May 8, 2024
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Question to Snow Man: MemeAbe
Snow Man’s Snow Life #132 - Wishes for Tanabata
Love Trigger (Light - HeartThrob version)
This is a fanfiction, meaning that all events and occurrences in this story are all fictional and all are part of my imagination. Any resemblance to actual life events and people, living or dead, are all purely coincidence. I am not, in any way, affiliated to Snow Man members or Johnny’s Entertainment so I do not own the Snow Man members mentioned in my fanfiction.
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“AHHHH!”
Raul is startled by his tutor’s frustrated whine. “What’s the matter, Abe-sensei?”
Abe is pacing around the room while texting someone on his phone.
“The other cameraman at work suddenly got sick today so I was asked to cover for him. The project this time is in Okinawa and I have to fly there tonight! Gosh! This is so last minute! I don’t like this…Aghhhh!”
Raul chuckles. “Your work seems fun. You got free flight all over the country, got to explore lots of places, sometimes got free foods…It’s like holiday!”
Abe let out a tiny laugh before sitting down next to Raul. His panic slowly subsides. “Well, you only see the fun parts. Try to be in my shoes. You’ll experience how tiring travelling is on this job. Plus, my main job is as an editor. So I also have editing works to do afterwards. I’m sorry, Raul-kun. I guess you have to go back early today. I have to go to the airport in a few hours. Heck, I have to pack really quick! Huhuhu… I’ll text you again next week for tutoring times, yeah? Gomenne!”. Abe makes an apologetic hand pose.
Raul laughs lightly. “It’s alright, sensei. Thanks for explaining the Stormer’s Theorem today! I can now grasp the concept. I’ll see you next week!”
Raul packs his stuffs. Before he leaves, he told Abe, “Ahh! Don’t forget to get me some souvenirs too, OK?”
Abe pinches Raul’s cheeks. “You cheeky boy! Ok, I’ll get you something from Okinawa”.
“Hehe Yay! See ya, Abe-sensei!”
You are my love trigger
A dangerous flavor, but I want ya
Yeah
Abe managed to arrive at Haneda Airport on time. He met up with all his crewmates before they board the plane. Since the ticket was booked very last minute and the sick co-worker’s ticket is non-transferrable, he doesn’t get to sit with his crewmates. When he arrived at his seat, there was already a man sitting at the window seat next to him. This man is very fashionable; wearing all black – black leather jacket, black leather pants, black inner shirt and black loafers. Abe can also see a Fendi silver necklace and another Fendi bracelet on the man’s right wrist. The hair is slicked back, looking so smooth and shiny. Abe is in awe. He never saw someone this fashionable up close. Not even the influencers that he had worked with before.
Ohh a little background! Abe Ryohei, a 30-years old with a flaming passion for knowledge, is currently doing a part time PHD while working as an editor for a living. An influencer-driven media company which aims to promote Japan to a global audience took him in 5 years ago. The company acknowledged Abe’s ability to fluently speak in English to be advantageous for the company’s vision and mission. Thus, they offered him the job as soon as the interview was done. Since Abe is good in IT, he was given the editor position but in reality, the employees’ roles in this company are quite flexible. There are also cases where some of their staffs suddenly turned into online celebrities overnight. For example, there was this one time where an influencer had to pull out from a project very last minute and the company was not able to find another influencer as replacement. All appointments have already been finalized and the filming was scheduled to be done the next day. Albeit frustrated, some of the most talkative staffs decided to appear on screen and do the interviews, keeping professionalism. And Walla! When the video was released, it received very good feedback and unexpectedly got more views, which boost the popularity of the company in media platforms.
There are few other editors as well in the company and sometimes, if Abe is tired from doing editing all week long, he will ask his manager to give him administrative work instead, like researching for new Halal foods establishments then making appointments with the owners and stuffs like that. Like right now, he is replacing a sick cameraman so when he arrives at Okinawa later, he is expected to perform cameraman duties.
Talking about personal life, Abe had a breakup just 3 months ago, from an ex whom he dated for about 2 years. The man visibly had an inferiority complex, which resulted in him always throwing insults towards Abe to make himself feel better. The man was constantly anxious, knowing the fact that Abe is an educated man with a good job and is earning more, unlike him. He is also controlling, not allowing Abe to hang out with his friends in peace. Abe has realized the red flags 6 months into the relationship and he did try to breakup with the man sooner. However, the man will find ways to manipulate him to stay in the relationship. Abe had break down in front of the man 3 times! Abe yelled that he can’t tolerate his partner’s behavior anymore; he screamed at his partner for being mentally abusive and it’s affecting his productivity at work and study; and finally, he dejectedly asked for a breakup. However! Whenever Abe brought up the topic of breaking up, the next day, the man injure himself one time, another time he said that his grandmother passed away so Abe, being a sympathetic being, cannot leave him alone! The man will be nice to him for a week before the abusing cycle starts again. The third time, Abe had enough. He was no longer happy in a relationship that is supposed to be loving and warm. That day, the man saw Abe and his workmate talk and giggles at a train platform. They were invited to a launching event 5 stations away and it didn’t occur to Abe that he will meet his partner at the station at that time. However, Abe thought it was a blessing as this time, he can finally exit this relationship and his ex will have his spotlight moment getting break up in front of the public. So the ex approached them, pointing at Abe’s co-worker, accusing Abe of cheating. Abe screamed out whatever in his mind as loud as he can, attracting attention obviously. He shouts out how abusive the ex is, about how Abe tried to put up with his bullshit for a long time, going into details about each abusive moments he remembered and now, he wants, no, NEEDS a breakup for real. The ex, looking uncomfortable with all the attention on him, fell down to his knees, begging for forgiveness. Abe ignored him and dragged his co-worker, who was visibly startled, quietly standing beside him all this while, into the next train that arrived. Inside the train, Abe promptly blocked all communication with his ex. He has been living so much better ever since.
Hmm? What about Raul? So Raul is…The son of Abe’s mother’s best friend. He is currently in college, majoring in Mathematics. Since Abe also major in Mathematics during his undergraduate study, Raul’s mother reached out to him to tutor her son. Abe is more than happy to help. Not only is he able to share his knowledge, he also receives extra pocket money for his service. Plus, Raul is an easy kid. The kid is so polite, able to absorb information quickly and the type that doesn’t hesitate to debate if he finds a certain theory to be different from what he understood, which is a trait that Abe respects him for. Abe will get to know the way Raul thinks, get to listen to his perspective, sometimes even realizing that he might be on the wrong side of things. They exchange ideas respectfully, without putting down one another. Abe really likes Raul and he believes his student will be an amazing scholar one day.
Anyway, back inside the flight: Abe greets the fashionable man next to him. When he gets to look at the man closely, he thought the man is breathtaking. He never saw someone this handsome and he told himself in his head, this man might be an online celebrity of some sorts. They only exchange a “Hello” out of courtesy and then going back to doing their own things.
The plane departs Tokyo exactly at 8pm. It will take approximately 2hrs 40min to reach Okinawa.
Before I knew it, my thoughts are all about you
Without realizing, this Feeling is overflowing
The popular Love song I heard on the street
It won’t leave my head, I don’t know why
The melody that won’t let me sleep
Abe is enjoying his book while listening to some classical music when suddenly, he feels the plane shakes. Hard. The plane is going through turbulence, the roughest he had ever experienced. He can hear some women screams out of fear and he admits, he is pretty scared himself. Abe goes from laying on his seat to hunching forward, due to anxiousness. His mind goes towards thinking all the negative things. He can’t help it.
Suddenly, a hand comes and grips his right hand. He comes eye to eye with the man next to him. The man has a gentle expression on his face, as if to calm him down.
“Don’t worry. This won’t last long. Everything will be fine. If you don’t believe me, just look at the stewardess. If they don’t show any panic, then we don’t need to get panic. They know better. Trust me.”
Abe’s anxiousness instantly dissipates into thin air. The man also has a gentle voice that’s very pleasing to the ear in addition to his impressive persuasion skill. Abe trusts him. And they keep holding hands until the bumpiness stops a few minutes later.
Once the situation calms down, Abe thanked the man beside him. The man answers with “No problem” before he slides back comfortably into his seat, crossing his arms, then goes back to sleep.
About another 45mins, they safely landed at Naha Airport.
Don’t be shy. As you are, Follow me
I won’t be able to say that Word afterall
Mystery, no matter what I do, I can’t reach your Philosophy
[2 weeks later]
“Welcome!”
Abe enters his favorite local cafe. The barista gives him a knowing smile.
“Good morning, Abe-san! The usual?”
“Good morning, Watanabe-san. Yes, please. And I would like to also order a tuna toast today”.
“Got it! Your total is 780Yen”. Abe hands the exact amount. “Thank you. Please have a seat. I’ll deliver your order soon!”
Watanabe Cafe is fairly new, only opened about 2 years ago. Abe accidentally stumbled upon the cafe after finishing his job near the Nakameguro area. He decided to roam the neighborhood a little more before he went back home. Watanabe Café has a list of “The benefits of coffee for your skin” on the board near the entrance door where usually, there will be a list of menu on it. Abe was intrigued by this weird marketing and decided to enter. He found out that the owner, Watanabe-san is a skincare enthusiast and a coffee lover. Which explains the list of the board outside.
Now, Abe visits this café at least three times a week. He likes the cozy atmosphere of the café and the smell of fresh coffee. It’s just a small café so there is not too much noise. Watanabe-san also plays classical music inside the cafe, which is a plus point for Abe personally. The interior design is a mixture of modern and European classic. The café had checkerboard flooring with some areas even carpeted, two lite casement with circle top windows, different kinds of wooden table paired with wood shell chairs and some uplifting quotes on the wall. There is one section near the back of the café where there is a fake flowers and vines wall décor where lots of customers will take photos for their social media.
Watanabe arrives to Abe’s seat with his orders, Watanabe’s special café latte and tuna toast.
“Enjoy~”
Abe’s favorite seat is near the big window overlooking the garden outside. This café is not located at the commercial street but near to the residential area. Thus, there are not that many businesses around the café and the café have a little more space, even though it’s not really that big, for a garden. Watanabe-san grows different kinds of flowers and vegetables in the garden, which is a calming sight.
He takes a sip of his caffe latte. He hears a familiar voice. He looks up.
Abe tsk. It’s his ex, Juri! Oh my God! This is not a good start of the day.
Abe takes out his phone and pretends to be busy. He doesn’t want his ex to see him or to approach him in any way so he keeps his head down. He prays that Juri won’t see him and just take away his order or something.
Unfortunately, the universe doesn’t answer his prayer.
“Ryohei?”
Abe curses in his head. He looks up, trying to be as emotionless, before he speaks, “Oh, Hello”.
Juri invites himself to sit down at the seat opposite Abe with a cup of the similar caffe latte in his hand. Abe squirms in his seat, expressing his discomfort. “You should not talk to me. I don’t want anything to do with you anymore”.
Juri puts his head down, as if expressing regret; tries to reach out to hold Abe’s hand, but Abe slaps the hand away. Juri sigh in desperation. “Look, I’m sorry. I’m aware that you felt hurt by what I did. And I deeply regret it. For real this time! The fact that you’re still alone here today means that you’re still single, right? Why not we start over? I swear that I’ll be a good and understanding partner this time! I will not fail you. I promise!”
Abe rolls his eyes. “Stop it! This is not the first time I’m hearing this! Guess what? The last time you said this to me, surprise surprise! You hurt me again! And again and again! Just drop this conversation. Let the past stay in the past. We’re done. You should find someone else who matches you better”.
At this moment, only the two of them are inside the café as customers so Watanabe-san, can clearly heard their conversation. Abe manages to see Watanabe-san staring at them for a brief moment, before he goes into the kitchen.
“I can’t, Ryohei! My mind is so full of you. I realized what a fool I am after I lose you. I was unable to reach you by phone or social media messengers. I guess you have blocked me and I deserved it. Please, Ryohei! You have to believe me this time! As long as you’re still single, I won’t give up on you!”
“Oh yeah? What makes you think that I’m still single?”
“What?!”
Abe turns his head to look out the window. His eyes widen.
He sees that handsome man, who sit beside him on the plane last 2 weeks. That man is currently in white shirt and blue slacks. He also wears a bandana on his head, rubber latex gloves on his hands and he is also holding a hoe.
“I’m dating a gardener”, Abe suddenly blurts out.
There was a pause. Before Juri laughs aloud.
“Seriously? A gardener? Come on, that’s a downgrade, Ryohei! For real?”
Abe smirks. “Do you hear yourself? You are disrespectful to the kind people who did all this noble jobs. He might not earn as much but he’s thoughtful and selfless. I’m very much happy in my current relationship so please…just forget me. Just think of me as a parasite or a villain or anything, I don’t care! I don’t want to get involved with you anymore. Please…”
Juri stands up, then exit the café in a rush, without a word.
“Thank you! Please come again!” Abe can hear Watanabe shouts.
Abe let out a sigh of relief.
He looks outside again. The gardener is now can be seen pruning some twigs. Abe thought about how good looking the man is, even with gardener outfit on.
Once Abe finishes his meal, he goes up to Watanabe first before exiting the café.
“Umm…This might be a strange question…But do you happen to know the gardener outside?”
“Ahh~ If you’re asking me if I know him personally, then no. I recently thought I should give the garden a makeover. I plan to extend the café to have outdoor seatings too so the garden has to be pleasing for customers. It might also attract passerby to stop by. Anyway, I acquired a service from Zarigani Landscaping 3 days ago and he is the gardener assigned to beautify my garden. He did an excellent job so far. He introduced himself as Meguro. But that’s all that I know. By the way, I heard everything just now. I hope things will get better for you”.
Abe scratches the back of his head in embarrassment. “Ahh…I’m embarrassed that you have to witness that. But thank you. I’ll come back soon, yeah!”
“See ya, Abe-san!”
Abe catches a glimpse of the gardener’s back. Then he goes his merry way.
Babe, baby, babe
Say my name, Say my name
Babe, baby, babe
Say my name darling
“Abe-sensei”
“Hmm?”
Raul hands Abe an invitation card. “My brother is getting married next week. My mother asked me to give this to you. Your whole family is invited”.
Abe scans through the beautifully printed card. “Ohh? Hokkaido?”
“Yeah. My soon to be sister-in-law is from there”.
“Ahh I see. Thanks! I’ll let my family know and if everyone is available, we will be there”.
“Hehe ok! But even if only some of you are available, please do come, yeah! Your family is already like an extended family of ours. My mom is so excited to introduce your family to our soon to be in-laws”.
“Haha! Your mom is the one who’s most excited, heh? She’s so cute”.
“Of course! She’s suggesting my brother lots of wedding stuffs as if it’s her wedding”.
“Hehe It’s the first marriage in your family after all. Alright! Back to our tutoring session! Have you solved the equation?”
“Yes, sensei! Is this correct?”
Raul presents his answer sheet full of mathematical formula for Abe to check.
[2 days before Raul’s brother’s wedding]
There is no tutoring session for Raul this week and the next as his family had to fly to Hokkaido for the wedding preparation. Seems like the stars are aligned. Because Abe has to fly to Hokkaido today for work. His other family members will arrive at Japan’s northernmost island tomorrow and he will meet them at the hotel that his family has booked. Today, he will fly with his workmates and stay at an accommodation provided by the company they’re working with.
Abe and his team are sitting near the boarding gate area, waiting for it to open. They are chatting about things to do when they arrive at Hokkaido later.
“Yes, yes…No worries…Yes, it’s here with me…”
Hmm? Abe knows that voice. He turns his head towards the direction of the voice.
What a coincidence! It’s the gardener! And his flight seat mate during his previous flight!
As if the man could hear his inner voice, the man turns his head, facing Abe directly.
Both of them widen their eyes in surprise. Abe just nods his head in acknowledgement and the man replies with a sweet smile and raises his right hand in acknowledgement too.
Abe analyzes the man up and down. Today, the man is wearing a denim set. Denim jacket with a white shirt, denim jeans, black sport shoes and a black bucket hat. He has a quilted jacket in his hand as well as a duffel bag. Ahh How fashionable!
Ehh? Why is he coming here? Oh my God! Is he coming towards me?
To the left of Abe, there is one empty seat. His team sits to his right and some, opposite him. The man sits down next to Abe and puts his right hand out, expecting a handshake.
“Hey! We meet again for the same flight!”
Abe accepts the handshake. “Yeah! What a coincidence! What are you doing in Hokkaido?”
“Ohh I’m attending a cousin’s wedding this Sunday. Since I’m a close relative, I’m expected to help them with the preparation so I come early. How about you?” “Ahh I see. I’m here with my colleagues for work”, Abe points at his team. Some of them reacted and give a nod.
Meguro nods. “I see. What’s your seat number? Are we going to be seat mates again today?” He playfully asks.
“Ahh I don’t think so. I’m sitting with my team this time. The last time, my ticket flight was booked at the last minute so I wasn’t able to sit with them”.
The airport staff announces the opening of the boarding gate.
“Ahh~ If we meet each other somewhere in Hokkaido, that’ll be cool. If you do spot me, don’t be shy to come up to me yeah! Nice to meet you, Mr…?”
“Abe. Abe Ryohei”.
“Abe-san, ne? I’m Meguro Ren. Well then, have a good day, Abe-san!”, Meguro stands up.
“You too, Meguro-san!”, Abe waves. Meguro waves back and gets in line to board.
Abe’s colleague who is sitting to his right pulls his arm excitedly. “That guy is so handsome! If you do meet him again, introduce him to me please!”
“Shh! We don’t know if he’s still single or already taken. By the way, didn’t you just have a new boyfriend 2 weeks ago?”
The colleague pouts. “Heh~ it’s not wrong to just be friends, right?”
Be friends. Yeah, Abe would like that too.
And if they had a little more time to chat just now, he would’ve mentioned that he saw Meguro one other time before. In front of Watanabe’s Café.
There’s no turning back anymore
Be my girl – the heart won’t lie
Honey Imma make you mine
Hold you tight right now
Can you give me one more night?
Let’s get it now
[D-day Raul’s brother’s wedding]
The wedding takes place at the bride’s family residence. It is a mansion, verbatim. The bride’s parents are both well-respected doctors and even the bride herself work in a similar medical field. Abe’s family is in awe, of the venue and the guests that arrived. Abe spots many familiar faces. Very respected scholars, government officials, professionals in various fields, celebrities and even some well-known sports player. He feels so small and out of place.
“Julian found a partner from a respected family. So lucky!”
Abe’s mother already blurts out what is on his head.
