#md system vent

[n-bot-300]

Haha... It probably doesn't help we've been doing a bit poor mentally, does it? I guess that's why I've been so stuck in the mud lately.

[n-bot-300]

I miss my Uzi, I miss her so much. I know it is out of my control and I know I won't see her again but I wish I could just... hold her cheeks one last time and tell her how much I love her.

I know I can't realistically go back to my source but I just... miss her so much, I do I really do. I try not to think about it too hard because I don't want to make everyone deal with me being sad but sometimes it gets hard. She was the person I held on the strongest to, she meant so much to me and now she's just... never going to be there again? I'll never be able to be with her? Hold her hand? Watch her call me a dork while she giggles?

It's hard to think about it. The more alone I end up, the harder it is not to have it in my mind, though. I really wish I had told her just how much I loved her one more time. I... don't know how to deal with it, honestly? I don't know how to deal with the longing.