#maxine brenner

[dorelia23]

I absolutely adore Spencer's socks, because he would be in a highly stressful situation and then you look down and find him wearing whimsical mismatched socks.

[marril96]

Criminal Minds 15.06 | Date Night

[gingerbread-in-july]

Under the cut lies my personal ranking of all of Spencer Reid's love interests, both actual and potential, from best all the way down to worst, plus a whole lot of unfiltered sassy commentary that nobody asked for. Then again, nobody asked for any of this, but my brain was just on one of its neurodivergent tangents. There's 11 total. Some of this- probably a lot of this- will piss some people off and I am truly sorry. I hope there's at least some other people out there who share my strong ass opinions.

1. Dorian Loker- I will never forgive these bitch ass writers for never following up on that storyline. He asked her out in Russian, for Christ's sake! One of the only times in the entire series he actually initiates a date with somebody. He complimented her coffee! For him, that may as well be a pickup line. He was finally moving on from Maeve. That was a huge fucking step. He was shy and unsure of himself, but he was clearly into her, he was flirting the best he could, and he fucking asked her out. Don't even get me started on him being into her enough to set aside his germophobia and touch her hand by the end of the episode. Or his gutted little expression when he realized he spoiled the book she was reading. They were adorable and they could have been everything. Of all the one-episode love interests, she's the one I'm most pissed at them for never fucking following up on. 

2. Ethan- They were not just friends. I read somewhere that Spencer was initially supposed to be bisexual. They might have scrapped that, but bi Spence still found a way. They for sure hooked up. For. Sure. The chemistry was just there. And I am not one of those weirdo bitches who are overly fetishistic toward m/m pairings. I'm too fucking gay myself to get off on two men together. But those two men for sure were a thing- and good for them. 

3. Austin the bartender- She was hot. They had chemistry. More chemistry than he did with his actual girlfriends. End of. 

4. Ashley Seaver- I know y'all hate her and that she wasn't technically a love interest. However, I guarantee that she would have been if they'd kept her around. They were definitely setting it up to be that way. And, you know what? They'd have been a damn cute couple. I'd have loved to see it. And no, the "sorry for asking" moment was not grounds to disqualify it. Everyone else said as bad or worse to him at some point. If you can ship him with a psychopath who drugged him, framed him for murder, got him falsely imprisoned and nearly killed, kidnapped and tried to kill his mother, and lied about r*ping him and getting pregnant? You can ship him with Ashley fucking Seaver. If you can ship him with his fucking doctor who used her own loneliness as an excuse to violate all kinds of professional and ethical codes? You can ship him with Ashley fucking Seaver. If you can, perhaps worst of all, ship J*id? You can ship him with Ashley fucking Seaver.

5. Lila Archer- I think their worlds were ultimately too different for them to work long-term, but I do think they would have made a sweet couple for a while. They would each give the other things that their worlds were lacking. They wouldn't have been endgame, but they'd have stayed good friends. Also, "bUt aMbEr hEARD" isn't the dunk you think it is. Johnny Depp is a rich, 60-something year old white man who is problematic as fuck in his own right- and he's never going to fuck you. 

6. Cat Adams- Do I want them to actually be together? No. Does she deserve him? Hell no. Would the people further down this list technically be better for him than her? Probably. But......the chemistry, y'all. The chemistry was there. Matthew and Aubrey just play far too well off of each other. 

7. Maeve Donovan- I didn't hate her, but she was just a vehicle to give Spencer more trauma. I don't think she was "the one," "the love of his life," or any of that other stuff some say. I don't think they'd have lasted if she'd lived. They didn't really know each other. She lied to him about having a whole ass fiancé she never told him about. God only knows what else he didn't know. He started out as her fucking patient, for God's sake. The ethical violations were out the ass. I don't think she'd have crossed those lines if she weren't feeling so vulnerable and isolated from having to hide from her stalker. At least, not if she's as smart as everyone claims she is. Everyone- including Spencer- only puts her on a pedestal because of the tragedy of her death and not knowing what could have been. What would have been had she lived......probably wouldn't have been all that great in the long run. 

8. Linda Kimura- I'll be honest, I don't recall a single damn thing about this woman. I forgot she even existed until I saw her pictured on a potential love interest compilation. While I don't recall them having any chemistry whatsoever, I'll still include her for the sole purpose of ranking her higher than the rest of these shit bombs. And speaking of bombs, that brings us to......

