#meme day:zana

[abcwithmsz]

What do they dream about?

"Like, dreaming dreaming? I take an anti-anxiety and it gives me the wildest dreams. They're like, super vivid, sometimes even lucid dreaming or night terrors, but once I wake up whatever it was is gone.

But like, daydreaming? Lately it's been about maybe going back and getting my masters in counseling or something so I could do art therapy? But I've also been thinking a lot about fostering and I wouldn't want to be in a rigorous program as a foster parent, so I'm trying to set the short, medium, and long term goals.

But also sometimes I daydream about different projects I could do around the house now that it's not falling apart, or I've been running more again lately and think I might try for the New York Marathon."

[abcwithmsz]

💔 = Has your muse ever been heartbroken? If so, explain what happened.

"It's obviously been hard in the dating scene here, whether it's the lack of candidates or just... How the world is, my biggest heartbreak was the betrayal I felt from my ex-husband.

Y'know this was someone that was supposed to be my person, and love me and respect me, and... Just... The way he changed so fast and the way it was so... Malicious how it all played out whether it was breaking down my confidence or isolating me or letting his family bully me, I have never felt so... Little. And then at the end of it all to not sign the papers and I had to beg for release from all of that?

I do wonder sometimes if that's as good as it's ever going to get, and I break my own heart by thinking that, y'know, that's all I deserve, but I'd rather be alone than ever experience that again."

[abcwithmsz]

😍 = Does your muse have any crushes? If so, who are they?

"Not anymore. I think at this point it's best I just... I dunno. See what to do next with my career, do a some more intense therapy, do a little more self work, y'know?" She shrugs, putting down the paint brush and stepping back to look at the wall she'd been working on. "But maybe one day it'll be fun to have a crush again."