Abe’s family were greeted warmly and Raul leads them to their seat.
The wedding ceremony is held inside a ballroom. Every guest is seated on a seating plan of round table with 8 seats. Since there is only 4 people in Abe’s family, they sit together with another family of 4, a guest from the bride’s side.
The wedding runs smoothly. Abe is overwhelmed by feels upon experiencing a very emotional event. When both the groom and the bride finished with their wedding vows, and the pastor can be heard saying “I shall now pronounce them husband and wife”, an intense rush of emotion overcame him, his heart throbbing seeing the joy in both the groom and the bride. So much love in the air. He was so much happy for Julian. It was overall, a very beautiful wedding.
It is now the cocktail hour before dinner is served. Light snacks are brought out at this time and guests mostly used this time to mingle around while the groom and bride with their families went for photograph session. Abe’s parents are already socializing and his brother also has gone to meet one of his high school classmates so Abe decides to go to the food stalls to get some snacks. While he was browsing, he heard someone called his name. “Abe-san?”
He turns around. Ahh…No way this is a coincidence again. The universe is surely trying to tell him something by sending this man to him over and over.
“Meguro-san? What a pleasant surprise! Umm…what is your relation with this family?”
“Ohh I am the groom’s cousin. What about you?”
“Ahhhh I see. I am Raul’s tutor”.
Meguro looks like he just realized something. “Ohh! Your mom and my aunt are best friends, correct? Rau told me”.
Abe excitedly responds with a “Yes!”
“Hehe it seems that fate has brought us together for a few times already. Perhaps we are meant to be friends, Abe-san. Do you like the idea of that?”
*Kyun!* Abe’s heart throbs.
“Sure! I thought the same thing too! Let’s get to know each other then!”
They both giggle.
“Ren! Come on, Julian called us for photoshoot!”, shouts a young man who looks almost similar to Meguro.
Meguro sighs. “Ok, I’ll be there soon!” He looks back at Abe. “Ahh That’s my brother by the way. I hope you’ll be staying till the end…?”
“Yeah! Plus, your aunt will not allow us to leave the event early”, Abe jokingly states.
Meguro laughs. “Haha Nice! I will see you later, ok? Enjoy the foods!”
With that, Meguro left.
Leaving Abe with a familiar sensation that he hasn’t been feeling in a while.
You are my love trigger
A dangerous flavor, but I want ya
The moment our eyes met
I’m Going crazy
Going crazy for you, oh God
I’m craving for your love
The wedding couple re-enter the ballroom after about an hour. It is now reception time and after the toasts, dinner is served. After dinner is the ballroom dance. This is the next time Abe and Meguro see each other again. Abe goes up to a young lady in a beautiful blue dress to invite her for a dance as his mother keeps pushing him to find a lady to dance with. At the same time, Meguro invites a lady in a red dress to be his dance partner. Abe and Meguro meet at the dance floor. Even though they are dancing with their respective partners, their eyes are glued to each other. Without each other’s knowing though.
The final event of the night is the bouquet toss. A lady in her late twenties successfully receives the bouquet on her hands. After the Grand Exit, the guests start to leave the venue one by one.
Meguro is standing near the ballroom exit. He greets Abe’s family when they are about to leave.
“Thanks for coming!” But Abe notices that Meguro is giving him a stare a little too long.
“Ahh Mom, Dad! This is Meguro-san, Raul’s cousin”.
“Ohh? You’re such a fine young man! It must be tiring handling a long day event like this. Everything is magnificent! We very much enjoy the food too”, Abe’s mother commented.
“I’m glad to hear that, ma’am”, Meguro bows in gratitude. “Umm…may I talk to your son for a moment?”
“Ahh! You guys can go ahead. I will be back later, ok?”, Abe interrupts.
Abe’s mother looks back and forth between his son and Meguro. “Sure. You guys have fun, yeah!”
“Thanks! Be careful!”
As soon as the backs of Abe’s family disappear from sight, he turns his head to Meguro. They both smile.
“Let’s go to the verandah. We can talk while enjoying the crisp night air”, Meguro suggests and lead them there.
They talk a lot. Aside from letting each other know basic things about themselves, Abe also talks about his work, briefly about his PHD thesis, and some of his funny, clumsy episodes which Meguro finds it hard to believe. Meanwhile from this conversation, Abe manages to observe Meguro’s infatuation towards Astronomy. Meguro points up to the night sky then explain to him the solar objects and constellations in very great detail, which Abe finds interesting. He also gets to know that Meguro loves designing and being in nature, which is why he works for a landscaping company. Abe finally told Meguro about seeing him at Watanabe Café. Meguro pouts. “You should’ve greeted me”.
Abe snickers. “Nahh~ I don’t want to disturb you”.
They didn’t realize they have talked for hours until they heard the grandfather’s clock inside the mansion chimes. Which indicates, it’s already midnight. They go inside and sure enough, the hallway is now quiet even though it is still lit up.
“Where do you stay? Let me send you back”, Meguro offers.
“L’agent Stay. One of the hotels near Odori Park. Umm…If it’s ok with you, then I shall take the offer”, Abe politely answers.
“Hehe it’s fine. We can have extra time to chat in the car”.
On the way to exit the mansion, both of them comes across a tired looking Raul. Or…upon closer inspection…A drunk, tired Raul. Abe is worried as Raul is swaying in his steps. Abe stops in front of him and holds his shoulders. “Raul-kun, are you alright? I’m afraid that you might faint anytime soon”.
Raul sluggishly hung both his arms on Abe’s shoulders. “Sensei? *hiccup* Where are you going? *hiccup* I have a confession to make… *hiccup* Will you listen to me? *hiccup* Please…?”
Raul then traps Abe in a tight hug, startling both him and Meguro.
“Oi Rau! Let go! He’s your sensei!”, Meguro tries hard to pull Raul’s arms away to no avail. Raul is holding Abe so strongly.
“Actually I…like older women…”
Abe and Meguro stop their actions. “Umm…ok?”
“*hiccup* I used to find this math teacher who taught me in high school, so so hot! *hiccup* so 2 years ago, when I just turned 18, I went to tinder and set the age as high as possible in hopes that I could match with not necessarily her, because I know she’s married. But perhaps someone who might look like her. Someone mature yet hot. *hiccup*”
Abe and Meguro give each other looks. They don’t know where this is going. Abe is still struggling to be free from Raul’s uncomfortable hug. Raul continues his confession.
“I matched with a woman. She stated that she’s 40 in her bio but upon meeting her, I knew that she’s much older. *hiccup* We met, for dinner. At this high-class restaurant. She paid for us both. We look like sugar mommy and her sugar baby. *hiccup* And then she asked me why I want to be involved with a much older woman. I told her my story. About the teacher. *hiccup* I don’t remember the details which leads to what happened next. *hiccup* Maybe it’s the atmosphere. Ahh~ she told me that she could satisfy me more than my teacher do. *hiccup* It was my first time. We did it at the restaurant’s bathroom. Ahh~ And I felt like I’m in nirvana…”
Both Abe and Meguro widen their eyes. They thought, they are not supposed to hear this. But Raul is not done yet. And hugs Abe tighter.
“I freaked out after that. I think I did something really really awful. So I cut contact with her. That was the last time I saw her…until recently… *hiccup* We met at a convenience store and she approaches me, since she remembers me. I was trying to act like I don’t know her. But my mask fell, I cannot act. *hiccup* Anyway, she told me that she just got married. I congratulate her. Then she asked me a favor… *hiccup*”
Ok not lying, Abe and Meguro are now absorbed in the story and they are curious to know more.
“She asked me…if I want to help her and her partner…to fulfill their desire of having a threesome”.
A little pause.
“I was at a crossroad. An offer like that doesn’t come easily. One side of me want to experience the thrill but another side of me is saying that this is unethical, this is wrong. *hiccup* So…it has been 2 years. I’m now a 20-years old adult. I’m more mature now. So I decided…”
“You decided…?”, Abe and Meguro gulp and ask at the same time.
Raul titters. “So I decided…why not? Hahaha! *hiccup* I drove to their place right after and we done it. Ahh~ It was the best bang I ever had~~~” Raul animatedly brushes his jaw on Abe’s neck.
Meguro facepalm. “Oh my lord…”
Abe is speechless. Raul is a young man with a raging hormone so he shouldn’t be so surprised. But this story, this confession…It’s too much.
Meguro now smacks Raul’s arms repeatedly until he let go of his poor tutor, who is frozen in shock. “Come on now! You’ve traumatized your tutor! Shoo! Go back to your room!”
“Bye sensei~ *hiccup*” Raul slurs his sentence. And both Abe and Meguro see him walking away like a zombie.
In conclusion, Raul is a sloppy drunk. Yeah.
I want your love, I want your love, I want your love
Oh baby
I need your love, I need your love, I need your love
Oh baby
“That baby dino is already talkative on normal days and he gets more chaotic when he’s drunk”. Meguro opens the passenger seat’s door of his car to let Abe in. “Douzo”.
“Thanks”. Abe finally finds his voice back, but his cheeks are still burning. “To be honest, that’s the most private thing I ever heard from anyone ever! Oh my God! I wonder if he’ll remember. I hope it’s not going to be awkward the next time we meet for tutoring session…” Abe covers his face with his both hands.
Meguro laughs, “At least you got some juicy info you can use to blackmail him in case he doesn’t listen to you”.
“Haha! Raul is a good kid. At least around me. Tonight was the first time I saw him out of his usual character”.
Meguro starts the engine. “Oh yeah? Thanks for telling me that. I’ll have something to make fun of him next time. Haha! That kid is always frivolous around me!” He then sets the GPS location then starts driving.
Meguro turns on the radio and keeps searching for a channel with good music. However, he’s not feeling the songs that are playing on air at the moment.
“Nee, Abe-kun. What’s your favorite song?”
Abe thinks for a moment. “Hmm…Recently, I listen to Watagashi (Cotton Candy) by back number a lot”.
“Ahh! Back number-san! I like their songs too! But my favorite is Kaitou (Phantom thief). Koko kara kimi o ubatte~ (From now on, I shall take you) Yozora o nukete~ (Through the night sky) Houseki mitaina machi o tobikoete~(We’ll jump over this city that resembles a jewel). Meguro immediately sang the chorus.
Abe’s eyes lit up. He looks at Meguro in awe and claps his hands. “You sing really well!”
“Hehe hold on, let me turn on the Youtube Music. We shall sing our hearts out”.
Abe and Meguro spend their time bonding over music throughout the ride.
After about 20 minutes, they arrived at Odori street. Abe asked Meguro to just drop him at the side of the main road, but Meguro insisted on stopping directly in front of the hotel. It’s already past midnight after all – no traffic so he can easily enter and exit the narrow streets.
“You’re such a fun person, Meguro-kun. I’m very happy to get to know you”.
“Hehe same goes to you, Abe-kun. I learned a lot from you tonight. Maybe we could hang out again sometime? Oh yeah, can you give me your LINE? If you’re ok with it…”
Abe nods vigorously. “Yes, yes! No problem!”
They share their respective LINE accounts.
“Thank you for the ride. Text me when you arrive back to the mansion. Have a good rest, Meguro-kun”.
Meguro doesn’t answer. He simply stares and keep staring lovingly at the man who is still in the passenger seat.
Abe feels his face heats up. He let out an awkward smile. “Uhh…Bye!”
Since Meguro didn’t open the door lock, he manually unlocks the door. However, the moment he tries to open the door, Meguro locks it again.
Abe faces Meguro. The man has an amused, playful look on his face.
Abe unlocks again. Meguro locks again.
“Meguro-kun! What if the lock gets broken?”, Abe scolded.
“Then I’m ready to risk it all”, Meguro replies, suddenly in a deep voice. Still staring at Abe.
Abe gets nervous, his voice quivers. “Risk? What?”
“Is your love…a prison break?”
*Kyun! Kyun!* Abe is confused. He can’t decipher the meaning behind Meguro’s words but hearing “Love”, makes his heart pounding fast.
Meguro chuckles. “Haha! I’m sorry! I was trying to be all poetic but I guess that wasn’t good enough. Uhh…Forget what I just said. Man…That was so uncool of me…But you’re so cute, Abe-kun! You should see how you look right now. Hahaha!”
Abe blushes. Meguro called him cute?! Kyun kyun! “You! Don’t tease me! I’m older than you!” Abe covers his face in embarrassment. “Come on, unlock the door!”
“Hahaha! OK OK!”
As soon as Abe heard the door unlocked, he quickly swings open the door.
Meguro pulls down the window to bid farewell and good night, which Abe do the same.
“I’ll text you. Sweet dreams, Abe-kun!” Meguro waves, with a big, sweet smile.
*Kyun!* Abe waves back. In his mind, he’s picturing, imaginary roses, framing his current vision.
Then the car drove off.
At this moment, it’s as if he can hear the second verse of his favorite song, Watagashi, playing as background music.
“When you smile, just like that, I finally found a place in my heart…
…where it’s noisy, aching and frustrating…”
You are my love trigger
I want to wallow in the feelings, just like this
Forever and ever
[The next Wednesday]
“Abe-chan! Are you ok to go on this assignment?”, Abe’s project manager asked, handing him a pamphlet.
“Hmm? What’s this?” Abe scans through it.
“A new cinema is about to open in the city and what’s special about it…is the fact that the cinema is exclusively for couples only. Which means, you have to enter in pair. If you’re coming in a group, they should be even-numbered. We are invited to be one of the first to check out what they have to offer. I am expecting at least a written review for the blog if not video review”, his manager explains.
The pamphlet shows the interior of the cinema. There are no regular cinema seats. All seats are in the form of round daybeds, in different colors, with canopy, which perfectly fit two people. This ensures maximum privacy, for when any couple decided to get intimate and they will not have to worry about other people judging their life’s decision to engage in something naughty in a public space. Hmm…Abe finds it interesting.
“Wow! I’m intrigued. Sure, I’ll go. Who’s going with me?”
His manager tilts her head with a grin. “Whoever you want!”
Abe is visibly confused.
“OK, listen! We just received this invitation today, and the screening is tomorrow night! See!”, his manager shows him the colorful heart-shaped invitation card with a bigger than usual theater admission ticket.
“Since this is a last-minute invitation, all of your colleagues are unfortunately already booked for other assignments. So take this ticket and have fun with your friend. Think of it like killing two birds with one stone. Enjoy the experience and just write a review when you get back to work the next day. If you come back with some video record, that will be much appreciated but you don’t have to force yourself. Here, one ticket for two persons”.
“Umm…Thank you, Ms. I shall take the offer”.
…was what he said but…seems that it’s hard to find someone who will be able to accompany him with this late invitation. He texted his childhood friends, his university friends, even his brother, everyone is booked and busy tomorrow night. He even texted Raul, but the kid is still in Hokkaido.
Speaking of Raul…There’s also his cousin…
[Flashback to the night after Meguro dropped Abe off at the hotel]
All his family members were already asleep when he got back. He went to shower immediately soon after. When he checked his phone after he finished his bath, there was a text message from Meguro’s LINE.
“I arrived home safely. Thank you for tonight. See you next time. Good night! *sleep emoji*”
Abe felt bubbly-tingy inside. He can’t control his smile. And he replied with:
“That’s good to hear. Thank you too. See you next time. Have a good rest! *moon emoji*”.
[Back to current time]
Abe hasn’t received any more text after that and he hasn’t texted Meguro either. He figured that perhaps Meguro was busy helping with cleaning up after the ceremony like Raul do. Abe is wondering if the man is still in Hokkaido or already back in Tokyo? Hmm…Should I text him? *KYUN* No…Should I invite him in the first place? Ahhh! My heart is racing! What’s happening?!
Even when I’m awake, I’m yearning still
For your gestures and your habitual phrases
Oh can you be my lover?
Abe decides to go for a hi-tea at Watanabe Café.
“Welcome, Abe-san! The usual?”, Watanabe-san greets him warmly, as usual.
“Umm…Today I’m feeling tea”.
“Ohh~~~? That’s unusual. What would you like to have?”, Watanabe-san grins.
“Umm…One Calendula tea please. With one carrot cake to go with it”.
Watanabe gasps with his eyebrows arching upwards. An expression of surprise. But it only lasts for like a second. Then he goes back to professionally do his job, “Noted. That’ll be 935Yen”.
Abe hands him the amount and goes to sit at his usual place near the window.
Once seated, Abe notices that the garden looks very much different than the last time he visited. Although the landscape is not done yet, the garden can clearly be seen more systematic and very much neatly in order compared to before.
“What do you think? Still a work in progress, but I can already imagine how beautiful the scenery outside gonna be when it’s complete. Especially at night. I’m aiming for a romantic atmosphere”, Watanabe comments, bringing Abe’s orders onto the table.
“It’s gorgeous. Truly”, Abe says, his honest thoughts.
“Enjoy your meal”, Watanabe bows. Abe stops him before he left.
“Ahh! Watanabe-san! Umm…are you available tomorrow night?”
Actually, Abe doesn’t really understand why he even asked. He’s aware that Watanabe has a business to run and he kind of already expecting the man’s answer…so why did he asked? Seems like his body reacts first before his mind does.
“Tomorrow night? Why?”
“Ahh! My workplace received an invitation to try out this new couple-only cinema in town and my manager is kind enough to let me enjoy it privately. Unfortunately, I’m unable to find a partner yet. Everyone I asked is already booked and busy tomorrow night…So…Umm…yeah…”
“Ahh! That new cinema! Wow! That’s cool! See, I have no problem to close the café early but there’s already a booking for a private event here tomorrow night. I’m sorry to let you down…”
Abe shakes his head. “No, it’s ok! It can’t be helped. Don’t worry about it!”
“Watanabe-san! I’m going now”.
Both men turn their heads to the man who just entered the café.
“Hah! Nice timing! Meguro-san, come here for a bit!”, Watanabe gestures the man to come to Abe’s table.
Every time Meguro appears, Abe will always get stunned over how good the man looks. Right now, Meguro is wearing a blue-white striped, button-down shirt, with the sleeves rolled up a quarter. He’s also wearing plain dark blue slacks – overall, a simple casual look. Abe doesn’t know how the man able to elevate a simple look to be so fashionable in his eyes.
“Abe-kun! We finally meet again! How are you?”, Meguro enthusiastically greets him. His eyes practically glowing.
Abe is getting shy all of a sudden. “I’m good. How about you?”
Watanabe interrupts while snickering. “This guy had told me that you both met at his cousin’s wedding in Hokkaido last week. Fufufu…”
“Ahh! You ordered the carrot cake! And Calendula tea too! I ordered this combo too yesterday!”, Meguro happily informs.
