#maybe idek

[andrea-has-a-malicious-intent]

Making my husbands interact, I know that right.

[imnotafraidtodisappear]

guys appreciate my outfit today

[theslenderversesystem]

"We probably don't have bpd, no way"

Then we get hit by the sudden moodswings in the middle of class ( true story btw we almost cried and hit ourselves many times in the middle of class because we didn't get all the notes down before they scrolled )

[n0ahsebastians]

every time i wanna start a fic, i don’t even end up writing it all the way and it just sits there. and then i feel like i’m letting everybody down bc i don’t have it in me to write anything :/

[thescarletgoat]

who was gonna tell me that fucking SMURFETTE was my awaking or was I just supposed to figure that out myself ???????????

[sage-greenery]

kinda interesting that mike first met will by choice; he chose to go up to him on the swingset that day (the best thing hes ever done and all that)

but he "stumbled upon (el) in the wood" out of "simple dumb luck" (she just needed someone)

something something metaphor something something prehaps

[morkiplier]

i would like to think that our chaoticness on tumblr is what keeps mark active on here instead of other social media but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[im-here-for-the-content]

So...I got blood drawn today

I am largely afraid of needles.

I had to get about 4-5 shots for university recently, and that really pushed me to my limit.

I, however, have never gotten blood drawn, and the NP I went to go see this week was like okay we have to remedy that.

So this morning I went, and let me tell you, the fear I felt was every bit as great as when I was a child getting vaccinated, but with the benefit of knowing that thrashing is not going to be helpful at all. I was genuinely imagining flinching and having my vein ripped by the needle.

The phlebotomist I had working with me was great but I let her know ahead of time I was new to this and very afraid, but that I was determined not to make this hard for either of us.

I made a liar of myself a little when she cleaned the area with an alcohol wipe and I flinched like I'd been flicked between the eyes.

I have to say that there is probably no more menacing a sound than a needle kit being opened. That may be the fear talking still. My heart is pounding typing this.

Anyway! I was all prepped and the needle is out and when she inserted it I was automatically alarmed but determined to remain frozen. My eyes are huge just watching her kind of search for a vein and then she finds it and grabs the first vial.

Seeing the red, my blood but I sort of disassociated myself from that reality in the moment, was so disconcerting. Your upper arm has a rubber strip tied over it so your veins become more prominent and it just seemed like they were panicking like I was.

She very calmly switches from vial to vial until they're all full and then she gets the gauze pad while telling me it was over. She took the needle out too fast for my dissociated eyes to acknowledge, it probably wasn't that fast but I felt like I was in shock, and there were two blood drops that landed on my forearm. Like the normal person I am, I immediately thought 'hmm blood spatter a crime happened here.'

So she wraps the area with the gauze and all and I'm just sitting there shaking. She thought I was going to faint, but I just felt like I had escaped being attacked. My voice was so shaky with relief and leftover fear. There was probably adrenaline idek. I walked out with my stiff arm and my mother was like okay let's go, and I've just been overly protective of my arm today. It doesn't hurt, but I do still feel wary of anything touching it.

That was my morning.