#meltalksalot

[mel-reads]

I became an engene last December

it was a tough period of loneliness for me and then I discovered Enhypen. I loved all of the members, and their songs, dances. In a short period of time, they've become special to me and inspired me to embrace myself.

Now Heeseung is leaving Enhypen.

I'm really happy for him. But it hurts a lot, as if someone is squeezing my heart, because I am a recent fan. Feels like my memories with Ot7 are so fucking short.

I want to cry.

[mel-reads]

My friend sent me a pic of Jay from the weverse con festival through insta

ARE YOU KIDDING ME 😩

[mel-reads]

Are you fucking kidding me? Two days before his birthday, there's news that he's been stalked for a long time? Are saesangs for real right now?

This is ridiculous. This is the worst year of Jay's life. He's an idol and a human being, not your fucking toy.

Oh my god, I'm praying for him.

[mel-reads]

so I'm trying to make a cover of highway 1009 on yt because I see a bunch of engenes losing hope but my guitar skills suck.

[mel-reads]

I'm so fucking tired guys even enha can't fix my mood rn. This is exactly why I stopped writing. And now I'm looking at my older drafts to feel better but all i feel is shame resentment and guilt.

Maybe I force myself to write something idk. Even if no one will read it.

[mel-reads]

treating tumblr like my personal diary atp besides nobody reads my stuff anyways

[mel-reads]

Fucking hate myself. I can't write can't sing and I'm probably going to fail this semester too

[mel-reads]

Just rewatched Endgame because I'm writing about Marvel in my assignment. I'm a fucking masochist.