"Night Ray, have a great weekend, see you Monday," Mike called exiting the car behind Harvey.
Harvey had offered to help Mike with one of his 'bleeding heart' cases and seeing as though they hadn't caught up in a while; they decided they could have a few drinks and watch a movie afterwards. Front desk barely looked up as they headed to the lift, another sharply dressed neighbour with a briefcase waited, tapping their foot impatiently.
"Should have taken the private elevator," Harvey grumbled, checking his watch.
"Calm your farm old man, people will think you're paying me by the hour," Mike replied, giving him a wink.
Harvey gave him a sly grin and placed a hand on Mike's lower back, pushing him into the now waiting elevator, but didn't move to remove it once the doors slid closed. Mike rolled his eyes at him and elbowed him in the ribs, Harvey let go but not before running his fingernails up his back, making him shoot up straight. "Asshole," he mouthed at Harvey. All of this going on behind the other occupants back.
The lift stopped on the 12th floor; Mike was busily trying to get out of an arm lock. As the passenger exited, Mike spun and freed himself, grinning at Harvey in triumph when he saw Harvey face lose its colour. Turning toward the doors Mike jumped, and his heart started racing, someone had jammed their briefcase in the door and was standing there, peering through the gap with a stocking covering their face. Harvey slowly moved in front of Mike as the man's raspy voice filled the elevator.
"Relax," he slurred, "this is just a warning." Then he smiled. It looked evil and messed up because of the stocking distorting his features. "Gallo wants to kill you himself, stay safe boys," he rasped yanking the briefcase out, sending the elevator on its way.
Mike's face had drained of its colour, and he was shaking like a leaf. Harvey grabbed him and pulled him close, but Mike pushed him away, making a gagging sound, then vomited down the front of his shirt as he slid to the floor.
"Mike listen to me; I need to call security, are you going to be okay?" He asked, grabbing the emergency phone. When Mike didn't acknowledge him, he dropped the phone and knelt down next to him, gripping his shoulders.
"Mike, it's Harvey. Are you okay? What do you need?" he said, trying to sound calm.
Mike looked up at him slowly, meeting Harvey's eyes and breathed out a heavy sigh. He was ashamed of his reaction.
"Sorry, yeah uh, I'm fine, just a bit shocked that's all." He said, trying to laugh and downplay the situation.
Harvey squeezed his shoulder and grabbed the phone again, connecting to the lobby.
It was too late. The lobby reported later that Harvey had called a mere 30 seconds after the perpetrator was seen running towards the subway. Harvey spent two hours retelling the story to police officers, who had surveillance footage for Harvey to look at and forms to fill in. Mike stayed in Harvey's room curled up on his bed, complaining of a migraine so he wouldn't have to deal with it all.
It was 11.30pm by the time the condo was quiet again. Harvey quietly pushed the door to his room open; Mike was sitting up against the head of the bed, knees hugged up to his chin, staring at nothing-in-particular.
"Did you call Rachel?" Harvey asked, sitting down on the side of the bed closest to Mike.
"Yeah, she's been staying with her parents, so she's not in any danger." He said, avoiding Harvey's eyes. The room fell silent for a minute.
"How long?" Harvey urged because he knew something had been going on these last few weeks, what with all the yelling and the misplaced anger, but he didn't realise Rachel had moved out.
"I knew the minute I took the deal it was over. I'd hoped it wasn't, but when your lawyer visits you inside more than your fiancé, it's time to call a spade a spade." He explained, grateful to have it off his chest.
"Now Gallo wants us dead. It's like I can't get a fucking break anymore. Like fuck!" He yelled, anger bubbling up inside him, "I have nothing, no job, no fiancé..."
Harvey was silent; he knew not to take what Mike was saying to heart, he was scared and vulnerable. Jesus, even Harvey had to admit he'd been scared tonight.
"I think you should stay here tonight; you can have the guest room," Harvey said, standing and patting Mike on the shoulder.
"Thanks," Mike murmured, "Uh I could eat?" He added.
The way he looked with his big blue eyes and chin sitting on his knees reminded Harvey that he was so much younger than him, he looked scared, timid and overwhelmed.
"Grab a shower, you smell like vomit, I'll make us something to eat," he directed, "I'll leave some pyjamas on the bed."
Harvey grabbed a few items from his wardrobe for Mike and set them on the bed, moving to the kitchen he turned the griller on and cut up a bread stick. He pulled some homemade pumpkin soup out of the fridge, separated it out into two bowls and heated each of them, while he toasted the bread under the griller.
