there’s no point in lying to herself ; to deny the courage she’s been working up since about half an hour into the movie as the two found themselves under the same blanket . her idea , by the way : a quiet night . for des it’s the best way to regain her bearings after a long , adventurous week . she doesn’t speak throughout the entirety of the film , laughing occasionally . the majority of her concentration is placed on xander . his presence , his warmth , the pace of his breathing . ( had he fallen asleep halfway through ? ) but after the screen goes dark , the credits rolling with the names of people she couldn’t care less about , desdemona allows her hour of built bravery to come to fruition . silent , as she tends to be , the young woman leans up , pressing a kiss to the corner of the man’s lips , knowing that he can probably hear the slow , deep thump of her heart in her chest .
ii. if that didn’t then this one does .
it’s the one thing that desdemona had been as equally terrified and excited for : skydiving . as she’d expected of herself , her nerves began to hit as soon as she was standing in the frame of the humbly sized aircraft door . truthfully , it may be that the only reason she’d found the guts to jump was because it wasn’t exactly her choice . and while there’d only been all fear at first , by the time her feet return to hit land desdemona is purely adrenaline and excitement and the insatiable craving to go just one more time . ❛ we’re gonna do that again , right ?! ❜ the question leans closer to an actual plea , both of her hands tightly gripping the gear over xander’s chest . their smiles are mirrored for a mere instant of absolute hush . and it happens too quickly for it to be clear whether she kissed him or the other way around , but they’re locked together tightly . not only by the lips , but with her arms over his shoulders and his hands keeping her steady by the waist , and she takes that as a ‘ yes ’ .
iii. no tunnel of love business .
it seems juvenile in comparison to most of their adventures , yes . but amusement parks are one of desdemona’s guilty pleasures . the amount of sights , sounds , and smells ; nothing is ever the same . the two had partaken in their fair share of daredevil-esque rides , des now feeling the need to wind down . she stays close by xander’s side , steadily making way through her second bag of cotton candy for the night and ever so often pushing a piece towards him . it’s unclear as to who is leading the way , but for ten minutes they’ve wandered aimlessly through the park , allowing her to finally come to the random conclusion that this night , for her , has been enough . leaning her head on the other’s shoulder , des tilts her head up to plant a soft kiss right on his jaw . when the gesture is kindly returned , she can’t help grinning against his lips before a tired , ❛ i’m ready t’ leave if you are . ❜
iv. don’t it always seem to go …
getting to this point is one of no return . a point where desdemona cares and worries and wants the sound of mind that xander is alright it was a stunt she should have turned off as soon as she realized how badly it’s going to wrack her nerves . and it’s uncomfortably risky but , stubbornly , she doesn’t look away . not until the feed stutters , cutting out for a second . it’s barely enough time to take a moment and reflect on the devastating effects that this accident could have . snapping out of speculation , she calls xander . when he doesn’t answer the first time it worries her . and then the third and the fourth … and twenty - six calls later there’s still no answer . fine . she waits a day before calling all of the hospitals that would have been in his area . they can’t give out information ( for good reason , okay okay , she knows ) , especially to a stranger who just thinks she’s important . and it isn’t until day four that there’s a knock at her door . any and every hopeful nerve knows that it’s xander because it just has to be . and opening up to that hope , all stress and worry drops at her feet . ❛ i thought y'were fucking dead . ❜ she wraps about him as tightly as their respectively opposite frames will allow before kissing him warmly on the cheek , smiling as she leans away . ❛ learn to use a payphone . ❜
v.
it’s a late night . the warm type that usually leaves the two hesitant to call it over . a night that takes on the slightest chill once he leaves . and des knows it . she’s selfish about it. most times she has taken to ignoring that strange sadness but not now . she doesn’t want to . and when she asks him to stay it’s barely a conversation . in bed they begin the same as always : facing away from each other , des towards the window and xander closest to the door . and for a few silent moments this stays as is . then an emptiness sets in and emilia shifts to fix it , closing the space between them . in the seconds it takes for her fingers to find rest against his ribcage , the room becomes devoid of sound . of normality . of fear . they’re much closer now , her hand pressed to his chest to keep it that way . much unlike she tends to be , her kisses are soft and slow . each one lingers along his neck , shoulder , back . with every quiet motion her heart takes a more leisurely beat until she’s calm enough to timidly ask him not to fall asleep yet . please don’t fall asleep .
