March headcanon/analysis no one asked for : ───────────────────────────────── 8 hearts event spoilers / Trauma headcanon / Game dialogue & backstory interpretation
I remember the first time I saw this scene. I thought it was relatable and just rolled with the ''workaholic perfectionist under pressure'' narrative. I didn't think much more of it. He's also shown slow but willingness to open up, diligently. Very very slow but I think it's a nice realistic growth in a way? This guy wants to heal surely. So I re-watched it recently..
And then it hit me.
This guy got some massive mommy issues huh? damn. I don't know why I didn't read it like that the first time. And as much as he seems to want to heal, it's not there yet. I feel like he might understand how emotionally charged this sounds in his situation? Proud of himself? Then what does his mother's legacy have to do with his pride? Bro?? He's getting there.. He's so close. Unless he already knows but only opens up with what he's comfortable sharing for now. Also, consider this. Right before that, Olric clearly triggered him by talking about how their mother would be proud. The anger and avoidance storms back in so fast.
It's not just about being proud of himself and he knows it. He's just trying to prove himself he's above that but damn he's really not. Even if he knows. And it's not just about abandonment, or this one time they never came back. It's not just the idea that there's still an irrational fear of being left behind after an accident... Or anger that they left them on their own this one time..
This was their usual.
Talk about inconsistent parenting lol. And honestly, when the only dialogue we get about them is only about their work, how they worked together, how they moved for their business, etc. No shit bro feels pressure, craves approval in his accomplishments, pushes his own high expectations on the farmer at first, can't ask for help, and is insecure as hell. I'm surprised he ain't coping with alcohol more than that!
The only thing missing would be for him to fail the farmer in one way or an other, and he'd absolutely break and push himself away again. The pressure is on making the people he loves proud of him, pushing others away is the relief. But this pressure is based on his own expectations because he didn't grow with a consistent parental figure. No one taught him how to feel proud about himself beyond his accomplishments. And Olric was just a kid too. There's no way he could've provided for March when he didn't even get that himself. Josephine and Hemlock have their own kids and their own jobs too... This guy could've never been enough for his parents to stay, or for the townsfolk to stay.. And I can only feel the subtleties in his dialogues now. How goddamn scared he is if you mention you used to do gig jobs. He almost sounds like he's trying to prove himself you cannot be like his parents. If you were, he'd be in denial.
Oh how much he must hate himself for having feelings for someone despite it all. Sure, he didn't want to depend on anyone. But now that he's letting someone in, it doesn't magically go away.
Every day you stay in town is an other day where he's proven wrong. This is constant. This is still present.
I'm wondering how much he'd be aware of all that? How much he keeps to himself still. Or if he's truly oblivious while fighting with himself. A push and pull of fear, trust issues, wish for closeness..
At the same time, he'd probably not think twice at the idea of marrying the farmer if asked. It would fill this crave for security.. The idea that he might have been proven wrong since you wish to settle in for good. Might be the case until anxiety settles back in. ...
But considering the type of game this is, I don't expect him to self-sabotage the relationship while trying to figure this out. That'd hit hard though.