Abe now understands why Watanabe was surprised with his orders just now.
Watanabe clears his throat. “Umm, so…why not you ask him?”, Watanabe points at Meguro.
Meguro looks at Abe and Watanabe questioningly. “Hmm?”
“This guy right here needs a company for an event tomorrow night. He invited me but I have to run the café, right? If Meguro-san has no prior engagements tomorrow night, maybe you can join him”, Watanabe explains. Abe is tongue-tied at the moment.
“Umm…Yeah…Just as he said…”
“I’m fine with that. I can accompany you. Come, let me know the details”, Meguro sits down on the opposite Abe.
“You guys continue with the discussion. I’m going back to the kitchen yeah”.
“Ok, thanks for letting me use the shower, Watanabe-san”.
“No problem”. Watanabe excused himself.
Meguro stares at Abe’s face lovingly, like that night. Abe is nervous once again.
“I miss you, Abe-kun”, Meguro says, in a soft voice.
“Umm…I miss you too”, Abe awkwardly replies.
“Really? I’m happy to hear that. Hehe so, where are we going tomorrow night?”
Abe then provides detail information about the appointment tomorrow. Meguro nods his head at every key point he listened.
“So our date tomorrow will be at Miyashita Park, 8pm, correct? How about dress code?”
Abe tries not to react to that “date” word but his heart is definitely pounding right now. *Kyun!*
“Correct. The invitation here stated to wear anything comfortable but no pyjamas”. Both of them find it amusing, they laugh a little.
“Alright. Since this will be our first date, I think I will dress up a little. Hehe you just wear anything you’re comfortable with yeah. I bet anything looks good you”.
*Kyun! Kyun!* What? Why did he say that? I should be the one to say that to him! Even if he wear just plain T-shirt and shorts, he will still look like a model.
Meguro looks at his watch. “I gotta go now, Abe-kun. I will text you tomorrow, ok? Thanks again for inviting me”. He stands up.
Abe stands up too. “I should be the one to say thank you! If it’s not because of you, I will be denied entry tomorrow”.
“Hehe. I’m more than happy to help. See you tomorrow!”
They shake hands.
“Bye, Watanabe-san!”
“Bye!”
The moment the door closes, Abe and Watanabe look at each other. Abe mouths a “Thank you”. Watanabe’s eyes squint slightly, but he just smiles and didn’t say anything. Abe is both excited and nervous for tomorrow.
I guess you already know about my feelings
Feelin’ so bad, you can’t get away
Yeah
Abe arrives at the venue first. He is wearing a brown silk button-down top with black trousers and a beige trench coat to keep him warm. He is standing at the corner of the building’s lobby, waiting for Meguro. 10 minutes later, Abe spots Meguro entering. The view takes his breath away. Meguro is wearing a long, black topcoat, a black Fendi turtleneck shirt with grey checkered pants. Abe makes a mental note: Meguro looks hot in turtleneck and he needs to wear them more. Meguro is walking towards him in a regal manner, as if he’s on the runway of fashion show.
Meguro smiles and waves at Abe all the way until he’s standing in front of him.
“Wow! You’re looking like a celebrity, Meguro-kun!”
“Nahh~ You’re flattering me. I can’t win against you though. You’re looking so dashing tonight. I like it”.
*Kyun!* Abe blushes. “Ok that’s enough. Let’s go!”
They go up to the highest floor, where the new cinema is located. Still half an hour to go before the movie begins but the guests are advised to attend early so the staffs can explain the to do and not to do in the theaters, as well as guests can roam around the venue to take photos or videos for their socials.
There are 4 theatres inside the cinema. All theatres are equipped with IMAX screen. As with the nature of the seats, surely their amount is limited compared to regular cinema. The floors are fewer too. But everything is designed to ensure maximum comfort for the target audience – which is couples. Even from the entrance, the cinema is covered in red and black, with paintings and murals of roses and European architecture. The romantic atmosphere is further heightened with their custom alluring and captivating scent of tuberose all over the cinema.
The organizer informs everyone the movie they are going to watch tonight is a classic movie called “The Brave of Heart Will Take The Bride”. Abe remembers that he has watched the movie when he was still in elementary school. He does remember his mother sometimes giggling, sometimes crying, over watching some of the scenes in the movie. He remembers his mother told him the scenes were romantic, they made her heart feel warm. But what does an elementary school boy know about romance? Tonight, he might be able to understand, what his mother was feeling. The story is about two non-resident college students who fall in love during a vacation in Europe. However, the heroine is already betrothed to another man, the son of a family’s friend. Come hell or high water, the hero is determined to do anything to win the heart of the girl’s family, especially the girl’s father. And to prove that love wins all.
When all the guests have arrived, they are guided to their seats, ready for the movie.
Oh baby, tell me what you’re gonna do
If I’m going to see you,
This fuzzy feeling will be going on full speed in the end
I’m not crazy, Make a move
It’s heaven,
For me who becomes aware of the feelings
“Oh my God! It’s so fluffy. This is literally a bed. Ahh~ so comfy~”
Meguro lays his full body down. Abe laughs. He also sits down and starts inspecting the seat.
All guests were given free popcorn of their choice. Meguro chose the seaweed flavored while Abe chose the cheese flavored. Seems like both of them prefer savory over sweet. Anyway, Abe notices that there are two popcorn holders at each side of every seat. He snaps a photo.
“Abe-kun”, Meguro calls.
“Hmm?” When Abe turns around, he sees Meguro is posing with a peace sign. Abe chuckles and snaps a shot. Then Meguro pats the space beside him.
“Let’s take a photo together”.
*Kyun! Kyun!* Their first photo together is laying on this daybed, inside the couples-only cinema! How scandalous!
Nevertheless, Abe obeys. He lays down next to Meguro and snaps 3 pictures.
Soon, the cinema turns dark and the movie starts.
“That was enjoyable! I like the scene at the train station, where the hero said if the girl loves him, she’ll turn around. And she did turn around! That made me thrilled~”
Meguro never watched the movie before and he have a lot of comments. Meguro seems to have a good time and Abe is glad to see that. The movie is more heartwarming than what he expects from a definition of romantic. There were no overly intimate scenes, which is good because he doesn’t want to watch people making out on screen with Meguro beside him. That will be very awkward. Since the movie is a classic, Abe also kind of reminisce his childhood and how living was before without gadgets. He is grateful to be born in the 90s as people his age witnessed the fast evolution of technology throughout the years. However, Abe wasn’t there to review the movie but the whole cinema experience. And it is safe to say that he will definitely give positive feedback.
There were moments throughout the movie though, that Abe got distracted. Distracted by the attractive man beside him. Meguro’s hand accidentally touched his and for the first time, the man apologized. The second, the third, the fourth, Abe thought the touches were definitely on purpose. Meguro was nonchalant however, his eyes glued to the screen. The fifth time, before Abe moves his hand away on reflex, Meguro grabs it. Abe let out a gasp and quickly close his mouth his other hand. Then Meguro faced him. “Don’t freak out. This is part of the experience. Of course you will want to do lovey-dovey stuffs at a place like this, right? I won’t cross the boundaries, I promise. Just holding hands. Ok?”, Meguro whispered. They were so close. Abe’s breath hitched. He can’t think straight at that moment. He simply nodded and soon, Meguro intertwined their fingers in that gentle hold. They stayed holding hands till the movie ended.
*Kyun! Kyun!*
“Thank you so much for letting me share this experience, Abe-kun! So this is how it feels to be the one who has earlier access on something this big. I feel special, honestly. Haha!”
“Hehe I’m glad. Thank you as well for accompanying me tonight. I’ll let you know when I already finish and publish the review on the company’s blog. I’ll send you the link”.
“Sure! Hmm…I would really love for us to get dinner together but I have to go now”. Meguro stretches his lips horizontally, looking sad all of a sudden.
“Ahh! It’s ok! It’s already pretty late too so I understand. We still got to work tomorrow so let’s head home and rest yeah”, Abe assures.
“Where do you live, Abe-kun?”
“Koenji. How about Meguro-kun?”
“Ohh My apartment is a walking distance from here. At Omotesando”.
“That’s very near!”
“Haha! I’ll invite you next time. Don’t worry, I live alone”, Meguro winks.
Abe doesn’t understand why he should be worry that Meguro lives alone but he certainly should be worry at the condition of his heart right now. Why this man keeps on doing this to him?
“At least let me walk you to the station, Abe-kun”.
They part ways exactly before the ticket gate.
“Send me the photos later”, Meguro reminded.
“Sure! I had fun tonight. Until we meet again, Meguro-kun. Good night!”
Abe taps his phone on the ticket gate and goes inside. Meguro remains in his spot, watching Abe walk away until when Abe is about to disappear from his sight, Abe suddenly turns around. Even from afar, both of them can see they are both surprised. Abe waves his hand first and Meguro waves back. After a few seconds, Abe goes deeper into the station, out from Meguro’s sight completely.
Meguro is ecstatic. He’s jumping in joy! The people around are giving him weird looks.
Before Abe turned around, Meguro had prayed in his heart, “If he likes me, please turn around”.
He now knows the answer to his prayer. He likes Abe too. He really likes him.
From their very first encounter on the plane, he can already feel some kind of connection with the man. From now on, he will put in more effort to slowly develop their relationship.
Meguro called this: Operation Making Abe’s Heart Throb And Eventually Fall In Love With Me!
Babe, baby, babe
Say my name, Say my name
Babe, baby, babe
Say my name darling
“Abe-sensei, I didn’t know that you and my cousin are friends”.
“Ahh Meguro-kun? Hehe I met him on a plane. He sat next to me that night and that’s how we met”.
“Ehh~ I see. He kept on asking me about you these days so I wonder what’s up?”
“Ehh~ Really? He should’ve just asked me directly. He got my number”.
Raul widens his eyes, with the expression of “Oh! He finally got it!”
Raul lets out a scornful laugh. “Heee~ Abe-sensei, you’re single, right?”
Abe is taken aback by Raul’s sudden question. “Uhh…Uhh…Why do you ask?”
“You know~ Meme was asking me things like how was your sensei today, did your sensei like this, did your sensei like that. I think he likes you, sensei”, Raul excitedly says what’s on his mind. “What about you, sensei? Do you like my cousin?”
Abe blushes. “Wha-What are you talking about? Uhh…I don’t think you should make an assumption like that…”
“Meme is single, just to let you know”, Raul interrupts. “His previous relationship was…6-7 years ago? It was a long time ago and they broke up pretty badly too. Hmm…Anyway, we have numerous mutual acquaintances, but he never asked me about any of them. I’m pretty sure that he is interested in you. Nee, nee, sensei! If you say you like him too, I’ll be very happy!”
Raul is giving Abe puppy eyes. Abe doesn’t know how to react to this.
“Like I said…it’s just your assumption. He never told you directly that he likes me, correct? So don’t come to a conclusion like that. Yes, I do like Meguro-kun. But as a friend, that’s it. Ok?”
“Heh~ but I trust my instinct~ Hmm it’s ok! If you guys somehow fall for each other, I’ll be rooting for you guys, ok?” Raul bobs his head, expressing joy.
“Ok, focus! Focus! Back to your paper, please!”
Abe receives a text message. Raul peeks at the pop-up screen. The sender is named Meguro-kun. Raul smirks. “Aha! Speak of the devil!”
“Shh! Finish your equation!”
Ever since that night, both Abe and Meguro are actively texting each other. However, they had not meet each other yet since then. Abe hasn’t visited his favorite café for a while too due to busy schedule. Meguro text reads {Abe-kun, are you free on the weekend?}
Abe replies with {Yes, I am 😊 Do you want to meet?}
{Yay! Since the cherry blossoms are blooming right now, I thought maybe we could do Hanami?}
{Sounds great! I would love to! Where do you recommend?}
{I was thinking we could go on a Meguro River cruise at night. I’m not sure where is the best place to go during the day though. You have any idea?}
{Hmm…I can only think of Shinjuku Gyoen. There are Japanese, English and French gardens and variety of cherry trees we can enjoy.}
{Shinjuku Gyoen sounds good to me 😊 so we shall meet there? Is Saturday, 2pm ok for you?}
{Sure. Saturday, 2pm at Shinjuku Gyoen. Confirm!}
{Great! I’ll see you then!}
{See you! Have a nice day!}
{You too. I miss you.}
Abe paused. *Kyun!* Why did he threw that in there so casually?
Abe typed back {I miss you too}
{Can’t wait to see you}
Abe wants to squeal in delight but Raul is here so he has to remain composed.
{Me too. I have to go now. I’m tutoring Raul at the moment. We will text again later yep}
{Ohh ok I understand. Sorry for interrupting your tutoring session. *apologetic emoji* Bye bye for now!}
{No worries. I’m waiting for him to finish his equation hehe Bye bye!}
Abe sighs in relief. From all the workload and overtime at his job since the past month, he really is in need of a break, even if it’s just a short break. Meguro came at the right time, bringing him out for cherry blossom viewing. Abe puts his phone down and turns back to face Raul. Raul is grinning like a cat.
“Wh-What?”
Raul puffs his shoulder. “Nothing~ I finished the equation. Take a look”.
There’s no turning back anymore
Be my girl – this heart won’t lie
Honey Imma make you mine
Hold you tight right now
Can you give me one more night?
Let’s get it now
This time, Abe arrived exactly at 2pm, which is the appointment date and Meguro arrived 10 minutes earlier. No problems there at all but Abe did have a problem before getting there. He took too long to choose his outfit for the day. He was rummaging his wardrobe for a suitable outfit. He wants to look extra presentable for Meguro today since Meguro is always so fashionable, so him, as his date, should at least match up with Meguro’s vibe. That’s what he thought. After an hour of choosing, he decided on a white lightweight sweater in floral patterns, pairing it with white corduroy pants. He also wears a long beige wool blend coat to give him extra warmth especially when it gets chilly during the night. For shoes, he just went for brown sneakers for utmost comfort.
“Thank you for waiting, Meguro-kun!” Abe sees Meguro standing near the entrance gate, looking down at his phone, and Abe runs straight towards the man. It is pretty easy to spot Meguro as he is always dressed to the nines and as always, Abe is wonderstruck today too.
Meguro is wearing a simple black tee inside his army green bomber jacket, paired with black cargo pants and black sneakers with green stripes. He also had a Fendi cashmere scarf around his neck. Abe likes this look too. Meguro simply looks good in everything!
“Abe-kun!”, Meguro’s eyes practically glowing the moment he sees Abe in front of him. “Wow! You look so fluffy cute today!” Meguro starts touching all over Abe’s coat, feeling the material.
“Ohh? So only today that I look cute?”, Abe teases, making puppy eyes and puffs his cheeks.
Meguro brings his face closer towards Abe. “Your existence itself is cute, Abe-kun. It’s just that today, you put extra dose of cuteness. I like this look on you”.
*Kyun!* First compliment of the day! Abe is glad that Meguro approved his choice of clothing. That 1 hour of frustration wasn’t going to waste. But why is he so close?!
“Uhh…Umm…You’re flattering me! Ahh! Let’s go in!”
The first 30 minutes, they just strolling through the gardens, enjoying the cherry blossoms in full bloom. The ground is carpeted in petals, making the place so surreal in pink. Even if it’s still 2pm, there are already a huge number of people camping below the Sakura trees since it’s also a weekend. They expected more and more people will be coming later in the evening.
They finally find a spot at the English Garden. Meguro place a mat on the ground for them to sit down. They both made a prior arrangement via text: that they will be swapping bentos. After they finished setting up all the snacks and drinks, they hand out each other’s bento. Both of them are nervous yet excited to discover what the other had prepared.
“Let’s open together, ok?”, Meguro suggests. Abe nods. “Ready, set – Open!”
Both of them squeal in happiness.
Abe has prepared a shrimp tempura bento. Instead of plain rice, Abe made garlic rice. There are 3 long and huge shrimp tempura on top of it. The sides consist of some broccoli and mini tomatoes, potato salad and a perfectly shaped tamagoyaki.
Meguro on the other hand, prepared unagi bento for his beloved Abe-kun. He placed a strip of half-sized unagi in one compartment, plain rice with sesame seeds on top in the other compartment, potato salad in another, carrots and edamame on one small compartment and finally two slices of apple, orange, dragon fruit and strawberry each. In other words, it’s kind of fancy.
“Wow! You really prepared a lot. Umm…I’m sorry that my bento can’t compared to yours…”
“What are you saying? I’m already happy with the fact that you went all your way to prepare this for me! Ohh and I have to admit, I cheated a little. I bought the unagi from a shop and put it there as it is because I don’t know how to cook unagi. Heee…but I assure you, I prepared the rest! Just for you! Hope you like it!”
Abe chuckles. Meguro is so honest. A green flag.
“Let’s dig in then! Itadakimasu!”
Meguro goes for the tamagoyaki first. He lets out a satisfied groan. “Oh my God! Not only does it look perfect, it also tastes perfect! The strong dashi flavor and the soft and pillowy texture. I love it!” Meguro gives a thumbs up.
“I’m glad!” Abe goes for the potato salad. He also lets out a sound of approval. “You seasoned it nicely. This is good!”
They finish their meal while throwing compliments in between. Good vibes only.
All snacks and drinks were completely finished too 3 hours later. They really enjoy each other’s company and they didn’t realize that time flies so fast. They clean up and get ready for their next destination.
“Before we depart, let me go to the restroom first”, Meguro says.
“Sure. Go ahead. I’ll wait here”. Meguro nods and goes inside. Abe is standing outside the restroom building, waiting. A few moments later, Abe is surprised when his left arm is pulled aggressively. He bumps straight onto a man’s chest and when he looks up, he sees Juri’s face.
“Not you again! Stop bothering me! Let me go! It hurts!” Abe squirms.
“That man you were with, he is one gentleman. Is that your new gardener boyfriend?”
“Wha-No…” Abe does not finish his sentence yet when Juri immediately cuts him off.
“Haha! I knew it! Someone who’s very dignified and looking like a chevalier cannot be your boyfriend. How come someone like him will be interested in you, right?”, Juri states, full of spite.
Abe knows he should not be fazed by Juri’s words, but deep inside, it stings to hear that being thrown into his face. He has the same thoughts too sometimes. Meguro is just too good. When he can obtain anyone who is better and prettier than Abe with just a flick of his fingers, why would Abe even think he has a chance? Juri is playing dirty. Why would he challenge Abe’s self-esteem now?
