#comparing anon

[my-castles-crumbling]

Anon Advice Asks - March 4

@residentdisaster, confirm anon (new), panromantic anon, comparing anon, outed anon

@residentdisaster

Omg I just remembered this absolutely AMAZING original WIP I came up with last year

I abandoned it (after planning the whole first book, and part of the SECOND???) because I’d incorporated magic and realized that I (at the very least for my sake) have to flesh out a magic system

But I made damn near all the (major) characters some type of LGBTQ+ and now if I go back to it I lowkey wanna make the one cishet guy have like bi awakening or smth

I kinda like wanna go back and pick it up cause I still have the doc for it but idk if I have the motivation

I was wondering if you have any tips for writing/working out a magic system? Or keeping up the motivation to write?

If I do end up writing it I’m planning on putting it on Ao3

Honestly I've never made up my own magic system before but looking at JKR's mistakes, I'd try to think of all of the rules FIRST. All of the exceptions to rules, all of the ways the rules can and cannot be broken, all of the ways the magic could ruin the plot, etc. Because like...time travel can really leave a gaping plot hole.

As far as motivation, I like writing a little each day and tracking my time! It keeps me on task and excited! trackbear is a great website to track your words!

This sounds like an amazing idea, I hope you do more with it!

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Confirm anon

Hey, Cas

Are we supposed to use She and They interchangeably for people who use those pronouns?

I'm sort of new to all this, so I just need to confirm.

Thanks in advance

Sometimes! Sometimes people with more than one set of pronouns like them used in different circumstances or when they're feeling different ways. The best thing to do is to ask. I promise, asking isn't offensive, it's actually super kind to make sure you're resecting someone's wishes.

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Panromantic anon

I have three brothers, did I ever say that? (Panromantic anon and her stupid issues with his family, thanks)

It sucks to be the one who has to stay behind.

My youngest brother is 9 years older than me.

I only feel alive when one of them comes to visit once a year for a week.

Thanks for listening my problem, I know it's stupid. I shouldn't be dependent on my older brothers, it's not their responsibility. But my cage is prettier when I have them around.

And I realized I can't make a normal opening for my life wtf sorry

Hi!

I don't think it's stupid and I don't think it's being dependent, either. Siblings can understand like few other people can, and having to deal with family without them isn't fun. Have you tried reaching out to them when things are tough? I know you say it's not their responsibility, but I know if one of my siblings reached out to me, I would be more than willing to help them because I care <3

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comparing anon

HIYA, comparing anon here!!

thank you for your advice and tbh i agree that communication is so important in friendships, i just have no idea how to tell her without coming across as selfish? because i dont want to invalidate her and make it about myself? also our friendship has in the past been rocky?? and we use to argue a bit and didnt talk to each other for nearly a year, but we got passed all of that and im scared if i bring this up she's going to take it as me complaining or starting an argument. i dont even know at this point. its also a bad time to send a message about this because someone at our school had a 'medical emergency' and is at the hospital/ ICU and she's really upset about it , so i feel like sending smth now would be really unfair of me.

Hi!

I agree timing is important and it might be good to wait a few days, but I don't think you should put it off forever. If you don't say anything, you're just allowing the resentment to build, and you're not really enjoying the friendship, you know? And that's not a real friendship.

What if you try writing something before you say it? You could even send it to me first. That way you're confident you're not coming off as too invalidating?

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outed anon

So my parents remembered they have an introverted child with social anxiety (me) and decided to send me to a public place (trampolines and shit) forcing me to exercise in front of others my age 😍😍 (one of my biggest fears) (they knew im scared) (they wasted their money i sat in the corner through the whole thing too scared to stand up😃👍)

Outed anon here btw hi

that sounds awful. Did they at least let you bring a friend with you?

[my-castles-crumbling]

Anon Advice Asks - February 27

teen angst anon, pinterest anon (new), comparing anon (new), mature anon (new), @teasiswriter

teen angst anon

teen angst anon here!

I’m going out of my normal cycle to tell you about the super fun thing that happened to me, so sorry about that (can you tell how neurotypical I am?! I’m literally the most neurotypical person ever omg)

ok, so basically, I’ve been collapsing (blacking out, but not loosing consciousness) a lot lately, so when I went to the doctor for my routine “dying of a chronic illness” checkup, I was like “hey! Ummm … this feels bad, right?” And she was like “YEAH thats not good”. So she was like “we’re gonna run a bunch of labs, and see what’s going on about that”. So me and my parents went today, and they were like “ooh more tests got added - that’s gonna be a lot of blood” and my dad was like … can she just do it all today? Because if she has to do it in two, she’s going to be scared for the second one. Which, is fair. So they’re like “yeah technically?” So it ended up being four vials of blood, which isn’t terrible? I think? But, the Phlebotomist told me to tell her about my favorite subject in school (History). So, me being me, I decide to tell her about the Spanish Inquisition! I did pass out, which sucked, and then when I woke up I puked. So anyway. I’m still kinda delirious and I’m sure this is not the most eloquent story I’ve ever told, but whatevs.

also - on another note. In regards to my friend, my parents know, and she has a therapist. And, my best friend and I are currently in the process of convincing her to tell our school. Worst comes to worst, we’d rather she get hospitalized than be in her parents house.

oh my....I really hope the tests at least give you some answers so it was worth it, because that sounds awful.

