~ Just a { D R E A M }~
{~♥~} Wake up. Wake up. WAKE UP! The train of a white gown dragged on floor with every step that the young woman took as she walked into the church building. None of her friends could bare to look at her, not after what happened. Her smile all but disappeared that day; the day that Eren showed up at her door step, fist against his chest, and recited the monologue.
"You look so beautiful in white." He told her one day, smiling at her with the smile he only ever showed her. His arms had laced around her waist, and without hesitation, he picked her up and spun her around in his arms. She laughed and he kissed her softly. "I can't wait til I make you my wife." She smiled sadly at his words but shook her head. "Levi, I'm not ready..." He nodded, still smiling and holding her close. "I know. It's alright. I'll wait forever if I have to."
I was counting on forever, Levi. Now I'll never know. She didn't bother listening to what the priest was saying. How many times has she gone to a fallen solider's funeral with Levi? By now she had memorized every line, but now his name was said instead of someone she probably had never met.
Why didn't I tell him... Why did I never say I love you? The tears she had been holding back were chocking her, but she didn't utter a peep. In her mind she was screaming, damning herself for being so afraid of love. She could have told him that first night they spent together. “I’m going to tell you something, I’ve never told anyone before. So don’t you dare laugh at me... I love you, Marcy." He had told her. She had seen on his face how hard it was for him to say that, after all the pain he had gone through to the point that he wouldn't even smile or utter a kind word anymore. Yet he said those words to her, because he really fell in love.But what did she tell him? “I… think I love you too? I’m not going to lie, I don’t remember what love feels like.”
What kind of shit answer what that? She had asked him to teach her how to love again, because after all that time in solitude, she had forgotten; and he had done that for her. He taught her what love was every day that they spent together. So why did she let the fear hold her back? Why hadn't she ever said those three simple words that meant the whole world to her?
The procession in the church ended and his body laid there in the casket. Chocolate eyes that used to hold so much light were dull as she stared at him. "I love you." She whispered, reaching out to gently touch his chest where a heart used to beat-- just for her. He couldn't here her now but she still wanted to say it. Why hadn't she said it before? The words felt so good on her tongue. "I love you, Levi."
"Marcelle?" A strong hand rested on her shoulders. "Yes, Erwin?" She answered in her monotone voice. The man sighed and pulled a little box from his pocket. "He... wanted you to have this..." Her eyes widened when it saw the diamond ring. No. This wasn't for her. "There's a note too." Erwin said gently, seeing the girl's shocked face. Her eyes skimmed over the words and she wouldn't help it anymore. Cupping her hand over her mouth, the tears she had been trying so hard to hold back began to cascade down her cheeks.
Marcelle,
I wrote this just in case anything ever happened to me before I proposed. Life as a soldier is unpredictable; any moment we have to make spit decisions, hard decisions that would effect everyone. One moment we might have thought one thing, then the next our minds would change. Our plans were fluid, most of the time plans didn't follow through and promises never kept. All of this is true for a solider, but not true about how I feel about you. I know you are going to blame yourself for not saying those three words that I wanted to hear: DON'T! It's selfish of me for wanting to hear it. I know you aren't ready, and that's okay. I know how it feels to be afraid to love. I want you to take your time and say it when you're ready. I'll wait for you forever if I have to.
You may find another man now that I'm gone, and I'll be okay with that. I want you to be happy. I always loved that smile of yours. I'd do anything to keep it on those pretty lips. Still, please keep this ring with you. I told you I would love you always and forever. Even death won't break that promise. This is not a goodbye, my love, but only a long period of us being a part. I will find you again, even if it takes me a million lifetimes. I want forever with you and only you; nothing will change my mind about that. I love you, Marcelle. I can't wait to see you again and finally have our forever, together.
With love, always and forever,
Levi