Hey friend I saw your post about memories and I went and read through a bunch of other ones and?? How do you?? Get memories? Mine just come to me randomly or stuff it's really hard for me to get anything
ooh I’ve been ready for the day I got an ask about this!
Ok, so! Obviously, there’s general advice - going through the character’s canon in their media, looking at art or stories or videos or aesthetics made that relate to them, listening to music etc. etc. and mostly I say this because these have worked for me too, though it’s pretty random.
But what I do specifically, that works for me pretty much on command (though I can’t do it all the time), is what I call the memory walk! It’s not my method really, it’s structured off of this method here. However, I’ve found that as I do it, it’s more successful when I personalize the process in a way that works for me, and pay attention to what works for me!!
So I’d advise reading through the original process to start with, but I can also tell you about my experience with it if that might help!!
I am going to say, though, the most important thing to remember for this process is to listen to your instincts and pay attention to how it goes. if you can’t seem to get things to work, you may need to try something different. If you feel like you’re doing it right then you probably are, but if you feel like something’s not adding up then you may need to address whatever it is that feels off and try again.
Don’t try to overthink or force it, you’re more likely to block things off and get frustrated. Go with the flow and learn the cues your brain gives you so that you know when you’re doing the right thing.
First off, I make myself comfortable, usually laying down because sitting up I get stiff or uncomfortable (bad back). I make sure I have the time and quiet space to do it, drawing the blinds on the windows, setting an alarm if I think I might fall asleep on accident (hasn’t happened as much I’ve gotten better, but it still happens sometimes), make sure it’s not noisy and that I don’t have to go anywhere or do anything in a time crunch. Usually for me this means evenings or weekends!
Then I begin focusing on my breathing - personally, I don’t count while breathing. Why? My brain has trouble when it comes to staying focused on a train of thought, and I’ve found keeping track of the numbers actually makes it harder for me to get into the mindset I need to - I either get really mixed up and frustrated at how I can’t keep track of the numbers, or I get so distracted doing that I sort of forget what I’m doing? Instead I just focus on the in and out, focusing on my breath rather than anything too much. Usually if I’m thinking about anything during this, I’m focusing about which timeline am I going to find memories for this time around. This is probably what helps me settle into the right frame of mind, honestly. It’s like prepping yourself for the next steps.
I’d suggest trying the number method for the first time, see if it works for you. If not, then finding an alternative thing to think about or focus on is just as good!
Once I feel like I’m ready - which is pretty subjective, but in my case, I almost feel something in my mind shift? like it feels like a lot of external stimuli kinda shuts off, even though it’s just my brain focusing inward. Stuff’s still there, but I’m sort of not paying it any mind anymore. Again, pretty subjective, it might not feel that way for you, and you may never feel anything different beyond ‘ok I think I’m ready’?
But anyways, once I think I’m ready - I know who I’m delving for kin memories, I’m all calm and focused and whatnot - it’s time to tackle the visualization walkthrough. I find it really helps to keep me on track to picture myself as the kin, and I start going down whatever stairs I’m visualizing. Usually I begin narrating or thinking as if it were my kintype’s thoughts and speech patterns instead of mine. While going down stairs I’m usually just narrating some variation of ‘yup going down the stairs don’t trip just keep going until you find the right floor and we’ll be there’ lmao.
After some time going downstairs - there’s no set time or amount of stairs, it doesn’t take long but it’s not exactly a conscious decision either- I’ll reach a landing/floor of some type. And this floor will be this long wide space in the middle of a void area, all dark, and all I can see are myself, the stairs, the floor, and, if I’m on the right floor, the Door.
“on the right floor? This implies you can be on the wrong floor!” yup, I’ve had that happen before.
Brains are tricky things, and will often only show you things if you’re ready in some way or another. Whether it’s ready as in just focused and ready, or ready as in having some view of the world or some life experience that will allow you to handle things ok, who knows. But I’ve found, that if I’m not ready, or if I’m not in the right mindset, I’ll reach the floor and there won’t be a door there. In my case, this means a couple of things:
1 - I didn’t go down far enough, and I jumped off of the stairs too early. In that case, I return to the stairs sequence and go down more until I hit the floor with a door visible.
2- I’m just not up for regaining memories today - in this case, the whole visualization process has been hazy and unfocused, with lots of intrusive thoughts or tangents distracting me. During these times I usually get sidetracked with a train of thought and end up falling asleep. Oh well.
or, and this is a bit weird,
3 - I’m not ready to regain the memories for this kintype. Usually it means despite my prepwork and focusing on the kin, that I’m not actually in the right kinshift to tap into their memories. In this case I picked the kin out of a conscious desire to recover their memories specifically, rather than stopping to think about who I felt like was up to going down the stairs that day. Usually I try to go back upstairs and pick whoever feels right and try again, but by that point I’ve fallen out of the zone and can’t continue usually.
So if you can’t find the door, just try going down or up the stairs and repeating the walk and see if you find a floor with the door. If not, it just might not be the right time for you, and you’ll have to try again later.
