine to Amy Winehouse. (I had to get out of there.) I have seen that many apartments that once I went to one and it wasn’t until I was into my third room that I realised I’d seen it already. It had been taken off the market, refurbished and then put back up for sale. (It was still crap though, a bit of paint isn’t fooling anyone. Reminded me of that Sex and the City episode when Samantha realises she’s sleeping with a man she’s already slept with.)

I am well aware that my budget means that I am restricted with what property I can afford and I need to be realistic. And by now I know exactly where I stand in the market. You’d hope so! I haven’t just been inspecting, I have been putting in offers and attending auctions. I have mastered my poker-face and can confidently bid at an auction. I know all the “tricks” (do your research on what it sold for and how long ago; stay quiet at the auction and don’t speak up until it’s coming to the end. Even though we all know that’s not actually the end. Don’t be silly! It “ends” at least three times before it actually ends.) The agents all know me. I probably have a reputation among them, the picky ethnic girl who knows what she wants and has missed out a few times because she refuses to put in “just a few more thousand, it’s not that much in the long run!” (I know all your tricks guys and “just a few more thousand” is a heck of a lot of money actually. And also, since when is “a few thousand” fifty grand?)

By now almost everyone around me is sick of my complaining and with my best interests at heart almost everyone has, at some point, said the following: “Cris, I think it’s time to reassess what you want”. And I get it. People have to make compromises to get what they want - not be so close to the city, not be so close to a station, look for something smaller, not have luxuries like air-conditioning, etc. But I have gotten so close so many times now that surely I am on the right track. I’m not being hugely unrealistic with what I’m looking for and this isn’t a decision I want to regret down the track because I compromised on something after giving up and giving in... this isn’t exactly a small purchase like a new handbag. (Not that I’ve ever regretted any of those.)

Now we are heading into Winter, synonymous with a quiet real estate market. My constant refreshing of my Domain and Real Estate apps is becoming more and more pointless, as new proprieties now aren’t really expected until Spring has sprung. But that’s ok - I’ve been living at home for almost 31 years, what’s another six months? Or a year? Or five years?

HELP ME PROPERTY GODS, I CAN’T KEEP SPENDING MY WEEKENDS AT OPENS AND SPENDING MY WEEKDAYS SCREENING CALLS FROM REAL ESTATE AGENTS WHO ARE TRYING TO SELL ME THE CRAP NO ONE WANTS.

(Wow, I feel better now I’ve gotten that off my chest! Maybe I need to write blog entries about train disembarking etiquette/frothy flat whites/knuckle-cracking and then I’ll be completely zen...)

[cristinalaria]

An afternoon tea celebrating a mother to be! (again)

Just a few of my favourite details x

[cristinalaria]

Say what, universe?

Yesterday, I joined a gym. I’ve been feeling damn unfit for a while now and have been inspired to do something about it having watched my brother get active and healthy. I’m sure new gym memberships skyrocket come the beginning of a new year and I was determined that this not become another new year’s resolution that I don’t end up keeping. So instead of waiting, I signed up at the end of the year. Not being a new year means it’s not a new year’s resolution, so my twisted logic suggests that I have more of a chance of keeping it up! Yesterday I downloaded a copy of their opening hours and class timetable and got excited about starting.

Today, I had a fall. On my way to the 5.05am train I catch every Tuesday to breakfast radio, I tripped on the asphalt path that leads to the station entrance. And I tripped in spectacular fashion - I fell forward half a metre and my Keep Cup coffee cup flew so far it went over the high fence on my right and ended up in the adjoining cemetery! (Only amusing in hindsight!) After limping my way into the station and to the Metro attendant, it was then I realised the full effect of my fall. Blood was quickly running down my left leg into my brand new shoes and my now-ripped jeans had become soaked with blood. I had scraped my left hand and my right knee, but turns out I had taken a great big chunk out of my left knee! Shock mixed with hysteria set in, while the lovely train attendant cut open my jeans to get to the cuts and soak up the blood. I don’t need to continue with details here, but a visit to the Emergency Room, lots of cleaning by two doctors, anesthetic, painkillers, X-Rays and a Tetanus shot later and I am now very sore and bandaged up. I won’t be walking marathons any time soon, or swimming in my pool in the hot heat this week. Or going to the gym for that matter.

So I am left to ponder this: I join the gym and the next day I injure myself to the point of barely being able to walk and now I can’t go indefinitely. What is the universe trying to tell me here? In another strange series of events, the lovely Metro lady helped me regain my faith in humanity, which I had completely lost the previous couple of days at the Boxing Day shopping sales, (where people seem to lose all ability to be decent human beings). And it was at those sales I bought the new shoes that I got covered in blood within the first ten minutes of wearing them. I don’t know what this all means. Any ideas? All I know is Karen from Cheltenham Station - you were so lovely and helpful and I’m so grateful. Chocolates are coming your way. And Cheltenham Cemetery - I’m sorry about the flying Keep Cup! I hope it hasn’t unsettled anyone over there! x

[cristinalaria]

Clearly it’s true what they say, breakfast radio hosts don’t actually get along when the mics are off. I mean, just look at us above. Clearly we really hate each other. But hey, when promo photos need to be taken, what can you do!

