Stockholder Meeting
(Menace!Reader x Various)
You were bored.
Meeting after meeting after meeting consumed your once empty schedule.
Long gone were the days where you could jump from building to building just for fun, when you've beaten the flash in a race by bashing their leg, when you would work the fields and come back to a warm meal prepared by Mrs. Kent.
Hell, even your days back at the asylum was more fun than this purgatory that is now your life.
If you had known that this was what awaited you at the top then you would have gladly stuck around at the bottom.
...
This sucks, you kind of want to go back to the farm again.
"Boss?" A voice snapped you out of your pondering, turning to greet them, you were met with your secretary.
"Have they decided to cancel the meeting?" You asked, leaning back and crossing a leg over the other. You stared at your ever so faithful secretary with a smile and tilted head, clasping your hands together.
"No, they're waiting for you now."
"Hmm, i see..." Although you remained calm, the smile became forced now. Shoulder tensed and teeth gritted-you stood up from your squeaky chair and sauntered towards the door.
Before leaving the room, you threw one last glance at your secretary.
"Be sure to send a candy bowl to the meeting, fill it with the usual. If i do not receive it in the next 10 minutes then expect me to end up in the news."
With that, the door was slammed.
♤ ♡ ◇ ♧
It has only been 4 minutes since the meeting started and you're already getting restless.
You had made sure to arrive about 5 minutes before the conference started just so you could pick your favorite seat. Knowing that everyone seems to always arrive at exactly 3 minutes before it starts.
You aren't sure why it's always 3 and are too pissed off after every meeting to talk to any of them for more than necessary
"(Name), please pay attention to the meeting. And behave, please? i expect someone as high standing as you would have some manners." Hearing Lex (The bastard) speaking never fails to agitate you, with his snotty tone and look on his face.
Rolling your eyes in annoyance, you reluctantly removed your feet from the table-but not without making sure the table shook for a bit.
Looking around the table, you were met with the same boring stockholding billionaire guy #35-#45. Really, the only one here that even deserves an ounce of your attention is just Lex, and that is only because he was a major buyer of your products.
Oh yeah, Jackass Wayne is also there you supposed.
Despite the fact that your products is solely focused on dealing with speedsters, Lex always decides to complain about it not working on goddamn SUPERMAN.
It's a miracle that you haven't strangled that bald man already.
"Now onto the next topic: Superman." AGAIN?!
"I'm sure you've all known by now, but our stocks have gone down almost 4% due to the Kryptonian. Many of our consumers have also avoided purchasing our products, saying that it's ineffective against the Man of Steel"
You rolled your eyes at him, not bothering to hide your obvious annoyance. Lex glanced at you, but either didn't notice or he had just gotten used to it. Honestly, you're surprised that the two of you were even still business partners, let alone speaking terms.
"Do we have any ideas on how to deal with this situation?" Lex asked, placing his hand on the table to support himself as he leaned forward.
"Your back is gonna have a situation if you keep doing that"
"Thank you for the suggestion (Name), anyone else?"
One of the attendees cleared their throat, Lex turned his head to address them.
"We could try to find out his secret identity, ambush him when they least expect it-"
"Seriously?" All eyes are on you now, not like you cared though.
"Excuse me?"
"Finding Superman's secret identity? What, you think he's less super when the costume's off or something?"
"Well, even if he is, his friends and family couldn't possibly-"
"Oh yeah, let's target his friends and family! Real good idea to give the guy something to be pissed off about, it's not like he can move PLANETS or anything!" You said with a mocking gesture, the one that suggested the idea opened his mouth to defend himself but quickly closed it-instead he just opted to let you finish, knowing from previous meetings that it was a bad idea to interrupt you.
"Actual morons you lot are, pissing off the boy scout? Really? Might as well just tie your assets to a nuke and detonate it at that point." You unwrapped a piece of candy and ate it, purposely flicking the wrapper at Lex, which didn't even made it halfway to him.
"Well then, do YOU have any better idea (Name)?" Lex said through gritted teeth, already feeling his blood pressure starting to rise from dealing with the gremlin.
"Me? I say we should just cut our losses, invest in something else." You nonchalantly suggested, resting your chin on a hand as you inspected a candy piece, barely paying him attention at all. "Your assets are mostly military, am i correct?"
"Yes, where are you going with this."
"I am simply saying that maybe it's about time to widen your horizons, open your eyes, see the larger picture! Whatever saying you want." You turned your gaze back onto Lex, throwing the candy back onto the bowl.
"Point is, maybe invest in something else, like health or something. Who knows! Maybe you'll find a way to grow some hair on that barren head of yours." You KNOW that Lex popped a vein from how his grip almost cracked the pristine table.
"Mentioning my baldness again? How very mature of you (Name)" Despite him not wanting to admit it, Lex was getting increasingly more aggravated.
"mEnTIonInG mY BAlDneSs aGAiN? HoW VerY MAtuRe oF yOu (Name)" Ah, your signature special: Getting Under People's Skin.
"I thought you were an adult, but i supposed i was wrong for once seeing how you are acting" Lex stood up to his full height, barely holding himself back from leaping across the table.
"Yeah? Atleast i'm not bald"
"As much as i enjoy this, we're getting off topic-"
The new voice was silenced when the two immediately yelled "SHUT UP WAYNE" in perfect unison.
Lex turned to face the little gremlin once again, his glare piercing through their very soul. "Really, again? Do you even have anything else other than that?"
"Losersayswhat?"
"What?"
"Hahaha, moron"
That seemed to have made him snap, seeing how he kicked his chair back, causing a few of the attendees to jump in their seats. The bald billionaire pointed an accusing finger at you-his face twisted into a look of complete anger.
"(Name) (Surname), might i remind you that you are acting like nothing more than a child! Completely unbefitting of someone in your position!"
"LALALALALALA I CAN'T HEAR YOU!"
♤ ♡ ◇ ♧
Safe to say that the meeting didn't end well.
After a few more back and forth, (Name) was kicked out of the room. And a few minutes later, Lex who was busy kicking his chair also left, apparently too worked up over the whole debacle to focus back on the meeting.
Then one by one, everyone left the room and the staffs were too busy cleaning up candy wrappings and chair pieces to notice another argument coming from the next room over, involving the same two person.
They were really only forced to confront reality when the fire alarm started blaring.
♤ ♡ ◇ ♧
A/N: Hi, hope you enjoyed it! I'm still figuring things out here so i'm sorry if there are any grammar errors.
The original was actually a platonic yandere fic turned into crack, currently still stuck in the flash arc since i haven't gotten around to writing at all lately.
I think i might use tumblr to publish more of my uh, oneshots/scrapped ideas? Or maybe as a way to introduce people to my writings. Atleast it's Better than letting them rot in a draft right?
I guess i'll see you on the next one? Until then, take care!