#many selves

[passagesandpages]

Self is a plurality, but pluralities can also be integrated, right? Think of a rainbow. It's one arc of light, but also seven differently colored arcs of light.

John Green, Turtles All The Way Down

[xartus]

I've been trying to figure out why I so badly crave touch and cuddling and stuff. Not even by a person, just something alive. (Well, yes, by a person. Doesn't have to be a human person)

I'm like, is it the autism, the OCD, my upbringing and the trauma I have??? Why is everyone else so okay with being alone and without touch and closeness with other living things and I'm not?

But like....what if I'm not lacking something. What if its something I've never lost. I'm a mammal. One of the most social animals to ever exist. And society beats that out of people. What if it hasn't beaten it out of me and that's why I'm so sensitive?

I feel often like I've lost my pack, or my herd, or my mate or family unit, and I'm wandering around trying to survive, and go back to my den and howl and no one answers because everyone else thinks this is normal. No one howls anymore, not like I do

[dailyimpulses]

And now I am trying to do my response for psych class and am just talking in circles about whether people have a true self or if we are just made up of different personas that are just performances and am getting very confused. I think I have been sitting on the couch by myself for too long.