So this is an apology of sorts addressed to @aphmau; please read if you want to understand what I meant by apology and I’m also addressing my own behavior in this fandom.
Also a small announcement at the end too, that I’d appreciate y’all read.
So there’s no easy way to start out a letter like this, so I’ll be frank because being blunt and frank is what I do best.
I’m sorry. Not specifically for the things I said but the way I said them. I’m a person who takes pride in being mature and responsible for my actions, but I’m just a person, flaws and all, and with my anger, I failed at extending that thought to you, Jess. And I’m sorry.
I don’t take back my criticisms about the series, because with every product produce, it’s good to have a group of people who care enough to tell what’s okay and not okay. Not to dictate or change the way you write but to remind you, as your exposure continues to grow and your audience, certain things will prove or be more harmful than good. I’ve been a fan for almost four years, though actively joined this fandom and producing content for almost a year. You’ve and your fandom grown, for better and for worse in many ways.
But what I can appreciate and respect is that you’re trying.
Trying but a part of me is worried: are you alright Jess?
I’m not close to you, I’m saying this as an outside looking in, but are you alright? You’re overworking yourself, I noticed, to produce more, to have content every day, more and more and more and more. I’m not going to pretend I know how managing a business is, I’m going to pretend I know what’s going on or the specific stress you’re going through.
I’ve been examining my behavior as of late, and let me confess this: I realize, lately, I become mean-spirited and more bitter, tired is the way I phrase what I’m feeling. I feel negative, and I hate that.
And from what I’m seeing, this negativity been affecting you too, wearing down your health.
I’m not going to forgive some of the things that happened and I’m aware that you don’t have to forgive me. But formally, I want to apologize for my behavior and the negativity I brought. I want to critic your work and I won’t stop that nor tip-toe around my opinions but at the end of the day, you do bring content that I still enjoy and take part of, and through your fandom I met a lot of wonderful people that still anchor me to this place despite the hate I receive and the negativity I do give.
I do wish in the future to see your improvement because you’re not a terrible writer, there’s a reason why I’m drawn to the world and characters you’ve written, and even if I personally (not speaking on a fandom wide, but as personally thing) feel like you went off trail, some of the jokes you’ve done and your hesitation with including more lgbt+ representation have left a sour taste, I want to start over. I want to start over with a more positive outlook and to remind you, I don’t hate you, I don’t think of you as a horrible person, how I look at you is as a person who’s invested in your works and seen you taken a turn down a path that won’t do you any favors.
But, take a deep breath, because from what I seen, you’re working yourself to the bone and risking your health for the fans.
The beauty of receiving criticism is that you can change, I know you can change, I believe you can.
To you, Jason and the rest of your staff, I appreciate what you bring us. At the end of the day, I might say things that will be taken as negative and my frustrations clear when I want only to start a dialogue. This fandom, I felt, grown too divided and dark, and there isn’t a way to reboot it completely but I decided I’m at least play my part as a fan and try to be more positive, for my sake, for other peoples’ sake, for your sake.
And if you reached to the bottom of this letter, thank you.