Abe doesn’t react. He keeps quiet. He just keeps staring at Juri’s face, with a judging poker face and throwing daggers with his eyes. It’s as if Juri can see flames in Abe’s eyes. Abe is angry.
“Ryohei?”. Abe freezes. It’s Meguro’s voice! Meguro is calling his given name! *Kyun! Kyun!*
“Thank you for waiting, Ryohei”. Meguro goes straight to hold Abe’s waist and stares down at him lovingly, before he turns his attention to the other man in front of him.
“Ohh a friend, Ryohei?”
Abe is irrefutably astounded but he composed himself as quickly as possible. But he doesn’t know if he should tell Meguro that’s his ex in front of him. “Uhh…Yeah…A friend…”
Meguro goes forward with a handshake. “Nice to meet you. I’m Ryohei’s partner, Meguro”.
Juri accepts the handshake. “Tanaka Juri”.
Meguro’s right hand then goes inside his pants pocket, then letting out a business card. He presents it to Juri, with his business smile. “I’m the CEO of Zarigani Landscaping. If you’re thinking of a fresh outdoor space, or perhaps setting up irrigation systems, you may reach out to my company. I have a Bachelor’s Degree in Landscape Architecture and I have worked with clients all over Japan. You may visit the website stated there to see the reviews of our services. Most of them are more than satisfied with the outcome”.
Both Abe and Juri are shocked with this revelation. Meguro is not just a gardener, but also the CEO? Juri suddenly feels small. He keeps looking between Meguro and Abe uncomfortably and finally he says, “Uhh nice to meet you. You guys enjoy your date! See ya, Ryohei!”
After a swift wave towards Abe, Juri walks away.
Abe lets out a sigh of relief. Then he looks at Meguro. The man just keeps on surprising him.
“I came here by car”, Meguro starts. “Let’s get in first. We’ll talk in the car”.
They stay quiet all the way to the car. Once inside, Meguro puts his left hand on top of Abe’s right hand, softly squeezing it in a comforting manner.
“Don’t let what that man said get into your head”.
They make eye contact. Abe obviously looks clueless.
“I overheard everything. He sounds like he’s projecting his insecurity onto you and that’s not a nice thing to do. He shouldn’t put down someone’s self-esteem like that. Trust me, you are enough. You’re special the way you are. I really like the way you are now. Let me guess. An ex?”
Abe nods.
“No wonder. Anyway, beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, right? And I think you are beautiful. And I don’t mind being your boyfriend, really”.
*Kyun! Kyun!* Abe feels his face burning. He tries to change the subject.
“Ahhhhh! By the way! You never told me you are the CEO!”, his hand escapes Meguro’s hold and he points his index fingers accusingly at Meguro.
Meguro laughs. “CEO of a small, medium enterprise, Abe-kun! It’s no big deal! It’s not like I owned a company with a million-dollar net worth. Plus, I don’t like to introduce myself as a CEO outside business. It attracts…different kinds of people…which I’m uncomfortable with in most cases. Abe-kun too! Please don’t change the way you behave around me now that you know I’m a CEO. We’re equal, so please treat me just like the way you usually do”. Meguro is now holding both of Abe’s hands in his. “Please?”
Abe smiles. Meguro is a humble man. “Alright, Meguro-kun. I’m just surprised, really! You hid that fact very well. Ohh and you grasp the situation quickly too back then. Your acting is believable!”
Meguro grins. “Ohh? I don’t want it to be just an act though”.
“What do you mean?”
“Don’t you want it? Me becoming your boyfriend?” Meguro just boldly say that head-on, confidently.
*Kyun! Kyun!*
“Ahhhh! Meguro-kun, you’re bad! Don’t tease me!”
“Haha! Don’t worry, I’ll slowly make you admit to that, Ryohei~”
“Ahhhhhhhhh! I didn’t hear that! Nope!” Abe shuts both of his ears with his hands.
Meguro steps on the pedal and off they go to Meguro River.
You are my love trigger
A dangerous flavor, but I want ya
The moment our eyes met
I’m Going crazy
Going crazy for you, oh God
I’m craving to be loved by you
It takes about 16 minutes to reach Tennozu Pier, where the port is. The area is already packed with people simply enjoying the cherry blossoms and there’s also already a long line of people waiting for the cruise. After they got off the car, Meguro goes beside Abe and grabs his hand.
“So that we won’t get separated. We have to march through these people. Brace yourself”.
Abe nods in understanding.
All the way to the dock, they hold hands.
They manage to hop on the boat about half an hour later. It’s 7pm and it’s already dark. The city of Tokyo lights up, producing a stunning and scenic view of glowing cherry blossoms along the river. The cruise will run about 70 minutes.
“Oh my God! What a magical view! I never went on a cruise at night before!”, Abe comments, full of glee. He cannot stop snapping photos of the tranquil beauty of the cherry blossoms at night.
Meguro is also taking photos but most of them, are of Abe. But the man doesn’t realize of course.
“Meguro-kun, do you know what Hanami at night called?”
“…Yozakura?”
“Correct! 10 points for you!”
“Haha! Are you mocking me? Of course I know that!”
“Hmm…Then, which Yen coin had Sakura engraved on it?”
“Which Yen? Oh no…100 Yen?”
“Correct! Another 10 points for you! We have chrysanthemum on the 50 Yen coin and Tachibana flower on the 500 Yen coin”.
Meguro responds with an “Ohh!” and nods in understanding. He is amused but he likes how excited Abe looks right now, randomly giving quiz and sharing his knowledge.
“Ok last one! Hmm…There is a name for the state when all the Sakura petals have fallen and the leaves are budding. What is it called?”
“Ok I don’t know that one. Can you tell me the answer, Abe-sensei?”
“Hehe It’s called Hazakura. Even though there are no Sakura flowers on the tree”.
“Ahh I see. Ok, right now, I have one question for you”. Meguro crosses his arms. Abe nods, signaling him to continue.
“Do you like cherry-themed garden?”, Meguro asks with a serious expression on his face.
“For your next project? That sounds fascinating!”
“Nope, the garden is here”. Meguro grabs Abe’s right hand, placing it onto his chest. “I have the garden right here. And it’s blooming beautifully. If you like it, I’m willing to give it to you”.
Abe is lost in Meguro’s sharp eyes. He feels like his heart going to burst out from his chest. They stay in that position for what feels like eternity, until Meguro slowly let go of Abe’s hand. Abe doesn’t say any word, his mind is still processing Meguro’s words.
Meguro clears his throat. “Just so you know, I’m not playing. The offer is still valid”. He winks.
Abe puffs his cheeks and hits Meguro on the chest with his hand.
A sudden breeze of cold night air passes by. “Aaa-choo!” Abe sneezes. Cute, is what Meguro thought.
Meguro then happily envelopes himself around Abe, hugging the man from the back, trapping his beloved in a warm embrace. Abe goes panic. “Wh-wha-wha-what are you doing?”
“Providing you and me, extra warmth”, Meguro carefreely answers.
Abe puts his hands over his face. “People are watching…”
“No, they don’t. They’re watching the Sakura trees. Even if they do, let them watch. It’s not like we’re doing anything wrong”, Meguro assures, tightening his hold on Abe.
Abe gives up. He decides to listen to Meguro and positioned himself comfortably in Meguro’s embrace. Meguro is a level-headed person. And somehow, it’s calming him.
Abe takes out his phone, opens the camera app and turns it to selfie mode.
“Say cheese, Meguro-kun!”
They snap numerous photos together. They are some photos where Meguro stare at Abe’s face when Abe is posing for the camera, and vice versa.
“Love is as delicate and fleeting as cherry blossoms, yet it fills our hearts with everlasting joy.”
I want your love, I want your love, I want your love
Oh baby
I need your love, I need your love, I need your love
Oh baby
“Thank you for today, Meguro-kun! I really had fun!”
They are currently inside Meguro’s car, just arrived at Abe’s apartment. After the ethereal boat cruise, both of them decided to get dinner at an Indian restaurant nearby the pier, then continue their yozakura stroll a little bit more before ending their date today.
Meguro looks like he’s in deep thought. He simply turns his face towards Abe, giving him a gloomy smile as a response.
Abe tilts his head and asks worryingly, “What’s wrong?”
“Abe-kun”. Meguro takes a deep breath. “Can we continue this date tomorrow? That is…if you’re available”.
Abe lets out a smile of content. Is this what this man is worried about? Meguro can be cute sometimes. “Of course! I have no plans for tomorrow yet so…I’m very happy to go out with you again tomorrow. Sure! Let’s do it!”
Meguro’s eyes suddenly lit up. He’s also grinning from ear to ear. He shouts, “YOSH! Then, are you ok with going to Maxell Aqua Park, Shinagawa? I’ve been wanting to go there for the longest time but never had the chance to”.
“Ahh! Sure, I’m ok with that! It’s been a long time too since I visited there. Maybe during high school? You’ve made me excited to see the penguins now! Hehe can’t wait!”
“Hehe ok then, it’s a date! I’ll pick you up tomorrow at 10am?”
“Sure! I’ll you see tomorrow then! Have a safe drive back home and good night”.
Meguro pulls a trick just like he did to Abe back in Hokkaido – locking the door the moment Abe about to get out.
Abe turns his head around with an annoyed expression, his fingers clicking to unlock the door manually and immediately open the door.
“See you tomorrow, Meguro-kun”, Abe says, with a breathy, sultry voice.
Abe waves before he entered his apartment complex.
Meguro raises one fist to the air, as if celebrating a victory. He had thought of bringing Abe to another date tomorrow since the cruise. He prayed, that if Abe agrees to go on the date, he will officially ask Abe to be his lover. Now that his prayer is answered, he has some planning to do. He also has to prepare emotionally, so the confession will go smoothly. He makes another prayer.
“May he accept me as his lover”.
You are my love trigger
I want to wallow in the feelings, just like this
Forever and ever
“Yo! We’re matching! Haha! I guess we think alike, huh?”
Both Abe and Meguro are amused at this situation. But Meguro especially, is more than happy. Because they already look like a couple right now.
They are dressed appropriately for an aquarium date. They both are wearing marine blue jacket. Meguro is wearing a similar marine blue singlet as an undershirt, paired with marine blue joggers. He uses the same shoes that he wore yesterday. Meanwhile, Abe is wearing a marine blue shirtwaist. Definitely designed for women. However, it doesn’t look out of place for Abe. He is looking gorgeous in it. Meguro thought. Abe is wearing white chinos and he completes the look with marine blue sneakers. Meguro also notices that Abe is wearing a dangling glass earring in a snowflake shape at his right ear. Meguro smiles. Today is starting good. And it’s going to get better and special.
They arrived at their destination about 40 minutes later. They buy admission tickets from the ticket machine and proceed to enter the underwater world. Inside the building, there is actually not just aquarium, as in rows of tanks displaying marine life. Upon entering, there are numbered routes people should follow. Firstly, they are greeted with big walls of Sakura projection mapping. Abe and Meguro take turns to pose for photos here. Next, they move on to the “Magical Ground”. There is a photo booth where you can pay to get your photos taken, with the background of the sea world. A good souvenir indeed. Meguro puts his right arm over Abe’s shoulders and Abe leans his head onto Meguro’s chest, while they make a peace sign. Clicks! The cameraman gives them a ticket that they should keep to fetch their printed photos at the souvenir shop when they finish their aquarium tour. What’s interesting is that there’s also a merry-go-round next to the photo booth. Instead of the usual horses’ ride, there are different kinds of undersea creatures presented there.
They are transported to a celestial world of cherry blossoms, where there are cherry blossoms projections on the wall, the ceiling and even on the ground. However, this part exhibits some small underwater creatures such as seahorse. As they go deeper, the space turns darker and right then do they get that aquarium atmosphere. They are seeing bigger creatures now such as koi fish and frogs. Interestingly, there is also a drinking bar and even a pirate ship, that people are able to ride on, at this section of the building. Meguro initially suggested that they should hop on the pirate ship but after seeing the long que, he cancelled his decision. They quickly move on to the 4th route called Jellyfish Ramble. Here, they enjoy the ethereal view of different species of jellyfish in cylinder tanks.
Little Paradise is the next section they went into. This part exhibits even bigger creatures such as sharks and stingrays. There is a photo spot arch so both of them stop to take some photos there. The next route which are the Wild Street and Jungle area, mainly exhibit creatures like chameleon and seal.
They go to the upper level, to the stadium next - to catch a dolphin show. The stadium is already almost full the moment they arrived but they manage to get seats on the 5th row. It is known that dolphins are smart creatures. Meguro and Abe believe in it more after seeing the show. There is also a penguin show and a capybara feeding show at the outdoor square, so they move there respectively afterwards. That is the end of their aquarium tour. They head to the souvenir shop next to the stadium to fetch their printed photos. They also bought matching bangle bracelet with photos of cute pinniped (or commonly known as seal) on them. The color of the bangle also matches the color they are wearing today so after they bought them, Abe immediately snaps some photos of them wearing the bangles. They head to the food court next to replenish their energy. Meguro is getting more restless as time goes by. He wishes himself a good luck, as the time for him to profess his feelings is getting nearer.
If everything can be forgotten and overlaid
We’ll go together
Just pull the trigger
I won’t let you go
Let’s get it now
“Ahh~ I’m full~ That was a good meal!”, Abe exclaims in happiness.
They decided to share a huge sized Margherita Pizza for lunch. They will be heading to Nikon Museum next, as discussed during their lunch earlier.
Before exiting the building they are currently in, they come across a clear glass room named “Feel The Chill – Snow Room”. It is basically a small room covered with real snow, with temperature set at 14degrees Fahrenheit. There are also some artificial trees in there to create an outdoor vibe.
“Let’s go in! We rarely get to experience snow here in Tokyo!”, Meguro suggests. They are amazed. The room is cold and even for a while, they can’t believe they are able to experience snow out of season.
“Abe-kun, I’m sorry but can you help me take pictures from the outside?”
“Yeah, sure!” Abe goes outside and snaps some photos of Meguro inside the Snow Room as instructed.
Abe is about to go back inside when Meguro makes a “Wait” gesture. Then he gestures Abe to come closer to the glass, in front of where Meguro is currently standing.
Meguro breathe out onto the glass. The cold temperature inside creating a condensation to form on the surface of the glass, emerging as a fog. Abe patiently waits as Meguro write “Can” on the glass.
Meguro moves a step to his left. He breathes onto the glass again and now he writes “You”. He moves another step and repeats the process again. “Be”. Finally, Meguro is one step closer to the door. This time, he writes “My Lover”.
Meguro opens the door.
“Can you be my lover?”
Abe is at lost for words. He doesn’t expect Meguro will ask him out this way or even the fact that he’s considering Abe to be his partner. Honestly, Abe is so touched.
“I like you, Abe-kun. I like you so much. I’m in euphoria whenever you’re around. I feel a flip-flopping here (pointing at his stomach) every time I meet you. My heart’s racing, my palms sweating more than usual and I’ve been thinking about you a lot that I had trouble sleeping on time. I realized that these are symptoms of falling in love. I have fallen in love with you, Abe-kun. Please be my boyfriend”.
Even in this situation, Meguro is being polite that he bows at the end of his speech. He doesn’t raise his head, until Abe speaks up, in a quiet voice. “Yes, I do”.
Meguro raise his head a little. “Say that again, please”.
Abe takes a deep breath. “Yes, I will be your lover, Meguro-kun”.
Meguro jumps in joy and instantly gives Abe a bear hug.
“I love you, Abe-kun! I love you so much!”
Abe returns the hug and whispers a “Thank you”.
With the Snow Room as a background, Meguro thought it was already setting up a nice romantic atmosphere. Meguro pulls off from the hug and stares deep into Abe’s hazel eyes, then moves to Abe’s cute nose, then finally, to Abe’s red, plump lips. Meguro reaches down for a kiss, but Abe hits his chest, stopping him.
“I…want to let you know my feelings too…I felt all the similar things you felt. I’m also head over heels for you but it never crossed my mind that you will be in love with me too. I realized who I am, so I thought I am no match and you deserved someone better. I’m very…touched…Thank you for choosing to love me. I really appreciate it”.
A tear escapes from Abe’s eyes. Meguro brushes the tear off. He feels relieved upon hearing Abe’s confession. Meguro presses his forehead onto Abe’s, inhaling Abe’s scent and eventually he asks, “Can I kiss you now?”
Abe chuckles. He is feeling shy at the moment but eventually he closes his eyes and faces upwards.
Their first kiss is a sweet one. Starts with a simple peck. Then Meguro dares to kiss Abe’s top lip, so Abe responds by kissing Meguro’s bottom lip. Meguro proceeds to use his tongue to lick open Abe’s mouth, but it seems that Abe is not ready yet. He pushes Meguro by the chest again.
“One step at a time, my dear”.
Meguro gives an open-mouth smile. It’s alright. He is more than satisfied for now.
“Shall we go now, Mr. Boyfriend?” Abe slides his right hand into Meguro’s left, linking all their fingers.
“We shall”.
Abe and Meguro now, officially create their love story.
They finally find each other’s half, and they hope this love will never fades.
Under the fleeting Sakura petals, they walk hand in hand.
You are my love trigger
A dangerous flavor, but I want ya
The moment our eyes met
I’m Going crazy
Going crazy for you, oh God
I’m craving for your love
[Epilogue]
“See! I told you my instinct is never wrong!”, Raul exclaims.
Raul and the two lovebirds are currently chilling out at Watanabe Café. Abe got off work earlier today. Abe asked if Raul was able to come earlier for the tutoring and he did. Since they finished early, Abe decided to treat Raul at his favorite café, in addition to breaking the news of him and Meguro being a couple. By the time Abe and Raul arrived at the café, they saw Meguro was about to finish working for the day, at the café’s garden. Abe greeted his boyfriend and Meguro told them that he would be joining them at the table soon.
“Congrats, sensei and Meme! May you guys excel in this relationship. I’m looking forward to hear more of your love story!”, Raul cry out in joy.
It has been a week since Abe and Meguro officially become lovers. Watanabe, who overheard the whole conversation the couple had with Raul, also chimed in to congratulate them.
“So you guys are a couple now, huh? So happy for you both. Congrats!”
“Thank you, Watanabe-san. By the way, how do you like the garden so far? Just another session, then if you are satisfied, we will finish the contract”.
“I’m more than impressed with your work, Meguro-san. I believe the customers will find the garden, a pleasant spot too. I’m considering getting your service again for the garden maintenance. Is that possible?”
“Sure! I will bring over the paperwork on our next session. We shall sign another contract, ok?”
Abe is happy to hear his boyfriend getting a praise for his work. He hopes Zarigani Landscaping will continue to strive.
