Meeting Her Parents
by Brian Killen
A guy must undergo certain relationship priorities in order for one to succeed. If a guy has been dating a girl for a few weeks he might ask her to be exclusive. Once they’ve become exclusive the next step might be moving in together and if that goes well the next and biggest step for a guy is asking his girlfriend to marry him. There is one step that wasn’t mentioned and one that every guy has to experience and it’s just as important as the ones mentioned. That is - meeting her parents.
This obstacle has been brought up, talked about and seen by bros for several decades. When a girl introduces a guy to her parents it’s a big deal. Not so much for the mother (I know from experience that moms tend to love boyfriends) but for their dad’s, well that’s the “obstacle.” Why are they so damn intimidating? Probably because he’s imagining the stuff you’re doing to his little princess in the bedroom. Shit, when it’s time to have kids I’m only having boys.
Something that showed everyone how meeting her parents can go wrong is the movie Meet the Parents. In the movie Ben Stiller visits his future in-laws hoping they would like him so he can finally ask his girlfriend to marry him. Robert De Niro turns out to be his girlfriend’s father who also happens to be a former undercover CIA agent. That wasn’t the only issue for him and hopefully not every guy has to deal with any of the chaos that Gaylord Focker (yea that’s Stiller’s character) dealt with after meeting her parents.
Even if your relationship isn’t as serious as Focker’s was, it’s still a good idea to know what to do when she introduces you to her parents. Follow these guidelines and make sure to never spray paint a cat! (If you’ve seen the movie you know what I’m talking about)
The Introduction:
-Dress nice. Even if it’s a casual summer BBQ it’s better to be over dressed than look like a bum. That also means shave and wear deodorant!
-Don’t be nervous. At least don’t show how nervous you are. The last thing a guy wants is sweaty palms so show her parents the same confidence that your girlfriend saw in you when you first met.
-Bring a gift. Not a good idea to show up empty handed. Bring her parents something simple like a glass of wine. If you find out that the father takes interest in something specific don’t bring him anything you think he will like. It can backfire.
-Avoid awkwardness. It could get awkward if your girlfriend says hi to her parents before introducing you. If this does happen just smile and wait your turn. Give her mother a handshake and if you want kiss her on the cheek. Avoid the awkward ass-out hug. Give her father a firm handshake, smile and look straight at him. Say, “It’s nice to meet you” but know you’re now playing on his court.
-Don’t flirt with her mom. Just don’t do it.
At the Dinner Table:
-Don’t say grace. You don’t want to mess this up and sound like an idiot. If they put you on the spot you can’t say no so say something short and sweet.
-Don’t eat first. If anything try to be the last one to start eating. This shows your not a pig and have patience.
-Don’t be shy. If your enjoying your meal and want seconds – go for it. This shows someone you’re not shy but don’t over step your food boundaries. If you don’t plan on eating everything don’t put a lot on you’re plate.
-Don’t over compliment. You’ve said too much if you compliment her mother or father more than two times at the dinner table. Say something like, “This chicken is delicious” or “This wine tastes great.” If you start complimenting too much they’re going to think you’re full of shit.
-Don’t tell jokes. I once told a joke at the dinner table and no one thought it was funny. It was awkward because I had to explain it to everyone so learn from my mistake. Unless you know people will laugh don’t tell any jokes. You never know who’s going to take offense to something that you think is funny.
-Don’t get drunk. The wine tastes great but don’t have more than two glasses. If her father asks you to join him for an after dinner drink make sure to pace yourself. Unless it’s a party and you’re not driving!
If you stay the night:
-Don’t sleep in the same room as your girlfriend. Respect her parents by sleeping in the basement or on the couch in the TV room. Even if it’s uncomfortable suck it up - it’s only one night.
-Don’t use the main bathroom. Every house has a main bathroom, which is usually on the main floor of a house. Nothing is worse than going into a smelly bathroom after someone blew it up or hearing the sound of pee hitting the toilet water. Find another bathroom go to. Go fast and make sure the bathroom looks nice when you leave. That means no skid marks in the toilet!
-Pack everything you need. Bring your own bathroom supplies, towel and clothes. It’s embarrassing to ask to borrow something so it’s not a bad idea to over pack.
-Thank her parents. Last and most importantly, make sure to say thank you to her parents for everything. It’s also good to follow up with a hand written note a thanking them. This will make them really like you.
It’s over so drink a beer and relax. If you hated the parents do NOT tell your girlfriend. If anything, tell her how you can’t wait to see them again. Feel free to add some more tips in the comment section below!