famous greeks and romans on tumblr
alexander the great: gets into shipping wars and blocks people who don’t like his patrochilles headcanons. gets a bunch of persians to delete their accounts and hoards their urls. runs a separate blog just for horse pictures. has an account for his horse bucephalus.
socrates: constantly starting arguments with people and getting into #discourse. his blog is eventually deleted by staff on account of being reported for harassment of minors.
alcibiades: changes his interests every few weeks, and because of constant url and icon-switching nobody who follows him knows who he is. loves to drunkpost. reblogs everything socrates says with a bunch of heart-eyes emojis.
solon: political blogger. gets into fights with everyone about legal terminology and political views, but for some reason only expresses his views via short, often sarcastic, poems. everyone secretly hopes he will record himself having a rap battle someday.
mark antony: posts nothing but fancy cars and the occasional hardcore porn. tags liberally and often incomprehensibly.
cato the younger: talks about “the good old days” and complains about millennials despite being a millennial himself. has never made a post shorter than 300 words. consistently scandalized by everything mark antony posts.
augustus: takes over a blog that used to be run by julius caesar. posts a combo of political propaganda and sappy but terrible poems about his wife. gets at least 10 “anonymous” hate messages a day that he knows are from mark antony because antony only remembers to make them anon about half of the time.
hadrian: aesthetic blogger. posts pictures of buildings and art from places where he travels. all of his posts have very sweet tags about something antinous said or did when they were visiting whatever was in the picture.
marcus aurelius: runs a journal blog of all of his stoic thoughts for the day. typically posts between 3 am and 5 am. everyone is 99% sure that he is high at least 50% of the time. this jumps to 75% of the time when he posts a selfie.