9. Dylan Einstein- For the life of me, I just don't understand why people go so hard for this pairing. It's like she was generated in a Mary Sue factory to fit some stereotype of what AI might imagine Spencer's ideal woman to be. Her last name is Einstein, for fuck's sake. I'd probably respect it more if they did just name her Mary Sue. They were trying too hard to present her as Girl Spencer. The bitch even wore a purple scarf! She also just came across as annoying and overly eager and seemed like she didn't really understand when to fuck off. She butted in too much while Derek and Spencer were trying to work. Some poster here said that the actress who played her shipped the character with Spencer. That is more than obvious in the way she plays her. It's like she read a bunch of Wattpad fic and decided to use the character to try for her Y/N moment. Can't blame a girl for trying, but that is one "love interest" I am glad was a one-off. 

10. JJ- What could I say that hasn't already been said? The J*id plot was painfully forced. Spencer has more chemistry with a fucking paperweight than he does with JJ. Do I love their friendship? Yes. Do I love watching Spencer interact with her kids? God, yes. But, he's Uncle Spencer, not Stepdaddy Spencer. The only way Spencer and JJ are more than friends is that they're found family. Will is an absolute saint of a husband. Fuck them writers for doing him dirty like that. Even pre-Will, Spencer and JJ just didn't have the chemistry like that. I'm glad they scrapped that bullshit early crush storyline after just one episode. Also, am I the only one who remembers Spencer being totally unaffected and not even giving half a shit when JJ finally came out to the team about being with Will? He said something along the lines of "We all knew already." He was so unbothered. No way in hell has he been "waiting for JJ" this whole time or whatever these clowns pulled out of their asses toward the end. Such a waste of a plot. Literally any other pairing would have made more sense. 

11. Maxine bitch ass Brenner- Here we are. Last and least. Even J*id was better than this shit. What the fuck even was the goddamn point of this bitch besides having an excuse to have Rachael Leigh Cook guest star? Too bad this is who she had to play. She was just rude as hell with her snark, her bitchy little expressions and the way she mocked the kids- elementary school aged kids- she taught. As if it was beneath her grandiose idea of herself. How could they for one second think that somebody like Spencer- somebody who loves kids, loves to teach and to learn and values education as much as Spencer- could ever like somebody like her? They were already having to cram way too much into too little space that last season. It was already a shit show. What the fuck was the point of adding her only to never bring her back? I mean, good call there at least because she sucked. I can only assume Spence realized how much she sucked and ditched her ass. She was just a pointless waste of time and never should have been a thing. I'm glad Spence made out with Cat in front of her and I hope it chapped her ass that he never kissed her that way. Glad her family didn't die, but she and they can all fuck all the way off down the road.

Thanks for sticking this one out if you did.

[eliza-ross]

Dinner at Rossi's - pt. 1

Synopsis: Inspired by S11-E22 bc I literally couldn't get the stupid scene and song from my head so I had to write about it.

Trigger warnings: None lol this is pure fluff

Word count: 2.2k

A/N: Just want to let ya'll know that I changed a bunch of things (but the vibe overall is the same so dw), so first, Aaron and Beth are engaged, Rossi married Krystal, Tara hasn't joined yet, Emily is unit chief and dating Andrew, Morgan didn't leave the team and Spencer already met Max (aka this is sort of a Maxcer fic).

To love itself, isn't easy. But It is even more complicated to love when the person you love is constantly in danger, when they cannot commit to the plans you made, when you don't know if they will come home or not.

But the wager, measured against the joy you feel when you are with that special person, greatly outdoes all the possible pain, all the fear, and eases the soul on nights where the bed is empty.

Much like military spouses and significant others, the partners of the team of the BAU often struggled with these things. Will, Beth, Krystal, Savannah, and now Max—had all learned the hard way that the patience they needed to have had to overcome any fear they might have.

"Do I look okay? Is my hair alright?" Max asked, constantly tucking strands and rearranging herself.

They were standing in Rossi's front door, they're already knocked and were waiting on him to open. Spencer was dressed in his usual attire, while Max (knowing the occation called for elegance), had put on a beautiful white dress with a blue, flower pattern. Her hair was delicately perfected and so was her makeup, but she still felt uneasy.

"Darling, you look beautiful," Spencer said, pinching her chin.

"I don't want beautiful, I want perfect," the girl said, giving him a dirty look as she frowned.

"Right-" the man chuckled and scratched his nose, "you do look perfect actually-"

"Okay yeah, sure- you're just saying that so you don't get in trouble tonight," she said, narrowing her eyes and nodding sarcastically.

"No, I mean it- you look- you look perfect," Spencer said, his eyes fixed on hers. Max smiled and made herself look away, knowing that if she held eye contact she'd blush two tones beyond what she wanted.

Just that moment, the door opened, revealing Rossi waiting for them inside. "And there they are! The most lovely and perfect couple at the BAU!" The man declared, spreading his arms open to hug both of them.

"I thought we were the most lovely and perfect couple at the BAU," Krystal came down the stairs in a beautiful dress and her hair curled in soft waves, a big smile on her face when she saw the Doctor and teacher.