“Speaking of business – Abe-kun! I just received a call this afternoon to meet a client at Akita tomorrow. If you are free, let’s go together. I’ll booked the flight tickets now”.
“Sure! I would love to! Just let me know the price yeah”.
“Hehe no worries, this one is on me”.
And Raul is left witnessing the couple cutely bickering about the travel payment.
“Ahh~ It must be nice to be in love. I wonder…when will I find mine?”
He takes another sip of his honey lemon soda and continue observing his sensei, now resting his head comfortably on his cousin’s chest, while they both giggling, eyes on Meguro’s smartphone. They met as seatmates on the plane by coincidence. Few months later, they planned their seats together. Raul thought dreamily, this occurrence is so romantic. "Ahh~ I want a lover too~"
I want your love, I want your love, I want your love
Oh baby
I need your love, I need your love, I need your love
Oh baby
“Ojamashimasu”
Abe and Meguro check-in to a business hotel in Akita the next day. Since Meguro’s meeting is scheduled in the late evening, they departed Tokyo in the afternoon. Today is Saturday. They will be staying at the hotel for a night and tomorrow, they will try to explore Akita a little bit.
“My client’s site is 5 minutes away from here. But I believe we have a lot to discuss. It might take a while. I might even get a dinner with them later so you don’t have to wait for me and you can go explore the city. Just be careful, ok?”
Abe nods in understanding. “Sure. All the best and take care!”
Before Meguro leaves, he gives Abe a kiss on the forehead and a peck on the lips. “See you later”.
Meguro left.
*Kyun! Kyun!
They are already acting like a married couple. Is what Abe thought.
Abe goes out to explore the neighborhood near the hotel. He goes inside some vintage shops, a nice, old-school coffee shop and a family diner for dinner. As he walks around town, he takes note of some establishments that he finds interesting, for work purposes. He updates Meguro of his whereabouts until he gets back to the hotel at around 8.30pm. Meguro’s last text was at 8pm, informing Abe that the client is indeed inviting him for a dinner and that he will be back at the hotel as soon as they are done. Abe decides to take a bath first and maybe watch a TV while waiting for Meguro to return.
Meguro hasn’t returned yet when Abe finished his bath. After taking that warm bath, Abe feels sleepy. He lays his head on the pillow, still in his bathrobe, and falls into a deep slumber.
“Tadaima!”
Meguro enters the room. But there is no answer. After removing his shoes, he slowly goes further inside.
He is greeted by a breathtaking view of his lover, sleeping peacefully on the bed, in a bathrobe. The view is inviting, and Meguro have to admit, he is somewhat aroused.
Once he reaches the bed, he sits down on the edge, then softly caressing his lover’s face, admiring the sight in front of him.
Abe stirs up from his sleep. “Meguro-kun? Okaeri”, the man murmurs, sleepily.
Abe tries to sit up, but before he could do so, he was pushed back to lay on the bed by his lover. He gasps in surprised. Meguro is looking at him, with dark eyes. Abe knows that look.
Lust.
“I’m still hungry, my sleeping beauty. You’re looking so delicious right now that I want to go ahead and feast on you”, says Meguro, with a deep voice.
The light is already dim. The mood is set. Meguro’s right hand then moves down to open the slit of Abe’s bathrobe, and caresses Abe’s thigh.
“Ahn~” A sweet moan emits out of Abe’s mouth.
Meguro brings his face closer. “Do you want it?”, he whispered exactly into Abe’s left ear.
Abe’s eyes are hazy. He too, is getting pretty much stimulated right now.
He reaches up to wrap his arm around Meguro’s neck. And initiating a deep, passionate kiss. Their tongues battle for dominance, but Abe immediately gives in, accepting the ecstasy from this pleasure.
After they pull away from the kiss for breath, with a breathless voice full of yearning, Abe says:
“Savor me. Let my essence linger on your palate”.
They fulfilled their raging inferno of love throughout the night.
Meguro promised, from now on too, he will continue to find ways to keep Abe’s heart, throbbing for him.
You are my love trigger
I want to wallow in the feelings, just like this
Forever and ever
===END===
Love Trigger (Dark - Tragedy version)
This is a fanfiction, meaning that all events and occurrences in this story are all fictional and all are part of my imagination. Any resemblance to actual life events and people, living or dead, are all purely coincidence. I am not, in any way, affiliated to Snow Man members or Johnny’s Entertainment so I do not own the Snow Man members mentioned in my fanfiction.
=================
A man looks at the snow falling outside his window.
“Ahh~ it would be nice if I could touch the snow right now…”
You are my love trigger
A dangerous flavor, but I want ya
Yeah
Through the window, Abe Ryohei watches his new next door neighbor moving in. There are two men – the noisy one, who keeps on complaining how heavy the stuffs are; and the quiet one, who responds to all the complains with just, a beautiful smile. That’s what Abe thought. The quiet one intrigues him. He closes his curtain and continue to do whatever that he did before he heard the moving noises.
About half an hour later, Abe heard a knock on his front door. Through the peephole, he sees his new neighbor, the quiet one, in front of the door. He opens the door.
“Hello! I just move to the apartment across yours. My name is Meguro Ren”.
The man bows, then, brings both his hands to the front, which is holding a giftbox.
“Here is a little gift. It’s a lavender scented candle. Hope we can be good neighbors!”
Meguro Ren smiles. That beautiful smile Abe found fascinating.
Abe takes the giftbox carefully from Meguro’s hands. Their skin touches. For a moment, Abe feels a tingling sensation through his body. He finds it weird.
“How sweet of you! I’m Abe Ryohei. Welcome to the neighborhood! Please come in. Let me make you tea. Ohh I saw another man with you before. Please invite him too!”
“Ahh That’s Koji. My housemate. He’s asleep right now. Tired from all the moving. Don’t worry, I’ll ask him to greet you another day”
“Ahh that’s fine then. Please come in!”
Abe immediately lights the candle that Meguro gave him before proceeding to make tea. They sit at Abe’s living room, talking about the neighborhood and getting to know each other personally. Both of them immediately clicks, and it has been nearly 2 hours before Meguro receives a text message on his phone.
“I have to go now, Abe-kun. Koji is searching for me. Need to set up some more things inside the house. Thank you for the tea! You’re such a good company. Let’s chat again some time!”
“If you need help with anything, just let me know, ok? I had a good time too! Thank you again for the candle!”
Meguro left. Abe has a fuzzy feeling inside his chest. He smiles, a happy one.
Before I knew it, my thoughts are all about you
Without realizing, this Feeling is overflowing
The popular Love song I heard on the street
It won’t leave my head, I don’t know why
The melody that won’t let me sleep
Abe is a budding psychiatrist. He’s on the way to apply for a practicing psychiatrist license and is now on his second year of residency. So far, he’s been located to work in various environments in the community – sometimes at the local clinic, at schools and even at prison once.
Abe loves his job and is trying his best to provide accurate diagnosis and treatment on every case he took. However, due to a trauma from a past incident, he’s currently seeing a psychiatrist himself. He’s currently on medication but is getting better, thus, his dosage is getting lower as prescribed by his attending psychiatrist.
The next morning after the new neighbors move in, Abe experiences an unusual phenomenon.
“Oh my God! I’m going to be late! Where are my keys?”
He always put his keys on a table near the entrance so he finds it weird when he didn’t see the keys there. He also remembered that he never moves his keys from the table once he’s inside the house. In frustration, he searches on and under the table thoroughly, checking the drawers and rummaging through his bag. No luck. He runs his hand through his hair, feeling panic. He needs to ask the apartment’s security guard for some help. He unlocks his front door and goes out. The moment he closes the door, he sees it. His keys are hanging on the door lock. He lets out a sigh of relief. However, he still finds it weird. How come he forgot that he has left the keys outside?
“…Everyday is an embodiment of love…We’ll still be loving each other tomorrow morning…”
Abe turns his head at the direction of the singing voice. There he sees Meguro, in a black shirt and shorts, just about to go out from his own apartment. Looks like the man is about to throw away two trash bags to the designated disposal area downstairs. He also seems to have earbuds on because once he made eye contact with Abe, he taps his right ear and greets, “Good morning, Abe-kun!”
“Good morning, Meguro-kun! Everything going well?”
“Yeah! Just waiting for the telecom company to set up the wifi today”
“That’s good to hear. I’m going to work soon. Have a good day!”
“Same goes to you! Ahh, you can go ahead using the elevator. I’m using the stairs”
“Are you sure? We’re on the 11th floor”
“For exercise”, and Meguro giggles.
Abe chuckles too. “Alright then. Take care!”
And he sees Meguro walks down the stairs.
Abe takes his bag which was on the entrance table, locks the door and goes to work.
On his way though, that popular love song, Ai no Katamari, is repeatedly playing on his head.
Don’t be shy. As you are, Follow me
I won’t be able to say that Word afterall
Mystery, no matter what I do, I can’t reach your Philosophy
It has been 2 weeks since then. Abe has only seen Meguro another 3 times in the morning, within the past 2 weeks. He hopes his neighbors are adjusting well to their new place. Speaking of neighbors, he still hasn’t met with Koji, Meguro’s housemate. Aside from the first day, he never saw Koji going out from the apartment. Probably their schedules just don’t match. Sometimes Abe leaves early in the morning and return late at night. Also, he doesn’t know what Koji does for work. He never asked Meguro when he came over on the first day and Meguro also never told him.
Tomorrow is 14th February. Valentine’s Day. Perhaps he could drop by and give them some chocolates. If he’s lucky, he’ll be able to meet Koji.
It’s decided. He will go to the supermarket to buy ingredients to make chocolate cakes later after work. For his family, friends, work colleagues, and also, his neighbors.
Babe, baby, babe
Say my name, Say my name
Babe, baby, babe
Say my name darling
Abe return to his apartment complex around 7.30pm. Upon exiting the elevator on his level, somehow he lost his balance and his groceries fall to the ground – scattered all over the floor.
“Hey! Are you ok? Let me help you!”
A youthful looking man gives him a helping hand.
“Ahh! I’m sorry for the trouble! Thank you so much!”
“No problem! I help you carry these inside”
Abe opens the door to his apartment and let the man in. After the man puts his groceries on his dining table, Abe thanked the man again. Now, he can see the man’s face more clearly. He is very beautiful. Almost like a woman.
“You’re the new neighbor, right? Koji-kun? I’m Abe Ryohei. Nice to meet you!” Abe reaches out for a handshake.
The man returns his handshake and giggles. “Nice to meet you too, neighbor! Ahh! I supposed to meet someone downstairs in a few minutes. I better get going. I’ll see you around!”
“Ahh I see. Ok, see you!”
“Oh wait!” The man pulls out a polaroid camera from his bag. He brings the camera up towards Abe. “Smile!”
A confused Abe then smiles and makes a peace sign. *SNAPS* The photo is taken.
The man then passes the polaroid photo to Abe. “Here, for you! See ya!” Then he runs off towards the elevator.
“Thank you!” Abe shouts at the direction of the elevator. He shakes his head. Koji-kun seems to be a peculiar one. As he remembers that he needs to quickly get to work on making cakes, he tosses the polaroid photo into the drawer of the entrance table without waiting for the photo to develop.
There’s no turning back anymore
Be my girl – the heart won’t lie
Honey Imma make you mine
Hold you tight right now
Can you give me one more night?
Let’s get it now
Abe is awakened by what sounds like pans falling down to the floor. In his half-awake state, he makes his way towards the kitchen. Sure enough, he sees his pans on the floor.
“Ahh…I might’ve placed them so close to the edge…”
He yawns and returned the pans on top of his kitchen table.
As he is about to go back to his room, he hears another noise. He quickly turns back to the living/dining/kitchen, scanning the room. This time it sounds like something or…someone…bumps into something. He starts to feel a little bit…scared. He switches on the light. Nothing is out of ordinary. Maybe the noise came from the outside. He closes the light and goes back into the bedroom.
The remaining night, he dreamt of Meguro-kun. Meguro-kun was embracing him so tight, that he can’t breathe. Meguro-kun whispered into his ears, “Just pull the trigger”. Abe looked down. Suddenly, there was a gun on his hand.
Abe wakes up in a jolt, sweating and breathing heavily. He cries. He can’t decide – whether the dream is a good or bad omen.
You are my love trigger
A dangerous flavor, but I want ya
The moment our eyes met
I’m Going crazy
Going crazy for you, oh God
I’m craving for your love
Abe’s day didn’t start well but life must go on. It’s Valentine’s Day – even though he doesn’t have a lover yet, he still has lots of people that he wanted to say thanks on this day. He can’t wait to see the smiles on the faces of the people he’s about to give his homemade chocolates and chocolate cakes. At least that thought makes him smile and he’s ready to face the day.
Abe goes out at his apartment the same time as Meguro does. He eyes Meguro up and down. Meguro looks so dashing in a red suit. He might be going on a date. Ahh…That’s when it hits him. Of course the man is going on a date. Why would a man as handsome as him doesn’t have a lover? That thought sends Abe to a little depressed state.
“Good morning, Abe-kun! Ahh! That looks heavy. Come, let me help you with it”
“Ehh? No…” But before he could refuse, Meguro already took the bag on his left hand and proceed to elevator. “Thank you…” They ride the elevator together.
“These are so many chocolates. Are you going to go on many dates today?”, Meguro playfully asks.
“Of course not! These chocolates are for my friends and colleagues. Since it’s a lover’s day, I thought why not celebrate it with the people I love and thankful for. Not having a lover doesn’t mean that I can’t celebrate it, right? And these chocolate cakes are for my family. I’m meeting them for a bit after work. Ohh! I also made a cake for you and Koji-kun but I left it in the refrigerator. I’ll come by your apartment later when I get back! How about you? You dressed up so dashingly. Are you going on a date?”
Meguro chuckles. The elevator door opens. They have reached the ground floor. As a gentleman, he holds the elevator and let Abe goes out first. “After you”.
“I have a meeting with an important client today. We really want this particular business to sponsor our theatre production. That’s why I dressed up like this today. Gotta starts with the visuals for a good first impression, right?”, Meguro winks.
“Ohh I see! Hehe All the best! Hope your theatre got the sponsorship!”
After hearing the explanation from Meguro, somehow, Abe’s mood brightens up.
When they get out of the apartment building, Meguro passes Abe his bag.
“Alright, I’m going this way. If the stars aligned, I shall see you in the evening. Thank you!”, Abe bows and turns to the direction he’s going.
“Ahh hold on, Abe-kun!”
At this point, Abe freezes. His mind blank and he feels like he can hear his heart thumping.
Meguro moves closer, adjusting the ribbon tie on Abe’s neck.
“There. Now you look much cuter. I hope to see you in the evening. Have a good day!”
Meguro left. Abe still frozen in his position.
I want your love, I want your love, I want your love
Oh baby
I need your love, I need your love, I need your love
Oh baby
The rest of the day went by smoothly. He had a really eventful day which leaves him feeling good. He reaches his apartment at around 9.30pm. It is quite late, so he thought he might just go to Meguro’s apartment to just send over the cake. They don’t need to invite him inside.
“I’m home!”, Abe opens the door to his apartment. Hmm? The next door apartment is pitch black. For context, from Abe’s kitchen, he’s able to see into Meguro’s living room, provided that the curtain is open. He notices that all the curtains are still raised and no lights are on so he assumed that no one is home.
“It’s Valentine’s Day anyway. Probably they are out late…”
Abe is a little disappointed. Deep inside, he does want to meet Meguro tonight. However, he is also tired. So he decides to take a bath then go to sleep. He can just give the cake in the morning.
After a refreshing bath, Abe, now in his bath robe, goes to the kitchen to drink some water before he gets ready for bed. When he arrives at the kitchen, he notices that there is a light coming from Meguro’s apartment. A dim orange light from a desk lamp. But the curtains are still raised. Maybe one of them just got home?
Abe notices some movements. He can’t see clearly because that place is still mostly dark. Only the dim light from the desk lamp is the source of light at that side. He forces his eyes to focus. He sees a hooded figure. The figure looks like he/she’s searching around the place for something. Is the person wearing a glove?
Abe immediately crouches down. He doesn’t want to risk being found by whoever is on the other side. He also feels like throwing up. So many things going on in his head. It can’t be! What if…Is he currently witnessing an attempted robbery?
He slowly moves his head up, just enough so he could still see whatever going on the other side. The next scene he witnessed, sends him directly into a panic attack.
He saw the hooded figure beating Koji-kun with the desk lamp. The top of the desk lamp has a sharp edge. And it was used to hit Koji-kun’s head numerous times. The last thing he saw before he decided to dial the security guard number was…Koji-kun’s face on the window, it was as if he’s looking directly at Abe, and he mouthed “Save me”.
The security guard picks up the call on the third ring. “Yes Abe-san, is there anything wrong?”
Abe has trouble breathing but he tries his best to mutter, “Koji-kun…my neighbor…he’s bleeding…There’s an intruder…Please…Come up soon…Please…”
Two security guards arrive at the 11th floor as soon as they can. One of the guards knocks on Abe’s apartment while the other one knocks on Meguro’s apartment.
“Abe-san! I’m coming in!”
The security guard unlocks the door using the master key and enters the apartment, searching for Abe. He finds Abe still on his kitchen floor, breathing hard.
“Oh my God! Abe-san! Hold on, let me call an ambulance!”
Abe stops the security guard. “Don’t mind me…How about Koji-kun? Is he safe?”
“There’s no one inside” The other security guard shouts from outside Meguro’s apartment.
Now, Abe feels like his heart stopped. “…Ehh?...”
“What’s going on?”
Everyone turns to the direction of the voice. Meguro’s voice.
“Ahh I’m sorry for entering your apartment without permission. We received a call from your neighbor. He saw an intruder in your house and that your housemate is bleeding…”
“WHAT?!” Meguro then runs into his apartment shouting Koji’s name numerous times. He comes back outside after a few minutes. “It seems that Koji is still not home though. And there’s nothing out of ordinary. Everything is in place”.
Silence.
Then it was broken by the sound of the elevator arriving at the 11th floor.
A man with a long hair comes out.
“Ahh! Meme! You just arrived home too?”
Meguro lets out a sigh of relief. He comes up to the long-haired man and wraps his right arm around the long-haired man’s shoulders.
“Thank God you’re safe!”
The man, obviously confused, asks, “Why? What’s wrong?”
At this moment, the long-haired man also realizes that there is a security guard standing in front of their apartment, as well as the neighbor’s apartment door is currently wide open. Abe comes outside, with the other security guard soothing his back.
