#mayweeps

[mayvora]

chat how do we feel about spoke being a blackhole. a dead star incarnated into most dangerous and hopeless thing a universe can create. one that pulls people into its center trapping them in the same fucking misery. did I cook.

[mayvora]

very normal about promiseduo btw. anyway.

invis arc promise duo when Wemmbu haven't even started trusting Jaden yet so he doesn't sleep near him, only pretends to (dum fuckin ass get your rest) and so I just imagine him laying still, so uncomfortable cause he is the most adhd person ever and has to force himself to not move; and Jaden is just chilling and taking his 4 hour nightshift to then change with the cool Knight he picked up :) and Jaden has been alone for so fuckin long that he is so scared to lose this one person he juuuust got so he sits very very close to him at night to make sure he can protect his Knight if something happens. And also watching for their invis cause! again! he doesn't want to lose them! and them un-invising will most likely make them go away!

And OBVIOUSLY this makes Wemmbu even MORE nervous cause HE IS TOO CLOSE TO ME SOOOO EASY TO STAB!! he WILL hurt me I CANNOT! fall asleep!

He falls asleep. Out of the fucking exhaustion. This guy havent slept well in weeks too scared to let his invis run out. even if it's 8 hours and reasonably he can sleep like 7 and be fine but it's Wemmbu we are talking about come on. ball of fucking anxiety! Maybe he doesn't fall asleep the first two or three nights with Jaden but he definitely falls asleep eventually. Jaden tries to wake them up to change shifts with them like they did before that but can't! they just don't wake up! so tired! so dumass!

So Jaden stops trying and just sits the entire shift near them, guarding their first friend after. A WHILE. so desperate to trust someone again and share his space with someone again! missing flame! cause I love tideblaze and you can try to take tideblaze outta my cold dead hands and I will rise up from death to protect my tideblaze. I think too much about them chat. too much.

I can imagine Wemmbu waking up VERY LATE and PANICKING. Not seeing Jaden near him, checking his invis, thinking OHHH I'M SO FUCKED. I NEED TO GO FIND JADEN AND KILL HIM IMMEDIATELY. WAIT wait why am I still alive. and I have four hours of invis but the sun is up in the sky... what... And then Jaden just walks out of the woods all chill and smiling and goes "oh you're awake!! cool!! I was worried your invis will start blinking again soon. I reapplied it this morning dntworry!! I didn't look!" fucking hell of course he fucking didn't he would not be talking to Wemmbu like that if he did! "anyways I'm making fish soup!! get up it will be ready soon!"

Wemmbu fucking hates fish soup. Him and Egg had to eat it while being stuck in the Great Sea with nothing! But Jadens soup actually tastes very nice and it's warm and comforting and Wemm actually starts to like it, yk. Just. Just a little bit.

And Jaden looks more tired than he should, and none of them comment on that, but Wemmbu doesn't skip his midnight to morning shift anymore. Because he doesn't stay up while Jaden guards anymore. Funny how trust works?

He doesn't trust Jaden. He doesn't. But sleeping near him might... not be so. bad.

Especially not when Jaden sings something in soft quiet voice to keep himself awake.

I imagine Wemmbu not feeling very safe in Cave Kingdom. Very not safe, very very not safe.

I imagine him crawling to lie near Jaden at nights cause him being near makes Wemmbu feel more guarded.

I imagine Jaden awaking at night, seeing Wemmbu curled into a small ball on the edge of his bed, sighing softly and moving Bu to sleep near the wall and placing himself on the edge just so he can protect Bu when he can't protect himself.

Neither of them ever talks about that. But there is always some empty space left on Jadens bed even though the bed is fuckin tiny as fuck.

[mayvora]

going through spotify quotes // spokeishere

im goin a lliiiiiilll bit insane here

[mayvora]

from the side it looks like spoke is using null but I think what is actually happening is that null is using spoke

[mayvora]

I'm going around pinterest collecting words and quotes and lyrics hoping something will eventually inspire me to write. and this is my collection of "fuck this is spokeishere"

feel free to add. OR feel free to request me a duo to write cause I am desperate for inspiration and nothing fucking hits meeeee...