"Second best then," Rossi corrected, causing his wife to laugh as he pushed the couple down the list, "Please come in! The others are outside."

"Thank you Mr. Rossi," Max said, embracing Dave.

"Please, sweet girl, call me Dave! Everyone does," Dave said, patting her back in a fatherly manner. "Besides, I call you Max, don't I?"

"Yeah- yes you do," Max chuckled and nodded, "thank you Dave."

"Mrs. Rossi," both of them said in unison, Max hugging Krystal.

"Hello young things," Krystal said, kissing Spencer on the cheek.

"You look beautiful," the girl complimented, holding the older woman's hand.

"So do you!" She complimented back, gesturing at her dress.

"Let's go," Spencer murmured, his hand placed on Max's lower back to guide her to the backyard, where most of the team already was. "Hello everyone, sorry we're late," he said, approaching Derek first.

"Late? Loverboy we were doin' pregame over here," he said, hugging his friend with a huge grin.

Penelope started walking towards Max to greet her as she spoke loudly, clearly already affected by the liquor. "Oh yeah! We were doing shots before the kids arrived but Savannah-"

"Uh uh uh, Penelope," Savannah stopped Penelope from talking as she hugged Max.

"Right-" she said, as if mentally reminding herself of something.

"Hello Penny," Max giggled, using the nickname Miss Garcia had cleared just for her girlfriends to use. "Hi Savannah," she pulled back and hugged the woman.

"Hello gorgeous," she greeted back, kissing her cheek.

Max pulled back and scanned her friend. After having gone out with Spencer for a few weeks, she'd accidentally met his team when she was trying to give him his scarf, which he'd forgotten at her apartment. After meeting them, Penelope had insisted on having a girls night so they could get to know each other better.

And on that night, Max realized just how amazing the women she'd met were. They were all intelligent, kind, funny, they were the friend group she'd always wanted. And as such, Max had gotten to know Savannah and her love for daiquiri's, so smelling no daiquiri's on her was, strange.

"You look different," she commented.

"Bad different or good different?" Savannah asked, laughing to herself.

"Beautiful different," the woman returned, putting together the clues she had.

"Pretty boy I will never stop reminding you of how lucky you got with this one," Derek complimented.

"I know," Spencer chuckled.

"Hey there pretty girl." Morgan smiled, opening his arms to hug the girl.

"Hey there, muscular man," Max returned, also smelling the alcohol on him. Her eyes scrunched and she turned to Savannah, who shrugged and only smiled widely, pretending she didn't know anything.

"JJ's here!" Rossi announced, walking in with the LaMontagne family beside him.

"JJ!" Penelope cheered, running up to embrace her friends.

"Hi everyone," JJ greeted, holding their baby as she was followed by her husband and son.

"Hi JJ," Spencer was one of the first to greet her, embracing her warmly and being careful not to hurt their sleeping child.

"Hello," Will greeted with a nod, as well as Henry, who waved at the adults.

"Max!" JJ greeted warmly, seeing her approach quietly.

"Oh my God, JJ-" Max whispered, covering her mouth with her hand. "He's so cute," she mumbled.

"Thank you," JJ and Will said together.

"Spencer did you see him? And his little hands? Oh my-" she turned away, being unable to take the cuteness of the baby.

"What's cute?" Penelope shouted, but was quickly shushed by nearly the entire team. "Oh-"

"Who are we shushing now?" Emily asked quietly as she walked in with a bottle of wine.

"Emily! Oh Emily, it's so good to see you again," Penelope lunged herself towards the black-haired woman.

She looked up at the rest, asking what was going on, yet they all just quietly laughed. "I- we saw each other this morning Penelope," she commented.

"Right-" Penelope said before walking away to the bar.

"Penny almost woke up baby Michael," Max replied, approaching Prentiss after she'd greeted the rest.

"Max! Hi- it's so good to see you again," Emily greeted.

"You too! But where's Andrew? I thought he was coming." She frowned.

"He couldn't fly over but he sends his love and this bottle," the woman shrugged, making her friend laugh.

Spencer watched as his girlfriend got along with his friends, how she immediately began playing a game with Henry while she chatted with the adults, and just how perfect she was. He finally saw how easily she fit into his world, and for a moment, he forgot the reason he'd ever feared bringing her into it.

"Rossi can I put him in your room? He fell asleep on the car but we've got a monitor we can set up," JJ asked in a muffled voice.

"Of course, of course," Rossi nodded.

"I'll take him," Will said, after having said hi to everyone.

Rossi gave a nod and heard the doorbell ring again, promptly leaving his backyard. Meanwhile Penelope was doing some trick at which Morgan and Henry were laughing, Krystal, Savannah and JJ were chatting, and Spencer and Max were getting drinks for themselves.

"They love you," Spencer commented.

"I love them," she returned simply.