“Oh my God! What happen? Are you ok?” The long-haired man approaches Abe worryingly.
“Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine soon. Thank you. And you are?”
“Ahh! I’m sorry that I haven’t greet you since we moved in 2 weeks ago. But Meme had told me that we have such a cute neighbor. And he’s not lying, you’re really cute! I’m Mukai Koji, your new neighbor! Nice to meet you!”
Abe feels like throwing up again.
“Wha- But you’re not Koji-kun that I know”
The long-haired man then tilts his head, questioningly.
“How…? I mean…The Koji-kun that I met before…is not this person!”
Abe’s breathing becomes frantic again. And he can hear the craziness coming out from his own mouth. He’s sure he’s about to break down anytime soon.
“Ohh? But this is the first time that I’m meeting you…”
Abe falls to the ground, both his hands holding his head. His head is hurting.
“But I swear…I saw…I saw people inside the apartment…”
“Abe-san, I’m sorry but I think you might be too tired. It’s probably just all in your head. No one is harm, see? Both your neighbors are safe. Nobody is hurt. We’re more worried about you right now. We can help you call Miyadate-san if you need him”, said the security guard who soothes his back.
Abe shakes his head. “Don’t. I don’t want to trouble him this late at night. But listen…last night, I talk with Koji-kun in front of this apartment. He helped me brought my groceries inside…”
“You need to rest, Abe-san. It has been a long day. If you’re still concerned about this, we will just call Miyadate-san here. You may consult with him about your condition. For your peace of mind”, the security guard persuade him.
Abe does not answer.
He tries to stand up slowly, then bows to everyone. “I’m sorry for worrying all of you”. He then turns to the security guard behind him. “You may inform Miyadate-san but only if he’s not occupied with anything right now”.
“Alright, Abe-san. Please take care”.
Abe goes inside his apartment while the other security guard apologizes again to the tenants of apartment 11B.
You are my love trigger
I want to wallow in the feelings, just like this
Forever and ever
About 15 minutes later, Abe hears a knock on his door.
“Abe, it’s me, Miyadate”.
Abe opens the door to his psychiatrist, who thankfully lives on level 7 at the same apartment complex. He invites Miyadate-san in then proceed to sit at the living room, across each other.
“The security guard told me what happened. As a psychology student yourself, I believe you must have an idea what this means, right?”
Abe looks at Miyadate for a brief moment before he looks down again, not answering his psychiatrist.
“Tell me the details. I want to listen to you”, Miyadate continues, with a gentle tone.
After taking a deep breath, Abe told his psychiatrist whatever that he saw earlier that night.
After finishing his story, Abe hesitates, but decides to just ask his psychiatrist, “What do you think? Is it…Am I going through a relapse?”
“Hmm…Since this is the first time after a long while that this happened, it might possibly be a symptom. Or maybe, it’s just today. Since today is Valentine’s Day, you must’ve felt overwhelmed. Perhaps there was some event today that have triggered it. Can you tell me how was your day today? From the time you woke up”.
Abe talks about his day. From having a “bad” dream so he woke up in a not so good mood, Meguro-kun helping him carry his Valentine’s gifts till downstairs, his exciting day at the workplace where he also received some more chocolates from his colleagues and patients, meeting up with some of his friends at the park after work, a fancy early dinner with his family who live half an hour away, then coming back home.
Miyadate nodded his head occasionally while listening to Abe’s story. When Abe finishes, Miyadate sits back while crossing his arms, thinking. Suddenly, he asks, “How is your new neighbors? You’re getting well with them?”
“Ahh Meguro-kun sent over that lavender scented candle the day they move in and I’ve been seeing him around occasionally. I still don’t know much about him though, aside from his work as a theatre manager and actor. I saw the other housemate when they move in. I never met the housemate face to face until last night. Meguro-kun said his housemate is called Koji. I met who I thought is this Koji guy last night in front of this apartment but just now, a different man introduced himself as Koji. And he said this was the first time he met me…” Abe suddenly remembers something. “Wait!”
Abe runs to the entrance desk and rummages through the drawer. He freezes.
“It’s gone…”
“What is?”
“The polaroid…It’s not here…”
Abe falls down. His head is hurting again. Miyadate rushes to his side, trying to calm him down.
“I swear…I…Koji-kun…He took a polaroid photo of me last night and he gave it to me…I put it inside this drawer…Why…”
Miyadate keeps on soothing Abe’s back. “Shh…It’s ok…Take your medication and have a rest. I suggest you take a day off tomorrow. I’ll come back to visit you again tomorrow. Come. Let me help you up”.
Abe sees Miyadate out after that. Before the psychiatrist left, he puts his right hand on Abe’s left shoulder, squeezing it a bit. “If you are having a hard time, talk to someone yeah. I don’t want to force more things out of you since it’s already late. We’ll talk again tomorrow. Sleep well”.
He moves forward, enveloping Abe in a brief, gentle hug.
“Thank you, Miyadate-san. Ahh hold on!” Abe goes back inside for a moment and comes back out with a small chocolate bar in his hand.
“For you. Happy Valentine’s Day!”
Miyadate receives the chocolate with a smile. “That’s the spirit. Did anyone ever told you that you have such a nice smile? Anyway, thank you. Expect a return gift next month”.
Abe chuckles. “Good night, Miyadate-san. See you tomorrow”.
Once Abe is sure that the elevator door is closed, his smile falters. “Stay strong, Ryohei”.
He enters back into his apartment.
From the apartment across, Meguro sees everything. And he clenches his fist.
Even when I’m awake, I’m yearning still
For your gestures and your habitual phrases
Oh can you be my lover?
Apartment 11B receives a knock on the door the early morning of 15th February.
“Hold on. I’m coming!”
Mukai Koji opens the door. Abe Ryohei is standing outside, with a box of cake on his hand.
“Umm…Good morning. I supposed to give you this cake yesterday for Valentine’s but uhh…last night happened so…I guess this is also an apology for inconveniencing you last night. I hope you will take this…” Abe holds out the box towards Koji.
“Good morning, Abe-chan! Aww you don’t have to but that’s so sweet of you! Thank you!”
Koji receives the cake excitedly. Abe is a little surprised by Koji’s addressing him with a -chan but he’s glad that the man does not freak out especially after what happened last night.
“I would love to invite you inside but both me and Meme are getting ready for work soon so…”
Abe quickly waves both his hands, making a “no” gesture. “Don’t worry! Don’t worry! I just want to send this over to you. Hope you will enjoy the cake and have a good day!”
“Same goes to you Abe-chan! Ohh regarding last night…We heard everything from the security guard…Don’t worry too much about it yeah. To be honest, I am scared of what you believe you saw but I didn’t find you scary. At this modern times, mental health problems should be made aware. Uhh…I’m sorry if I sound insensitive…uhh…because I don’t know how it works but…I hope you will be able to resolve everything and uhh…Get well soon!”
Abe smiles. He can see the genuine concern from Koji.
“I’ll do my best!”
Both of them giggle.
“Shoppi! You can’t go outside!”
Abe freezes. Shoppi? He felt like he heard the name before. But where…?
A beautiful white cat, a Norwegian Forest breed, slips out from the apartment.
“Mou! Shoppi! Ahh Abe-kun! Good morning!”
Meguro comes out with just a towel covering his waist and with hair still dripping wet. Abe’s breathing hitches.
“Dude! Have some decency! Go back inside, I’ll take care of Shoppi”, Koji scolds.
“Ahhhhhhh alright alright! Have a good day, Abe-kun!” And Meguro goes back inside in a hurry.
“Shoppi~ Do you want to meet Abe-chan? Say hi to Abe-chan!”
Abe crouches down to the floor and pet the cat. “Nice to meet you, Shoppi~ You’re so pretty!”
The cat stares at him.
Abe loves cats. Usually, he didn’t find cats uncomfortable but there’s just something about Shoppi that makes him…uneasy…
“Let’s go inside baby. Mama and Papa don’t want to be late for work”, Koji says while bringing the cat up to his chest, like holding a baby. “I claimed myself to be it’s Mama. Ahh! But me and Meme are not a couple though! He’s actually my cousin and we decided to move in together to save up on rent since our workplaces are not far from here”, Koji winks.
“Ahh I see. Alright, I don’t want to take up more of your time! I’ll see you around, Koji-kun!”
I guess you already know about my feelings
Feelin’ so bad, you can’t get away
Yeah
“Good morning, Abe. How are you feeling today?”
“Better than last night, doc. Please come in”.
Once they are seated, Miyadate starts, “The chocolate is delicious by the way. I finished the whole bar in one sitting while watching a documentary. Say, what is your favorite flavor? I’ll try to make a chocolate with your selected flavor for White Day”.
Abe is feeling a little shy by the compliment and the request. “Hmm, let’s see…I like white chocolates. But really, any flavor is fine, Miyadate-san. It’s the thoughts that counts. And I’m glad you like my homemade chocolates”.
Miyadate makes an OK gesture. “Well noted”.
The doorbell rings.
“Hmm? I wonder who’s that. Please wait a moment, Miyadate-san”.
Miyadate nods.
Abe looks at the peephole. It’s Meguro. Abe opens the door.
“Is something the matter, Meguro-kun? You’re not going to work yet?”
“Nope. Nothing’s the matter, Abe-kun. I’m going to work after this. Here, for you”. Meguro brings out a bouquet of pink tulips and magnolias from behind him.
Abe doesn’t know how to react so he simply stares at the flower bouquet till Meguro speaks again.
“I have some time to spare before my meeting soon so I went to the nearest flower shop to get this for you. I hope this will cheer you up”. Meguro smiles. That radiating smile.
Abe flusters and takes the bouquet from Meguro. “Uhh…Why are you like this…You don’t have to but thank you. I really appreciate your concern. The flowers are beautiful”.
“I like seeing your smile, Abe-kun. You really have a nice smile. Ohh there’s a note attached to the bouquet and I’ve written my number there. If you want someone to talk with, do not hesitate to reach out to me. I can listen to you and I will help you as long as it’s within my capabilities. Ahh! I gotta go now. Give me a text later yeah so I can save your number too! See ya!”
Abe can only mutter a soft “Thank you” after having a hard time finding his voice.
Meanwhile, Miyadate hears everything from inside the living room. “Hmm your neighbor is very thoughtful. That is how neighbors should be”, he comments. Upon seeing Abe enters the living room with the bouquet, he continues, “Put the flowers into a vase immediately so they will last longer. We can still converse while you’re arranging the flowers”.
“Ok, doc”. Abe goes to the kitchen to find a suitable vase then proceed remove the flowers carefully from the bouquet. He looks at the note with Meguro’s number on it for a moment and he carefully put it aside, near his phone so he will remember to text the number later.
“Say, Abe. What do you think of your new neighbor? That Meguro-kun, especially”.
“Meguro-kun? Umm…I find him to be very kind and as you said, thoughtful. I also thought that he must be a reliable and responsible man. He’s conventionally attractive too”, Abe answers with his thoughts while filling ¾ of the vase with cool water, then, cutting the flower stems.
“I see. Are you in any ways, attracted to him?”
Abe stops.
“Aside from this, giving you flowers, did he do something else before this?”
Abe doesn’t answer.
Miyadate sighs. “Judging from your silence, I guess he did something, huh? And you find yourself attracted to him. Isn’t that right?”
Abe keeps his silence and is now putting the flowers into the vase, arranging them.
“For now, I believe whatever this Meguro-kun did to you before, might be a trigger to what happened last night. However, this is a tricky situation, Abe. Meguro-kun may be the trigger and may also be helpful to overcome your Philophobia”.
Abe finishes arranging the flowers. He proudly presents it to Miyadate. “Look! They’re so pretty, right?”
Miyadate sighs again. “Abe, I’m your doctor. You can’t avoid this problem forever. I’m here to help you. Be honest with me about your feelings then we can start from there”, Miyadate encourages, sternly.
At this point, Abe is ignoring his psychiatrist altogether and places his attention to the flowers in front of him.
Miyadate stands up. He moves towards the kitchen counter. He places his right hand on top of Abe’s. “I know you’re afraid. Let’s take this slowly, shall we?”
Abe still doesn’t respond.
Miyadate then comes up with an idea. “Ok fine. If you don’t want to talk about your feelings right now, why not we try to solve the mystery of whatever that you saw last night?”
Now Abe turns his head towards his therapist curiously. “What do you mean?”
“Let’s ask the security guard for CCTV footages. There is a CCTV at every floor’s foyer, right? Which overlooks both apartment entrances. For your peace of mind, as well as for me to do an accurate evaluation on your well-being, let’s get the footages”.
Oh baby, tell me what you’re gonna do
If I’m going to see you,
This fuzzy feeling will be going on full speed in the end
I’m not crazy, Make a move
It’s heaven,
For me who becomes aware of the feelings
“At around 10-11pm, correct? Let’s see…”
With the security guard permission, both Abe and Miyadate were directed into the control room and the 3 of them investigate the CCTV footage together.
“Oh no! The file is corrupted during those hours”, the security guard exclaims.
“Hmm…That’s suspicious…”, Miyadate remarks.
“Actually, this is a common thing. The CCTV in this building is old and the owner of the building don’t bother to replace them with new system. The current CCTV can only store 1 week worth of footages and at some random hours, the footage may be corrupted”, the security guard explains, while showing them some footages at random different times which are corrupted as well. “This is so unfortunate. I’m sorry I’m not able to be of help, Abe-san, Miyadate-san”. The security guard genuinely looks apologetic.
“It’s ok, Mr. Guard! You have helped us enough! Don’t worry! I have another favor to ask you though. Can I keep the whole one week of footages?”
“Yes, sure! No problem!”
“One more thing, Abe. Around what time did you say you met Koji-kun the day before yesterday?”, Miyadate reminded.
“Ahh please open the footage on 13th February, 7pm”
“Roger that”
The security guard browse through the footage collection. He found the footage and he click on the video.
“Damn! Corrupted!”, the security guard shouts, distressed.
“It’s alright, Mr. Guard. We’ll skim through the rest of the footages later”.
“Alright, Abe. I’m going to the clinic now. Please take your medication as I prescribed. I will check you up once a week. We shall discuss more about your condition in the next session. Call me if you need anything. Also, if you find anything in the footage, please let me know. Have a good rest, Abe”, Miyadate said, while both of them are walking out from the control room, towards the foyer of the ground floor.
“I will, doc. Thank you and have a good day”, both of them bow before they part ways.
A flowerpot falls to the ground and breaks. One step away from Miyadate. If Miyadate was one second late, the flowerpot might have hit him. The sound of the broken pot alerted the people at the ground floor. Abe too, is shocked upon seeing the event unfolding before his eyes.
“Oh my God, Miyadate-san! Are you alright?!”, Abe screams, going towards the doctor. The security guard is also out and going towards their direction.
“I’m fine. I’m just surprised. God had saved me. If I was only a second late, there might be a bloody accident”.
The 3 of them look up, trying to find from which apartment does the flowerpot belongs to. It is hard to pinpoint exactly from which apartment as lots of tenants in the building grow flowers in their apartments.
“And almost everyone is at work now. It’s ok, I’ll go around and do a check up on all apartments in the evening. I’m glad nothing happened to you, Miyadate-san. You may go ahead to your workplace. Take care!”
Once Miyadate was no longer in sight, both Abe and the security guard let out a sigh of relief. The security guard turns to Abe, “Weird stuffs are happening around Valentine’s Day. Strange, huh? I hope nothing else happens after this”.
Abe agrees.
Babe, baby, babe
Say my name, Say my name
Babe, baby, babe
Say my name darling
Abe is back to work 3 days after. There were no strange happenings within the last 3 days and Abe had also gone through the rest of the CCTV footage. There was no sighting of the pretty man that Abe thought was Koji at all in the footages. But it was also hard to confirm that the man he saw was never existed because of some corrupted footages at random times of the day. And if he was really seeing things, who helped him bring his groceries inside the apartment that night? Did he himself go back outside to become the “second” person? The thought makes him shiver.
Abe is currently sitting at his workstation, browsing through his patients’ data. His fellow co-worker, Jesse, who just arrived with a cup of coffee on his hand, excitedly greets him by patting Abe on his back.
“Good morning, Abe-chan! I heard you’re unwell a few days ago. I hope you’re feeling better now”.
“I am. I’m ready to get all these tasks done today”.
Jesse nods. “That’s the spirit!” Before Jesse left Abe’s desk, he spotted something, and he chuckled.
“Hmm? What’s so funny?”
Jesse smirks and playfully blurts out, “I think I know how you got yourself healed”.
Abe is still clueless.
Jesse moves to touch the back of Abe’s neck with two of his fingers. Abe got goosebumps from the touch. “Even if you wear collared shirt, I can still see it from this angle, you know. Hehehe! Having fun, heh?”
But Abe still cannot process Jesse’s words.
Jesse is a little annoyed at Abe’s clueless reaction, then marches up to the said man with a portable mirror. “Take out your phone. Put the camera in selfie mode”, Jesse instructed.
Abe does what he was told. Jesse faces the mirror behind Abe’s neck so Abe can see the back of his neck in his phone. There, he sees two red marks on his skin. They look like hickeys. And fresh too. Abe freaks out.
“Who’s that person, Abe-chan? Looks like you were bitten hard. Must be good, huh?”
Abe does not hear anything Jesse said after that. He’s trying to remember. But he had no memories of ever sleeping with someone last night. Heck, he didn’t even leave his apartment at all yesterday and he invited nobody over. Is it happening again? And it’s even worse now?
There’s no turning back anymore
Be my girl – this heart won’t lie
Honey Imma make you mine
Hold you tight right now
Can you give me one more night?
Let’s get it now
[Flashback to 3 years ago]
Abe is in his final year of medical school, under the supervision of Professor Matsumura.
One night, Abe wanted a detailed explanation on a specific medication. Usually, they will discuss everything at the school but that night, the professor invited him to his apartment at the lecturer’s quarters. They sit in the living room and start the discussion. After a while, Abe felt dizzy. He remembered standing up as he felt like he wanted to puke, then his professor’s voice asking him “What’s wrong? Where are you going?”, before he passed out. When he woke up, he was on his professor’s bed, with his professor lying next to him, both of them, naked. That was when he realized. His professor had planned all that. His juice was drugged. And he was having a hard time believing that – he was assaulted.
You are my love trigger
A dangerous flavor, but I want ya
The moment our eyes met
I’m Going crazy
Going crazy for you, oh God
I’m craving to be loved by you
[Back to current timeline]
The rest of the day, Abe is in autopilot mode. He asked the supervisor in charge to give him only paperwork jobs for the day with the excuse of he’s still recovering from a fever. Actually, he’s not in the right mind space to see patients right now.
