It had been a long time since Adriana set foot on this porch. She used to cross it's path everyday, but standing there now she felt as if she might fall right through. Her hand grabbed the railing despite knowing it was only her mind playing tricks on her during a terrible time. "Marcus?" She called out, bringing her other hand up to knock lightly on the door. "Marcus? Are you home?" She tried again, trying to listen for any movement on the other side of the door. "Please be home." She whispered quietly to herself as she waited.
The last thing Adriana thought would happen in her day was her private texts getting sent to the entire town. At first, she wasn't sure who to call first about the matter, Max or Marcus. All she knew was that this look bad. She grabbed her keys off the counter and was at the home within minutes, letting herself in through the front door and up the steps to where Marcus was. "Marcus, before you say or think anything. I know that it looks bad, but it is not what you think it is." Adriana knew the truth; she knew that nothing had ever happened between her and Max. It was just a matter of what Marcus would believe from them.
Ana sat at the bar counter, popping olives into her mouth that were meant for the martinis. She was enjoying herself in her tipsy state, feeling the drinks she had consumed flow through her. Moving her head along to the music blaring around her, her eyes caught sight of a familiar face approaching her. Almost choking on the olives still in her mouth, she sat up straighter and swallowed them. "Marcus.. hey. Been a while, huh.." She said slowly, trying to compose herself as calm.
It was not how she imagined the day going, none of it had gone right.
As she stood at the table that held all the gifts lined up, Adriana ran her fingers against the wrapping paper of the large box laid up against the table. She moved her fingers across each present as she walked. Her mind was anywhere but the party she was hosting.
Throughout the entire event, Ana felt like she was a ghost. Moving through each stage, faking each smile, small talking every conversation the best she could. The best anyone with a broken heart could manage.
There wasn’t a moment that she didn’t try to meet her eyes with Maxs from across the room, just for him to never return the gaze. She had broken their family before even giving them the chance. They would welcome this little girl with open arms and hearts full of love, but they would welcome her into a world of betrayal that her own mother had created. The thought of it brought a sickness to Anas stomach, as if the baby in there already knew.
He joins her at the table as people start to gather around them. There isn’t time for any of the words Adriana wants to say to him now that they are side by side again. She only has a few seconds until everyone is close enough to hear what falls from her lips. She leans in, her hand laid gently on his chest as she whispers.
“Thank you for staying. I’m sorry this is hard.”
It’s all she can get out before she has to turn to the guests inside her home. A house that now holds a strange feeling for her because it doesn’t feel like home to her. Home isn’t a place anymore, the word takes new meaning in the form of Max. This place is nothing but walls and a bed, there is nothing homely about the emptiness it shares without him there.
Still, Adriana keeps the pretend smile on her face as they sort through the gifts together. Lingering at the moments their hands connect on the same piece of paper or moving of a bag. Each one sends a sharp pain through her heart, the absence of his touch already starting to sink into her, though she doesn’t let it show. With all eyes on them, including her father who stands behind the crowd but still easy to spot. She keeps up with the show, and doesn't let the facade falter. She does things the Martinez way.
The final gift sits in front of her and Ana can feel a wave of relief hit her as the ending starts to approach. All she wants is for this to finish, for one more chance to get Max alone and talk. The only thing she can think about is fixing things with Max, until she opens the card attached to the beautifully wrapped box before her.
‘Love, Marcus.’
Her hands start to shake immediately. The card would have fallen to the ground if it wasn’t for Max taking it from her hands.
Even in her state of shock Adriana has to know what lies under the wrapping paper. Her hands move fast to rip the paper off the top before anyone can move her out of the way, tearing through to get the box open. An instant regret when her eyes meet with the lifeless ones of Nicos.
Her eyes move up to the crowd at the sound of a scream. She doesn’t even realize that it’s coming from her own mouth until she hears Max yelling at the others to stay away.
Adriana stumbles backward, holding her hand over her mouth as she drops her gaze to Nico again. A part of her wants to reach out, to grab him and shake him. To scream at him and tell him that his jokes have never been funny. But she knows the joke doesn’t come from him this time, that’s it’s been played on the both of them.
She can’t help the loud sobs that come from deep within her as she is pulled away from the scene. Her fathers grip on her arm is tight as he takes her out of the room, Ana turning her head back to see only the top of Nicos head now. She finds it hard to keep herself from looking at him, from feeling the pain of knowing the days he’d never have now.