Above is James Findlay, Jess Keneally and I and with our powers combined (Captain Planet-style) we are the Triple Threat with James, Jess and Cristina! Don’t know us? Well you can listen to us on Joy 94.9FM Tuesdays from 6.30am until 9am, or else there’s podcasts here. Ohhh and like us here and follow us here! And tell ya friends too… great thanks! x

** Photos taken by Djovan Caro.

[cristinalaria]

(Not so) Secret women’s business - the good ol’ contraceptive pill.

I remember when I got my first period on Christmas Day (yes Christmas morning, thank you for the pressie Santa) at the end of Year Eight. It was a momentous occasion for me - I was one of the last girls in my group of friends to get it and always felt like I was missing out when they talked about “Aunty Flow” and their “Rags”. After that Christmas I quickly learnt I wasn’t actually missing anything!

Like so many women my age, I’ve been on the pill for many, many years. Twelve to be exact. And also like a lot of women, I have never given my body a break. Heck I think I can count on one hand the number of pills I have accidentally forgotten to take over all these years. I’ve been pretty meticulous with taking it - half because it’s just in my nature to remember things and half because the thought of accidentally getting pregnant is even more scary to me than the news a couple of weeks back that processed meat products cause cancer. And as a salami-enthusiast, that REALLY was scary. (But naturally my eating habits have not been affected.) I first went on the pill because in my younger years I didn’t fully trust that condoms were enough protection, but also because in my teens I had heavy periods that came every three weeks. And the pill seemed like the obvious answer to all my problems. I started with a short stint on Levlen (made me feel a little low so I quickly got off it), and then on to Yasmin, which at the time was a “revolutionary” new pill that hadn’t been in Australia for all that long. And on it I stayed...

In the last couple of years, it’s been hard to ignore all of the articles being written about the dangers of Yasmin and its sister pill Yaz. Month after month there is another woman in America successfully suing the manufacturers Bayer Healthcare. There are now class action law suits in Australia too, claiming the pill has caused severe blood clots, amongst other things. (Google it if you feel like some interesting yet shocking reading.)

I’ve written before about how I was 22 when diagnosed with the autoimmune disease Sjogren’s Syndrome and lately I’ve been wondering how my body might impact from a break from the pill. I have never experienced Sjogren’s not on the pill - it might make my symptoms better, it might make them much worse. But I’m very curious to find out.

So as of last Saturday I have officially been contraceptive-pill free! I’ve been off for one whole week now! Obviously at this early stage I still don’t feel any different, although I was secretly hoping for some kind of instant reaction. I have incessantly googled what I can expect and I’m hanging to see what will happen and what I will feel. As for contraception, I am still scared of getting pregnant, although my 18 year old self is very much behind me and the thought isn’t quite as petrifying as it once was. In my time of uncertainly, I’m amazed and confused by this fun fact sent to me by one of my close friends:

“Effects of hormonal contraceptives on mate selection have been documented, both as they affect women's preferences for men (Wedekind et al.,1995) and men's preferences for women (Kuukasjärvi et al., 2004). Differences in long-term relationship outcomes have also been observed in hormonal contraceptive users (Roberts et al., 2012).” 

Will I still be interested in my long-term boyfriend? Only time will tell! (Although I’m pretty keen to prove Wedekind wrong.)

If anyone reading this has gone off the pill after a long time, please comment and let me know how it went for you - would love to hear about your experiences x

[cristinalaria]

Just a small selection of some of the truly amazing costumes from my 90s-themed birthday party. SO BLOWN AWAY by the effort put in by every single person! x

[cristinalaria]

You shouldn't be jealous of everyone holidaying right now

We’re smack bang in the middle of Winter and I’m sure you’re just like me - lying here, freezing your butt off, in your granny-esque flannelette PJs and knee-high socks, under layers of blankets, wondering if this ice age will ever end. You try to distract yourself from all the shivering by playing on your phone and scrolling through your social media accounts and suddenly you’re enraged. Person after person is uploading pictures of themselves in sunny holiday destinations. They’re posing in that exact same position on the beach where their legs look like sausages, or they are drinking cocktails or hanging out in front of iconic landmarks. It also seems like every second person is “checking in” at Melbourne Airport ready for their European or Asian getaway, chasing the warm weather. And there you are, suddenly finding yourself temporarily hating all the people you normally like. This anger happens at the same time every year and it seems like the only way to actually get through Winter (and not be plagued with rampant jealousy) is to log off social media for the months of June, July and August.

This Winter season I feel guilty for being jealous of my holidaying friends as I enjoyed a lovely trip away throughout the month of May. However, I’ve been thinking and while holidays can be pretty damn amazing, there are many annoying things that come along with them. So as a way of combating my jealously/guilt and making everyone stuck in this cold weather feel better about themselves, here is a list of really annoying things that your holidaying friends aren’t posting about, but are inevitably experiencing in one way or another:

Tummy troubles. There’s the good ol’ Bali Belly, with similar versions available to catch in Thailand, India and lots of other places. There’s diarrhea that only copious amounts of Imodium can fix, or alternatively constipation and laxatives. Either way, you’re chained to the toilet. Which leads me to my next point…

Foreign toilets. Drop toilets, no flush, not clean, no paper, having to pay and never quite knowing what toilet situation you’re about to walk into. Or not being able to find a toilet when you are busting to go! Give me my home dunny any day.

