#melmisery

[melkingsbush]

the pitt having multiple scenes of mel straight up describing autistic traits in relation to herself and somehow still not Getting It is peak comedy actually

[bigdyke]

the way she starts IMMEDIATELY humming 😭

[melking]

What if I'm just cosmic dust? Put me in a metal box that's bound to rust Shoot me into space and leave me to combust Return to earth and just dissolve into its crust

MEL KING + DARWINISM // HALSEY

[dykeindigo]

[foolforlovestories1088]

Our girl drops an FBomb. You know she's done with this day

And Dana is just the best

[margathings]

mel doesn't have a friend to call and rant to when something goes wrong, when someone at work pisses her off, when she's short on money, when she just wants to complain about life. she doesn't have a friend to talk to when she's overwhelmed, a friend to crack a joke at the right time to make her forget she was about to cry, a friend to ask to pick becca up when she's running late, a friend to drive her to run errands when her car breaks down. she doesn't have a friend she can laugh with or go to the movies with to see something other than what her sister likes. she doesn't get invited to birthday parties, or christmas, or new year's eve. actually, she spends those days with becca (if not working). and she loves becca, but it's lonely, because she has to take care of her. becca is not her best friend, as much as she likes to say she is. she could never be, because mel can't be honest with her; she has to take care of her, protect her. becca can't know about the little girl who drowned. becca can't know about the shooting at pittfest, about the deaths and the dozens of hurt people mel ran around trying to help. she can't know how exhausted mel was after donating half a liter of blood and then pushing on for like three more hours on an empty stomach (maybe that's why she suggests they have both pizza and pasta, she's starving!). she doesn't have a best friend to check on her later that night, or the next day, or ever, really.

[brainrot61]

i would love to have a productive conversation abt mel’s reaction to becca’s choices to understand the neurodivergent perspective! please don’t jump me im just going to brain dump all of my thoughts.

i think becca deserves her autonomy, i think she has the right to keep medical information from mel, and she deserves her own life.

now this is why i also understand mel’s side: mel has given everything for becca, she’s also the sole earner of income. becca doesn’t owe mel anything because she provides for her, but wouldn’t you feel some kind of way if your sister and only person in your life completely shut u out of a part of her life when u have clearly been open about everything in yours? it seems like mel doesn’t hide much from becca so i think it makes sense she’s a little upset she’s not allowed the same courtesy.

now i also think that maybe becca’s hesitancy in sharing with mel is due to her parentification. mel was forced into the role and in turn has internalized it, she is becca’s sister but she also is her sole caretaker, when making a decision mel has more than just herself and her wellbeing to think about and this has been the case since her parents died in her childhood/adolescence.

so while i understand both sides i can’t help but understand where mel comes from the most because i think it’s a bit dismissive to say she has no right to be upset abt becca not sharing, becca cancelling last minute, etc. because i would feel some kind of way if my sister and person who i’ve clearly sacrificed a lot for doesn’t take me into consideration in her life when all i do exactly that. but again this might be BECAUSE mel was forcibly parentified and in turn changing her role in becca’s life but also(at least from mel’s perspective) it seems that they had a mutually agreed upon “rule” that they share things with each other which i think is a way mel tried to maintain that sisterly relationship, so for that to be ignored would also be hurtful.

i think this is a complicated situation that honestly would come to the surface one way or the other but the king sisters can definitely get past it! they just need to talk! i think both mel and becca have valid points and reasons to be upset or be acting the way they are, i also think they can learn a lot about each other and their relationship when they talk and work things out:)

[kingdoncomes]

heyyy do you have any Mel whump? maybe getting attacked seriously and the gang surrounding her/treating her? pls (and ofc protective Frank and him helping her after, possibly nsfw lol)

major thank you and kudos to @bcrmans and @prncesselene who i bounced ideas off with about this we are all crying together

Becca King dies. And the world keeps turning.

Mel doesn't cry; she doesn't break. She just keeps going. She starts picking up doubles. Whenever someone needs someone to cover their shift, Mel quickly agrees to cover it. She just needs to keep going, and going, and going. Mel starts skipping meals, drinks more caffeine than ever, and stops responding to Frank people's calls and texts.