it becomes all too clear , much too late . the gutting sound of a knife being jammed through her abdomen rings in both ears above whatever explanation her assailant is muttering . it’s a gripping pain that the young woman has only ever experienced once before . and while she knows there’s no logical way the blade has hit her spine , this somehow hurts worse . the gentle hold she’d had on his shoulder goes limp , both hands moving to pry his fingers from the handle of the object that is more than halfway inside of her . ❛ k-kai … it’s des . ❜ her voice is wavering and soft as she searches his eyes , hoping to figure out just what about this hallucination has triggered him to act out so harshly . ❛ why did you stab me ? ❜ a frank question , to hopefully solicit a frank answer . blood has started to well up and stream down from the wound . desdemona does her best to stay calm but , if she bleeds out there’s no healing from that . the only thing more scary to her than this moment is the possibility of fucking up and provoking him to stab her a second time .
send 'goodbye' for the last voice message my muse leaves for yours before they die / accepting
she's fucked up . and not the normal kind of fuck up that she can bounce back from or put on ice . this is a monument to the idea that if everything that could possibly go wrong does , it's not going to be okay . the worst is that she shouldn't have come out alone . she should have waited so that jason could have her back . they’re partners . but stubborn as she is , desdemona couldn't let the moment escape her .
having managed to drag herself into the corner of an alley , her consciousness fading fast . this hurts . as blood seeps out onto the concrete there's a sudden panic that she's forgetting something ( how stupid . like she's left the stove on . ) all des knows is that she needs her phone and begins searching all of her pockets frantically , hoping to whatever god that it's not damaged because she needs it .
❛ jason . jason , jason , jason . ❜ scrolling through her recent calls the thought of what she's doing begins to be harder to hold onto . she just repeats his name under her breath until she finds a contact , although blurry , that must be his . dialing , she waits , begging him both to pick up and not pick up . on one hand she doesn't want him to know how much of an idiot she's been . on the other , she at least owes him an explanation . . . or something . . . and he doesn't pick up . time is of the essence , so desdemona settles for voicemail . ❛ jason . it's me . . . um . . . i fucked up . i went after them i . . . i fuck ! i'm so stupid . i'm so sorry . . . ❜ her eyes fall shut , welling with tears that feel wasted , if anything . god , everything she's done to lead up to this feels childish . the realization that all she's been doing is running . and now she can't anymore . ❛ i'm . . . ❜ pausing , she decides maybe it's best not to let him know where she is . only the important things . . . not a lot of time left . ❛ stop bein' an idiot . you have a family . . . i only had you . but you got them now . . . ❜ it's a struggle to breathe now and words aren’t coming out right . she chokes . gotta wrap it up . ❛ i love you . i did from day fuckin’ one . i love you . . . i'm so sorry . i’m so sorry . . . . g'bye . ❜
not every sun is as soft as this one . as the morning breaks past the old hills of his quiet county , one doctor , one faith-having man is prostrate in the pews ; the holy book fallen open of his heart as gentle light from stained glass windows pours over him . the warmth is enough to wake him , a usually pale face is dusted pink in his sudden awareness that awakened to face god himself . proverbs seep from the pages , each verse being whispered in the man’s ear with such an enticing drip to each cutting consonant that one could easily mistake it for romance or erotica ( at the very least. )
pushed into sitting , the scriptures do not stop . disembodied voices draw their words down slouched shoulders , fingers curling and comforting . they pull him towards the sun to burn in it silently until noon . this sinner knows no peace yet other than to be reminded by fathers long passed of what a fuck up he’s become.
send that thing for me 2 write ur url. i did them all at once because i’m lazy. dab. @punchit ♥️ @starlightsulu ♥️ @babyzvezda ♥️ @diedsaving ♥️ @occultiist ♥️
he's confused . not at all upset by the question but also nowhere near understanding the situation that's suddenly presented itself . she's a beautiful woman , which he's no stranger to , but it's the formality with which the words are spoken . it’s unusual , but with that aside he can find no reason to refuse . shrugging , the doctor cocks an eyebrow , ❝ it'd be rude'a me to say no , wouldn't it ? ❞ but then , a brief pause and the expression of skepticism he wears is emphasized . ❝ did jim send you ? ❞
