When Micah and Xander got the news that they were going to be having twins, the blond thought he might get so excited that he’d faint or his heart would burst. Two perfect little pups that were going to be all his, Xander and his perfect little children. It had nearly taken him half an hour to stop crying from happiness as he looked at the ultrasound picture of the twins. Later they learned it would be two little boys. Honestly Micah never cared what his pups would be, he was going to love them regardless and never let them go.
As had been the trend through out his entire pregnancy, there were complications, pains, aches, the brief period where there was spotting (Micah nearly had a heart attack, it took Xander nearly 15-20 minutes to calm him down), the scare and threat of preeclampsia, and a few other things. However, Micah was able to weather it all with Xander by his side. The other always assuring him it would all be fine, and he believed him.
Recently things had seemed to let up, which oddly weirded Micah out, but he counted his blessings, seeing it as things in his body finally evening out. It was roughly a little under two months out from his due date, and frankly he was becoming more and more excited to finally have his pups with him and in his arms. He was ready to start cuddling them and loving on them. That’s when things went sideways.
Micah woke up in excruciating pain, which it didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that something was horribly wrong. You know, before the little wolf noticed blood. Thanks to Xander’s connections through all his various jobs, they were able to get Micah to a doctor that just happened to live closer than any hospital (not that they had been keen on hospitals anyways and they’d been seeing this person throughout the pregnancy) and was willing to wake up for the emergency.
The blond was beyond panicked, in pain and fear stricken. Upon reaching the doctor’s house, Micah had to be taken into a back room immediately, but Xander had to stay behind in the living room, left alone with nothing but Micah’s blood on him.
Minutes seemed like hours for Micah, honestly it all felt like an eternity. Yelling and crying in pain. The sound flooded the room and more than likely carried out into the house enough for his mate to hear. He’d remember birth being far from easy back when he was still at the compound, but this was unbearable. It didn’t help that he couldn’t have Xander close by, but the room was only big enough for the doctor and his roommate who doubled as his assistant.
After what seemed like forever, the weak cry of one of their pups hits the air. The cord is cut and as the infant is pulled away to be cleaned and checked out, Micah panics more despite the mild and fleeting relief of finally birthing one of the pups, only remembering through the haze of pain and exhaustion that the pups were never brought back to him. They were just gone. This just makes him cry more.
The pain gets worse though, why was delivering the second pup so much more painful? Little did Micah know that he wasn’t so much giving birth, as his body was expelling dead tissue. After roughly an hour of crying and screaming till he was damn near hoarse, he feels the infant pass. Though it was silent. Why was it silent? Why did the doctor have that look on his face? What was happening? His tired mind was racing and his body was screaming. Micah had lost so much blood and he felt so weak, he wanted to get to his child.
The doctor started talking but soon the whole world began to fall into a deafening silence. He could heart his own heart pounding in his ears and he tries to sit up to look at the little boy.
Stillborn.
Then the silence was broken as there was a scream cutting out of him, so loud it could have shattered glass. It was full of pain and anguish and the kind of sadness you drown in because you’re so deep in the water you can’t even see light. Micah wasn’t even fully aware it was him making that sound till his voice finally gave out and he fell into horrible sobs that wracked his frame. One of his pups was dead, never even got a chance. Micah begins to try and push himself up, trying to reach the small, still infant.
They try to push him back, get him to lay back, but it’s apparent he won’t do that till he has the little boy in his arms. Finally they clean the lifeless pup up and wrap him up. He just holds the lifeless infant close and cries, not even aware he’s being cleaned up. Hell he’s hardly even aware when he’d moved into the small bed in the room. Micah can’t stop sobbing and quietly, hoarsely apologizing to the lifeless pup in his arms.
With everything cleaned up and settled down, save the omega still crying in the bed, the doctor comes out to explain everything to Xander. About one of the pups being stillborn, or rather miscarried, and thus both pups had to come at the same time, making the one surviving infant premature. Probably the fact that the infant was a werewolf was about the only thing keeping things from being so much worse for it.
