This afternoon, I'm reading KNOW MY NAME by Chanel Miller. I'm not too far into it yet, and on page 6, I've already been hit with a shocking dose of familiarity. "Perhaps it is not the particulars of the assault itself that we have in common, but the moment after; the first time you are left alone." I've been assaulted on more than one occasion; I've been assaulted by more than one man. And the moment after I most remember is after my last assault, the one I escaped. I remember sitting on the closed toilet seat, picking glass out of my feet. I left my phone on the counter, texts from a friend coming in every few minutes, but my silenced phone didn't catch my attention. With my eyes open now, I can return to that moment in vivid detail. I remember the anger, the exhaustion, and the isolation. I don't remember the pain, only the facts. Glass. Blood. Gravel. Cuts on my feet. Sweat. Gross, wet underwear. A broken shoe, a black high heel. The smell of old fries. Being thirsty. Then I remember the next moment, the one where I saw dozens of texts from my friend asking how I was doing, what I needed--texts focused on me, not what had just happened. The moment alone was suffocating, and the next moment not completely alone was like coming up for air. . I've read several #memoirs about the aftermath of #sexualassault, and I completely believe Chanel Miller is right in this passage. The moment alone in the after is absolutely a point of familiarity we survivors understand about each other. #metoo❤️ #meetoomovement #chanelmiller #chanelmillerknowmyname #KnowMyName #rapeawareness #rapesurvivor #survivor https://www.instagram.com/p/CJHM3J7HnGm/?igshid=exexq15im68z
