Fields of Gold: Matters of the Heart
This weekend reminded me of how beautiful it is to expect nothing, to live in the moment, and to remember how fragile our lives truly are. It's that frailty which makes the smallest, most delicate moments mean so much. I've had a lot to think about these past few days, weeks, and months that I don't even know where to begin.
One thing I can tell you is I no longer have the mentality of finding Mr. Right, or even worry about it. I would love to find someone who sets my soul on fire, who makes me a better person, who encourages and supports me, but most of all, someone who loves Logan, too; however, at this point, I simply want to enjoy spending time with someone again- relationship or not. While none of my relationships have led to marriage, many of my exes still play an important role in my life. In fact, most of them are dear friends who feel more like family to me. I simply want to be happy, regardless of how long my ties to someone lasts. It's been almost a year since the actor and I parted ways, and I'm ready to put myself back out there.
That being said, I've wondered if I will be like the majority of the population and fall in love with someone who I eventually marry...or if I will remain free spirited, taking various lovers through the years- each with their own special chapter in my memoir. I think both sound equally romantic :) Who knows, maybe I'll get married, divorced, and then say to hell with doing that again and have a string of lovers like Blanche from the Golden Girls >.<
While yes, I would enjoy some romance (or just flowers!), my happiness is not tied to my love life (or lack thereof). I can always get my fix by watching "Pride and Prejudice" or "Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi". It just feels really good to finally want to dip my toes back into the dating pool after sitting at the sidelines for so long.