No one knows about Becca's passing. When Dana asks her how her sister is doing, Mel swallows down the pain and smiles at Dana, and says that Becca is fine, they just had their weekly rewatch of Elf the night before.

(Tthat's not completely untrue. Mel went home, grabbed her sister's blanket, and played elf on their—her, it's now hers, living room. She didn't cry. She laughed and laughed at the scenes she used to scoff at or roll her eyes at, she laughed and laughed until the pain was so heavy she fell asleep on the couch. Wrapped in Becca's blankets, the DVD menu of Elf reflecting upon Mel's face, her alone in the darkness. Her phone blowing up with notifications.)

Mel doesn't know who she is without her sister. Every waking moment of her life, Becca was with her. When she was born, Becca was born a minute after her. That was the longest they've ever really been away from each other. Now it's been a few days, and Mel keeps getting calls about what Becca will wear for the funeral, but that means she has to go through her sister's closet and find a dress to bury her sister in forever. Even after she lost her dad, then her mom, she had her sister. her sister, who's her world. Now it's just her, the only King left.

But the world keeps turning.

Frank tries to catch Mel's eye at work, but she always make sure to avoid him. When Frank asks around for Mel, McKay will say they just saw her with a patient, or Samira would say I haven't seen her either. He knows she's there, he can see her name on the board, and how she once dropped her hair tie at a station. She's there, but she's avoiding him.

People start to notice. First it was Trinity pulling her aside and asking her if she had eaten anything that day. Then it was Whitaker who offered her a protein bar in silence, and then Robby tells her she should take a day off.

"No, I'm okay," she tells all of them, not looking at them in the eye. "I'm fine, I can keep working."

They don't know she avoids going home. That right after the double ends, she would go walking in the park for hours until she has to go home briefly to shower and find a change of clothes. Sometimes she'd doze off on the couch in the living room, but she'd never go to her bedroom at night because her bedroom is right across Becca's and if she has to cross her sister's bedroom at night, knowing she'll never be there again, she can't do it. So instead she sleeps on the couch, letting her back get all achy and stiff all over her body, and tells herself Becca is at the center.

They bury Becca on a sunny Wednesday. Directly in the middle of the week, and it's sunny, the sun shining so bright it's making Mel's skin burn and itch under the black dress she wore. People from Becca's center came. But no one else did. Mel goes home, alone. And the world keeps turning.

She goes home, puts on her scrubs, and then clocks into work.

She didn't eat anything before the funeral or after. She just stood there as people came up to her and told her they were sorry for her loss and how Becca was the best of them. gone too soon.

Mel clocks into work after her sister's funeral, and doesn't tell anyone that her sister is gone and that she's the last King left.

She's on her feet the whole shift, switching between patient to patient. She doesn't give herself time to take a break, doesn't give herself time to think, then finally, finally everything catches up to her and she faints directly in the middle of the ER.

Mel wakes up in one of the hospital beds and is confused. Then she turns to her left, and Frank is there.

"What happened?" Mel asks, seeing how she's connected to the IV. She realizes then she hasn't talked to Frank in over a week. He's been texting her every day, calling her too, but she hasn't answered anything. She hasn't been talking to anyone really.

"You fainted, Mel." His voice is low, heavy. Eyes not straying away from her face.

"Oh," she says. then she looks down at her arm, at him, at the door, then back at him again. "I'm fine."

"You're not fine, Mel. They said you dropped over 10 pounds, and you have no food in your system. You are dehydrated, and you haven't been sleeping. They've been saying you've been drinking caffeine like fucking crazy—"

"Since when was it a crime to drink caffeine? You drink a lot too."

"You don't, Mel. You don't."

Mel shrugs, turning away from him to look at the wall. A beat passes..

"You know I called Becca's center." Mel freezes, and doesn't turn to look at him. She hopes he'll stop. He continues anyway. "I told them about how you fainted and how you wouldn't be able to pick up Becca tonight. That I'd be the one to get her tonight instead. Then they told me that Becca died a week ago, and her funeral was just yesterday."

