Apr 21, 2021
And life goes on. . . except for mine. It seems I'm permanently frozen in time. I wonder if I'll be here forever.
seen from United States
seen from Maldives
seen from Saudi Arabia
seen from Germany
seen from China
seen from Singapore
seen from Netherlands
seen from Ecuador
seen from China
seen from China
seen from China
seen from Indonesia
seen from Singapore
seen from United States
seen from Finland
seen from Russia
seen from China
seen from Finland
seen from China
seen from United States
And life goes on. . . except for mine. It seems I'm permanently frozen in time. I wonder if I'll be here forever.
That precious and delusional first year of chronic illness where you still believe you will ever feel well again because you are in denial that you lost the biological lottery HARD and have been completely screwed over for life
The more I hear the older women in my family talk about their husbands, the more grateful I am to be a lesbian.
I think I may some kind of alterhuman or otherkin, but I don't know what. I just know I've always had this really weird feeling of disconnection from my humanity that is hard to put into words.
What I've needed to hear since I was twelve:
It doesn't matter if you are a cis man, trans woman, or nonbinary. You are allowed to be feminine as an AMAB person. You are allowed to fully own, express, and be proud of your femininity. You are also allowed to be attracted to women. It doesn't make you wrong or dirty. Your femininity isn't an accessory for men and your sense of identity shouldn't revolve around them.
I don't know if I feel like just a straight up goat or some goat-like creature/monster/demon/cryptid.
I've been tossing around the idea that I'm otherkin. When I journey, I naturally almost always see myself as a humanoid goat creature, but the thought of a quadrupedal stance feels strange & uncomfortable. The cloven hooves are the big one. I've even physically felt my toes merge into hooves. Alternative aspects of me usually appear the same way, often as shadows.
I desperately want to get back into drawing, but with my chronic pain, I don' know if that will ever be possible. It's the only thing I really feel passionate about.