Anon Advice Asks - February 27
teen angst anon, pinterest anon (new), comparing anon (new), mature anon (new), @teasiswriter
teen angst anon
teen angst anon here!
I’m going out of my normal cycle to tell you about the super fun thing that happened to me, so sorry about that (can you tell how neurotypical I am?! I’m literally the most neurotypical person ever omg)
ok, so basically, I’ve been collapsing (blacking out, but not loosing consciousness) a lot lately, so when I went to the doctor for my routine “dying of a chronic illness” checkup, I was like “hey! Ummm … this feels bad, right?” And she was like “YEAH thats not good”. So she was like “we’re gonna run a bunch of labs, and see what’s going on about that”. So me and my parents went today, and they were like “ooh more tests got added - that’s gonna be a lot of blood” and my dad was like … can she just do it all today? Because if she has to do it in two, she’s going to be scared for the second one. Which, is fair. So they’re like “yeah technically?” So it ended up being four vials of blood, which isn’t terrible? I think? But, the Phlebotomist told me to tell her about my favorite subject in school (History). So, me being me, I decide to tell her about the Spanish Inquisition! I did pass out, which sucked, and then when I woke up I puked. So anyway. I’m still kinda delirious and I’m sure this is not the most eloquent story I’ve ever told, but whatevs.
also - on another note. In regards to my friend, my parents know, and she has a therapist. And, my best friend and I are currently in the process of convincing her to tell our school. Worst comes to worst, we’d rather she get hospitalized than be in her parents house.
oh my....I really hope the tests at least give you some answers so it was worth it, because that sounds awful.
As far as your friend, it sounds like you're doing really well with helping her. I'm so glad your parents know and she has a therapist <3 I hope you convince her to tell the school!
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Pinterest anon
okay so we're currently having our finals and i sent one of my friends several pinterest edits and reels this week. tbf, there's like thirty of each and obviously i didn't really expect them to watch it during the week because finals. so i asked them yesterday and they were like "im busy not now after the exams" except they sent one of our friends a seven minute long voice message, sent several reels themselves yesterday and posts after saying "i don't have time to watch them" (them being the ones i sent) when i first brought it up like it's not that they don't have time, they clearly do, but they don't feel like watching them and that's fine but like just say that you don't feel like it or that you feel too lazy to reply literally anything that's even remotely more conceivable than a blatant lie like i know for a fact that they had the time but they just didn't want to which is also okay but like stop with the bullshit maybe??
Hi!
Okay I'm not trying to make excuses for your friend because i totally understand where you're coming from and you have a right to your feelings...but I know for me, when people send me a LOT at once, I get overwhelmed and I don't want to look at any of it. Like when I see I have 16 unread texts, I can't bring myself to look at any of them, but if I only have one, it's easier. Maybe it's something like that? Again, you still have a right to your feelings but maybe it's something like that?
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Comparing anon
HI CASS!!!
uhmmm I don't really write these (ever), but I really need to get someone's opinion or just to tell someone.
but iv been getting better from a really bad period, but I can find myself slowly drifting back and I'm terrified because it was such a bad time for me. but the thing is I really just need to talk someone or just a hug tbh, but I don't have many friends or talk to them outside of school. however I talk to one friend and I love them so much, but their barely message me if I talk to them and always reply really short and give me nothing to go off. and ik their going through a hard time right now but won't let me in so I have no idea how to help them. ANYWAY, as much as I love them, I find myself constantly comparing myself to them, and base my mood around on how they treat me and honestly their making me worse, even though they probably don't mean it.
sorry for yapping on and on, but I just don't know what to do cause they are literally the only person I keep in contact with and don't want to lose the one thing helping feel connected in life, but it's making me fall deeper into the hole of badness and yuckiness.
( p.s IV REALISED HOW MUCH IV TALKED, IM SO SORRY, YOU DONT HAVE TO REPLY TO THIS IS YOU DONT WANT)
Hi!
Please don't feel bad at all!
Honestly I think the first thing to do is to talk to them. Share how you're feeling. Hell, even show them this ask. It could be that they're struggling so much with their own shit that they don't realize what you're going through. I know it's scary to lay your feelings out like that, but communication is so important in a friendship, and this sounds like an important friendship for you. <3
Keep me updated!
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mature anon
Hello Cas!!! I'm a nonbinary person, and I struggle a lot with pronouns in my native language. In my language, we don’t have neutral pronouns like they/them in English. The people in the community have basically created a new one for us, but when I tell you everyone makes fun of it, I mean, it's treated as so unserious and pathetic. There are even memes going around mocking nonbinary people for using those pronouns, as if it's just some joke.
People associate those pronouns with a joke, with a meme. They basically bullied a nonbinary person for using them, and those are the pronouns I feel the most comfortable with, in fact, the only ones. But people see them as immature. I'm 26 years old, I have a full-time job, and I'm expected to be "more mature than that." But you have no idea how much it HURTS every time people use other pronouns for me. I can't correct them, and even the most liberal and open-minded people don't accept those pronouns. Gender-neutral pronouns simply don’t exist in my language.
It's honestly so hard, and I feel like the only time I can be myself is here on the internet, behind a screen, using they/them pronouns that allow me to breathe. I don’t know why it matters so much, but it does, especially knowing I will have to live my whole life like this. But this is a safe space for me, and your account feels like a hug to the soul. I guess that's why I'm sending this message to you.
"I don't know why it matters so much" um it matters because it's who you are! Of COURSE it matters! This sounds SO infuriating and invalidating and I am so sorry <3 It makes me happy that I can give you a safe space, but you deserve a lot more than that, and I'm sorry you're not getting it. I'm sending you all the love and hugs and respect, because you deserve respect for your identity.
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@teasiswriter
Hellooooo! I hope you’re doing well
Earlier I mentioned my old abusive friends but I’ve been thinking about them and some other trauma more often and I m not sure what to do? I mean I was planning on suppressing it until I got to college or something and could get a therapist, or if i was asked about it by someone I could trust? But I was told that suppressing it is bad for me. What should I do? Do I think about it? Remember it? Deconstruct what I feel about it? That sounds exhausting, that hurts. But I’m not supposed to suppress it apparently… and I don’t have anyone to talk about it with right now
What do I do with it?
Yeah suppressing it isn't great. But you're right that working through it can be scary and exhausting. Do you have a trusted adult you can talk to about it (teacher, parent, family member, family friend, coach, guidance counselor)? Or maybe if you could find some online forums to talk about it on? If not, as long as it doesn't make your mental health worse, you could try writing about it, drawing about it, something like that?