Abe takes out his phone and is about to send a text to Miyadate, hoping to see his psychiatrist later after work. He was just about to type…
“Abe-san! A delivery for you!” The mail boy hands him over a package with no sender name. Just addressed to him.
He opens the package. He shrieks.
Inside, are various photos of him INSIDE his apartment. Photos of him cozying up on the couch of his living room, photos of him cooking in the kitchen, even scandalous photos of him in the shower and also…photos of him sleeping in his bedroom.
Abe is visibly trembling. What is happening? Who is doing all this? Did he really had a relapse that he doesn’t even remember who he let into his apartment?
“May I know who dropped this parcel off?”, Abe asks the receptionist at the front desk of the clinic.
“Ahh the courier man dropped this off. They said they received special instruction to remove the dispatch note as it was a surprise. What’s the occasion, Abe-san? You finally got a lover?”, the receptionist giggles.
“No…Umm…Did they gave you the dispatch note?”
“Ahh yes. Thankfully I didn’t throw it away yet. Here you go”.
He scans through the document. He gets the 3rd shock of the day.
The sender is in initial M.H. and the address is Unit 11A, Astrolab Complex.
His home address.
His vision goes black.
I want your love, I want your love, I want your love
Oh baby
I need your love, I need your love, I need your love
Oh baby
Jesse sends him back to his apartment that evening.
“If you’re still unwell tomorrow, just take another day off. Don’t force yourself too much, ok?”
Abe thanked his colleague before Jesse goes on his merry way.
Once inside Unit 11A, he ransacks the whole apartment, searching for hidden cameras. After hours of searching everywhere, he finds none. This is driving him crazy. Literally.
Is he really going crazy?
He takes out the dispatch note from his work bag and stares at it for a while.
From: M.H.
Unit 11A, Astrolab Complex.
Pick up date/time: 17th February, 10am.
Surely, he was home during the pick up time. In his memory, he was in his living room, reading a book at that time. He never called for a courier to pick up a package from his apartment. However, the one thing that he found most scary is the initial M.H.
Matsumura Hokuto.
His professor that is still missing since 3 years ago.
[Flashback]
That fateful night, it was Abe’s first time. He was also never been in a relationship before. He felt violated, of course. But Mr. Matsumura confessed that he had always been in love with him. Ever since his 1st year of medical school. And the thought that they will probably never see each other after this, because he will be graduating soon, made the professor decided to do this. Mr. Matsumura looked genuinely apologetic, he begged for Abe’s forgiveness and soon asked him, if they could be lovers.
Call him foolish, call him naïve. But he is inexperienced when it comes to the topic of love. He believed in the sweet words thrown at him. And Mr. Matsumura was never not kind to him. So he accepted.
His judgement was clouded by the thoughts of falling in love. He doesn’t realize at the time that he was manipulated. He forgot that whatever the professor did to him a while ago, was something unkind.
Abe has been dating Mr. Matsumura for 4 months now. It can be said that, Abe doesn’t expect his first love story would be in such a way. Being in a relationship is not always rainbows and butterflies – and Abe learned it the hard way. The professor strictly asked Abe to not tell anyone about their relationship, with the excuse of them being in a student-teacher relationship. Abe thought it was an acceptable request since he doesn’t know what impact it will lead to if the school knows about it, although, Abe is already a full-grown adult. As a matter of fact, even if anyone knows, there would possibly be no problem at all. It is not something morally incorrect.
Being in a relationship like that was quite tough. They don’t really go on dates because strangely, the professor was afraid that they would be discovered. Abe would be invited to sleep over at the professor’s place for certain days in a week. They would do the deed then. And every time, it was getting harsher for Abe as his professor would force him into experiencing different kinds of “pleasure” with the justification of “exploring”. And every time Abe refused, he would get beaten until he submitted.
The first month was decent. They would meet at the cafeteria during lunch if Abe is not doing clinical rotations, and had dinner at the lecturer’s quarters once a week. Second month rolled in and it started going downhill. The abuses began, they don’t eat lunch together as often again with the professor kept saying he’s busy and as Abe promised not to tell anyone about their relationship, he had no one to talk to about the problems he’s facing. It’s no surprise that these new intense experiences took a toll on his mental health. He started having dark thoughts. But he can still persevere. That is…Until he received a text message from an unknown number one day.
“I have a present for you. Come to the lab at 12pm sharp” – the text read.
Abe thought it was from his lover. They had a fight the night before so he truly thought that perhaps his professor was trying to make up with him. He let out a small smile. He leaped his way to the lab exactly at 12pm only to find there was no one around. It was lunch time after all. However, there was a yellow box with a ribbon, sitting on top of one of the benches. He got closer and surely; it was for him. There was a note on top of the box written “FOR ABE RYOHEI” on it. Abe excitedly opened the box.
There was a just a piece of paper inside with the message “Go to the theatre room”.
Ohh this is like an escape room game. Find clues and solve the mystery. He likes it.
He didn’t waste time to make his move towards the theatre room.
When he arrived at the huge theatre room, no one was in sight. Just like at the lab. He checked every seat, from top to bottom level - he found nothing. Then he made his way to the stage. There were just props and costumes; nothing addressed to him. He was about to give up when he heard a small noise. It was coming from the backstage. He slowly and quietly moved to the backstage. Gradually, the sounds started to get clearer. He can identify two different voices. He peeked inside.
That was when he experienced deceit.
Mr. Matsumura, his lover, can be seen doing the nasty with another student.
“You’re the most beautiful. You’re so good. I love you”.
Those are the words that Abe thought his professor exclusively said only to him.
He can hear his heart shattered into pieces.
Something ignited inside him at that moment. Rage. The rage of “How dare the person I love did this to me”. The rage of being fooled. The rage of failing to protect himself.
You are my love trigger
I want to wallow in the feelings, just like this
Forever and ever
[Back to current timeline]
Abe is trying to think logically no matter how irony that might sounds right now. Since the photos were already delivered to him, of course whoever the sender was, already got rid of the hidden cameras. He takes all the photos out from the package and begin to examine each photo in case he can find some details to help him sort out this situation.
This one photo of him cozying on the couch, reading a book, caught his eyes. Behind the sofa he was sitting on, is his work station at home. His laptop, his printer, his stationeries are all on that desk. His gut is telling him to check his laptop.
He switches his laptop on and immediately checks the printer history.
There he has it!
All the photos that were sent to him, were printed here!
The photos are stored in his laptop under the folder “Ryohei’s phone”.
That terrifies him!
He takes his phone and opens the gallery. Sure enough, the photos are all there.
He’s bewildered. He tries to gather his thoughts.
“Did I take all the photos myself? Then sent it to myself at work? What is happening? Heck! Did I have dissociative identity disorder? But…That doesn’t explain the hickeys! I can’t give myself hickeys at the back of my neck!”
“Shoppi! Come back here!”
Abe’s thoughts abruptly paused when he heard Meguro’s voice from outside. Seems like he’s coming nearer.
Abe goes to open his door and get a little surprise, seeing Meguro’s cat in front of his door with Meguro’s red suit jacket in its mouth. Abe crouches down to pet the cat. “Hello, Shoppi~ How are you?”
Meguro reaches them, panting. “He’s such a naughty cat. He wouldn’t let go of my jacket!”
Abe grins. “I guess he likes red”.
“Oh yes he does! You don’t know how he likes chewing on the red roses that Koji just bought. And he wouldn’t sleep on the bed that we bought for him. He prefers to sleep on Koji’s red blanket. I’m sorry to bother you”.
Abe shakes his head. “No, not at all! He went straight to my door. It feels like he wants to visit me! Is that right, Shoppi? Do you miss me? I’m happy that you come visit me~”
Abe helps removes the jacket from Shoppi’s mouth and return it back to Meguro.
“Thanks! By the way, how are you? You still look pale though. Don’t push yourself too hard yeah. When you’re tired, get some rest”. Meguro looks worried.
“Don’t worry, Meguro-kun. Just some work things that I have to settle. I’ll sort things out soon”, Abe smiles.
Meguro suddenly moves forward, giving Abe a gentle hug. Abe’s heart rate speeds up and he wishes he will not hyperventilate.
“I can see that you’re hurting. And it pains me. If there’s anything I can do to help, please tell me. I’m worried about you”.
Abe stands still in his spot, doesn’t know how to react. Meguro steps back after giving a few more soothing rubs to Abe’s back. Meguro is giving soft eyes.
At this point, Shoppi is already walking back towards its owners’ apartment. Meguro shakes his head. “The cat got an attitude. Anyway, I walk him outside occasionally too. I will text you whenever I bring him out so you may join if you feel like it”.
Abe’s eyes lit up. “Yes! Yes! I would love to! Let’s bond again sometime, Shoppi!”
“Hehe good night, Abe-kun!”
Abe stays in his position until Meguro enters his apartment. They wave at each other before Meguro closes the door.
Abe turns around. He is about to step inside when he notices…something on the floor. Like a small card. He picks it up. His eyes got bigger. So many thoughts are running in his mind. But one thing is clear now…
He knows…he was being messed with. Everything has fallen in place. He will not let this go and he will find the truth. Really soon.
If everything can be forgotten and overlaid
We’ll go together
Just pull the trigger
I won’t let you go
It’s 3am. The whole neighborhood is already in silence. Abe’s apartment is already pitch black.
A door opens. Only if one really focuses, can one hear the tiny footsteps entering inside.
A shadow of a figure emerges on the wall.
Now, the door of the bedroom is being open. Slowly. Quietly. And it closes so soon.
The figure approaches the bed.
The figure bends down…
“GAHHH!”
Abe rushes out of his bed towards the light switch. The light now illuminating the room, exposing his intruder. He had immobilized the intruder with a stun gun. The intruder is currently lying on the floor in pain.
“I need explanation, Meguro-kun!”
Meguro slowly looks up at Abe, who is now standing as far as possible from him.
He sneers. “Heh~ I didn’t expect you to figure it out so soon. I would like to toy with you a little bit more”.
“Tell me everything! Who are you? What do you know about me? Why are you doing this?!”, Abe screams in one breath.
Meguro tries to stand up, even though the shock is still going through his body. He directly makes eye contact with Abe. And he chuckles darkly.
“You’re trying to be a practicing psychiatrist, right, Abe-kun? Then why don’t you try to assess me right now? Let’s see if you’re good at your job or not”.
“You’re a psychopath, that’s for sure!”
“Ohh? And on what basis did you come with that conclusion?” Meguro is still holding eye contact with Abe, while he moves to sit on Abe’s bed, making himself comfortable.
Abe takes a polaroid photo from his nightstand and shows it to Meguro.
It’s the photo that “Koji” gave to Abe the night before Valentine’s Day. The photo of Abe was taken near the entrance door of his apartment. Behind the entrance door is a desk. And on top of the desk…is a mirror. And in that mirror…Reflected the figure of the one who took the photo.
“I guess this photo slipped out from your jacket last night. Now I know that it was you, who wants me to believe that I am insane. I also remembered where I heard the name “Shoppi” before I met your cat. This man called its name before he left your apartment. What is your motive? And who is this man?!”
Meguro tsk. “Damn! I knew that cat is a bad omen. But Koji insisted to adopt that little monster…”
“Which Koji?”
“Ahh~ the one that’s in the photo…that’s Fukazawa”.
“And where is this Fukazawa guy now?!”
Meguro smirks, moves his body forward, folds both his hands in wishing gesture and puts them below his chin. He has his legs open. “Six feet under. At Hissori Forest”.
Abe goes rigid upon hearing it.
“Hissori Forest…”
[Flashback]
Abe can’t get the image of Professor Matsumura making love with another student out of his head. It was driving him crazy. He decided then that he would observe his lover till the weekend. On Sunday, he would invite his lover to his favorite date spot, Hissori Forest, to confront the man and they could talk things out. Unfortunately, the date ended up in a tragedy.
That Sunday, they arrived at Hissori Forest late in the afternoon. This place does not have frequent visitors. It is far from the city and it’s just a deep forest covered by pine trees. Abe knew this place since childhood as he used to live at the countryside. When he was still a little boy, his parents would always tell him tales of different monsters that exist in the forest in order to scare him or disciplined him. When he turned into a teenager, his curiosity got the best of him and he decided to enter the forest to see what kind of monsters reside in there. Instead of monsters, he found a calming spot, with a beautiful scenery, with smells of fresh greenery, and it became his favorite spot to go whenever he feels down. Both Abe and Mr. Matsumura sat at the front of the professor’s jeep, with Abe leaning his head down on his lover’s shoulder.
“When was the last time we went on a date? It’s been a while, right?”
“Yeah. This week is especially busy. I’m grading a lot of students for the Shelf exam”.
“Busy? You still have time to play around with other man though…”
Abe lifted his head up. “I saw you that day. At the theatre backstage, fucking another man. I thought you said you love me. Am I not enough?!”
Mr. Matsumura kept his poker face. Then he sighed. “How do you know that I was there?”
“It doesn’t matter! What matters now is that you are cheating on me! What’s your justification?”
Abe’s head was suddenly roughly slammed on the car’s windshield, causing a crack. He let out a painful scream yet the professor was still holding the back of his head harshly.
“That’s no way to talk to your professor. Anyway, you know that I like exploring, right? I want to explore more territories which I did not get from you. Don’t get me wrong. You are very good in bed. It’s just that sometimes, you’re not doing it for me. Also, you seem to get tired easily these days. I can’t reach my high because of that. I’m sorry that you had to hear this from me, but you don’t satisfy me in bed”.
Tears fell down Abe’s cheeks. It hurts. From the impact of the glass. And from the cruel words.
“You don’t love me for who I am? You just love me for my body, is it? I can’t accept that! I want out of this relationship! We are breaking up!”
Abe strides away but the professor caught his hand. He forcefully pulled Abe back into his embrace.
“Oh no, that won’t do baby. I can’t risk you telling everyone about us”.
Abe scorns. “That’s not a problem. I will never want to admit ever dating a scumbag like you!”
Now Mr. Matsumura is violently cupping Abe’s cheeks, forcing the poor guy to look into his eyes.
“How would I know that you will never do that? Listen! You can’t leave me! I will make sure that I will make your life hell if you leave me. Remember, I am your supervisor. I am responsible for grading you. I can make you fail! Then you will regret it! 4 years wasted!”
Abe was thrown to the ground.
In a soft, anguished voice, Abe said, “I should’ve known you’re a red flag since the night you violated me. I’m stupid for believing you. I should’ve just reported you that night…”
Abe felt the energy draining from his body. He was unable to think straight. He crawled, trying to just get away from the place. But of course, the professor won’t let him.
“Hey! Where do you think you’re going?” He reaches down to grab Abe’s shoulder.
A sudden piercing scream. Abe had slammed a syringe forcefully onto the professor’s hand, causing the needle to pierce his vein.
“What have you done?!”, Mr. Matsumura screamed in pain.
The professor’s head is spinning. He tried to stand up but fell back down immediately. Then he experienced shortness of breath. It felt as if he was choked. He raised his hand towards Abe before his vision blurred…and he will never wake up…ever again.
Abe doesn’t remember how he felt when he killed Mr. Matsumura. He does remember what he did after he realized that his professor is no longer alive though. He dragged the body deeper inside the forest and buried him there. He went back to the jeep to carry his professor’s belongings, everything, bringing them to a waterfall much deeper in the forest, then throwing all the belongings down.
He had no memories of how he got back to the city. He remembered suddenly waking up at the medical school clinic. The doctor said that he threw himself in ongoing traffic and a car hit him. However, he cannot recall such a memory. He then remembered the doctors talking about Mr. Matsumura going missing. A few days later, a poster with Mr. Matsumura’s face with the header “MISSING PERSON” was circulated inside and outside the medical school.
Abe looked up at the sky. It was gloomy. A downpour was expected to arrive soon.
“Ahh It’s not my fault. Not my fault at all. He was the one who killed me. I just pulled the trigger”.
[Back to current timeline]
“Remember Professor Matsumura Hokuto? He was my stepbrother”, Meguro announces.
Abe shivers hearing the name.
“I saw both of you at Hissori Forest 3 years ago. And I know that he had passed”.
“And you’re here for revenge? Is that it?”
Meguro burst into laughter. “Nahh~ He was never kind to me so whether he’s alive or dead, I am indifferent. I’m just…interested in you”. He stands up and slowly marches towards Abe, at the corner of the room. “I knew my brother was not exactly a decent man. I was surprised when I found out that he had a lover. Nope, he didn’t tell me about it. Let’s just say, at that time, I was annoyed why my father kept on comparing me to him. Why I can’t be as good and successful as he was. So I harbored a strong hatred towards my brother. I followed him around; in case I could find some dirt on him. I wasn’t disappointed. He did have lots of dirt on him”.
“Stand back!”, Abe shouts, pulling the trigger on the stun gun, showing Meguro the electric volts coming through it.
Meguro raises both his hands up, in a surrender gesture. “I knew you ever since you were in your first year. Initially, you were just a face that I was familiar with, as you were a student under my brother’s supervision. I saw everything when he assaulted you. And I was a little shocked when you agreed to be his boyfriend. I saw an opportunity. I want to use you to expose my brother’s dirty secrets to the world. To show my father how his favorite son, was not an angel after all. I hope you still remember how you got to know about my brother’s affair. I was the one who sent the text message to you”.
Abe comes to a sudden realization. No wonder he felt dejavu when he was putting Meguro’s phone number into his phone contacts. Last 4 digits: 0216.
“You might’ve not realized it when I gave you my number because we’re contacting through LINE. But if you scroll down your Messaging App to that message 3 years ago, you might find my name there”, Meguro smirks. “However, I do feel bad about what happened to you. With the stress of being in a medical school, plus the abuses you have to deal with, it’s no surprise that those things took a toll on you. Sometimes I do feel remorse. If I knew that you’re mentally unstable, I wouldn’t have sent that message to you”.
“And I will be kept in the dark then. And I will probably still under the torture of your brother. All this while, I never questioned who sent that text message 3 years ago. I was so enraged by the truth that I forgot the source of the catastrophe. I guess I have to thank you for that tip. Say, Meguro-kun. If you saw us that day at Hissori Forest, why don’t you report me to the police?”
Meguro laughs again and stares deep into Abe’s eyes. “That won’t be fun then”.
