The end or the beginning
Ill be getting back to my multi part op-ed about my opinion of “KEK” soon. For today, I am living on the brink between a sadness that a significant part of my life has (kinda of) ended, and the optimism of a future where I can focus a little more on other priorities, like FurtheMore.
Last night, after yet another round of vitriol, hatred, and comments designed to make me feel like shit and a complete failure... the camels back broke. Irime and myself both stepped down from being moderators in the MDfurs telegram chat.
This has NO EFFECT whatsoever on FurtheMore. I will still be running that and trying to have fun and make a fun event for everyone. I just... need space.
Now FIRST: Irime has done as much if not more work than I in helping to keep things moving in MDFurs. However, furries (humans) have a tendency to lump everything onto one person. Kinda like how everyone lumps the success or failure of our government on the President and completely ignores the fact that really all the power of change is congress. Irime did a tremendous amount though, and people just glossed over the fact that she was also resigning. Which is partly my fault... I should have taken a breath, and held my toungue for 24 hours to let her go first. Sadly, my emotions got the best of me and I typed before my arms reacted by throwing my laptop across the room.
So thank you Irime. Thank you for being the leader that started the idea of bringing all the MDFurs fractured groups together under one banner. Thank you for letting me be your foot soldier while you stood behind me and supported everything. THANK YOU for allowing me to be the instrument of your love for the furries in this area. I’m sorry they couldnt see you behind me, and I’m sorry that it resulted in you getting very little appreciation for what you do.
Second, were not going away. We will still be around the chat, Im still functioning as “IT” to run the website, and for the time being to keep the MDfurs chat open because telegram has no way to transfer ownership. We will also be going to meets and trying to have fun with everyone. At least until I get shipped out to a new location outside of Maryland. We've made a lot of great friends and acquaintances and we would rather not lose those. The problem is, and the reason why we stepped down, is because we no longer have the spoons to deal with running the chat group along with everything else we do. I have school, applications to the physician assistant program, three jobs, and Furthemore to worry about. She has her job, crafting, and one of the hardest jobs in FurtheMore. Never mind the other conventions I volunteer as staff for.
We also simply have run out of the emotional stamina to deal with the small groups of people that have decided that someone is a shitty person and shouldn't be in the group at all... let alone give them a chance to contribute. Usually this involves a single person as a quarterback with a team of players around them ready to tackle anyone who disagrees. Of course, theres an opposing team.
In 25 years of running online communities, I have only ever seen this level of political/personal discourse in a group one time. Every other time, yeah... there was people who disliked each other, but they still worked together to make the group better because the group was more important than their personal vendettas.
So my view of what has been happening is like refereeing a football game. No matter what decision you make, half of the stadium loves you, and half of the stadium hates you. Eventually what happens is that both halves hate you because at some point in time you have made decisions against both teams, and so they all agree that youre a shitty referee because your impartial, unbiased, unemotionally affected decisions do not favor one side or the other. (yeah I know the gif is wrestling, just go with it)
The mud and shit that starts flying from the bleachers at you starts small, but over time begins to be overwhelming. You put on a rain jacket so it all slides off, but its one of those nylon jackets that stops it, but not completely. So eventually some of it starts to seep in and make you feel like shit all over. Finally, you reach a decision point where you have to decide if you are going to continue to stand there and let yourself get covered in shit while trying to make the best decisions possible, and you feel like you can do it. Until that last few people. They don't throw the shit, they charge the field and run up to you and slam it in your face, rubbing it in while demanding that you not only smell and accept that shit, but that you will stand there and keep accepting that shit until you make a decision that appeases their wrath. Then it breaks... and you realize that you can turn away and walk calmly off the field, letting a new referee take over.... or you can let loose, and take all the shit thats piled up around you and cannon it back on everyone... knowing that you'll not only hit the ones who probably deserve it, but also the ones that really don’t.
So you turn... and walk way. You can go into the box and be an instant replay ref, or just stop refereeing, but right then... at that moment, you just need to get off the field.
Thats what we felt like last night... and even as we walked off the field, some of the team fans tried to throw ropes and drag us back in... because after all... *we* started this shit, we weren’t allowed to just walk away. A little tug on the rope, a little leak of the vomit that you were trying to hold in until you got off the field. You're off... it’s done... take a breath and figure out where to go from here.
So it’s sad. After so much effort, and so much time put into things, we have to step away. We have to step back and do whats important and healthy for us. Theres hope though, theres optimism that we can still be around to participate. Hell, Ill even give advice from my experience and such to those stepping up to the line to transition into a new future. We still want to see the MDFurs community to succeed. WE still want to see everyone statewide be able to work together and have great events. Sure, MOST of the time people aren't going to go from eastern shores to attend a western Maryland event. It doesn't matter. What matters is being one community, by furries, for furries. Regional distinctions are ok, just don't disconnect. Dont remove yourself from the community because a few people get on your nerves. Live, love grow. We will still be around the area for at least a year, potentially up to three years. I only hope that in 10 years or so when I am done with the military that I can come back and find a thriving, caring, cohesive community of furries still going strong. and come to Mid-Atlantic Fur-B-Que... we feed you... lots! https://midanthro.regfox.com/fur-b-que-2017-you-autmn-rock-it of course, come to FurtheMore, I still want to make that the regions best furry convention, and I need everyones involvement to do it, attendees and staff. See you out there!