[mayvora]

So I talked about maces on twt couple o'months ago and I kinda wanted to put it hereeee cause I love "maces have their own personality" headcanons and all the humanisations of maces I've seen :33 yeee. go my giant tumblr post

order of maces if you just wanna skip to the one you like: Minute -> Jaden(+Lomedy kinda) -> Shoebilly -> Boosfer -> LettyK -> Lomedy (+Flame) -> Spoke!!

No Wemmbu cause there are a lot of Wemmbu maces already and idk if my headcanons are very different from what other people have created lolll. but if you want to I can talk about them too!

I have a lil hc that every mace wielder (from those who use their mace a lot or at least have had them for a while) have a tattoo on their arm so the weapon is like summonable + they can talk to their mace in their head sometimes ! yay

I bet knighfall would carry some of minutes guilt of killing during invismafia days. they seem to be quite similar in my head; both reserved, honorable, kind (I know weird for a mace but I do see Knighfall as kind and non-violent; she fights to protect not just as of bloodlust)

I think Minute and Knighfall would have peaceful calm conversations while sitting together on the edge of end islands. They are each other's therapy.

And I personally headcanon that Minute brought her from Altar !! Cause I really really really love altar. My comfort media. So even if in my headcanons everyone's memories of other smps are blurred, Knightfalls aren't and she tells Minute all about that different world where they were never manipulated and were never FORCED to kill and fought their honorable-ish battles and the people they killed didn't die forever and they all just had fun. And she talks about Evorai, a lot, cause he is Altar!Minute's best friend. And he misses him even if he can't remember him clearly.

Jaden: I actually don't remember if his mace has a name, I'm pretty sure in the law arc it didn't and I don't know if it does now. I do consider going back and rewatching his recent video cause I Know his mace is named there. Hehe.

Obviously his mace is very piraty like he is and I imagine her:

1. Being a hella good singer

2. Really fucking loving rain because of course she does

3. Having Quite A Temper cause someone needs to boost that anxious pirate and - sometimes - kick his ass (Jaden I love you I swear to gods lmao)

4. Being good friends with his trident because of fucking course

5. LOVING bright colors and collecting pieces of cloth that are BRIGHT and COOL

6. Having quite the confidence lol cause Jaden Has Aura (she does not care for loss, she only cares for victory)

7. Being insanely stubborn

8. Having compass as her heart

9. Being still attached to lomedy :(

10. Enjoying fields and wheet and feeling calm in the farmerlands

11. And being feisty in the sea

I imagine her and Jaden had very bad relationship at the start and Did Not Get Along but at some point he started treating her less as a weapon and more like a friend since she was the only person he had in his life at that point and he was really fuckinh lonely.

they probably became friends when Jaden started singing just to keep their mood up and I imagine it reminded her of how Lomedy would sing when he worked.

and now THE SHOEBILLEYY cause it's short and it's funny

He does NOT get along with his mace. Zero friendship EVER. that man has NO FRIENDS and his mace is NOT an exception. I imagine her being far more THINKING than he is and trolling the fuck outta him like BOY YOU HAVE NO FRIEEENDSSSSS and he is constantly so pissed at her I swear. She does not, like, despise him, they just really don't get along + she has boosfer-ish personality because I dearly enjoy annoying friendless chud Shoebilly . Lol.

On that hand, Boosfers mace is a menace. She might not be strong (girl has no enchants ever) (my poor baby please give her enchants I beg) but God Is She A Problem. She will struck your most ANNOYING places and like okay it's not a strong hit BUT FUCK SHE HITS THE ELBOW. OR A FUCKIN EAR AND IT FUCKING BUZZES NONSTOP. her and Boosf are absolutely besties and she is a richbich personality a bit and they fuckin gossip about everyone. Giggling sweetly :33

She is also a bit glitchy like boosfer cause that's how I imagine her and she adores Wemmbu but not in the friends way but in the Fuckinh Guy That is SOOO FUNNY when he is losing his shit. Wemmbu DESPISED holding her genuinely worst experience of his life he immediately begged heavens for Gambit to be back. her and Wemmbu is like Awww That Bug I Like To Smash lol

That girl cares less about a win and more about Being A Fucking Problem

I think Letty's mace sounds like church bells and they have that almost-religion-like treatment of justice. Like uhh I'm trying to explain my thoughts wait... uhh... English humbes me...

like. If carrying Justice was their oath. The path they follow whole-heartedly. They don't always agree. Lettuce and his Mace. The more Letty falls and breaks his own rules and standards the more fights they have. And like they are still on Lettuce's side because 1. They don't really have a choice 2. They still see the light in him. It is THERE. just uh...Yeah. Lettuce might've had a lot of disagreements with them but they are a loyal one so they stayed till the end.

