#martyir

[mrjane-a]

heavy lids shut to the feather light touch of her lips to his skin, perhaps to better focus on her words and the meaning they carry. for all the devious games he's been known to play in his consulting career and the unbreakable front he's shielded himself with for so many years, he's always strived for teresa lisbon's approval. and soon the routine would settle, patrick turning to teresa to gauge her every expressions, decipher the smile in the roll of her eyes, translate the disappointment of her silence, read the momentary admiration in the tension of her jaw. lisbon. lisbon. lisbon. he always returned to lisbon. not angela or charlotte anymore. and he'd seen it AS A BETRAYAL AT FIRST, guilt justifying further self-harm, pushing him away from her, from the team, shutting him from all that could be good.

a sight they are, wiping away memories with every tear rolling down their cheek, exchanging heartfelt promises of love and affection. HOPE FOR TOMORROW. a lazy smile pulls on the corner of his mouth at her retort to the tease he could never resist making after the whole marcus-pike fiasco. layers of pretend self assurance aside, it's pride that justifies the behavior, patrick pleased that he should have been the one to conquer her heart and he reopens his eyes to the shift of his hair on his brow. fiery agent lisbon's always had the touch of an angel. eyes return to the ceiling at her question prompting his instinct to bite down his lip, tense his muscles, seal his mouth. but he has to remind himself he's agreed to be honest, that she more than deserves a truth that the moment's finally called for.

he rubs his eyes and groans lightly to sit upright on the bed, looks to her with a nostalgic half-grin and grips her wrist as he lowers himself from bed to floor, elbows on his knees and back against the bed frame before he gently pulls her down with him. ❝    join me, lisbon.    ❞ how very patrick jane of him to seek shelter in his environment, the secluded space between bed and wall backed by teresa's presence close against him and he shifts his grip to her knee. ❝    you did help. you made it easier for me to chase mcallister. and i don't think i would have wanted you to be there when ...    ❞ for one, devious as he was, RED JOHN might have easily found a way to put lisbon in harm's way only to further patrick's pain. ❝    when i killed him. i don't want you to think of me as a murderer.    ❞ which, by definition, he is one; blood on his hands and the life of a monster man on his conscience hard enough to bear without her witnessing the act. ❝    you helped from the day you stepped between me and steve hannigan and let me look at your files. you've helped every minute of every day since then.    ❞ he wouldn't have asked her to put her career on the line for his sake this time, not when the stakes were so high. ❝    and i called you because ... after all those years it was finally over. it was done. he was dead and in that moment, all i could think of was you.    ❞ YOU. YOU. YOU. always you. he looks back at her with a furrowed brow and a tense jaw. the hand on her knee shifts down her thigh. ❝    what did you ... how did it make you feel, knowing he was dead?    ❞

@martyir. / cont.

[mrjane-a]

he doesn’t count the hours but seconds resonate with deafening rhythm as he waits,      blankly stares at the even rise and fall of her chest in the sickeningly clean hospital room.      he wishes he’d fare better in these environments but HE KNOWS BETTER THAN TO TEST HIS STRENGTH and settles with focusing on her.      it’s a little funny that he’s come to develop such a fierce attachment to this fiery law enforcer when he’d sworn he’d never allow himself to GET CLOSE AGAIN for fear of the dreaded consequences       ...      but he’d forced his path into this life and she’d made her way into his heart,      steadily developing into something akin to the profound affection he thought he’d ever only save for them.      AND THERE SHE LIES,      stirring from her rest,      giving ground to his obsolete decision not to open himself to further emotional damage,      silently cursing his own weakness.

[[   BULLET   ]]  ♝  @martyir.  lisbon takes a bullet for jane. literally.

the sternness in his face leaves little room for the expression of relief,      nor will he admit that he’s spent the last twelve hours by her bedside,      anxiously AWAITING THE FIRST SIGNS OF CONSCIOUSNESS as he sits upright,      drags his gaze along her form,      gives her space to collect herself.      ❝    putting yourself in the line of fire is one thing    ...    ❞      he’s argued against it,      of course,      BUT HER MIND IS HER OWN and her will unshakable when she wants to,      and for all of jane’s pleas that she quits,      he knows she’ll never be able to    ...    not without eventually hating him for it.      his tone is unusually cold,      lids heavy,      a state she’d witness on a case back when they were still hunting RED JOHN and failing.      ❝    but doing so just to save my life is something else entirely.      teresa    ...    what if you had died and i was left to live with it ?    ❞

[cultfic]