He walks to Abe’s closet. “Anyway, with my brother gone, I change my stalker victim to you! Hahaha! Don’t you feel happy? That you have a stalker? I spent most of my time just for you! Watching your every move! Hahaha! I’ve been watching you for 3 years now. Can you believe it? You don’t even have the slightest idea!”
He pulls out Abe’s white collared shirt from the closet. “You’ve been having it rough; I know. I’m still amazed how you’re still able to finish your medical school with flying colors. It’s as if you’re unfazed by whatever that happened. I learned that you have selective amnesia, but it seems that you only forgot some events, you did not forget your studies at all. How prodigious! You continue living a normal life. However, when you fall in love with that teacher at the school you were doing your residency 2 years ago, you started to get panic attacks. You hallucinate. That’s when you were introduced to Dr. Miyadate. And he diagnosed you with Philophobia, the fear of love. The effect of your trauma was quite frightening that one time, the security guard have to slap you on the face to get you to wake up. You were screaming you saw someone dying in your apartment. Dr. Miyadate said that’s your trauma-based memory, of when you were abused, and felt like dying. The teacher gave you mixed signals and at the end, he just left. He got a new job at Nagano prefecture and didn’t even confess to you. I saw you feeling down for days but getting well on your trauma. How ironic, don’t you think? That’s why I found you interesting. Your condition is interesting. You crave for love but you’re afraid of love”.
Meguro steps forward with the white shirt in hand. He folds the shirt and stretch the long sleeves, making it just like a long piece of cloth. Abe keeps his eyes on Meguro’s every moves. He feels threatened now. So he pull the trigger of the stun gun again.
“You’re a psychopath! How about that Fukazawa guy then?! Why did you kill him?”
“Ahh~ He’s just a poor sacrifice for my plan. Which has now…kinda failed, I guess? Fukazawa was a budding actor in my theatre. I always knew that he liked me. So I made him my boyfriend. He had his…toxic traits, you know. And he kinda annoyed me too. That Valentine’s Day night, I told him to meet me at the apartment since Koji was going to be back late. I guess he was expecting a romantic night but guess what? I attacked him instead. And I made sure, that I made you witnessed everything”.
In a swift motion, Meguro uses Abe’s white shirt to knock the stun gun off from Abe’s hands. Abe doesn’t have enough time to react before he was captured by Meguro next. Meguro uses the same shirt, throwing it around Abe so right now, Abe is locked in Meguro’s arms.
Meguro inches his face closer till the undoubtedly struggling Abe can feel Meguro’s breath on his face. “I want to see you go crazy for real. The plan was to make you saw the murder but acted that it never happened. I passed that one. Then I want you to believe that you did things that you don’t. Ahh~ I wonder where did I go wrong?”
Abe slowly lifts his head to see Meguro eye to eye, as if challenging him, and he smirks, “If it’s not because of the hickey, you might’ve succeeded”.
Meguro returns the smirk. “Ahh~ I didn’t expect you will notice the hickeys. I guess I got too carried away~ You’re just too irresistible that it took my whole willpower to not pounce on you while you’re sleeping~”
“Tell me, when did you start all this?”
“Ohh~ From the very first day I moved here. Fukazawa helped me with the stuffs during the moving day and I was glad when I saw you peek through your window to see us. Then I came to greet you and gifted you that candle. You invited my housemate too. And I said Koji’s name. Which is true. Koji is my housemate but I made you believe Fukazawa is Koji. Remember you were searching your keys the next day and found it outside? I took them. And I duplicate them. So I have access to your apartment all this time without you knowing”.
Meguro throws the shirt away and uses his right hand to hold Abe’s back, while he brushes his left hand slowly through Abe’s right arm until it reaches Abe’s hand. He then hooks their hands together before whispering into Abe’s ear, “Let’s dance, shall we?”
Meguro moves his right hand to hold Abe’s waist while Abe’s left hand is still stuck on Meguro’s chest. They sway left and right, while Meguro continue his tale.
“Koji knows nothing by the way. Not about my plans, not about Fukazawa. I have a respect for Koji as a cousin who’s always helping me. Even this apartment - he was the one to convince the realtor to get us an apartment in this building. Anyway, Koji is always busy and it’s a blessing that his working hours doesn’t match with yours. The chances of you crossing paths with Koji is very thin. It works for my plan. I brought Fukazawa into the apartment numerous times without Koji’s knowledge. When Koji is out working. Fukazawa was a naïve one. He believed everything I said and willing to do everything I told him to. I told him that I want us to keep our relationship private. Nobody in this building ever knows Fukazawa, not even the security guard. Because he always entered with a hoodie and mask on. He could be a guest on anybody’s apartments. Nobody ever saw Fukazawa’s face…until the Valentine’s Day eve. I went to bring him out for dinner but before that, I sent him to get some stuffs that I left in the apartment, the same time you got back from shopping. I managed to persuade him to simply keep his head down and go inside without the mask on. I was hoping that you could just saw his face but unfortunately…or fortunately? Your groceries fell down and you guys interacted. But I knew Fukazawa was loyal. He would never expose himself or us for my sake. So I was glad when he told me that he never introduced himself as Fukazawa nor Koji…because you already said it yourself. It was implanted in your head that my housemate is Koji so automatically, the person who came out from our apartment has to be Koji if it’s not me”.
Abe recalls that night he met Fukazawa. No wonder the man said “Nice to meet you too, neighbor”. He never specifically introduced himself as Koji. Abe was the one who assumed the man was Koji.
“However, that guy made one mistake. He was so excited by the polaroid camera that I gifted him, the thing that I asked him to retrieve from the apartment. He snapped a photo of you and gifted it to you. Thankfully, he told me about it at dinner. It’s as if he knew he wasn’t gonna live much longer, and he left you with the evidence. I got a little panic. But it’s alright. Since I got the key to your apartment. I entered your apartment that night. To retrieve the polaroid”.
The night Abe was awoken by the falling pots! And then he heard a rustle inside the apartment? That was Meguro! It was indeed, a bad omen.
“But that polaroid actually elevates the intended effect on you. You must’ve felt you have gone crazy that moment when you can’t find the polaroid anywhere, right? Hahaha! I guess I owe Fukazawa that one! Anyway, I am…a hacker. If you’re wondering how I’m able to track you every time, it’s because I have installed a secret tracking app on your phone. I have already entered your apartment while you were asleep a few times before the Valentine’s Day eve. To be honest, I did have a fuzzy feeling in my chest when I saw my gift, the lavender scented candle – you used it even when you were sleeping, with candle warmer lamp”.
Meguro bites Abe’s left earlobe. Abe groans.
“I felt like you bring a part of me close to you. I personally thought it as an intimate gesture. Where was I again? Ohh Fukazawa. Fast forward to Valentine’s Day, whatever you saw from your window that night, all of that, happened. I hit him repeatedly on his head with the table lamp until he was unconscious. What I did to him after that? You know there’s an abandon theatre behind this building, right? I put him inside a body bag, drag him to the balcony of my bedroom…and threw him down. If he didn’t die from the beating, he’d definitely die from the fall. This is the 11th floor after all”.
Abe stops moving. Hearing the brutal story makes him more scared of the man who’s embracing him now. But Meguro forces Abe’s body to keep swaying.
“I retrieve his body the next morning. I rent a car for me to go to Hissori Forest, to bury the body there. But I went to the florist first, to give you the flower bouquet. I knew Dr. Miyadate was inside. I bet either one of you would propose the idea of checking the CCTV. I was right! And I was so well prepared! I deleted the footages when Fukazawa and Koji entered and left the apartment. I also tampered some footages to make it seem like the footages were lost at random times of the day, every day. Ohh by the way, I don’t like how close Dr. Miyadate is to you. I was the one who threw the flower pot down that day. I wish it crashed on his head. I was jealous, you know? No one else can be closer to you than I do”.
“That’s ridiculous! You’re twisted! How can you be jealous when you don’t even love me?”
“Ohh~ but I do love you, Abe-kun~” Meguro reaches down to bite on Abe’s collarbone, leaving his mark. Abe gasps.
“All these years of watching you, how can I not love you, Abe-kun? Love comes in many forms. As you said, I’m twisted, and so do my love. So continuing my story, I successfully buried Fukazawa at Hissori Park that evening. The next plan was to make you believe you did things unconsciously. I already planted some secret cameras inside your apartment beforehand. I sent my favorite shots of you to your workplace, using your apartment’s address as the sender address. I chose my brother’s initial to further convince you that you are…having a relapse. By the way…”
Meguro holds Abe’s chin to face him, making eye contact. Abe’s eyes are hazy. Meguro licks his lips.
“My most favorite photo is the one in the shower. Did you see yourself? So erotic~”
Abe is back to reality and pushes Meguro away so hard till he’s free from Meguro’s caging embrace.
Meguro’s expression turns dark.
“There you are, Abe-kun. You heard the whole story. Now that you know the truth, I can’t risk you calling the cops on me. I guess my fun time with you have to come to an end. There are two ways to have you passed away as if you’re self-exiting. Either I can force you to overdose on your medication…or you fall down. Hmm…I guess seeing you fall down will be much more exciting…So let’s do that then!”
Meguro violently grabs Abe by his hair, dragging him out to the balcony outside his room. Abe struggles. Punching, kicking, doing everything in his strength to get himself away from his captor. At one point, Abe managed to escape, returned inside to reclaim his stun gun but Meguro pulled him back towards the balcony and he struggled to break free once again.
“You know stun gun is only gonna work temporarily, right? You should’ve grabbed a knife or something sharp”.
“A slight chance is still a chance. Even if I can immobilize you just for a split second, I can do something in that split second”.
Now, they have already moved towards the railing, Meguro is still struggling to place Abe in a position where it’s easier to make him fall while Abe is still struggling hard to break free. Abe pulled the stun gun trigger numerous times, but Meguro was able to dodge them. Seeing the fiery determination in Abe’s eyes, Meguro is fascinated. Meguro pushes Abe to the railing, on his back, and Abe’s left hand is holding on to it in a strong grip. The railing is quite safe but with their heights, Abe being 178cm and Meguro is 185cm, accidents like falling may still happen, if not careful. Abe is now dangerously leaning on the railing with Meguro choking his neck. Meguro looks down. He takes a deep breath. He has decided.
“How about this, Abe-kun? Why not…We could go together. Ending my life with you by my side is not a bad idea at all. I also want to know how it feels to fall from this height”, Meguro suggests, looking straight into Abe’s eyes. He loosens his grip on Abe’s neck. He then takes Abe’s right hand, the one that’s still grabbing the stun gun, placing it on his chest, “Come, pull the trigger. With the shock, I bet we will be pushed down together”.
“Hah?! Why would I believe a psychopath like you?! How do I know that you wont only push me down instead?!”
Suddenly, Meguro came to a halt. Seems like something stirs in him, perhaps he is processing his thoughts, so many things jumbling in his mind. He gently pulls Abe into his embrace, slightly away from the railing. Then he pulls both of them down to the floor, still in an embrace. Abe is shocked at this rapid change in attitude. He hears a sob. Meguro is having his head down on Abe’s shoulder. Meguro is crying.
“I…love you so much you have no idea. The thought that…I won’t be seeing you anymore…I don’t think I can stand it…I love you so much…I love you so much…”
Abe is still appalled but he brings his hands to rub Meguro’s back and returns the hug. He decides to analyze the situation a little bit more before he takes further action.
Meguro slowly calms down. He finally brings his head up to face Abe again.
“We both sinned, Abe-kun. We’re both guilty. I believe you also feel guilt-ridden even though you’re afraid to admit it on the face of law. I don’t usually feel sympathy for others. You’re a different case. Till the time of retribution arrives, let us repent in silence, Abe-kun. Be my lover. Let us go far away from this fast-paced, noisy and restless city life. I want to bring you to live with me in the countryside. Leading a slow and peaceful life. Maybe, that’s what we both need…”, Meguro paused. He cracks a small smile, and with confidence, he states, “…Aside from each other. Would you like to try, Abe-kun? Can you be my lover?”
Meguro kept staring at Abe, looking hopeful, while waiting for an answer.
Abe buried his face into Meguro’s chest. He’s bursting into tears as well. He feels intense emotions, and his heart is in pain.
His trembling hands reach out to Meguro’s cheeks. In between sniffing, Abe said, “My toxic trait is when you say you love me, I am compelled to love you too”. A tiny laugh comes out of Meguro. They bump their foreheads together.
“Is that a yes?”
“As long as you don’t try to kill me again”.
Meguro tightened his hug. He looks up to the sky. A lightning. Followed by a thunder.
He takes a deep breath. With determination, he declares:
“I, Meguro Ren, promise to be true to you in good times and bad times, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honour you all the days of my life. Even in death, I do not want us to part. In this life and the next, for however long our souls remain, I hope mine will always find yours”.
Abe is left speechless listening to Meguro’s vows. He stayed in his position until Meguro squeezed his shoulders, “What’s your answer, Abe-kun?”
Abe is taking his time. Once he’s ready, he announces:
“Let us be true companions. I pledge you, my love, now and forever”.
A roaring thunder. And they kissed.
Let’s get it now
You are my love trigger
A dangerous flavor, but I want ya
The moment our eyes met
I’m Going crazy
Going crazy for you, oh God
I’m craving for your love
{Epilogue}
Abe and Meguro continue living in the same apartment complex until the next 3 years. Abe successfully finished his residency and proceeded to become a healthcare professional that can diagnose and treat a wide range of mental health conditions. Meguro waited till his contract with the theatre ended before he brought Abe to live with him in the peaceful, rural area of Hokkaido. They revealed their relationship to Koji a year after the incident. They made up a story and told him that they gradually developed feelings for each other during every walk with Shoppi at the park. Which is not entirely untrue. Koji was very ecstatic; he won’t stop congratulating them throughout the day. Koji was sad to let them go but the man found another housemate immediately after Meguro left. A pink head who’s as loud an as eccentric as he is. Who also becomes his boyfriend later.
Life seems wonderful for everyone.
I want your love, I want your love, I want your love
Oh baby
I need your love, I need your love, I need your love
Oh baby
[7 years later]
It’s early February. The local meteorological observatory has issued warnings of possible snowstorm in a few hours’ time. Snow has started to fall now, but not hard, yet. Two men are cozily sitting in the living room of a two-storey home in the middle of a vast land in Sarakitomanai. No other houses are built around the area aside from this one. It takes about 40 minutes by car in good weather condition until anyone can find a sign of civilization. The owners of the house seem to prefer living a quiet life. And that’s fine.
A knock on the door.
Abe opens it. He is greeted by two policemen.
One of them asked, “Excuse us, sir. May I know if Meguro Ren lives here?”
Abe hesitates. With a trembling voice, he asked back, “Why?”
The other police officer shows him a polaroid photo. “A forest ranger found two skeleton remains in Hissori Forest by accident. This photo was found in one of the victim’s pants pocket”.
It’s a photo of Fukazawa and Meguro, the night before he was murdered.
Meguro looks at the snow falling outside his window. He sighs. After 13 years of keeping secrets…
“Ahh~ it would be nice if I could touch the snow right now…”
Because the snow will immediately melt with touch.
Just like happiness.
Happiness only lasts for a while.
It doesn’t last forever.
=== FIN ===
You are my love trigger
I want to wallow in the feelings, just like this
Forever and ever
[Offshoot tale] [Back to 19th February, the day both Abe and Meguro made their vows]
After the kiss, Abe and Meguro goes back inside the room. Looks like the rain is about to fall.
Both of them sit on Abe’s bed, side by side, but stay silent. Neither of them knows how to start the conversation.
“Umm…I celebrated my 27th birthday 3 days ago”, Meguro starts, awkwardly.
“Ohh? On the 16th? What did you do?”
“Nothing fancy. My colleagues surprised me at the theatre. As I said before, I’m not in good terms with my dad so I only went to see my mom at a diner near the theatre. She baked me a strawberry cake. Always my favorite. Then Koji threw me a small birthday party. Just me, him and Shoppi. I received an unpleasant gift from Shoppi that day. Ugh…He peed on my favorite hoodie! I swear I was a step away from throwing him out. Ohh but of course, the highlight of that day was…”
The room suddenly feels hot. The atmosphere suddenly turns intense.
Meguro had his face too close to Abe. He blows into Abe’s face before saying, “…to watch you sleep”.
Abe’s heart is racing. In a whispering tone, he asked, “Oh yeah? I wonder what else did you do when you came into my room at night? I believe you don’t just watch me…”
Meguro raises his eyebrow and let out a tiny laugh. “You really want to know?”
Abe breathlessly replies with a “Yes”.
Meguro gently pushes Abe to lie down on the bed. They are staring into each other’s eyes, as if trying to figure out each other’s next move.
“Sometimes, I do this…” Meguro kisses Abe’s forehead. Abe shivers.
“Sometimes, I do this…” Meguro kisses Abe’s right cheek. Next, he stares at Abe’s lips. He bends down. But Abe turns his head away.
Meguro sigh, with a small smile.
“Sometimes, I also did this…”
“Ahh~” Abe let out a sweet moan. Meguro has bitten his earlobe. Meguro chuckles. He’s satisfied with the reaction.
“Sometimes, I did this too…” Meguro places chaste kisses along Abe’s neck before biting hard, at the back of the neck. Another bright red mark appears next to the previous hickey.
“Hmm…” Abe bites his lips to stop the moans. Pleasure. He felt it.
And he craves for it. Now.
Meguro pulls back to have a good look at Abe’s expression. Abe’s eyes are hazy. Meguro can see the desire in those eyes. Abe looks so submissive under him like this. Pleasure. Meguro felt it too.
And he pines for it.
Meguro starts touching Abe everywhere and with every touch, Abe keeps moaning. Tears streaming down his face. He hasn’t been touched for a long while. It is so overwhelming. Every touch from Meguro is burning him.
Meguro take note of every expression Abe made. He’s aroused, examining each and every expression. He felt the need to protect. To bring Abe into his embrace. This time, more passionate, more loving.
“If you say you want me…I won’t hold back. And there’s no turning back for you either, Abe-kun…”
They stare into each other’s eyes again. It felt like eternity until Abe reaches up to kiss Meguro on the lips. The second kiss. More eager and lustful compared to the first kiss, which was not all that innocent.
“Take me. Make me yours”.
Meguro smiles. The sweet smile that Abe loves.
“Your wish is my command”.
They fulfilled each other’s desires passionately throughout the night. Accompanied by the rain. On the bed and continued in the bath.
Although obviously exhausted, Abe manages to mumble, “Happy belated birthday” before he fell into deep slumber, in the arms of Meguro Ren.
His confidant.
Love Talk: Abe Ryohei