Her words made him smile. He had always known Max's world was radically different from his, but it showed more when they had moments like these, and although he wouldn't say it, it gave him some semblance of relief.

Max was a loving, gentle and sweet girl, she truly wanted the best for Spencer, and she truly did love his friends. Not just because they'd hung out a couple of times but because for her it was just easy, to love.

"Sorry for the delay, Jack had a science fair project." Aaron walked in with Jack and Beth beside him.

"Hotch!" The guests all cheered, causing the small family to laugh.

After doing the round of 'hellos', Spencer approached their now Section Chief, hugging him warmly.

"Hello Hotch," Spencer whispered.

"Kid," the man returned, smiling brightly.

"Beth! It's so good to see you!" Max went immediately to embrace the woman that'd taken her under her wing.

"Hello Max," she returned just as lovingly.

As mentioned before, Max already knew all of the women and significant others of the BAU team, but she'd connected particularly well with Beth. They were kindred spirits, and got along nearly like mother and daughter.

And it wasn't only because of their shared passion for art, but because in nights when a case was particularly scary, or when she didn't know how to help Spencer, she'd call Beth.

And Beth always picked up when it was Max.

"Hey Jack!" Max greeted the little boy as Henry climbed to step on top of her feet to try and balance himself.

"Hi Max," he greeted back, bumping his fist with hers. "Hey Henry," he waved at his friend, who only waved back (being fully focused on the tip-toe game Max had taught him).

"Did you do your project for this week?" She asked, because no matter how ridiculously improbable it might have been, Jack was in the art class that Max taught.

"No," Jack admitted, laughing without an ounce of shame.

Max rolled her eyes as she kept trying to keep Henry on her feet. "It's okay, I'm sure I can sneak an A in there anyway," she winked before facing Henry again, "woah- careful there buddy-" she laughed.

"I wanna play," Jack said.

"Okay sure, hop on," Max nudged her head, placing Henry down and helping Jack up.

Spencer turned away from the scene, focusing his attention on Beth and Aaron, who were animatedly discussing something with Savannah and her husband. He narrowed his eyes and when the woman did a single gesture, his eyebrows shot up in surprise.

Knowing his girlfriend would 100% want to know, he approached her, one hand tucked nonchalantly on his pocket while the other one held his drink.

"I know something you don't know-" He chanted, walking beside her to peak her interest.

"What? What is it? Spencer tell me this instant or I swear I'll-" Max's words were cut off as she nearly caused Jack to fall, but only madethe boy laugh.

"You know it too!" Spencer declared.

"I-" The girl exhaled angrily, holding Jack's hands to keep him steadier. "I do not," she said, trying to blow a stray lock of hair away from her face.

"Yes you do," Spencer said, leaning in to fix her hair. "I know you do."

Max scrunched her nose and pursed her lips, analysing her boyfriend's face before she stopped playing with Jack. It only took her .3 seconds to realize he did know she knew what she knew she knew.

"Jack, I heard Dave has a soccer ball somewhere in here," she said, pointing around the garden.

"Really?" The boy asked.

"Mhm, whoever gets it first gets to play midfielder!" She declared, raising her hand like a referee.

"Okay," Jack smiles and runs away to go find the ball.

She folds her arms over her chest and approaches her boyfriend, still trying to figure out how could he possibly be so sure.

"How?" She asked, otherwise speechless.

"You're good at seeing people, tell me what you see." Spencer encouraged, giving her a shrug and gesturing in a circle with his glass.

"Okay..." Max turned to the other guests, placing her elbow on Spencer's shoulder as she looked around. "Will and Morgan have been talking all night," she first pointed out, checking if she was on the right path.

"Mhm," he nodded proudly.

"And... Savannah has been talking with Krystal a lot," she pointed out as well.

"Yes," Spencer affirmed again.

"But..." She pursed her lips and sunk deeply into her own thoughts, that's when the last piece of the puzzle clicked into place, causing her to gasp loudly. "Oh my God- I was right!"

"Yes you were," the agent chuckled, nodding as he saw her face of joy.

"So soon? How long has it been?"

"Around six months," he nodded, looking up as he made the math.

"She is- she's insane," Max shook her head, her respect for Savannah increasing tenfold.

"It was a very short period of time," her boyfriend smirked.

"But did you see how cute JJ's baby was?" She tugged on his blazer. "Ugh- I'm having baby fever again," she mourned, shaking her head in disappointment of herself.

Her words froze Spencer for a brief second. She'd never, mentioned baby fever before. And although it made sense, given that she loved kids and had always known she wanted to be a mom, he was shocked for the first couple of minutes.

[thefateofelle]

[youbutstupid]

Max: so, is your life always this exciting?

Reid: no

Reid: …. well my personal life isn’t

(15x06)

[profoundstarfishmusic]

[paxbe]