When Mike reappeared and sat on the counter, two steaming bowls of soup were waiting, and Harvey was spreading garlic butter on the bread and building an impressive looking bread tower.
"Smells great." Mike enthused, grabbing a bowl and heading for the couch. Harvey set down the bread on the coffee table and bought his bowl over, sitting down right next to Mike. They demolished it in amicable silence. They watched a documentary about Alaska and an episode of The Long Way Round before Harvey stood and stretched.
"I need some sleep, anything you need before I go?" He asked.
Mike looked up at him, a question on his lips but he didn't say anything just dropped his head and frowned.
"What is it?" Harvey asked sitting back next to Mike and placed a hand between his shoulder blades.
"It's stupid; I'm a grown man, I don't know why-" Mike uttered.
"Mike, you are the least stupid person I know, come on, I'm not judging you, what is it?" Harvey prompted, rubbing circles with his thumb on Mike's back. It had taken a few more minutes of soothing circles before Mike spoke.
"When I was little, if I got scared Grammy used to let me sleep with her cardigan, I uh.." Mike looked right at him them, blue eyes shiny with unshed tears, "Can I wear your tee shirt?" He asked so softly, Harvey almost didn't hear it.
Harvey was taken aback; Mike was so scared about Gallo that he wanted to wear his clothing, more must have happened in prison than he let on. It was a lot for Harvey to take in, but this was Mike, so he pulled him into a quick embrace, "Rookie, you are wearing my tee shirt." He pointed out.
Mike went bright red and muttered something unintelligible as he stood up to walk away.
"What? Mike? What did I say?" Harvey asked, unsure what exactly was going on. He reached for Mike's shoulder.
"It's more comforting if it smells like you." Mike blurted, "Forget it, good night."
"Mike, wait," Harvey said, peeling his undershirt off and throwing it to him as he turned around and stared at Harvey's naked torso.
"Get some sleep okay, we're safe here." He said softly, then headed for his room. Did Mike find his smell comforting? His heart might have melted a little bit in his chest.
He sent a short text message to Dr Agard, asking if she could make a house call tomorrow, tossed the phone on the bedside table and dropped his head onto the pillow, exhausted.
****
Sometime between the hours of two and four am Harvey woke when Mike moved under his covers and snuggled up against his back, nose pressed into his neck.
Mike had now shattered all of Harvey's personal boundaries, and even though he should just kick him out, he couldn't. Because if there was one thing Harvey knew for certain in this life, it was that he would do anything for or give Mike anything he wanted.
When Mike's hand skated lightly over his belly, followed by a press of his groin against his ass, Harvey had to muster every inch of restraint and willpower he had not to press back against Mike. He managed though and closed his eyes willing himself back to sleep.
Then Mike pressed his forehead against his back and whimpered please, and he knew he was beaten. It was like the air left the room, all of a sudden a fog of desire and want, filled the space.
He rolled over and pulled Mike against his chest. He knew this wasn't the right way, coming together when one of them was vulnerable, it wasn't the smart choice, but to hell with being smart, he had stubble scraping over his clavicle, and he could feel the head of Mike's cock, slick with pre-cum pressing against his stomach.
"Harvey, please." Mike moaned, rubbing his cock against him.
"Mike, we can't take this back, are you sure?"
"Yes, god yes, fuck me, please fuck me Harvey" Mike murmured, words of want and lust spilling from his lips.
It hit Harvey like a train then; he couldn't do this. He cared too deeply about Mike for this just to be some fuck they once had. Mike had no idea what he needed right now, but it wasn't this. Harvey could make him feel safe and loved without sex.
"Okay, it's okay come here," Harvey said, pulling Mike on top of him and wrapping his arms around him. He felt heavy and solid; it felt good.
Mike reached down and grasped Harvey's hard cock, stroking it lazily as he rubbed up against him until Harvey pulled his hand away and Mike froze.
"Mike, this isn't a no to you, it's a no to now. Now isn't the right time to be doing this." Harvey explained, rubbing Mike's shoulders.
"You don't want me? What? Even I'm too damaged for you?" Mike spat, untangling himself and moving away.
Ouch. Harvey felt that blow; again it took significant restraint not just to give him want he apparently only wanted Harvey for, hell it might be his only opportunity to do so, but he stuck to his guns.
"Mike, I do want you," he spoke to Mike's back. "I want you to look at me and want me in that way more than anything, but you're fresh out of a relationship with Rachel, and you feel vulnerable because of Gallo and your job hunt. I want you to want this when the going is good, not bad, doing that will only make it worse, it could ruin us Mike, and I can't stand to lose you." Harvey said, pleading with Mike. "I'm sorry Mike, but even someone as damaged as me doesn't want to be a quick fix fuck."
