Butterflies
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Castiel loved band, he loved music, but honestly? Marching band camp was hell. It was hot, bright, his feet ached, and his arms were sore from holding up his flute. But he had a bottle of Biofreeze waiting in his locker, and that thought alone was going to get him through the next hour of drills. He sighed, coming to attention and bringing his flute up as their trillionth drill for this movement began. They got about four bars into it before Mr. Turner called it quits, turning his attention on the clarinets and sending Naomi down to talk to the section leader about positioning. Castiel dropped his flute, twirling it absently in one hand before stretching his arms out behind him and turning on the spot, knowing better than to stray too far from his mark between drills. He let his eyes flicker over the blocking, watching the different sections talking amongst themselves, the drumline stretching after unhooking their drums from their shoulders. He snorted, watching the brass players rubbing their numb lips, before making eye contact with Dean Winchester, who smirked, biting his lower lip and fucking winking at Castiel. Cas started, immediately averting his eyes and blushing. He and Dean had started talking during the summer before camp began, and Cas' already present crush had grown exponentially as they'd gotten to know each other better. Dean was one year above Castiel, and perfect. He was gorgeous, smart, charming, and hilarious. He wrote an opinion column for the school paper, and had won awards, had some of his short stories published. He was also a terrible flirt, especially to Castiel. When they'd finally met in person on the first day of camp, Dean had told him he was cute when he smiled, and had grinned at him when his face colored immediately. He now took every opportunity to smile or wink at Cas, knowing how it affected him. Mr. Turner got their attention again, calling for one more run through of the movement before lunch. Cas groaned internally, shaking out his arms and steeling himself for one more run.
~~~
When lunch was finally called, after they'd marched back to the school to the sound of the drumline's cadences, the students scattered, many going to their lockers and depositing their instruments, gathering various essentials before either settling in the Performing Arts' Center lobby or heading out to their cars to go off campus for lunch. Cas beelined to the bathroom before leaving. As he was washing his hands he felt eyes on him, and looked up to meet Dean's green eyes in the mirror. He blushed a little, dropping his eyes and finishing up. Dean sauntered forward, leaning on the counter next to Castiel, looking him up and down before licking his lips and grinning, meeting Cas' eyes. "Hey Cas." "Hello, Dean." Castiel's eyes dropped to Dean's mouth, red and swollen from his trumpet mouthpiece. His lips were already pink and plump, and the swelling just made them more enticing. "Where ya goin' for lunch?" Cas shrugged, running his wet hands through his hair to cool down before drying his hands. He jumped when he felt fingers smoothing his hair down, and shuddered, closing his eyes and stilling. Dean finished fixing Cas' hair to his liking, stepping back and grinning flirtatiously at Castiel when he opened his eyes slowly to look up at him. "So, no lunch plans?" Opening his mouth, Castiel stuttered on his words before shaking his head. He swallowed. "No."
"Well, you're welcome to come with me any day you want." Dean winked, backing toward the door. "Offer's always on the table." He gave Castiel a two-finger salute before leaving. Cas exhaled all the breath in his body, leaning heavily on the counter. He closed his eyes, calming himself before the loud rumbling of his stomach shocked him into action, and he gathered himself before heading out to grab some food before he missed the chance.