⎯ @martyir, teresa lisbon : “ no one is meant to be all alone.   that’s not how humans are built.   you don’t need to do all this on your own. ”

stray poker chip effortlessly passes from thumb to index to middle finger .. jane refusing to grant lisbon even a side glance as she once again repeats a truth he's refused to acknowledge for years ever since, well, that fateful night. his jaw's clenched tight with the frustration of earlier disappointment; the kind that'll stick for weeks but that he'll bottle up for the sake of emotionless routine. ❝  well, that's just wrong.  ❞ from the wall ahead his eyes drop to his feet, the shoes angela'd offered him for a birthday he's not going to think about. as if patrick jane deserved to be celebrated.

his voice is soft, she'll have to pay attention to even hear. ❝  you're born alone and you die alone.  ❞ sometimes gruesomely, in terrible pain, screaming for your father's help but he never comes. he negligently flicks the chip, watches as it rolls away. ❝  what happens in between's a fantasy that'll drag on sufficiently to make it all acceptable if you're lucky enough.  ❞

[rednals]

          ❝     𝗒𝗈𝗎'𝗋𝖾     𝗇𝗈𝗍     𝗅𝗒𝗂𝗇𝗀.     ❞          @martyir​

HEAD   LIFTS   AS   HE   ARRANGES   HIS   JACKET,     runs   a   hand   midst   tousled   hair:     distracted   glance   is   cast   her   way,     attention    summoned   by   the   tint   of   surprise   in   her   voice,     the   subtle   wonder   in   her   gaze.          ❝     no,     i   have   been   sleeping   here.     ❞          CASUAL   COMES   HIS   CONFIRMATION,     though   the   confusion   is   not   lost   on   him;     once   upon   a   time   he’d   have   judged   himself   &   his   disheveled   appearance,     his   lack   of   fundamental   interest   in   the   image   he   reflects   &   the   significance   of   his   choosing   to   sleep   in   dubious   circumstances. . .     BUT   THAT   MAN     ━     ALONG   WITH   HIS   VANITY     ━     ARE   LONG   GONE,     NOW.     butchered   with   his   wife   &   daughter.     a   tilt   of   his   head,     a   subtle   shake   of   stiff   shoulders.     it’s   not   truly   embarrassment   at   her   discovery   that   drives   him   to   justify   the   choice,     but   her   opinion   matters,     somehow,     so   he’s   heeded   her   advice   request   to   improve   his   appearance     (   though   it   remains   a   work   in   progress   )     &   jane’s   eyes   shift   sideways:     ANYTHING   TO   AVOID   THE   PAIN   OF   HIS   TRUTH.          ❝     well,     you   know.     that   way   i   get   to   study   the   files   without   being   interrupted.     ❞          the   explanation   sounds   informal   as   he   emphasizes   the   lightness   of   his   tone   &   throws   in   a   grin   for   good   measure.

[rednals]

❝     𝘣𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨   𝘰𝘯   𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳   𝘴𝘪𝘥𝘦   𝘤𝘰𝘴𝘵   𝘮𝘦   𝘮𝘺   𝘫𝘰𝘣,   𝘮𝘺   𝘳𝘦𝘱𝘶𝘵𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯,   𝘮𝘺   𝘧𝘢𝘮𝘪𝘭𝘺   𝘢𝘴   𝘪   𝘰𝘯𝘤𝘦   𝘬𝘯𝘦𝘸   𝘪𝘵.     ❞     @martyir​

IRE   BURNS   INCANDESCENT   IN   BROWN   IRISES,     constricted   muscles   of   her   jaw   let   loose   words   she   knows   will   have   an   impact   &   cheeks   are   tinted   a   bright   pink   he’ll   recognize   at   first   glance.     he’s   crossed   the   line;     a   concept   not   entirely   foreign   to   the   california   bureau   of   investigation   or   to   teresa   lisbon   but   he’s   no   longer   certain   it’s   the   boss   in   her   letting   loose   her   frustrations   or   the   friend   he’s   let   down,     one   time   too   many.     TORTURE   NEEDS   NOT   BE   PHYSICAL   TO   BE   DEEMED   AS   SUCH,     as   well   he   knows,     but   his   throat   -   constricting   quest   for   revenge   tends   to   dull   rationality.     the   lead   was   too   perfect   to   pass,     yet   for   all   his   savage   determination   pass   it   did,     leaving   behind   the   usual   stench   of   bitterness,     an   indirect   casualty   &   a   shitload   of   paperwork   he’ll   hand   over   to   specialists.     to   make   matters   worse,     she’s   adding   to   the   crippling   guilt,     perhaps   in   the   hopes   it’ll   serve   a   lesson,     STRETCHING   HER   LIST   OF   ALLEGATIONS   years   back,     when   a   misstep   of   his   had   ended   in   her   suspension.     heavy   seconds   hang   over   them,     followed   by   the   trademark   half   -   grin   thrown   to   assert   confidence   &   detachment,     the   million   -   dollar   smirk   he   used   to   charge   a   small   fortune,     telling   of   nothing   else   but   patrick   jane’s   deeply   -   guarded   suffering.          ❝     i   had   no   idea   i’d   managed   to   ruin   your   life   so   completely.     ❞