Xander was finally allowed to come back to where Micah was laying in the bed, cradling their dead son and crying, curling up as much as his body would allow. The smaller wolf was so lost in his anguish and grief, he wouldn’t have even noticed his mate coming. He knew he had one surviving pup, and somewhere under it all he’s grateful one of them survived, but right now all he can see and focus on is that they were supposed to have two beautiful little boys and because he was broken, one of those beautiful little boys lay still and lifeless and tiny in his arms.
Send me a ≡ for my muse’s reaction to yours suddenly hugging them very tightly@marinerwolf
Micah blinks rapidly a few times when his mate very suddenly hugs him and he cranes his neck to look up at Xander. His arms slowly wound around the taller male before worry and concern paint his features. The blond gently rubs at the other’s back soothingly. He certainly didn’t mind the contact, but the suddenness of it did have him a little worried.
Roughly a month or so into the pregnancy and already the smaller wolf has had some minor complications, all of which terrify him. Micah fears that what The Alpha had done to him, putting five litters (with four pups each) in a row into him, might have taken a toll on him. They’d said he’d bounced back from them, but he was beginning to suspect it was only in terms of him being their attack dog, not caring how it affected his ability to reproduce again down the line. Though maybe they’d figured 20 pups was enough out of him.
Now and again his body shifting and better accommodating the life growing inside of him caused him pain, making it hard for him to get around. Then sometimes he’d jus hurt for no reason and it sent him into a panic, thinking maybe his body was going to abort the pregnancy. All this on top of nightmares of him either losing the pups or them being taken way was disrupting his ability to sleep through the night and be well rested.
Early on Micah had basically gone out to a thrift store and bought a whole bunch of cheap blankets and all kinds of pillows, and after extensive washings (or rather when the smell on them stopped making him scrunch his nose), he pretty much had Xander scent mark everything. It was from there that Micah essentially turned the spare bed in the smaller, spare room into a large nest of pillows and blankets. Finding comfort in the soft warmth and the smell of his mate.
It was there that he generally spent his time when Xander wasn’t home, keeping his little bunny with him and playing music softly as he occupied his time with reading or doing things like crossword puzzles or word searches, admittedly he’d even taken to those adult coloring books, finding the act to be oddly soothing.
In fact, it was in that little nest that Xander would find his mate when he came home. That and the smell of some kind of roast slowly cooking in the oven. Micah had already begun to get a little chubby with baby weight, which (while odd and not usually seen on the normally thin little wolf) didn’t look bad. Micah was curled up in the blankets and lounging on the pillow, the little bunny asleep on the wolf’s little baby bump, and an open book in the blond’s hands.
My muse has just woken up from a particularly vivid and terrifying nightmare. Send “Ssh, you’re okay” to calm and comfort them.@marinerwolf
He must have been tossing and turning in his sleep because he found himself being caught and pulls close against Xander’s solid body when he shot up. Eyes glowing, fangs peeking out a bit and claws out. Though as Xan grounded him, it all began to go away. Then as the adrenaline faded, he clutches at the larger wolf and begins to cry into his chest. He’d dreamt they were making him kill again. They found him, taken him back, his old alpha made him kill Xander. Micah looks up at Xander and whimpers.
Send a symbol for my muse’s reaction || @marinerwolf
Normally Xander was home by a certain time, sometimes he was a few minutes early or late. Though never hours late, let alone nearly an hour. Especially not without word. He’d been pacing the boat, fretting, even considering tracking him, following his scent, even if the world outside of the safety of this boat scared him. Being without Xander scared him more. His mind began to run away with him. What if they found him and they took Xander? Took the one person he had in this world to lure him out? Micah realized now he was a coward, he couldn’t give himself up if Xan was truly in trouble.
He sat on the couch, hugging his knees to his chest, ashamed of himself and crying. Though the moment he heard the foot steps on the dock, his head shot up and he watches the walk way. The moment he sees it’s Xander, he moves out of the cabin and onto the deck. The second he’s able he puts his hands on Xander to assure himself he’s real and then he grips at the fabric of his clothes, pressing himself against Xander.