~~~
Band camp dragged on, Castiel often distracted by the flirtations of Dean Winchester. He was able to focus enough to nail his blocking and not fuck up his part too much, but anytime Dean got close to him, his brain turned to static. On one of the last days of camp, Cas' ride had to leave early, leaving Cas to scramble for a ride, or risk walking the 45 minutes home on already aching legs. "Meg, come on, you owe me." "Sorry, Clarence," Meg shrugged, spinning one of her drumsticks between her fingers "drumline has practice with the pit tonight for our floor show. Starts right after camp. Singer is feeding us so we don't have to leave." Cas groaned, rubbing a hand over his face. "How long is practice, maybe I can kill some time." "By the time practice is even half over you could have walked home, and stopped for ice cream." She shrugged, ruffling Castiel's hair. "Tough luck, Clarence." "Yeah, right. Thanks anyway, Meg." Cas trudged away, dropping to the floor and leaning back against the brick wall, pulling out his cell to text Gabe, and finding it dead. Annoyed, he dropped it on the floor, propping his elbows on his knees and burying his face in his hands. "What's up, angel? You look upset." Castiel's head snapped up, finding Dean squatting down in front of him. He'd developed a tan line from his sunglasses on the sides of his face, and his freckles were more pronounced than Cas had ever seen. He closed his mouth with a click when he realized he was staring and shrugged, feigning nonchalance. "It's not a big deal, Chuck had to bail early for an appointment, and Meg has drumline tonight, so I'm kind of stranded." He tilted his head up to look at Dean, who was watching him. "Well hell, Cas, if a ride is all you need, I can take you home." Dean smiled kindly at him. "What, really?" Castiel's eyes widened, and he sat up. Dean laughed lightly, nodding. "Yeah, Cas. It's not far." "You know where I live?" Dean's face darkened, and he cleared his throat, shrugging. "We rode the same bus my sophomore year, before dad died and I got Baby." "You noticed me freshman year?" Cas felt like someone had filled his chest with helium. "Hard not to notice eyes like yours, angel." Dean winked, before standing up and holding his hand out to help Castiel up. "You got stuff to get, or are you ready?" Castiel was staring at his hand in Dean's, and looked up sharply, his cheeks heating when he found Dean smirking at him. "Sorry, what?" Dean chuckled, shaking his head. "You need anything before we go?" He let go of Cas' hand, reaching in the pocket of his basketball shorts and pulling out his keys. "No, I'm ready. Wait, no." He spun, grabbing his cell off the floor and shoving it in his pocket. "Okay yeah now I'm ready." Pursing his lips, Dean nodded, taking a few steps backward before jerking his head in the direction of the side doors. "I'm this way."
~~~
Riding in Dean's car was a sexual experience, Castiel was sure. The rumble of the engine, the age softened leather under him, Dean singing under his breath along with the radio. It raised goosebumps on Cas' arms. They stopped at a red light and Dean turned to him, smiling. "You okay over there, Cas?" He nudged at Castiel's shoulder, fingers lingering. Castiel glanced over at him, nodding. "Yeah," He cleared his throat. "I just really like your car." Dean beamed, running his hand affectionately over the dashboard. "Yeah, she's great. I hate driving her to school though, I'll probably drive the truck I had before this once school starts, I don't trust all the kids fresh outta driver's ed not to scratch her." Cas hummed his agreement, nodding at the green light ahead of them, and Dean winked as he pulled away. At the curb in front of Cas' house, he paused with his hand on the door handle, turning to Dean. "Thank you, Dean, really. You don't know how much I appreciate this." "No problem, Cas. Like I said, not far." "Well, regardless, I'm grateful." "You can pay me back another time." Dean winked at Castiel, and bit back a smile when Cas immediately blushed. "Yeah. Okay, well, bye. Thanks again." "Later, angel." Cas scurried up the walk to his house, walking in the unlocked door and waving at Dean from the doorway as he drove off, before closing the door and slumping against it. Dean Winchester was ruining his life.
~~~
The beginning of school came and everyone settled into their routines relatively quickly, and it seemed like they hadn't even been back a week before the first competition came around. Cas had managed to secure a spot on the same bus as Dean, thanks to Meg finding the list before him and jotting down both their names. Their first competition went pretty smoothly, his school taking third place in the field show and first for the drumline's floor show. The ride back was energetic, everyone caught up in the high of the first competition. Dean sat on the other side of the bus, a row up from Castiel, and met his eyes occasionally, throwing him a wink or a flirty smile. Castiel's confidence had grown some, and he fought back with a wink or two of his own. By the fourth competition, the excitement had died down a bit. This one was farther than the others, a three hour drive each way, and the bus was almost silent on the drive back, the late hour taking its toll, despite their first place wins in both field and drumline shows. The low buzzing of quiet conversations blended in to the white noise of the bus, and Cas found himself nodding off without his headphones. He caught himself, glancing over to find Meg curled in on herself, asleep with music filtering out from her earbuds. Cas decided to follow suit, plugging his into his phone and leaning his head against the seat in front of him. He must have fallen asleep, because he woke to an incessant tapping on his shoulder. He sat up, looking back at the source of the tapping, and found Dean on his knees on his seat behind Cas, leaning over the back of Castiel's seat. He motioned for Cas to take out his earbuds, and smiled when Cas did so. Dean shifted suddenly, leaning over the back of the seat and crowding into Castiel's space, stopping just in front of his face, his breath on Cas' lips. Cas sucked in a quiet breath, and felt more than saw Dean smile. He pulled back, looking at Cas with a grin. "Did you get butterflies?" Cas nodded, dumbstruck. "I love that feeling." Dean murmured, before sitting back in his seat, and leaving Cas' heart in his throat. Castiel swallowed, his mind reeling to make sense of what the hell just happened. He turned around, still stunned, and replaced his headphones, confusion burning hot on his face as he zoned out the last part of the trip home.
