I know your probably not going to see this since you have so many asks but I’m going to try anyway
Could you do relationship headcanons with the Elden ring girls?
(Whatever ones is up to you since I want to see which ones you will pick)
Oh ye of little Faith Anon!
Also, I decided to go the angst route for Marika and Melina so fair warning for that.
Now, since you gave me free rein to choose… My Wish Is My Command!
Malenia was not much of a talker.
She liked her alone time.
That said, she did like listening to others talk on occasion.
She especially liked listening to people talking about normal, everyday life.
It was a guilty pleasure of hers.
To hear about the simple things.
Hugging those they care for close.
Kissing the ones they love.
All the things she rarely ever felt.
But then, one day, she met you.
It was a complete accident, something that, if she had stepped on a different piece of the cobble path, never would’ve happened.
While she was walking the path, her head in the clouds, she caught her still flesh and bone foot on a broken piece of stone.
She, of course, was able to return herself to being upright near instantly.
Though… not without accidentally smacking you in the nose with her prosthetic.
Her unalloyed golden metal prosthetic.
Needless to say, you were bleeding.
Badly.
And Malenia, for all her grace and strength on the battlefield, was absolutely horrible when it came to people.
So, Malenia being the expert in Diplomacy she is, grabbed you by the back of your collar, and dragged you off without a word, nose still absolutely pouring blood.
And that is how you got here.
Sitting on a chair in THE Malenia’s room, pieces of cotton stuck up your nose as the red headed woman paced the room, not saying a single word.
This was an absolutely surreal experience.
An actual Demi-God, someone who could cut down an army with ease, had just accidentally wacked you in the face, dragged you into her room, and was pacing the floor like she had just committed some grand, unforgivable crime.
It was just a bloody nose, not even broken.
She looked like she was about to collapse from stress.
You were pretty sure she was about to wear a hole into the ground with how fast she was pacing.
“U-uh Lady Malenia?” you tentatively asked.
The red head went rigid and turned to you in a manner more akin to an automaton from the Academy Of Raya Lucaria than a humanoid creature.
“I am Malenia, Blade Of Miquella.” Malenia declared without room for response or retort, leaving the room in complete and utter silence as you looked directly into the helm she wore.
It was now that a knock on the door rang through the room, and a wave of relief ran through both parties.
“Malenia! I heard you dragged someone into your room! Did you get a Consort and not tell your favorite sibling!?” a joyous and booming voice cried through the door.
“Consort? Me?” you muttered in confusion.
“Miquella is my favorite sibling.” Malenia stated bluntly, seemingly causing a physical impact to the person on the other side.
“Then your biggest Sibling!” the voice declared joyously.
“Radahn is my biggest sibling.” Malenia stated in the same tone of voice, causing direct harm to the speaker.
“I am going to smite you with lightning.” the voice declared in an oddly happy voice despite the very real threat.
“You can try, Godwyn. I will simply cut the lightning.” Malenia declared.
The door was promptly thrown open and the giant blonde man in the doorway shouted.
“YOU CAN’T CUT LIGHTNING!!!”
“Has anyone tried it before?” Malenia asked.
“No-” Godwyn began before getting cut off.
“Then I shall be the first, and I shall succeed.” Maleina declared in her eternally even tone of voice.
Godwyn moved to advise against this ill fated endeavor but then, he noticed the guest in the room.
He looked at you for a few moments, perplexed, before walking over to Malenia and dragging her out of the room by her ear.
A few moments later, a young Blonde poked his head into the room.
“Excuse me, but have you seen my sister Malenia?” the blonde asked.
“Uhm… you just missed her. Lord Godwyn dragged her off somewhere.” you responded.
“Hmm… I see. Thank you.” the blonde muttered before walking off.
Then, you heard the stomping of running feet and the blonde shot into the room, shouting.
“WHO IN THE ERDTREE ARE YOU!?”
This was how you met the children of Queen Marika The Eternal.
The Demi-Gods that are feared and respected by all.
Malenia, The Blade Of Miquella, a woman of impossible strength, grace, and to you, beauty. She was also pathetically inept when it came to social interaction.
Godwyn The Golden, a man of immense power and lauded as one of the greatest diplomats in history. He had a habit of saying terrifying things with a happy voice and a smile.
Miquella The Unalloyed, a being of unparalleled intelligence and magical power. He tended to have his head stuck in the clouds.
It was such an odd thing to see.
Especially considering your new job that you received as an apology for Maleina accidentally striking you.
You were now the official “Cultural Examiner”.
Also known as, the person who Malenia pays to hear talk about the day to day life of those who lived normal lives.
If there is one thing Marika needs in her life, it is a singular fixed point, an unmoving and unbreaking rock in a rough sea.
That was all she asked you to be, and the only thing she would ever request of you.
To be someone to lean on when she needed it.
She wasn’t supposed to catch feelings for you.
She wasn’t supposed to spend her nights thinking about you.
She wasn’t supposed to start to see you as more than an advisor.
But, she did.
And for years, she suffered for it.
She said she would only ever ask one thing of you, and that is an oath she intended to keep.
No matter how much she wished to ask you what you thought of her as only you had ever truly seen.
A person.
No matter how much she wished to ask you who if anyone you liked.
She occasionally caught herself thinking of you telling her that she was the one you liked.
She wanted to ask you if she was a fool for acting like a young love sick maiden in her private moments.
She knew she was.
But… she still liked to have her dreams.
Even if the nightmares were far more numerous.
Still, even if you felt the same feelings for her… could she even reciprocate them?
The blood on her hands… Her chains to the Golden Order… Her own innumerable sins… she couldn’t force that on you.
And yet… the want to simply sit with you and mumble and grumble about whatever minor inconveniences came to mind overpowered her again and again and again.
She knew she needed to stop on the off chance you reciprocate her feelings since she knew she wouldn’t be able to stop herself from saying yes.
But she couldn’t.
And that was the only thing related to you she didn’t know how to feel about.
Melina The Kindling Maiden
Melina was born to burn.
She knew that from the moment she could comprehend the world.
Her existence was to find a Tarnished without a maiden, serve that role, and then when they reached the mountaintops, use herself as the match to burn the Erdtree.
Not once had this ever bothered her.
But now, as she stood on the edge of the forge with you, her Tarnished, on the ground behind her…
She wished she had a little bit more time with you.
To watch the person who charmed her with their strange antics and many eccentricities.
To eat Prawn with you and Boggart.
To sit by a grace and wait out the rain.
To spend the night under the stars.
To simply spend the day as the two of you always did.
But… Now that was but a sweet dream.
There was only one thing to do before she burned.
She knew better than to turn and face you.
But, that did nothing to stop the tears pricking at her eyes.
“Torrent, please, I beg of thee. Watch over My Tarnished as best you can.”
“Beloved Ranni, you know all someone would have to do to ruin that oh so perfect persona you have cultivated is to knock your books out from under you.” You told the witch with a cheshire grin.
“I have no idea what you mean, I have no mask to wea- FATHERS BALLSACK!!!” Ranni squealed as a single book was removed from the stack, sending her tumbling right into your arms.
“There she is! Ranni, the one whose mouth your mother had to wash out with soap more than anyone can ever hope to count.” you told the doll-like woman with a teasing grin as you twirled around with her.
“Wh- You son of a-” Ranni began to say, preparing to go on a tirade before stopping.
That was exactly what you wanted out of her.
For her to prove your point.
Instead-
“Ack! Cold! Cold!” you began to cry as Ranni wrapped her arms around you.
Ranni was never the type to be above pettily pranking someone.
Especially not you.
After all, if you were to be her Consort you had to know what you were getting into.
