#matt holness

[peppermintcowboy]

matt holness playing bob fossil for a stage performance of mighty boosh and richard ayoade playing bainbridge in the pilot episode.. im connecting the dots between all my favourite things only for the lines to spell faggot

[thrvrnd]

Over a decade ago I made this cover and excerpt from a fake Garth Marenghi novel and I may never be more proud of something I've written. And now there's going to be a REAL (fake?) Garth Marenghi novel and if mine is not the first fanfic of it on ao3 I'll be disappointed in myself. Anyway. Here's an excerpt from "The Unalive" by Garth Marenghi.

“He’s dead,” Victoria said, LeGrange’s blood still wet on her fingers and somewhat unflattering dress. Martin was sure she’d never get those stains out, probably not even with a stain remover.

__

Tagline: Can the living be ghosts? Yes, they can.

“He’s not dead,” Martin said as he stepped across the room, behind the plush leather sofa but in front of the stained-oak coffee table covered in LeGrange’s gore, then around the outdated formica-topped counter to stand next to Victoria. She was frozen to the spot, looking down in red-eyed horror at LeGrange’s prone body. He dropped the stub of his cigarette into the pooling blood where it sizzled and smelled of cigarettes and blood. “He’s unalive.”

“Doesn’t that mean he’s dead?” Victoria asked, weeping the salty tears of a financially dependent housewife into her bacon grease-spotted and now blood-spattered pinafore, and the blood wasn’t from the steaks she’d prepared for supper. Martin’s mother had had one just like it, but he couldn’t think of that now, his own mum’s unburied uncorpse, unalive in Stevenage.

“Looks like he’s sleeping to me,” Phillips murmured as he scratched at his weathered sailor’s beard sullenly from his place next to the pot plants that were literally marijuana as LeGrange had been an international hash exporter before settling into small engine repair. “He’s only knicked his thumb on a paring knife. Never was any good at peeling potatoes.”

Potatoes? Could that be the key to this whole bloody mystery? Could his mother’s latkes and LeGrange’s insatiable love for chips have been their undoing?

“I still think he’s dead,” Victoria said.

Martin hitched up his trousers one-handed, wishing not for the first time he hadn’t lost that arm in Belfast. “I know it’s difficult, Victoria, but your husband could be the key to this whole bloody mystery. Now leave off the waterworks, straighten your pinny, and pass me that potato. We’re frying up this traitorous tuber and seeing what evil lurks within its starchy depths. I hope you’ve got plenty of vinegar.”

“Yes, I’ve just opened a new bottle,” Victoria said.

“Good,” Martin replied, “good.”

[skelliebones]

Hear me out, a remake of Goncharov (1973) with this cast:

Garth Marenghi (Goncharov)

Todd Rivers (Andrey “The Banker” Daddano)

Dean Learner (ice pick Joe)

Madeleine Wool (Katya Goncharova)

[annlarimer]

It's Time You Caught Up With GARTH MARENGHI'S DARKPLACE

One of the greatest televisual events in history is now streaming. What are you waiting for?

Garth Marenghi’s Darkplace is streaming on Prime, and you need to watch it immediately. 

I haven’t checked it yet, but I’m told that Prime’s streaming version of Darkplace lacks all the DVD extras. Which normally wouldn’t be a thing to care about, but in this case the cast (minus Alice Lowe as Madeleine Wool, who apparently disappeared in the Eastern Bloc some time after the show aired) do their commentary in character, with increasing degrees of sobriety and mutual hostility, and it is the only audio commentary I have ever listened to multiple times. There’s also a delightfully incompetent music video for “One Track Lover,” an Easter egg link to the complete music soundtrack, and tons of other stuff. 

The bad news is that it doesn’t appear to be in print in the US right now. The good news is that the UK DVD is available on Amazon.com, and hacking modern DVD players to Region 0 is stupidly easy. 

There’s also its lesser known sequel series, Man to Man with Dean Learner, a chat show hosted by Richard Ayoade as actor/mobster Dean Learner and Matthew Holness as a wide variety of guests, including an actor famous for his role as an alien on a classic SF series, who sounds exactly like George Takei and whose chin (the alien’s, not the actor’s) does something extraordinary that I won’t describe here. Garth Marenghi also returns as a guest, and we see his paintings, which look a lot like the paintings of a certain horror author. Man to Man also comes as a two-pack edition with Darkplace. 

I have no idea what the current (2021) shipping and VAT catastro-fucks means for ordering either series directly from the UK, but amazon.fr and amazon.de may do you better, and there’s always ebay.  

[elephant-in-the-room237]

Possum

2018

[hayaomiyazaki]

is this gay twin peaks

[doom-ocean]

I once played a song so sad I made a flock of geese die.

[matgioi]

Matt Holness - Possum (2018)