As far as your friend, it sounds like you're doing really well with helping her. I'm so glad your parents know and she has a therapist <3 I hope you convince her to tell the school!

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Pinterest anon

okay so we're currently having our finals and i sent one of my friends several pinterest edits and reels this week. tbf, there's like thirty of each and obviously i didn't really expect them to watch it during the week because finals. so i asked them yesterday and they were like "im busy not now after the exams" except they sent one of our friends a seven minute long voice message, sent several reels themselves yesterday and posts after saying "i don't have time to watch them" (them being the ones i sent) when i first brought it up like it's not that they don't have time, they clearly do, but they don't feel like watching them and that's fine but like just say that you don't feel like it or that you feel too lazy to reply literally anything that's even remotely more conceivable than a blatant lie like i know for a fact that they had the time but they just didn't want to which is also okay but like stop with the bullshit maybe??

Hi!

Okay I'm not trying to make excuses for your friend because i totally understand where you're coming from and you have a right to your feelings...but I know for me, when people send me a LOT at once, I get overwhelmed and I don't want to look at any of it. Like when I see I have 16 unread texts, I can't bring myself to look at any of them, but if I only have one, it's easier. Maybe it's something like that? Again, you still have a right to your feelings but maybe it's something like that?

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Comparing anon

HI CASS!!!

uhmmm I don't really write these (ever), but I really need to get someone's opinion or just to tell someone.

but iv been getting better from a really bad period, but I can find myself slowly drifting back and I'm terrified because it was such a bad time for me. but the thing is I really just need to talk someone or just a hug tbh, but I don't have many friends or talk to them outside of school. however I talk to one friend and I love them so much, but their barely message me if I talk to them and always reply really short and give me nothing to go off. and ik their going through a hard time right now but won't let me in so I have no idea how to help them. ANYWAY, as much as I love them, I find myself constantly comparing myself to them, and base my mood around on how they treat me and honestly their making me worse, even though they probably don't mean it.

sorry for yapping on and on, but I just don't know what to do cause they are literally the only person I keep in contact with and don't want to lose the one thing helping feel connected in life, but it's making me fall deeper into the hole of badness and yuckiness.

( p.s IV REALISED HOW MUCH IV TALKED, IM SO SORRY, YOU DONT HAVE TO REPLY TO THIS IS YOU DONT WANT)

Hi!

Please don't feel bad at all!

Honestly I think the first thing to do is to talk to them. Share how you're feeling. Hell, even show them this ask. It could be that they're struggling so much with their own shit that they don't realize what you're going through. I know it's scary to lay your feelings out like that, but communication is so important in a friendship, and this sounds like an important friendship for you. <3

Keep me updated!

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mature anon

Hello Cas!!! I'm a nonbinary person, and I struggle a lot with pronouns in my native language. In my language, we don’t have neutral pronouns like they/them in English. The people in the community have basically created a new one for us, but when I tell you everyone makes fun of it, I mean, it's treated as so unserious and pathetic. There are even memes going around mocking nonbinary people for using those pronouns, as if it's just some joke.

People associate those pronouns with a joke, with a meme. They basically bullied a nonbinary person for using them, and those are the pronouns I feel the most comfortable with, in fact, the only ones. But people see them as immature. I'm 26 years old, I have a full-time job, and I'm expected to be "more mature than that." But you have no idea how much it HURTS every time people use other pronouns for me. I can't correct them, and even the most liberal and open-minded people don't accept those pronouns. Gender-neutral pronouns simply don’t exist in my language.

It's honestly so hard, and I feel like the only time I can be myself is here on the internet, behind a screen, using they/them pronouns that allow me to breathe. I don’t know why it matters so much, but it does, especially knowing I will have to live my whole life like this. But this is a safe space for me, and your account feels like a hug to the soul. I guess that's why I'm sending this message to you.

"I don't know why it matters so much" um it matters because it's who you are! Of COURSE it matters! This sounds SO infuriating and invalidating and I am so sorry <3 It makes me happy that I can give you a safe space, but you deserve a lot more than that, and I'm sorry you're not getting it. I'm sending you all the love and hugs and respect, because you deserve respect for your identity.

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@teasiswriter

Hellooooo! I hope you’re doing well

Earlier I mentioned my old abusive friends but I’ve been thinking about them and some other trauma more often and I m not sure what to do? I mean I was planning on suppressing it until I got to college or something and could get a therapist, or if i was asked about it by someone I could trust? But I was told that suppressing it is bad for me. What should I do? Do I think about it? Remember it? Deconstruct what I feel about it? That sounds exhausting, that hurts. But I’m not supposed to suppress it apparently… and I don’t have anyone to talk about it with right now

What do I do with it?

Yeah suppressing it isn't great. But you're right that working through it can be scary and exhausting. Do you have a trusted adult you can talk to about it (teacher, parent, family member, family friend, coach, guidance counselor)? Or maybe if you could find some online forums to talk about it on? If not, as long as it doesn't make your mental health worse, you could try writing about it, drawing about it, something like that?

[cassandraatthegates]

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