She mourns the days they had together.
"He's dead.." She manages to mumble through her sobs, her father the only thing keeping her standing up straight.
There is a violent ache inside of her, something she hadn’t felt since the news of Marcus was delivered on her doorstep here. This house was not a home, it was a beacon for all the pain she’d hold in her life.
ana: hi baby
ana: been thinking about you a lot today
ana: can't stop hearing you in my head telling me to take deep breathes during all of this
ana: i'd say it's annoying, like i always told you before
ana: but truthfully i'm scared one day it'll stop and i'll forget what your voice sounds like
ana: i miss you
something in the orange tells me you're never comin' home
ft. @marcusxshaw, tw: grief
The world keeps spinning.
“My father is going to kill you!” A young Adriana laughs. Her hand is clasped tightly with his as they run through the fields of Hagfield, mud covering her once perfectly white dress and her sandals hanging from her fingertips. Before him there was never any disobedience to her fathers rules, never any laughter like there was now. As they hit the edge of the field, Adriana leaped forward and tackled an eighteen year old Marcus to the ground. Sitting on top of him as she giggled and looked down at him, “You’re gonna marry me one day, Marcus Shaw.”
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"Adriana?"
She can hear the voice calling to her, it sounds miles away but she can hear it.
"Adriana, we know this news is hard but we need you to stay with us now."
It’s only been minutes since she received the news that her husband was dead. She hadn’t even had the time to process what was happening before her entire view went blurry.
She sat with a stone face in the chair in her dining room.
When they had showed up here with news that Marcus had turned up, Adrianas heart started beating faster than it ever had before.
Thank God, was all she could think.
Until she saw the look on their faces, so full of pity and sorrow.
“Your husband did not survive. We are so sorry to tell you that he was found deceased.” Was what they had told her and all Adriana could do was stare back at them.
“Can we get you some water or something?” The voice called out again.
This brought her back to the reality she was in.
She didn’t want water.
She wanted her husband.
Adriana stood to her feet, her hand flying up to her forehead to try and settle the dizziness that came with it. It was all too much for her to process.
“I need you both to leave.” She looked between both officers before turning on her heels to head for the front door. She swung it open and stared at them without saying anything. They understand, they had taken the hint that she was not going to accept any help they had to offer her.
The door slammed from her hand pushing against it and Adriana stood there holding herself up with her arms outstretched against the door. Her head hanging down between her shoulders as her eyes stayed locked onto the floor below her.
All she could think about was the last time she had heard his voice. The last time she had seen him. How stupid every fight they ever had seemed now. How much more Adriana regretted the year she left, an entire year of memories with him she would never have.
The movement it took for Adriana to find herself on the floor with her head cradling in her hands was fast. Her loud sobs muffled by her wrists pressed against her ears but the pain in her chest rang louder to her than her cries ever could. There was no stopping this, no amount of money her father could throw at it to make it all go away. She was forced to face the world around her now.
As she laid there curled up on the parlor floor, holding herself the way she wished he would. In a way that he never would again. All that flashed through her mind were the only pieces she had left of him. She pulled the sleeve of Marcus’ old sweatshirt sleeve overtop of her palms, bringing it as close to her face as she possibly could. Closing her eyes as the tears continued to soak her face, taking in the last smell of him she had.
“Do you like it?” Adriana stood in Marcus’ bedroom, twenty-three years of age. She held up a navy blue sweatshirt with bold white embroidered letters on it next to a stitched palm tree. It read ‘Someone who loves me went to Florida and all they got me was this sweatshirt.’. The dark haired girl laughed as she re-read the gift she was holding. “I saw it in one of those dumb shops before we left and I thought you needed it.” She had just returned back home from spending two years away in her hometown back in Florida. Adriana folded the sweatshirt up and set it down on the bed before wrapping her arms around his torso and looking up at him. “I missed you so much.”
Her breathing was heavy and there were moments she felt like she couldn’t breathe. There was no way she could move from the spot she was currently in, afraid that her legs would betray her the same way the world had. She stayed on the cold hard floor, sobbing through the new reality she was faced with while others held their loved ones close that night. Echos of his voice continue to fill her head.
“I, Marcus Shaw, take you Adriana Martinez, to be my wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, til death do us part.”
