for a moment, yuji is thrilled she doesn’t have anything negative about her dancing. she can deal with being a copycat-- that’s okay. she did it, and it was a near perfect replica which is good, in her book. they bring up individuality and creativity in herself and yuji is-- she’s on board with it.
and then they bring up guided meditation sessions and journaling. which is kinda...silly. very silly, yuji decides on-- especially when she fills up that journal for the first few days with various of ideas and things she could have done to improve her performance.
mixing the track, adding a sample. she could have messed around with it, made it slower when it needed to be. made it more aggressive, harshen the beat before lightening it. make a story out of it. maybe even using the bare minimum of choreography knowledge she knows to add something else to it that made it less yuna and more yuji in full. there are ideas full blast in her head, but after she exerts them all, she’s only a couple days into the month and she’s still got days to go.
the meditation isn’t terrible. it’s calming, in a way-- the way it’s likely designed to be, but yuji doesn’t like the self discovery prompts the most. because while the meditation makes her settle and think and sift through her thoughts, the journaling has her confront them head-on. which isn’t ideal for her.
describe yourself using the first 10 words that come to mind. then, list 10 words that you’d like to use to describe yourself.
what helps you stay focused and motivated when you feel discouraged?
how do you want to be remembered?
it feels like the sort of stuff in magazine columns, on articles in the side column desperate for a click. stuff people rave on and on about that yuji typically scrolls by without a thought in her head. but with her coach urging her along, and with nothing else to do during free practice without feeling guilty-- she scribbles out answers.
confident. hard-working. determined. stubborn. prideful. observant. thoughtful. envious. overbearing. selfish(?). hard-working. confident. thoughtful. hopeful. competent. (a couple words scribbled out-- question mark. come back later scribbled in the corner.)
keeping busy helps focus. spite pushes me forward. knowing i’m surpassing expectations after being drug through the dirt fuels me to keep going. the feeling of pride after turmoil.
how do i want to be remembered? as myself.
but who is that? how do you properly describe something you want to achieve and strive for when you’re changing every day?
in the end, she just does what she can or has the patience for and moves on. the prompts get easier to answer as the days pass, and during her meditation sessions, focuses on the questions she can’t answer and tries to figure out why. some questions get their answers, and others...pushed to the back burner for another day.
when the end of the month approaches, and she’s greeting the coach that’s helped her through-- her smile is awkward, maybe a bit stilted. going over it is the hardest part, sifting through what is good to say and what doesn’t need to be said. things that don’t matter or what they don’t want to hear, what yuji doesn’t want to admit or say.
the coach’s expression doesn’t really change, listening and attentive, so yuji just talks. lets out all her thoughts that’s been through the okay to say filter in her head. it’s probably the most she’s talked one on one in a while. says how she could apply what she’s learned to performance-- how to turn her anger and spite and pride into a weapon for the stage, in a sense. she talks so much her mouth is a little dry at the end, and she’s winded-- but her shoulders feel light. her chest doesn’t feel as tight anymore.
a starter for @bechaeyeon
( so much for stardust )
yuji doesn’t have the worst mission for the month. sure, it’s a little silly, but she breezes through guided meditation sessions quickly. yuji knows how to think and introspect-- it’s all she ever does anyway. writing it down for her eyes to see and remind her is the hardest part, but she gets through it.
chaeyeon’s however is...strange. the point of it isn’t lost on her, but it certainly feels silly. yuji can’t imagine how awkward it is-- and she definitely is thankful that she doesn’t have to it. she does feel bad for the other girl though.
yuji looks up from her journal, twirling a pen between her fingers as she eyes the younger. humming softly, she drops her gaze back down to the paper, and begins doodling. “how’s the lesson in romantics?” she asks conversationally, though it sounds funny to her ears. yuji’s unable to help the small snort that leaves her, pursing her lips quickly after to stifle. she lifts her gaze up, offering chaeyeon a sympathetic, albeit a little pitying smile. “sorry, i couldn’t resist.”