I would imagine them not being very fond of other maces EXCEPT Knightfall cause they both have like honor and their own code of not just killing anyone and everyone. Yea, two not so bloodlusty maces. Would be friends in other universe euhhh... :(

My god I DO remember the name of Flame+Lomedy mace I just don't know how to write it. English humbles me again. Y'all know who I'm talking about anyway.

Another not-so-bloodlusty mace, actually! Huge part of why Flame doesn't understand mace using is that him and Lommy's mace just don't get along very well. Like, she doesn't hate Flame... But they have very different personalities. And he constantly pushes her to do more death death death stuff and She Is Not Fond Of It! They argue a lot. She still works with him tho cause he promised he'll give her back to Lomedy and she misses him and also actually thinks that him staying in the prison is stupid as fuck. That's one thing they agree on LOL.

She does get influenced a bit by Flame and it shows even when she's with Loms again. But, uh, she doesn't get bloodlusted. Instead she kinda adopts some of his habits... and his music tastes... and also starts being bossy with Lomedy esp when she thinks he is doing something stupid. But they are actually good good friends. I imagine her being that one mace that belonged to Loms best friend and that's why

1. She is very protective of Lomedy

2. She is very protective of Flame (cause she does not want Lomedy to be along again)

3. She had a bad bad temper when she just lost her first owner and was very bloodlusty. And Loms did not know what to do with her and she wanted him to KILL. And he wanted her to CHILL. she did learn that. Eventually. Funny, but, just like the other Loms mace (the one that now belongs to Jaden), she also found a connection to her wielder through songs. I think that's sweet af.

She legit has a bell on her also cause Loms is afraid to lose her 😭😭 it's like little bells like a bracelet yk...

She MISSES HER FRIEND MACE THAT IS IN JADENS HANDS. she was very pushy to get her back from Jaden. Not like Flame NEEDED to be pushed to try to take her but she deffo didn't help bruhhh

(the post is old but this is basically what I thought when spoke just got the mace teheee)

last one that I remember (not accounting for invis blue trim I need to know who that is to do any analysis): SPOKE::::!!!!!!!! SPOKEEEEEE!!! SPOKEMACE!!!!!

I imagine it being very very very not talking and reserved to itself and like, DROWNED. constantly overwhelmed by all the new things happening around it. Cause it spent so long in Null hands and I don't think Null have like personalities of their own (my headcanon: they are being like striped off their own personality to be used as perfect soldiers) and so like it is not used to talking to someone

the first time they start talking to eachother they both freak out cause wOW YOU CAN TALK?? and ohhh you're so loud and you have so many thoughts and you're. a person. and it's so wrong and weird and I don't know what to do. And when Spoke figures it out he becomes like very gentle with it and soft and nice cause it is like a scared lil animal that is just learning how to walk. and Spoke really likes his new friend. And that even when the mace learns of "how terrible he is" it still doesn't hate him. They very quickly form a massive fuckin bond and I think they gonna help each other a lot and yea,,,,, cute eyes,,,,, I love them already

[mayvora]

back on my uuspoke timeline. uuspoke with the crown/halo made of witherskulls. uuspoke being in the closed room leads to lightsources around him slowly unnoticeably dimming cause he eats light. without even realising it. uuspoke being driven to places with more light because he is always hungry for light and not even knowing why is he so driven to light. uuspoke reaching for the highest title because what do they say about first-places having all the spotlight? uuspoke ruining his friends cause they are his light and he is, unfortunately, a black. hole.

also I've finally took the patchbreakers earring off spoke (in my mind cause I'm artblocked ugh) and now it is in Underscores hands. I wonder if they threw it out or if they've kept it. choose your own evil or something like that.

[mayvora]

hey unstable fandom so. uh. the thought is.

Youth - Daughter as UU season one protags. Why? Oh, well.

