Rethinking my Life.
Recently I have been listening to a lot of podcasts. Particularly about video games, but I have started listening to a podcast called the The Comedy Button. The hosts consists of 4 Video game journalist and 1 Game developer that I know and love who are best friends and pretty much sit in a room, and hang out with microphones in their faces. The subject matter of this podcast ranges from talking about Ninja Turtles to their lives, to how shitty of a human being Guy Fieri is. I listen to the new episodes every week and in my spare time when I am cooking, cleaning, or just bored and I back track and listen to older episodes. Now in the episodes that I have been listening to a lot of listeners have been writing in about their relationship problems or for the lack of better terms their inability to achieve having a relationship. I laughed at their reactions to these emails when I came to a shocking realization. I am one of those idiots. Like the males in these emails. I am rather young, 20 to be exact, and I dont do a whole bunch. I don't have a car and all my friends live rather far from me. im almost 400 pounds, I do have a job which is pretty shitty, but other then that I sit at home playing video games, or jerking off to porn. the only things that I would say i do that really build me as a person and would make me a interesting candidate for being some girls boyfriend is that I am a pretty good cook, and I play the bass, but I have been in a band for about a year and a half. I will like it to be noted that I am not a, virgin and I have had one "real" relationship. I thought about that with pride like it separated me from the others but then I looked back at that relationship and realized how shitty it was before the reason we broke up. Her name will be Stacy in this so as not to start shit with her. Now I cant speak for Stacy at this moment seeing as I havent talked to her in 2 and a half years nor do I really give a shit about her existence or whether or not shes breathing, but we were rather perfect for each other at that time in our lives. I say that because we were both lazy pieces of shit. Neither of us had jobs, or a car. We would literally spend everyday at either my house or hers. We would spend the days either watching movies, or playing video games AND having sex pretty much all fucking day. we almost completely ignored my friends, (although luckily I was in a band at the time so I at least got to do that and see them through that.)and we both had no goals for ourselves after high school except moving in together and pretty fucking all days long in the comfort of our own home. I was content with doing nothing with somebody who wanted to do nothing.....UNTIL Stacy cheated on me 3 times. I still stayed with her after that because at that point it had become routine and I was afraid of the thought of being alone, but eventually we couldnt take it anymore and we broke up. Now fast forward to today, I still do the same thing but alone, and I have a job. Getting to the point of all this these guys tell the mailers they really need to go out there and make something of themselves . Not necessarily about school or anything but making yourself a much more interesting person. GO OUTSIDE and DO things, cause its not so much about getting the girl to like you its more about showing WHY the girl should like you, because you are not going find someone worth being with until you go out there and find them. In the process make some mistakes, hang out with your friends and do dumb things. This has hit me like a ton of bricks. I get it. I am a fat loser, until I go out there and change that. I havent had a relationship in over two years. I have had sex with a girl in two years. Thats because I havent tried. That all being said its still cool to like nerdy things, like video games and comics but in moderation. Its gonna take a while before I can get where I want to be. I have to get a better job, get a car, and really try to lose weight in the process. I really would like to thank The Comedy Button for helping me realize this before I really got far down this rabbit hole. You guys are fucking awesome and hilarious and Im really gonna try.