#mary here

[scarletthered]

Please

I am so so lonely.... please send help for my damaged heart and soul.

[jadesthirlwall]

you and vic are relatives? or just friends? sorry about the question haha you're always here and i love the posts you reblog :D

thank god you love the stuff i reblog 'cause otherwise i'd probably be fired.

i'm just her slave hon... ljkhalkjshlakhs okay jk, she couldn't slave me even if she wanted. i just blog for her when she can't and no, we're no relatatives thank god 'cause one day i'm going to kiss her face off and that'd make things weird.

i'm her future girlfriend. nice to meet you :D x

[zaynzoloartist]

Some part of me wishes that Little Mix would blow up in the U.S so they would leave Zayn alone. But then I remember that Perrie is part of the group and she doesn't deserve fame.

[gayrancher]

Hi guys! It's actually me, although for a short while. 

I saw that Sierra posted about being worried for me and all you guys sent me messages and you are all really sweet and I love you all.

I'm going through a really bad patch with my mom right now.

My Facebook is back up and my Twitter is back under my possession. My mom cancelled my phone so texting me or calling me won't actually get you in contact with me. I am hoping that my dad will let me get a cheap little phone in his cell phone plan so he can contact me and get in touch as well as all of you. 

The reason for my absence is that 2 weeks ago I was hanging out with a friend and I got home around 11:30 on a school night and my phone had died. My mom had shut my phone off and reported it missing and she didn't reactivate it until the next Wednesday. That Friday after my mom finally opened her debit card statements and noticed that I had been using her card to buy myself clothes (stealing from your parents is wrong but when your mom won't buy you clothes, you have to). She reactivated my phone the following Wednesday but my brother Google searched me and found my YouTube and told my mom that I had a bowl, SOO I got in trouble for that even though I haven't had my own weed since January and the bowl is pretty much useless. 

Since I'm on probation for a hit and run back in June my mom threatened to have them drug test me, the last time I smoked was that Thursday I got home late, and then tell them about the debit card. Fortunately my dad was caring enough to say no, it's all his money anyway. He talked to me about how he isn't mad that I smoke, he was very disappointed that I would bring it in the house and post it online for the world to see. He wasn't upset that I got home late, he was just irritated that my phone died. My dad cried the Thursday I got busted for the bowl saying that he doesn't want to push another one of his kids away and that I have no reason to lie to him and take his money when I can ask him for something so minimal and him give it to me without hesitation. My dad told me that I'm going back to therapy, even though I'll be put on 4 different medications. He wants me to be honest with him and talk to him about anything because my mom isn't there for that. He told me that he wants me to go out with my friends and stay out late, while keeping him updated on where we are, and live my life. He told me that I can talk to him about boys and things like that, even though he's my dad and he can't really accept the fact that I'm growing up. My dad cried when he told me that he doesn't want me to cut myself or starve myself or try and kill myself again and that I can talk to him about it and he'll help me through it anyway possible. 

My dad told me to ignore my mom and just talk to him about everything. The only bad thing is is that he isn't ever home and when he is he doesn't defend me like he said he would. He won't divorce her because he wants on of his kids to grow up to be 18 and have their parents married. I don't want that though. His other reason is that if my mom leaves I'll have to step up and do all the things she's been lacking, and that doesn't bother me because I won't have her breathing down my neck. I don't want her around anymore, period.

As for my mom taking my phone and such, she hadn't cancelled my phone just yet and she had me unlock my phone and she started going through my twitter and replying to all of my tweets saying how bad of a person I am, its all still there (@hansridinsolo), and she was tweeting my friends telling them to stay away from me and shit like that. She also posted on my friend's Facebook wall as me saying that she was a "sad sack of shit". Now since it was my account, she, her family, my friends, people that go to my school, all thought I said that to her and all the other hateful things she said. 

Not only that she commented on some random dude's status that said "I need something to do tonight." her reply was "well it isn't going to be me." that caused the guys' girlfriend to message me threatening to fight me at school. I tried to explain what happened but she didn't believe me. Although now I am on good terms with all my friends. 

My mom also called me a dirty slut this past Sunday. She told me that I sleep around and that's why I wanted birth control, I wanted it because it helps make everything regular and stuff. 

Saturday she came in and started yelling at me saying how worthless I am and that I'm such a toxic person. I told her that she can talk to me when she hasn't been drinking since 5 in the afternoon, it was 11. She told me that she had started drinking at 4 and that she wasn't drunk. All the while she was stumbling and slurring her words, etc. She came close to laying her hands on me and at that point after all the shit she's said to me and my dad I was going to hit her back. I called my dad saying to come home because if she confronted me again someone was leaving the house in a stretcher. That night was really bad and I relapsed again and I've been trying really hard not to let that happen again. I told my dad that I still have suicidal thoughts and that it would be best for him to remove his guns from the house or at least unload them.

I'm hoping that today when I'm alone with my dad I can talk some sense into him and have him do something about my mom because I can't take her toxic attitude much longer and after she attacked my friends I lost all respect for her. She won't even apologize to my friend her family. She won't even apologize to me. 

But I am doing okay, for now, and I hope that I'll be talking to you guys soon. Feel free to tweet me or send me a message on Facebook because I can't guarantee that I'll see a message on here.

I love and miss all of you!