"Youth"

Shadows settle on the place, that you left. - spokes home + spawn; the shadow being the spawntrap created by mafia; the one who left being not spoke, but jamatoP.

Our minds are troubled by the emptiness. - spoke feeling the empty place on the point that belonged to jamato and minute; to people he lost because of his own mistakes.

Destroy the middle, it's a waste of time.  - destroy yourself. destroy your middle. destroy your soul, destroy your heart. and she is on your hands, and she is dead, she is gone; oh, Rose, with you dies the part of his morale.

From the perfect start to the finish line. - from having fun with jamato to all the troubles it brought. to mafia. to war that would never end because even after mafia is gone,.. the minds are already broken. the friendships are already lost. the people are already gone. violence is a mechanism that doesn't stop after it is started once.

(and now you only have mappic left. the only person who is still with you. someone you CANNOT afford to lose.)

(you'll lose.)

(you.will.lose.)

(yourself.)

And if you're still breathing, you're the lucky ones.

'Cause most of us are heaving through corrupted lungs.

Setting fire to our insides for fun

Collecting names of the lovers that went wrong

The lovers that went wrong.

We are the reckless, - wemmbu is thoughtless, careless, does not consider the consequences of his actions. he moves fast, striking momentarily and so not giving himself even the second to consider,

We are the wild youth - to think about what he does and why. because it is way too heavy burden for him to explain even to himself why he does the things he does.

Chasing visions of our futures - chasing the power, chasing the items, chasing the player you want dead, chasing the stupid but such important to you dream of building something with your hands and giving your soul to it

One day we'll reveal the truth - and you will never admit how much it means to you, how much this friendship with zam meant to you, how much this colony meant to you, how much the people you've met meant to you,

That one will die before he gets there. - and no matter how much you hide it from yourself, it still hurts like hell when it is gone, because it is always gone destroyed, your colony fell, your friends hate you, everything leaves you like the sand running down from your hands. so you bury it again and again; you do not care.

(your sentimental shulker sells you, you know that, right?)

And if you're still bleeding, you're the lucky ones.

'Cause most of our feelings, they are dead and they are gone.

We're setting fire to our insides for fun.

Collecting pictures from a flood that wrecked our home,

It was a flood that wrecked this home.

And you caused it, - spoke knows deep inside that it is his fault; HE messed with dupped items, HE gave ash those coordinats, HE pushed away his friends, HE KILLED ROSE. HE failed.

And you caused it, - wemmbu knows that is his fault everyone leaves him, hates him; he is no more than a force of destruction, he brings only harm and it pays to him tenfold, breaking everything he ever loved. he left and he failed and he is the lost cause. for a reason, always, a lost cause to everyone who tries to give him a chance.

And you caused it - parrot, oh, parrot. oh, parrot.

(it is all my fault. their deaths are all my fault; mine, mine, mine.)

Well I've lost it all, I'm just a silhouette, - without you I am the empty shell; I call for you, I call your names, and yet again and again no one answeres back. only a memory of you in my mind, and everyone I've trusted either left or died.

I'm a lifeless face that you'll soon forget, - I hope that one day you will be happy without me; because then and there, walking out of district 13, you said it yourself - you would be better without me. I've only ever brought you harm. Every place I've came to is now dust.

My eyes are damp from the words you left, - and I remember everything you said to me; and I remember everything I will never be able to say. How I will never tell you how much you inspired me to be a better person, how much your diary changed what I am; I'll never be able to tell you how much you actually mattered and how I forgave you before I've lost you but you've already left the place where I buried you just hours later; I'll never be able to--

Ringing in my head, when you broke my chest. - without you, I'm nothing but a beacon with no blocks under it,

Ringing in my head, when you broke my chest. - without you, how can I ever shine?

(from someone I've barely knew to someone who is a part of me so much that without you I am hollow.)

And if you're in love, then you are the lucky one,

'Cause most of us are bitter over someone.

Setting fire to our insides for fun,

To distract our hearts from ever missing them.

But I'm forever missing him.

And you caused it, - and parrot with the spyglass, and he cannot talk again;

And you caused it, - and wemmbu with mane's shield, and he cannot trust again,

And you caused it - and spoke with THE chestplate, and he is not himself, never again.