Mel feels something heavy in her throat, and her glasses begin to fog.

"Mel."

She turns to look at him, and she blinks away her tears. "What do you want me to say? I'm sorry?"

"What? No, what the fuck? Mel, your sister just died, and you've been working like fucking crazy. And you didn't tell anyone. No one knew about Becca until I had to call the center."

You didn't tell me was left unspoken between them.

Mel stares at him. She realizes then how unkempt he is, his face pale, and the eye bags under his eyes are gaunt. She hasn't seen him in over a week, so she didn't notice. She wonders if she looks the same; she hasn't looked in the mirror since her sister died.

"Are you going to say something?" Frank asks, starting to get impatient.

"Why should I?" Mel responds. "She's my sister. not yours."

"Jesus, fuck, obviously I know that, mel. But you didn't tell me. Her funeral was yesterday? you didn't have to be alone."

"We didn't need more people," She sits up in the hospital bed and grimaces at the IV connected to her.

"You needed me."

"No, I didn't."

"Yes, you fucking did, Mel. You know how much I love Becca, and you didn't tell me. I would've come, you know that. You didn't have to be alone. Why didn't you tell me?"

And that's when Mel breaks. She can't stop the tears from streaming down her face. It was always inevitable. Frank reaches out to touch her, and she pulls back, as if she were burned.

"It's because you'd do this, Frank. You don't think I haven't been noticing what you've been doing? You're here at my bedside right now, when you weren't even on shift today. You've been calling me everyday, and asking about me all over the floor whenever we're both on shift. When I'm not around, you ask about me. You're always here, always around me even though I've made it clear that I don't want to talk to you right now, but you're still around me. And you say you love my sister, but you don't love her like I do. You don't know her like I do. Now she's gone, and I'm here, you're here, and she's not."

Her face is all scrunched up from the heartbreak overwhelming her body, desperate to break out of her. She can't see Frank clearly, him all blurry from her tears.

"It's not fair. It's not fair that I get to pass out on the floor and wake up. But my sister's not going to wake up ever again. What did she do to deserve this? She's never done anything bad, Frank. All she wants is to watch Elf every week and for us to do the morning crossword together. You know, she once cried because of how I skinned my knee off the pavement because she tripped me by accident? She apologized to me for a whole week, feeling so bad for hurting me, even though I knew it wasn't her fault. She's never done anything but be a good person. And now she's gone. And I'm still here, barely alive but alive, without her. Who am I without my sister?"

She's fully crying now, her voice thick with tears and snot all over her face. She doesn't notice that Frank is crying too.

"You have me, Mel," he says, hands at the edge of her bed, fingers flexing as if desperate to hold her but knows he can't touch her, not now, not yet.

"Do I?" she nods towards his loose wedding band on his left hand.

"That doesn't matter."

"Doesn't it?"

"You know how I feel about you, Mel."

"That's not the problem."

Frank sighs, shakes his head, and wipes at his tears. Mel doesn't wipe her face at all, doesn't even care about her appearance. She stopped caring a long time ago.

"I want to be alone, Frank."

"No," he says sternly. His gaze on her is intense. She's too tired to try to understand it anymore.

"I don't want you here."

"You're just saying that, Mel. I know you. You're shutting down. You don't have to be alone."

"You should be with your family, Frank."

"Jesus fucking Christ, Mel, you're my family too!"

Mel freezes. She's sure everybody could hear them outside the room too, even though they were given some privacy. She hates everything. She hates Frank, herself, and even Becca for leaving her. Now she has to deal with everything after Becca's death. Why couldn't she die with her?

They stare down each other, eyes not blinking. Then Frank begins to cry again. He reaches out for her left hand, wrapping her hand around his. Her hand stays stiff.

"I'm not leaving you. You can't make me." He's sobbing now. Mel continues to stare at him. She doesn't feel anything for him right now, she realizes. That's another thing Becca's death took away from her. Her ability to love.

Becca died, and Mel's love died with her. Frank's holding onto her hand like it's a lifeline, the bright fluorescent light of the hospital room reflecting off his wedding band.

And the world keeps turning.