Now!!! The moment you’ve been waiting for, the door!!
I’ve found the door is a sort of manifestation of the concepts it represents. For example, each of my kintypes has a different door. Meenah has a big pink iron door, Dave has a pretty old red wooden door, Kanaya’s is like a garden gate and so on. But it goes beyond that!!
If you’re not ready to access the memories for any reason, even after making it all this way, or if you’re easily psyched out and nervous, then the doors might be huge and imposing, and look impossible to open because they’re so big! This happened the first time I tried to do it and got to the door. That said, the second time I had wised up, and was able to shrink the door down to a good size, and opened it easily. So it’s sort of like a reflection of how not mentally prepped you are for whatever’s on the other side.
I’ve also had the doors look different under other circumstances, too! For example, I recently had to go out of my way and do a memory walk because I could feel a memory upsetting me, but couldn’t consciously recall it for some reason. When I did, it was for Dave and his door, but it was pulsating and glowing rather than its usual unassuming state.
These won’t necessarily happen for you, nor will they happen like that if at all. But it’s important to note that the mindspace isn’t going to entirely conform to you at all times, so if you run into something unexpected, it’s up to you to try to diagnose the issue and approach it accordingly in a way that suits you! This may apply to other steps too, like the stairs or the way the memories show themselves!
So you’re at the door, and you reach to open it - what happens next?
If you’re able to grab the handle or knob or whatever, congrats it’s memory time! But if you grab at the door and it’s locked, or you can’t bring yourself to actually turn the knob, you might not be ready yet, and that’s ok!
While I suppose you could try to force it, or envision a key or other way in like the original post suggests, I personally don’t like pushing the matter if I’m blockaded like that. Perhaps it’s due to my Breath aspect nature of letting things lead me, but in my case I’ve found it’s better to learn to take a hint and back off, or try again later. My mindspace is very organic and definitely expresses itself in a way that reflects what I need, not what I want. Yours may not be like that. But if You try to open the door and nothing works, then your mindspace may be more like mine and may be calling some of the shots. Just learn to listen to the messages and you’ll be fine!
So then…. assuming you get through all of this, you open your respective door, and on the other side are your memories!!!
I will say this - if you get as far as opening the door, you should have your memories right there!!! I have never opened the door and not found any memories!
That said, it may be hazy or out of focus at first. If that’s the case, focus on a memory you want to recall!
E.g. - what was my home like? - or - I know I was close with x person, I want to remember something with/about them - or even - I know this event happened in my canon, let’s go to that moment and see if I can get a bigger picture of what happened.
And from there, you’ll have memories that you can access at your disposal!!
I’ve found it’s like walking through memories the way any movie will portray it, closest on-hand example would be the Pensieve in the Harry Potter movies - you are standing within the memories, but aren’t participating in real time or interacting with them. You can control where your points of focus are at will, though you may have a harder time with the bigger picture if you do this - for example, you start of with a memory of you on the computer - what are you doing on the computer exactly? - oh look, messaging a friend. but what about? And so on. It’s kind of like adjusting focus on a camera!
You can also skip to different memories, by focusing on something you want to know, like the questions I gave above! You can’t do this forever though - I’ve found if I go too long, I get stuck on one particular memory and pull out, or I can’t think of anything else at the moment, and pull out or fall asleep lmao.
But anyways!! That’s my experience and observations on it!! I really hope this helps you, and that you can find a way to remember things at will like this!!!
oh yeah so I was settling down for a sickie nap, and decided to try this method to regaining kin memories .... It’s interesting because I went through the breathing, went down the stairs- I tried to focus on Meenah since I could’ve sworn I’d had one of her memories in a dream earlier. And I went to try the door, hoping to get that memory, I figured if I’d almost recovered it before it’d be easier, right? Well, I turned the knob, but - I couldn’t fully bring myself to pull on it. It wasn’t even that it was locked necessarily (though it could’ve been), but I couldn’t bring myself to pull on it, I just twisted the knob. I considered that maybe I needed to get more in the zone, try going back up the stairs and doing the countdowns again, when a thought occurred to me, not even really my conscious train of thought - “you aren’t ready yet.”
I’m not sure what this meant by ‘ready’ - maybe I just had gone through the exercise too quickly, or maybe it doesn’t work as well when you’re not in the best of physical comfort (for example me being sick) but tbh my takeaway was that I’m not ready to recall Meenah’s memories yet. I’m not sure if it’s Meenah specifically, or maybe just that I’m not at a point where I’m not yet efficient enough to use this technique to regain memories (I’ll probably try under different setting for different kintypes to see).