THROAT   TIGHT   WHEN   HE   LOOKS   UP   AGAIN,     past   her,     squinting   against   the   blazing   rising   sun,     observes   the   tranquility   of   their   surroundings:     the   quiet   activity   of   police   officers,     the   rest   of   their   team   waiting   at   a   distance   respectful   enough   to   offer   a   sense   of   privacy   &   the   valley   in   the   distance,     with   the   city   slowly   waking   up.     HER   WORDS   STILL   ECHO   IN   HIS   EARS,     tear   at   the   fragments   of   his   damaged   self   -   esteem   but   he   won’t   give   her   the   satisfaction   of   knowing   so,     jane   perhaps   even   more   stubborn   than   her.          ❝     don’t   worry,     i’ll   make   sure   everyone   knows   you   had   nothing   to   do   with   this.     ❞          the   reassurance   comes   cold,     tone   void   of   its   usual   warmth   when   addressing   one   he   admires   &   appreciates   so:     HIS   CONFIRMATION   SHOULD   SALVAGE   HER   CAREER,     as   for   her   family. . .     she’s   never   needed   his   assistance   to   make   sure   the   word   remained   foreign   in   her   vocabulary.

[legacyfailed]

MEME  PROMPT     :     CAN  I  KISS  YOU  ?

always  looks  for  a  way  of  manipulation  from  those  around  her .     terrible  to  say  she  is     used     to  people  going  behind  her  back .     used  to  be  manipulated  into  seeing  things  a  certain  way           &          finding  out  people  she  cares  for          [          people     she     trust .          ]          has  done  something  she  did  not  agree  to .     did  not  allow .     went  against  her  views  and  wishes .     against     her     commands .     but  raven     ?     if  anything     :     she  has  learned  that  the  woman  infront  of  her  is  a  straight  shooter .     doesn’t  hesitate  in  telling  things  how  they  are ,     doesn’t  try  to  wrangle  a  situation  in  her  way  without  giving  a  why .     forest  gaze  fleet  from  war  table          &          over  to  the  other     :     only  now  realizing  how  close  they  are .     can  drink  in  her  beauty  at  close  range ,     and  she  doesn’t  even  try  to  stop  herself .     turns  more  towards  her          &          rolls  up  to  the  ball  of  her  feet ,     hand  reaching  up  to  cup  side  of  her  face  as  lips  brush  against  raven’s .   

                                   FROM     : @martyir​

[engnered]

MEME  PROMPT     :     I  CAN’T  LOSE  YOU .

SHE     NEVER     CEASE     TO     SURPRISE     :     keeps  him  on  his  toes ,     no  matter  the  subject  or  situation .     just     like     right     now .     break  up ,     get  together           &          the  time  they  have  together ,     when  everything  is  good     :     makes  it  all  worth  it .     this  plan  of  hers ,     he  was  pretty  sure  he  had  been  seconds  away  from  heart  giving  out  on  him .     calloused  hands  goes  to  either  side  of  her  face  as  gaze  waft  across  her  features ,     and  there’s  a  slow  exhale .     she  had  been     dead     for  fifteen  minutes .     lay  in  the  freezing  water          &           he  could  do  nothing .     and  came  back  to  life ,     sat  on  the  steps  infront  of  him  now     :     him  squatting  down  infront  of  her ,     after  wrapping  a  blanket  around  her .     a  strenght  in  her  that  he’s  never  seen  in  anyone  before .     fingertips  brush  wet  strands  of  hair  behind  her  ear ,     before  he  leans  close     :     so  forehead  can  rest  against  hers .          ❛          you’re     not .          ❜          eyes  locked  on  hers ,     ghost  of  a  smile  at  lips .          ❛          they’ll  come  get  us  and  we’ll  figure  everything  out .          ❜

                                   FROM     : @martyir​

[engnered]

THERE’S     ENOUGH     TO     DO     :     things  to  fix          &          more  so ,     design  things  he  never  thought  he  would  be  able  to .     not  just  for  the  ark ,     but  something  outside .     a  well  to  get  water .     a  shed .     work  with  things  that  went  just  metal          &          chemicals .     and  at  the  moment ,     not  much  else  he  could  do .     they  were  broken  up     :     and  for  the  moment ,     he’ll  give  her  the  space  she  needs .     even  if  that’s  kinda  hard  when  they’re  working  together .     dark  gaze  shift  from  the  map   on  his  desk  as  the  door  creak  open     :     barely  moves  from  elbows  leaned  on  surface          &          chin  resting  in  palm .          ❛          thought  you  guys  were  going  out  today ,          ❜          probably  the  last  person  he  imagined  marging  into  engineering  at  this  point .

                                   FROM     : @martyir​