~~~
Once they were back at school with the buses empty and the trucks unloaded, Cas shoved his flute case in his locker and leaned against it, sighing heavily and moving to find Meg to take him home. He saw her talking to Crowley, one of the tuba players, smiling her predatory smile at him as he twirled a lock of her hair around his finger. Castiel shuddered. Not worth it. He sighed, rubbing at his tired eyes and running a hand through his hair. He had to go outside, the early October air already holding a light chill, enough to clear his head. He leaned against the building, breathing deeply before fishing his phone out to dial up Gabe to come get him. A familiar rumble that vibrated his bones made him look up, finding Dean leaning across his passenger seat to look at Cas through the open window. "Need a ride, angel?" Castiel shook his head. "No thanks, I've had enough butterflies for one night." He started walking, nevermind that it was the wrong direction for where he needed to go if Gabe was going to pick him up, though he still hadn't called him. Dean's face fell, and he crept the massive car forward to even up with Cas. "You're not mad, are you, angel? I was just teasing!" "I'm very aware of that, Dean. It's a strength of yours." Throwing the car in park, Dean got out and strode around the front of the car to stand in front of Castiel, his forehead creased in concern. He reached for Cas' shoulder, but he jerked back, and Dean let his hand hang in the air for a moment before dropping it to his side. He studied Cas' face, leaning his shoulder against the brick in front of Castiel. "Cas, did I cross a line or somethin'?" Castiel dropped his eyes, shrugging. "What lines were there to cross, Dean? We're barely friends." Dean shifted back, rubbing a hand over the back of his neck and sighing quietly. "Cas, let me drive you home." Pushing off the building, Cas tried to move past Dean, but froze when Dean grabbed his arm. "Please let go of me, Dean." "Castiel." Dean spoke softly but sharply, causing Cas to snap his head up to look at him in surprise. "Please let me drive you home." He raised his eyebrows, tightening his hand around Cas' arm a little. "Please." Castiel stared at him for a moment, studying his face, before finally nodding. Dean nodded once, opening the door for Cas to climb in and closing it gently behind him. He circled around to the driver's seat and got in, glancing at Castiel before pulling away from the building and out of the parking lot. They drove for a while in silence, before Cas realized they weren't going to his house. "Where are we going?" "It's a surprise." "Dean..." Dean pulled up to a stop sign, turning to Cas. "Cas, do you trust me?" Castiel considered for a moment, before nodding hesitantly. He'd told his parents he might be staying at Chuck's if the buses got in too late, anyway. He wouldn't be expected home. "Okay." Dean nodded. He turned the radio up to a comfortable level, and drove on. Cas wrapped his arms around himself self-consciously and leaned against the door, head on the window and his eyes on the stars. He felt Dean's eyes on him from time to time, but refused to meet them. After a while, Dean finally pulled to a stop, putting the car in park and turning it off. They were plunged into darkness, and as Castiel's eyes adjusted, he realized they were in the parking lot of a park about ten miles from their town, next to the duck pond. Cas had played here occasionally as a child, his parents dragging him along to watch his siblings play their various sports. Dean glanced at him, waiting until Cas reluctantly looked at him in return, and jerked his head, opening his door and climbing out. Cas sat for a moment before sighing heavily and exiting the vehicle as well, rubbing his hands over his arms as he realized he'd left his jacket in his locker. He jumped as a blanket landed on his shoulders, and watched as Dean walked away from him, leaning on the side of the car, looking out at the water. Castiel pulled the blanket around his shoulders, and joined him. They stood together in the quiet for a bit, watching the moon's reflection in the calm water. "I used to come out here a lot after my dad died." Dean murmured, crossing his arms. "I had nightmares, and ended up getting insomnia because I was afraid to go to sleep. After mom went to bed I'd sneak out and come out here, skip rocks, lay in the grass." He cleared his throat, shifting uneasily. "Sometimes I'd talk to him. Tell him how mad I was at him, and cry." Castiel looked at him, not speaking, but unsure of what to do with the sudden honesty. "He never let me cry. Boys don't cry, all that bullshit. He'd have blown a fuse if he'd found out about me." He huffed a humorless laugh, kicking at the ground. "Found out what?" Castiel's voice was quiet, concern bleeding through. Dean shrugged, glancing at Cas quickly before looking back at the ground, kicking a rock into the water and watching the ripples. "That I like guys." Cas stared at him, processing what he'd just said, before blurting out "You're gay?" Sighing exasperatedly, Dean shoved off the car, running a hand through his hair. "There are other sexualities, it's not just straight and gay, you know." He snapped. Flinching, Cas shrunk back against the car. "I know. