Mean something to someone
This time only an excerpt from one of my writings, definitely one of the most depressing ones I ever wrote so fair warning.
I know this isn’t usual for me to add something like this but just remember suicide is never the answer, please let others know, people are there for you when you need it most. Sometimes you just have to look for them. Nobody wants to see you go.
Mean something to someone
"...There’s a saying that says “no matter who you are, or what you’ve done in your life, there will be at least fifteen people at your funeral crying out ‘I wish I had been there for you when you needed me most.’” People just assume other’s don’t care about them. People assume that ending it would help others more then them being there. People assume...you know what. I don’t know what people assume. I’m not them. I haven’t seen what they’ve seen’ I haven’t been through what they’ve been through, and I haven’t had the chance to live through what horrors they have. I can only compare events of tragedy, I can’t say I lived through theirs. That would be lying. And I’m not going to be the lying bastard at someone's funeral saying shit like ‘I’ve been through what you’ve been through, I would’ve been there for you if you had just let me known.’ No. I will be the one at a person’s funeral crying my eye’s out remembering every second I spent with that person. From simple event’s like me waiting outside of the bathroom for them, to the best where we held each other under the oak tree as teens. Where we carved our names into that tree to remember, no matter what we’d always be there for each other. Where we giggled like school girls as the colorful tree laid precious auburn colored leaves upon each others faces. I remember when they laughed so hard they hurt themselves when a leaf hit me in the eye. Now I have to go back to that tree and cry in front of it every time because it reminds me of all we did together. All that had to stop. Because I wasn’t there for them. Because I couldn’t hold them close when they needed it. Because I broke our promise, I wasn’t there when they needed me. And I’ll be there at their funeral crying until they come back. I’d cry so long I’d die of dehydration just so I could be next to them, one more time. But it’s not my time. My path continues. And as much is it hurts me. As much as it kills me. As much as it makes me want to have a breakdown everytime I think about it. My path goes on...without them..."