Buuut I did wanna say, if it WAS because a part of me isn’t ready to recall Meenah’s memories - a lot of stuff in life happens for a reason. So if for any reason you try this and you have a similar problem, or the door is locked, and you try anything you think of in that headspace to open it and still can’t quite get it, it might be that there’s a reason you can’t recall that / those memories yet. Maybe they’re really deep or painful, or maybe there’s something about them that won’t be as significant if you regain them now rather than later. Most importantly, don’t stress it if the activity doesn’t work for you, and don’t be afraid to try again. Worst case scenario, you’ve spent a few sessions of quiet calm-time imagining stairs and doors or whatever works for you.
So how do you know if you have a kin? I recently had something like an open-eyed dream sort of thing, kinda like a memory. I have never experienced anything that could consider me a kin, so I would love to know! Also, what's the first kin like?
Ooh, well you’ve come to the right place! In fact, waaaay back when I discovered my first kin, and recognized my first memory, it was a strangely real ‘dream’ much like what you seem to be describing! And while I’d considered the possibility that I had kintypes, I’d never considered the kintype it had turned out to be. So there is a good possibility that dream of yours might be indicative of a kin. There are other ways to identify or recognize it, as well. Most people I meet tend to say they will see the character, or other possible kintype, and on some level they’ll identify with them. They’ll look at it and say, ‘there, that’s me!’ I know for me I usually figure it out more based on memories- dreams, sudden visions or thoughts and the like. I’ve experienced the 'look that’s me!’ For figuring out a kintype once before.
If there’s one common element, that sort of solidifies how it 'feels’ - things and feelings related to kin things tend to linger. They tend to persist or are felt strongly other than, say, 'oh, yeah, I relate to this character a certain way.’ It could be a gut feeling, or intense emotions felt based around the character and their circumstances. It could also be a bit like a hyperfixation - you may find you enjoy looking at or reading about or learning more about that character almost exclusively, moreso than the rest of the source content they come from. The big reason I have this blog set up the way it is is so that when I’m feeling more towards that kin, I can go through and look at the material I’ve reblogged here for them.
As for what the first kin is like - that specifically will be an experience entirely unique to you and your kintype. In my case, it was confusing at first, and intensely emotional- my first kin, Dave Strider, comes from a pretty emotionally hefty setting. And I’ve always been resistant to 'jumping the gun’ and assuming something meant I was kin when it could have been anything else- so I think my brain began using more emotional memories to grab my attention and help me realize it was okay to accept. So I made it a bit rougher on myself and I think that affected it.
But as time went on and I settled into being kin with Dave, I found that opened up to other experiences and feelings as well - an intense love for all Karkats, for example. Art with Karkat in it always cheered me up because in my Dave timeline, Karkat was very important to me and made me happy.
I also found more normal things were given a new dimension to them- I began wearing sunglasses more often because it helped me feel more like Dave, and also I discovered I preferred wearing them more often because it made me feel more comfortable. I also enjoy drinking apple juice more when I feel strongly like Dave.
Sometimes you’ll feel more connected to your kin, and it may affect how you behave or react or feel things. You may be inclined to change your speech pattern to channel your kin, listen to certain music, dress a certain way and so on. If your kintype doesn’t match your current physical body you may also feel like things are missing or not how they should be, sometimes- even minor details like longer/shorter hair, braces, overbites. In less minor cases, horns, wings, tails and different or altered body parts are also part of this weird phantom feeling.
Sometimes your kintype will create strong feelings of being that kin - if it’s strong enough you may forget what belongs to your kin and what belongs to you! I once nearly put my name on a quiz as “Erin Strider” - my last name is certainly not Strider. When I was in another kin shift earlier this month, I forgot I wasn’t allergic to peanuts and felt panicked halfway through eating a peanut butter granola bar.
So it’s sometimes a little hard to describe or explain, but it’s a little bit like another facet to your existing personality or persona. It adds to, and sometimes seems to explain your existing 'you’. I’ve learned a bit about myself through my kin and they help me learn ways to improve myself and my life.
There are different interpretations to what kin is, and that depends on your experience. Personally, I treat them as 'past lives’ of sorts. But your experience will ultimately be a little different and unique to you. You may recall lots of memories, or your kin may be more based on feelings you have. You may be kin with fictional characters, or you may find you’re kin with something else entirely, whether sentient or “real” or not.
But however you experience it, I hope you find it to ultimately be a positive experience. Good luck on sorting everything out, test out your feelings and explore the possibilities- even if you eventually come to the conclusion that you aren’t kin, there isn’t anything wrong with exploration. I hope this helps!!
mem walk anon! i managed to find the original post (after some digging whoa) and i tried doing that but couldn't focus on the counting bc i'd always get tripped up on it!! so i kinda stopped doing that and tried to focus on breathing :"3 also do you think if i learned how to meditate a bit that it could help with this? I've no experience with meditation though I have considered it for a multitude of reasons haha
Ok so I’m glad you found it! I bet it took digging pft. And yea i had the same problem with the counting process it was just… too confusing for me lmaoAnd as for meditation … that’s a good question! It couldn’t hurt! I know I can’t really meditate, and this is the closest thing I do that could be considered meditation. It probably would help! If you think it will work for you for any reason then I’d say give it a shot!
