As I write this, I'm thinking about a few days ago. A few days ago when I wanted to be dead, and I thought about what comes after death. It was either darkness, or reincarnation. Now, I have new hopes, for the before and after.
Before I die, I hope I meet you. I hope I can find you and muttzy and occi and everyone else that I love here. I have some huge hugs for you. Before I die, I want to make it. Really make it, into a house of my own, with racks for tails and suits and rooms for joyful dancing and dreaming.
Before I die, I want to be truly happy. No pills or awful days.
And when I die, go into that great ending, I want to see. I want to see how I've helped people, and see that I made a difference. I want to see that people did care. Always. When I die, I want to wake up five again, not a care in the world, playing the bedtime cat game. I always was feline, and that? That made me euphoric before I knew the word. When I die, I want to wake before the social shift, playing games on the playground in elementary. Yes, then home wasn't great, but who needed that home?
When I die, I want to grow wings. Wings and scales, and be my true self.
Absolutely inspired by your post.
I’d like to think, that before we die, we'll all find each other and know we weren’t alone in all this. We'll all romp around together, run through the brushes, call through the trees and the rivers until we’re breathless under the moonlight. I’d like to think that we can make it, that others can look at all of us and know they could have a bright future as who they are. And when we die, we’ll all still find each other, maybe just a little differently; but I’m sure I’d recognise all of you, even with your fur and your scales and your metal gears.
I hope you get to wake up peacefully and joyfully, five years old again without a worry in the world. I hope you get to wake up again, and you’ll be able to outstretch your wings so wide, and shake the ground with your roar.