Mike sighed. "I'm sorry," he whispered, "You're right, you always are." He turned to face Harvey. "Would you just-"
"Come here," Harvey soothed, cutting him off.
Mike slipped back under the covers and into Harvey’s waiting arms. Harvey held him tight, his whole body pressed against him, it felt real, and he felt himself relax. Harvey brushed his lips against his forehead and placed a firm kiss there, not moving away but keeping his lips against Mike’s head.
Mike tightened his grip on Harvey and slowly tilted his head back, so Harvey’s mouth dragged down his forehead and over his nose until it hovered level with his mouth. He and Harvey were breathing the same air; he felt his body heat up, the nervous tension zinging around his body like white lightning. His heart started beating out an irregular rhythm in his chest as he took one last breath of Harvey’s air and their lips met, perfectly slotting together and sealing the air in.
Harvey felt the kiss right down to his toes; it wasn't at all what he expected he and Mike would be like, this kiss was firm and filled with love, their lips just locked together, breathing steadily through their noses until Mike broke the kiss and whispered, "Is this okay?"
Rather than answer, Harvey captured Mike’s lips again, this time though he frenched Mike to within an inch of his life. They made out passionately until the sun rose, falling asleep happily in each other's arms.
Frank Gallo could come, and Harvey would do everything in his power to protect Mike. But what Gallo didn't know was that he had driven two very formidable minds into each other's arms, so he better watch his back too.
{ ft. my own challenge: Writing without the word “Love”. }
One in the morning; Mike’s phone buzzed.
Front door.
–H.
One fourteen; as Mike stumbled at the building entrance, Harvey was already standing there, waiting, looking like he was just coming back from work.
“What are you doing here?”
“Did I wake you up?”
“No, but—” Mike swallowed any word he thought of down his throat at Harvey’s gaze. “I thought I was clear back then.”
It came out softer than it should. Harvey nodded in response.
“I didn’t come here to mess with you,” he stated. “I’m here to see you.”
And there he was, standing in front of Mike in his charcoal three piece suit; covered, but naked at the same time.
Covered; under his mask of confidence that was about to crack, under the crisp cut of his suit on his shoulder, under the gel that kept his hair slicked back in place, under his suave posture that fooled everyone to believe that he had no heart at all.
Mike had almost believed it. Almost.
And now it was leaking, bleeding right before those vivid blue eyes that teared him apart; the blood, the devotion, the memory, the history, the truth, the lie, the emptiness, the madness.
The madness.
One seventeen; they stood in silence for what felt like forever.
“Why?” Mike asked quietly, voice broken, pleading, begging for Harvey’s mercy to let him go; though the lawyer knew that in fact, it was completely the other way around.
Harvey gulped down whatever he had prepared before he reached the building, the explanation, the lash, whatever he thought he need to tell Mike.
One nineteen; Harvey looked into Mike’s eyes for the first time.
He carefully laid down his heart, his guard, his shield, his pride, and bared himself the way he had never done before, not in front of Dr. Agard, not in front of Donna or Jessica; only Mike.
Naked, like he was looking at the mirror, inspecting scars marked all over his skin, one by one, searching for every secret and craziness underneath.
And he didn’t need anyone to tell him to.
One twenty; Mike’s breath stuck at the top of his lungs, stunned.
Harvey realized at that exact moment that he wasn’t the only one who was hurting, breaking, drowning, and falling into pieces.
Into madness.
Mike gritted his teeth; shouting soundlessly how his heart had bled empty a long time ago, when he told himself to move on, when he thought there was no hope.
Though Harvey was right; two adults who cared about each other didn’t move on at all.
“I’m sorry,” Mike finally whispered, ashamed, guilty, regretted.
Harvey closed his eyes. “Me too.”
One twenty three; they were about to choke on the thick familiar tension that screamed grab him, hold him, hold him, hold him close, kiss him, kiss him, don’t let him go, not again, never again—
Mike took a deep breath, mumbling, “Thanks.”
Harvey nodded slowly with an almost empty heart. Maybe this was Mike’s payback, for never gave him chances, or cues, or hints, to step in a little bit closer to his heart.
Then Mike smiled at him, bitterly, but surely was a smile, in the last moment before he turned back into the building.
Harvey found the corner of his mouth curved up unconsciously.
Wasn’t a payback then; only madness, the one they had created together.
Challenge #67 - Bleeding Heart (MFC Valentine’s Day Edition)
Bleeding Heart
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