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have assumed." He felt the car rock as Dean collapsed heavily against it, leaning his head back against the roof and looking up at the sky. "I'm bi." He finally muttered, shoving his hands nervously in his jacket pockets. Castiel tightened the blanket around himself, nodding slowly. "Hi Bi, I'm Cas." There were no sounds for a moment save for the perfect timing of a cricket, before Dean burst out laughing, covering his face with his hands. "Oh god, Cas, really? Dad jokes?" He dropped his hands, grinning. "That was awful." Cas smiled, ducking his head. He looked up at Dean with a more serious face, studying him. "I thought you might want a tone change." Dean watched him for a moment before pressing his mouth into a line and nodding. "Thanks, Cas." They stood in silence again, breaking eye contact to watch the water again, when suddenly Dean's hand grabbed Cas wrist and pulled him to his side, lifting his finger to his lips. Cas' eyebrows furrowed, but followed Dean's finger when he pointed across the water, where a deer had approached the edge and was drinking, the small ripples spreading across the surface of the water. Cas exhaled a quiet breath, so focused on the deer he didn't realize Dean's fingers were twined with his, until she looked up suddenly and took off, as deer do. Cas jumped at the sudden change, and tightened his hand in Dean's, looking down at their joined hands in confusion. He looked up at Dean, who had tensed next to him. Castiel leaned back against the car again, dropping Dean's hand when the blanket started sliding off his shoulders, pulling it tight around him again and shifting his weight to lean against Dean's side, feeling him relax. "Why did you do that? On the bus?" Cas finally broke the silence, looking at Dean out of the corner of his eye. "I don't know." Dean shrugged, kicking at the dirt again. "I mean, I do love those pre-kiss butterflies, but I shouldn't have done that to you, it wasn't fair. Sorry if I made you uncomfortable." He pulled away from Castiel, pushing off the car on the pretense of a stretch. "Dean, I-" Cas swallowed, rubbing at the back of his neck nervously. "I was-" "Hey, Cas, don't worry, you don't have to make excuses. I fucked up, I can accept that." He was standing closer to the edge of the water with his hands in his pockets, smiling a smile that didn't reach his eyes. "You didn't fuck up." Castiel blurted, immediately blushing, thankful for the dark. "What?" Dean was staring raptly at him, smile gone from his face. "You didn't fuck up," Cas mumbled, avoiding Dean's eyes. "I wasn't uncomfortable." "You weren't?" Dean's voice was closer, and Cas looked up to find him slowly approaching him. Cas met his eyes and shook his head. "So what were you?" Dean was in front of him now, close enough to touch but far enough to give Castiel some semblance of personal space, though he'd never fully grasped the concept. Eyes dropping to the ground, Cas mumbled something inaudible, and Dean took a step closer. "What?" Castiel took a deep breath, steeling himself. He looked up at Dean, watching as something flashed through his eyes that looked a lot like hope. He swallowed nervously. "I was disappointed." Confusion contorted Dean's face, and he took a step back. "Disappointed." Cas reached out, grabbing Dean's arm and pulling him back toward him, ignoring the blanket when it slipped to the ground. He dropped his gaze to the ground, watching as Dean's shoes stopped in front of his. "I was disappointed you didn't kiss me." His confession was met with silence, and he felt his face heat in embarrassment, internally panicking, sure Dean would be able to hear his rabbit heartbeat as he tried to figure out a way out of the situation. "Cas," Dean murmured, and Cas shook his head, blinking rapidly against the tears threatening to fill his eyes. He didn't want to hear Dean's easy let down. He'd let himself hope when Dean said he was bi, but just because he liked guys doesn't mean he liked him. He cursed internally, angry at himself for getting