Weird beds. Lumpy, hard, soft, filled with infested bugs and indecipherable stains. The thought of how many different people have had sex in the very bed you’re sleeping on, or better yet, finding a used condom. (Happened to me in Austria, was compensated with a bottle of champagne. Ironic considering a whole bottle of champers may have been the reason the condom ended up there in the first place.)

The constant annoyance of having to guard your stuff so it doesn’t get stolen by pickpockets or gypsies. Do you have your passport? It is on you? Have you locked your locks, do you remember the codes, have you got the keys in a safe place? And then why is some guy all up your grill, is he just a close-talker? Oh no, there goes your wallet… You hear stories of this happening ALL the time and I witnessed it happening to someone in Spain a few years ago.

Having to convert back to Aussie Dollars in your head to make sure you’re not getting ripped off. Even though I was the “Times Tables Champion” of St Patrick’s Primary School in Mentone I have no desire to perform maths while on holiday. And then when you finally have the conversion rate mastered you change countries and have to start all over again! FML. Did I just pay $16 for a magnet of the Statue of David? Now I see next door are selling the same ones for $8! Why didn’t I go there first? Oh wait, now it’s EVEN CHEAPER at the next store! Too late! What is this injustice?

Waiting in outrageously long lines to see sites. If you’re on holidays who wants to get up at 4am to make sure you’re in the front of the line and actually are in with a chance to get to see the Alhambra. Oh and yes I do love waiting six hours in a queue to see a garden, that’s a most valuable way to spend a day. Oh hang on, should I listen to that spruiker and join a tour in order to skip the queue or will I be ripped off? Damn it I should’ve just bought tickets online months ago! (Just sharing my inner dialogue that occurred at the Alhambra, if you can’t guess.)

Having to buy souvenirs for every single person back home. The phrase “What did you get me?” is uttered more regularly by family when you return home than “How was your trip?” It’s a proven statistic. Here, I got you a keyring of a tiny, single Dutch clog. Add it to your pile of cute but useless crap.

And let’s not forget the new illness du jour - Ebola. According to mainstream media we are all at a very high risk of catching Ebola, so beware. You probably have it right now.

Finally, if the above points have not made you feel better, please observe the photo below. That’s a happy snap of me enjoying a sunny holiday on the party island of Ko Pha Ngan in Thailand a few years ago. Don’t I look happy to be there, experiencing the wonderful island life! Don’t I look tanned and radiant! Sunny holidays really are the tops! x

Ps. This whole post is all crap really - can I puh-lease go on holidays already??

[cristinalaria]

When life gives you lemons

A dear friend passed away almost a fortnight ago. It was unexpected. Days on and I’m still replaying the moment I found out over and over again in my head. Am I sure I wasn’t reading my phone while I was sleeping, it was some kind of bad dream, right? As well as constantly remembering that it did indeed happen, I continuously think about the last time I saw him. Did I give him a hug when I left? I’m sure I did, I always did. But the thing plaguing me the most is thinking about him before he died, being all alone in his home, deciding that he was so unhappy that he didn’t want to go on. The unhappiness must have been all-consuming and beyond my comprehension.

Thankfully though, with time has also come some common sense and perspective. Those around him helped in what way they could. After so much unhappiness there is some comfort in knowing that he has now, no doubt, found peace. And importantly I can now recall positive memories and feelings. The one that stands out the most is the proud-as-punch look he would give me when he walked into the office at the start of a work day and I happened to notice one of the brand new shirts or ties he was wearing. On one particular morning he debuted a new ensemble which I instantly loved - it was a lemon-coloured shirt, a colour he would never normally wear, and he matched it with a gold-striped tie. His lemon shirt brought a delightful pop of colour into the office. Every day from then on, whenever he wore the lemon shirt he would wait for me to comment on it before he could get on with his day. And whenever he would wear it I would refer to him for the whole day as “Lemon”. It was a silly little thing we both enjoyed immensely. My Lemon. Gone too soon.

This morning on the news I heard about Beyond Blue’s new campaign. And I was stoked. (You can read about it and watch one of their ads here: http://www.theage.com.au/victoria/meet-davo-the-face-of-beyondblues-focus-on-blue-collar-mens-mental-health-20150621-ghsfv8.html) While they have used the “larrikin tradie Davo” to front the campaign and target a certain demographic, the underlying message is simple - men need to talk. Whether they may be dealing with depression, anxiety, mental health, drugs, alcohol problems, whatever it is - men need to talk. But it’s not just up to men. It’s all of us. We all need to talk. There is nothing weak or shameful or lame about going through tough times. It happens to so many of us. And maybe, with a bit more awareness and discussion, it might also bring more hope. Please, everyone - chat, babble, laugh, cry, whisper, shout, or however you need to do it - for the love of God, talk!!

Life gave me my Lemon. And now I’m making lemonade. RIP MKS x