#maruwrites

[mayonnaise-is-a-drink]

MC: Merry Xmas, Mammon! What do you want for your present this year?

Mammon, panicking internally: Not MC. Not MC. Not MC. Say grimm or something. Right, right. Grimm. Not MC. I totally don't care about-

Mammon, outwardly: You.

[mayonnaise-is-a-drink]

Asmo: Behold, I am Asmodeus, Avatar of Lust. Worship me, mortals! I bear the titles of the Jewel of the Heavens, the–

MC: –Light of my life, apple of my eye. You are Spring's first blossom, of Summer's passionate heat, grace of Fall's parting, sweet as a cozy Winter's treat. With your permisson–

Asmo: O-oh my–

MC, wooing: –Let me worship you, in bed.

Asmo, is wooed: Oh my! Yes!!

[mayonnaise-is-a-drink]

My World

MC: I bet I can fit the whole world in my hands.

Lucifer: MC, that’s physically impossible.

MC:  *cups Lucifer’s face* Are you sure?

Lucifer: *blushing* Stop it, I have a reputation.

[mayonnaise-is-a-drink]

Luke: Y-you demons! I hate you with every inch of my being!

Little D. No. 2: That's not a lot of inches.

Luke:

Luke, about to cry:

MC: Run.

[mayonnaise-is-a-drink]

Lucifer, about to regret his life choices: –And that marks the end of today's council meeting. Any questions?

Satan, raising his hand: Yes, why does MC call you babygirl?

Babygirl: I am not longer taking any questions.

[mayonnaise-is-a-drink]

Grocery run in town, with Purgatory Hall members.

MC: Alright guys, we’ll meet back here in an hour. Synchronise your watches.

Simeon: How do I do that?

Luke: But I don’t wear a watch.

Solomon: Time is but a social construct~⭐

MC: 

[mayonnaise-is-a-drink]

MC: Would you still love me if I was a worm?

Belphie: What a stupid question.

Belphie: Of course I will.

[mayonnaise-is-a-drink]

Beel: Mmm borger.

Also Beelzebub: What the fuck did you just fucking say about my family, you little bitch? I'll have you know that-