sucked in to Dean Winchester's flirting and thinking it meant anything. "Castiel, look at me." He huffed in annoyance when Cas shook his head again, a tear escaping down his cheek. "Damn it, Cas, look at me!" He grabbed Castiel's chin, forcing his head up and brushing his thumb across Cas' cheek where the tear had fallen. Cas' eyes snapped to Dean's, his brow furrowing in confusion. Dean was studying him, a fond look on his face. "Can I kiss you?" Castiel found himself nodding before his brain decided, and inhaled sharply when Dean pressed close, one hand on Cas' waist. The other combed his hair off his forehead before cupping his jaw. He leaned in, brushing his nose gently against Cas', before ghosting his lips across his. The butterflies fluttered anxiously in Cas' stomach, and he reached for Dean to ground himself, one hand curling in the collar of his jacket and the other hovering hesitantly over Dean's hip. Dean smiled, and just like earlier, Cas felt it more than saw it. He was about to open his mouth to question when Dean closed the small space between them and pressed his lips softly to Castiel's. It was gentle and chaste, and Dean kissed Cas' lower lip as he pulled back, leaning his forehead against Castiel's. He exhaled on a laugh, and pulled back just enough to meet Cas' eyes. "Did you get butterflies?" Cas whispered, and Dean grinned wide, nodding. "Yeah, Cas." "I'm not sure I did." Cas said thoughtfully, and Dean pulled back further to look at him, his eyebrows creasing. Cas tightened his hand in Dean's jacket and pulled him forward again, smiling teasingly. "We should probably try again." Dean huffed, rolling his eyes, pulling a grinning Castiel in by the back of his neck, kissing him again. He sucked Cas' lower lip into his mouth teasing his tongue against it, and hummed in agreement when Castiel groaned softly. Cas leaned back fully against the car, pulling Dean against him, fingers slipping into the front pocket of his jeans. He opened his mouth, inviting Dean in, and both boys made noises of approval when their tongues met, the kiss deepening quickly. They broke apart, panting, and Dean held Cas' face in his hands. "God you're beautiful, Castiel." He leaned in, kissing him again, lips dropping to Cas' jaw, dragging up the shell of his ear. He nosed along Cas' cheekbone, his hand flexing on Castiel's waist. "Fucking gorgeous." He mumbled against Cas' lips before kissing him deeply, pressing Cas against the car. He ran a hand over Castiel's shoulder and down his arm, slipping his fingers between Cas' and squeezing gently. Castiel moaned quietly, snaking his free arm around Dean's neck, carding his fingers through his hair and cradling the back of his head. They pulled apart, panting against the each other's mouths, and Cas smiled, pressing a light kiss to Dean's cheek. "Definitely butterflies." Dean laughed lightly, pulling back to look at Cas and squeezing his hand. "Yeah?" Nodding, Cas smiled shyly. Sighing quietly, Dean dropped his head to Cas' shoulder. "I should probably get you home, huh?" Castiel shrugged, jostling Dean's head. "I told my parents that if the buses got in too late that I might just crash at Chuck's. They're not really expecting me. Dean pulled back, looking at him hopefully. "Really?" He grinned when Cas nodded. "Um, well," he started nervously, scratching at his hair. "Mom is out of town, up in South Dakota visiting Aunt Jody, and since I wasn't going to be home until late, Sammy stayed the night at a friend's house. Do you want to come over?" Hesitating, Cas opened his mouth, but Dean cut him off. "You don't have to. And if you want to, we don't have to do this," he gestured between the two of them. "we can just watch a movie, or play video games, or just sleep. Whatever you want to do, I'm fine with, and-" Cas cut him off with a soft press of his lips. "I would love to come over." He held up a finger when Dean opened his mouth. "I think we might need to talk about what this" he gestured between them as Dean had. "is, but we can figure things out from there. Sleep does sound nice, though." He kissed Dean gently, his lips lingering against Dean's. "Sleeping next to you sounds even better." He smiled when he heard Dean laugh breathlessly before he nodded. They parted, Dean wrapping the blanket around Castiel's shoulders again before they got in the car, Dean leaning over to kiss Cas' cheek before he drove off, and Castiel watched him, a fond smile playing at the corner of his mouth. At a stoplight, Dean looked over at him and grinned, winking. "What are you thinking about that's got you smiling like that?" Castiel reached across the seat, taking Dean's hand. "Butterflies."